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Big Babies - another infantile language thread

Started by Twonty Gostelow, May 23, 2022, 11:28:31 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Twonty Gostelow

Sorry, last thread is long gone and this just came with a new NatWest bank card and I had to get it off my chest.



Slightly overdrawn? No problem. Just kick back and relax as we do all the fee-taking for you, leaving you free to enjoy all the unicorn rides you want.  Ta-da!

madhair60

uh... okay...! I guess... sure! We're doin' that! Alright!!

the other day i said nominalisms are usually limited in practice and the policeman went "uwu" as he arrested me

shoulders

Just made me think of Frank Drebin calling that guy MISTER POOPY PANTS

mippy


Johnny Yesno

Quote from: mippy on May 24, 2022, 03:43:43 PMYou must find life very irritating.

Thanks for pointing out what the op was clearly implying.

Goldentony


The Mollusk


QDRPHNC

#8
Marketing - the department for people who "have a lot of ideas" but can't do strategy, planning or design.

That person who "quit" their "six figure job in the city" to "pivot" into marmalades? Marketer.

That person who "quit" their "six figure job in the city" to write a mystery novel? Marketer.

That person who "quit" their "six figure job in the city" to go into business for themselves as a copywriter and logo designer and brand ambassador and social media and content marketer and strategist and websites and influencer and mentor and speaker?

Marketer.

Edit: Sorry, not offence to any marketers present, I've just run into too many bad ones and I'm feeling punchy today.

Twonty Gostelow

Quote from: mippy on May 24, 2022, 03:43:43 PMYou must find life very irritating.
Ta-da! Here's my brand new reply to your post.

madhair60

Um... did anyone else see that? Okay? We're just gonna ignore it. Right. Whatever. No big deal!

QDRPHNC

A while ago I attended a seminar for "creating joyful experiences in design" which was exactly the kind of tepid shit it sounds like.

I won't say who and from what company was delivering the seminar, but they talked about users tweeting their "joy moment" when they reached this end of this particular process, and I couldn't help but think what kind of sad bastard would A. Find joy in any kind of online process, and B. Not see it as the transparent pandering focus-grouped shite that it is, and C. Publicly admit it to their friends.

It's idiocy like this that leads to things like Outlook underlining all instances of "congratulations" in an email and showering out some confetti when you roll over it, you know some Head of Marketing somewhere wanked themselves to sleep over that win.

tourism


QDRPHNC

oh, i don't know. I'm just very tired. I just want things to stop trying to be friends with me.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: QDRPHNC on May 24, 2022, 05:47:28 PMIt's idiocy like this that leads to things like Outlook underlining all instances of "congratulations" in an email and showering out some confetti when you roll over it, you know some Head of Marketing somewhere wanked themselves to sleep over that win.

I get annoyed that it puts a little palm tree in the calendar if you say you're on holiday. I suppose I could put 'Annual Leave' or 'AL' as I don't think it recognises that, but I think it's a weird term, I'm on holiday, doesn't matter if I'm still at home in my pants eating crisps... fuck off.

PaulTMA


Gurke and Hare

You should all write a poem about it and send it to the Derby Telegraph.

Cold Meat Platter

I TASTE BEST STRAIGHT FROM THE FRIDGE!

FIND ME IN THE CHEESE AISLE!

CUNT ME STRAIGHT INTO A SEWER YOU PAEDOPHILE!

DO YOU REALLY NEED TO EAT ME YOU FAT CUNT?

shoulders

Please read me: The suffering endured by the animal who used to inhabit this carcass is all the more palpable if product is nommed at dusk on a condemned jetty. Cheers

mippy

Quote from: madhair60 on May 24, 2022, 05:38:32 PMUm... did anyone else see that? Okay? We're just gonna ignore it. Right. Whatever. No big deal!

?

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: mippy on May 25, 2022, 09:02:58 AM?

The post originally contained a photo of an arse. Was only there for a minute.


Dex Sawash

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on May 25, 2022, 12:16:54 PMThe post originally contained a photo of an arse. Was only there for a minute.

I just assumed mh60 was doing an example of the things they say on tv shows that CaB is hating rn.

Would have liked to have seen someone's bottom though.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Dex Sawash on May 25, 2022, 01:44:30 PMI just assumed mh60 was doing an example of the things they say on tv shows that CaB is hating rn.

Would have liked to have seen someone's bottom though.

To be clear, there was no arse.  I assumed the original post contained something else but then was quickly edited.  I probably assumed wrongly. (Unless there really was an arse, but that'd make it a really good guess and my guesses are never that accurate.)

Oh, whoopsy daisy, one of CaB's silly devils only went and posted a picture of a nakey botty!

We're so very sorry that this happened and that poster is going to go to the naughty step, sit on their botty and think about what they've done.

CONSUME.

frajer

Sitting on your own bottom? God that's *umph* disgusting.

Icehaven

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 24, 2022, 11:45:15 PMYou should all write a poem about it and send it to the Derby Telegraph.

I remember when copy was mature
That was a long time ago I'm sure
Now it's as if we're all little kids
Language sure has hit the skids!
"Ta-da","heads-up","don't worry",no thanks!
I think I will change my bank
And I don't mean to sound too whiny
But debit cards aren't fucking shiny.

Quote from: Icehaven on May 25, 2022, 04:58:30 PMI remember when copy was mature
That was a long time ago I'm sure
Now it's as if we're all little kids
Language sure has hit the skids!
"Ta-da","heads-up","don't worry",no thanks!
I think I will change my bank
And I don't mean to sound too whiny
But debit cards aren't fucking shiny.

Good set to the melody of Elton John's Crocodile Rock.

Products being called Mmm...! and Yum! and So Good! was the beginning of the end of ordinary human dignity. See that? That's what your betters think of you. That's what they think the voice in your head sounds like.


jamiefairlie

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 25, 2022, 06:35:12 PMProducts being called Mmm...! and Yum! and So Good! was the beginning of the end of ordinary human dignity. See that? That's what your betters think of you. That's what they think the voice in your head sounds like.



And they were right