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Rapey Tory MP #21512

Started by Blumf, May 17, 2022, 06:48:16 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

studpuppet

Quote from: Ferris on May 19, 2022, 11:31:18 AMPlus epstein and savile are dead, and einstein, ghislaine, rolf and brunel are now locked up so you're pretty safe around them these days. QED.

By the way, Rolf's been out for five years as well.

DJ Bob Hoskins

Quote from: JohnnyCouncil on May 18, 2022, 06:12:55 AMThe natural party of rapists.

"Not rapists, but #1 with rapists"



idunnosomename

Now he's served his sentence, Rolf could become a Tory MP. Plenty of life left in him yet!

Christ don't tempt the universe or we'll get Rolf Harris PM. Epic and legendary.

Can you tell what it is yet? It's a food bank

Blumf

Making those hoohoohaha sounds as he doodles Rolf-a-roos over the Good Friday Agreement.

Accidentally causes World War III when he visits Donbas and falls over, flinging Jake the Peg's third member into Russian territory. He refuses to break the illusion and admit its a false leg right up to the UN hearings as the nukes are flying.

"did you set foot in Russian territory despite sanctions?"
"I diddle-iddle-iddle did"

GoblinAhFuckScary

drop me megaton bomb, sport


Ferris


Johnny Yesno

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 20, 2022, 04:15:08 PMAccidentally causes World War III when he visits Donbas and falls over, flinging Jake the Peg's third member into Russian territory. He refuses to break the illusion and admit its a false leg right up to the UN hearings as the nukes are flying.

"did you set foot in Russian territory despite sanctions?"
"I diddle-iddle-iddle did"

A false leg operation.

idunnosomename

Say what you want, but an Australian entertainer in his early 90s who's been convicted of child sex abuse would be less shameful than our current prime minister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jittlebags

Urgh. Little bit of sick came up there.


Blue Jam

Nipplegate, as well as being another annoying misuse of the suffix -gate, does seem far too jokey a name for this. It trivialises what sounds like a scary experience and a lot of people being put in danger.

Quote from: jobotic on May 22, 2022, 10:38:35 PMThe Conservative Party needs an intervention

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy

Oh fucking hell. How long can they go on surviving all this?

Jollity

Buttery, creamy and sweet? It sounds as if he could be as easily distracted by a bag of Werther's Originals.

idunnosomename

Lock up everyone called Jonty

sevendaughters

I know this guy. Local music messageboard meff from the 00s. Back then he was an astrology crank. Said that the first time he goes to a restaurant he ignores the menu and asks for unseasoned eggs in order to assess the real quality of the chef. Wore a trilby and suit to local gigs. Most people tended to find him creepy, but I have never heard of any actual improrpriety.

He was always good value online for saying utterly batshit things, but most of them were harmless as detailed above. Considered himself of above average intelligence. Got into PUA, meninism, 'evo psych' (which is the context of the above tweet, not that it is a defence), and various other crackpottery. Was a Trumpist (I think he is Scottish and relocated in Preston in adulthood) and a Bozzer fan.

Ran for local council and county council several times but always in utterly unwinnable places like Plungington and Tulketh, so clearly not a rising star, rather he was meat in a suit.

I feel weird about this actually. He was my local moron that I checked in on. I also played a hand in breaking this, as I retweeted a small account that located it, which was picked up by some friends with lots of followers in the media and leftist politics. Turned into a major pile on and I don't think he is terrifically stable and may be another Cat Bin Lady.


pigamus


Pink Gregory


Paul Calf

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 22, 2022, 10:39:43 PMNipplegate, as well as being another annoying misuse of the suffix -gate, does seem far too jokey a name for this. It trivialises what sounds like a scary experience and a lot of people being put in danger.

Oh fucking hell. How long can they go on surviving all this?


"GetAwayFromMyGate(youfuckingnonce)"?

jobotic

Meanwhile Blunt is defending Khan again and Fabricant's latest wheeze to get noticed is to pretend that those who frown upon G___ drugging other MPs and sexually assaulting them are kink shamers.

JohnnyYen

Quote from: sevendaughters on May 23, 2022, 02:03:09 PMI know this guy. Local music messageboard meff from the 00s.

I know him too, from same place (although I might have met him IRL before that); agree with everything you just said. I've crossed paths with him a few times over the years (we might have city status but Preston is still basically a village) and never perceived him in as an IRL threat to anyone. Apart from anything else he had a stroke in his late teens/early 20s, so only has the use of one arm. All his schmoozing with Tories and masons doesn't seem to have helped him much either, last I heard he'd been sacked as a bookie's clerk for losing the keys, failed to get a telesales job, and is still in a house share in one of the crappier ends of town aged 46. You see him in one of my local haunts,  making one drink last for several hours. I do worry that this might pierce through his astounding self-delusion, and the shock of realising what a failure and laughing stock he is will send him off a bridge or into the loony bin.

On the other hand he's a Tory and he sniffs schoolgirls, so fuck him.

sevendaughters

Quote from: JohnnyYen on May 23, 2022, 03:28:24 PMfailed to get a telesales job

one for the desolation thread

JohnnyYen

Quote from: sevendaughters on May 23, 2022, 03:32:29 PMone for the desolation thread

It was a desperate place as well. People have turned up pissed to the interview and still got the job. They've called the interviewer "Cuntybollocks" and got a trial shift. Ten minutes with Jony and it was "don't call us..."

sevendaughters

Quote from: JohnnyYen on May 23, 2022, 03:46:12 PMIt was a desperate place as well. People have turned up pissed to the interview and still got the job. They've called the interviewer "Cuntybollocks" and got a trial shift. Ten minutes with Jony and it was "don't call us..."

Space Kitchens?

Martin Van Buren Stan

Quote from: jobotic on May 22, 2022, 10:38:35 PMThe Conservative Party needs an intervention

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy

Love how it says tweet on his account. Not tweet by him. Do they need to be THAT arse covery in case someone hacked his account and tweeted it?

PaulTMA

Quote from: sevendaughters on May 23, 2022, 02:03:09 PMI know this guy. Local music messageboard meff from the 00s. Back then he was an astrology crank. Said that the first time he goes to a restaurant he ignores the menu and asks for unseasoned eggs in order to assess the real quality of the chef. Wore a trilby and suit to local gigs. Most people tended to find him creepy, but I have never heard of any actual improrpriety.



Care to share any usernames/handles he used to go by?