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That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

All you got?

All I got
2 (14.3%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (7.1%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
2 (14.3%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
1 (7.1%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
1 (7.1%)
Raoul Moat
2 (14.3%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
2 (14.3%)
the cool shoeshine
3 (21.4%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Dog Tired: Sleepy Hunter

That's all I got.

A thread for half-baked ideas that you can't be arsed to expand on.


Lawnmower Man 4: Hedge Fund - The Lean Years

Spoon of Ploff

Bless you, I've been wanting to share this idea.

Near where I be is a Fire Station with a Museum attached. It's called the Fire Museum, and its full of, I dunno, old engines and hats n' stuff. But it got me thinking, what if there was a fire museum that was full of fire?

Stay with me here.

At each major conflagration (Rome 64, London 1666, Chicago 1871, Tokyo 1923 etc), someone pops up to collect a few of the last dying embers and carries them off to this museum where those embers are put on exhibition and kept burning by the frequent application of wood shavings and wot not.

Entry to the museum is £15 Adults, £5 under 12s.... or your immortal soul or something.

A-and... that's all I got.


Ooh! Look! Mr. Flumpkin goes... ah fuck it.


The phrase "a magnus up the gary," and nothing else.

Uncle TechTip

Which songs are best to sing with a rhotacism and lisp? So far I've found that Country House by Blur and The Reflex are the most enjoyable.


Zombies and dinosaurs.

Title tbc.


Se7en 2: 8ight

No wait, get this...

Se7en 2: ei8ht
Se7en 3: nin9

Ok, now I'm spent.

Spoon of Ploff

A hard hitting fly on the wall type documentary of a man touring the UK with his collection of spoons.

All the different types of spoons...


... Sheffield '78s

... all the spoons.


Poor, nasty, British and short.

I don't know how to make this work because I don't want to punch downwards.



If I end up being my friend Matt's best man at his wedding:

"What a piece of work is Matt?"

That's all I got.


I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Alan Hansen Instructional Toilet-Training DVD.


Crouching Tiger Hidden I'm Not Arsed Mate At All


A wobbly goose goes 'bump!' along Flumpkin's Brucie... naaaaah.

Bleeding Kansas

Motte and Bailey

A police procedural where DCI John Motte and DCI Kevin Bailey exclusively solve crimes that take place in old castles.


A late-90's R&B duo called Tender 'n' Myld


"Static Alan's base-six adventure dice game"


Mick Hucknall doing local TV adverts for small businesses: "If you don't know me, buy now!"


This one's a bit more developed.

As part of Clowne canon, there's a race of sub-Clownes who work in the engine rooms of the space hulks. They are the pottie clownes, and they wank into the reactors to power the thrusters. The warrior-clownes bully this caste of clowne-serfs, so the pottie clownes have a certain cameraderie. This thing is just them, in the engine rooms, doing the o-O-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o, o-O-O bit from Tarzan Boy.


Quote from: doppelkorn on November 15, 2016, 10:30:40 PMThey are the pottie clownes (sic)

The Potty Clownes, to give them their grammatically correct title, were retired in 2011, to make way for the Speculum Gnomes.

Everybody knows that.


Episode idea for KOTH: Dale Gribble meets a female version of himself called Gail Dribble.

Good job it writes itself, cos that's all I got.


Hobo vs. Minotaur

that's all I got.

Spoon of Ploff

"Tell us how it is! Tell us how it is!!" Roars the crowd.

"I'll tell you how it is," says the man stepping forward, brushing Marmite crumbs from his lapel -

Spoon of Ploff


One of alternate universe CAB's most popular tags: "ITS JASON BUORNES FAUTL"


Film idea

Packing it in

Tells the stories of five movie tropes (A cop, an investigative journalist, a hitman, a bloodthirsty warlord and a politician)....packing it in.

e.g. the movie begins with the journalist discovering some piece of information that could lead to the downfall of society. Cut to nighttime, frantic music, the journalist in his office surrounded by white boards, newspaper cuttings and other ephemera. He is hunched over the typewriter, about to write.

He slouches off to the bedroom and goes to sleep.

e.g. A cop learns from his PI that a crime lord is due to make a big heist at Trump Towers. None of his colleagues believe this. Cut to nighttime, frantic music, the cop is staking out the building and sees a truck pull up in alleyway close by. Balaclava-clad men inside.

He slouches off to a doughnut joint up the street.

Shit Good Nose