Coronation Street (fresh thread)

[Gulftastic]

I like how they are setting it up by making David almost as stupid as Tommy.

[The Masked Unit]

If they had a big tram crash style event in which several characters were wip[ed out at a stroke, who would you have on the chopping board? Tina and Tommeh would surely be first. Garry and Issy can fuck off 'n all. Ryan, obviously, but he's not been featuring prominently recently, and that whiny Manc bastard Sophie. I also wouldn't be disappointed to see the back of Fizz, who serves no purpose now Stape's gone.

[Thomas]

That Richard Madeley one, the con-artist one who's going out with Gail's mum.

I don't know all the character names.

[The Masked Unit]

Nah, he's always up to no good or at least you always know there's the possibility that he might be working on a scam at any point in time. Tina and Tommeh, on the other hand are complete non-entities.   

[Spiteface]

Tommeh, definitely get rid of him. At least Tina's easy on the eye.

[Morrison Lard]

I'm absolutely fed up of the Tina baby thing.
Every single character involved in that can get to fuck.

And if one preggo storyline wasn't enough, they've got David obsessing about getting Kylie up the duff.

Characters I wouldn't hesitate to have mercilessly slaughtered-

Tommy*
Ironside
Gary
Owen
Faye
The mum one who works in Roy's Rolls
David
Lloyd's ex who's now the Rovers head chef
Leanne
Sophie
The fireman
Dennis
Simon
Karl
Chesney
The Manc cunt factory LAD
Sunita
Michelle's son who isn't really her son


*Tina gets a stay of execution for a potential lezzing-up storyline.

Edit : forgot that dipshit headmaster and his boring missus

[The Masked Unit]

I'm finding it difficult to argue with any of your selections there. Owen is a complete cunt and has the potential to be a right nasty bastard, so he can stay. Agree fully with the rest of them though - non-entities each and every one. Rita's boring as fuck as well and doesn't even have the capacity for funny comments compared to say Emily. If it weren't for his current storyline with Liono, Tyronne could fuck off 'n all.

I do love Corrie but other than the God-awful pregnancy and domestic abuse storylines, both of which are very much outstaying their welcome, where the fuck is the next decent plot arc coming from? Nick and Kylie I suppose, plus Gail about to fuck Nigel Havers. I thought both Kev and Sophie were going to end up trying to bonk Lloyd's boring daughter for a while, but that seems to have petered off.

Speaking of which, how would we feel about Peter and Carla coming back? I think it'd be a bit of a welcome injection at the moment, especially if Peter goes off the rails, but surely they can't pull out that old chestnut yet again.

[Morrison Lard]

OH MY GAWWWD!

The must have toy for christmas this year!

Edit: Just bought the Mike Baldwin one.

[Spiteface]

The Manc cunt factory LAD

I wish that was his actual name.


_{I can't believe I'm posing in a Coronation Street thread. I feel dirty. The BAD kind of dirty.}

[Gulftastic]

The adverts for forthcoming Corrie adventures reveal that the Peter Barlow that returns is the one from the darkest timeline.

[Morrison Lard]

Great stuff.
I really enjoy watching the drunken-selfish-arsehole-PeterBarlow.

There's not much else they can really do with his character though, is there?

It would be nice if they write something more interesting than just him harping on about that bloody kid though.

[doppelkorn]

If they bring back drunk Peter we might get a re-run of the time he went on an awkward date with Michelle to a restaurant and was fantastically pissed throughout but had to try and hide it. Chris Gascoigne can really do that well.

[Madison]

i for one will never tire of the CHIP AND PIN storyline so enslaving Rita and the kabin krew. CHIP AND PIN - ITS THE FUTURE, SAYS NATIONWIDE CASHPOINTS

[Gulftastic]

The reaction in the Rovers to the reveal of Tina's surrogacy was ridiculous. It was as if they'd suddenly decided to set it in the 70's or something. Shock and outright horror. Surrogacy has been around for many, many years. It's hardly a scandal.

And Tina needs to dump David asap. What a tosser.

[Thomas]

I caught last night's episode, and I too thought there was something quite unrealistic about everybody's reaction to Tina's surrogacy. Next week, Sally and Norris are going to bury her under the cobbles with a stake through her heart.

[Brundle-Fly]

I'm absolutely fed up of the Tina baby thing.
Every single character involved in that can get to fuck.

And if one preggo storyline wasn't enough, they've got David obsessing about getting Kylie up the duff.

Characters I wouldn't hesitate to have mercilessly slaughtered-

Tommy*
Ironside
Gary
Owen
Faye
The mum one who works in Roy's Rolls
David
Lloyd's ex who's now the Rovers head chef
Leanne
Sophie
The fireman
Dennis
Simon
Karl
Chesney
The Manc cunt factory LAD
Sunita
Michelle's son who isn't really her son


*Tina gets a stay of execution for a potential lezzing-up storyline.

Edit : forgot that dipshit headmaster and his boring missus

Well that's pretty much the entire cast. Bring back Roy's mum, I say.  I agree about Dennis though. He doesn't seem to have the comedy chops to pull off this character, IMHO. He'd make a better villain with those Cenobite eyes.

[Brundle-Fly]

I wish that was his actual name.


_{I can't believe I'm posing in a Coronation Street thread. I feel dirty. The BAD kind of dirty.}

Who are we talking about here? Kirk?

[Sam]

I've divided the cast into four categories. May have forgotten a couple of people.

Tops, fucking great:

Steve, Lloyd, Norris, Roy, Mary, Ken, Dev

Fine:

Lewis, Rita, Brian & Julie, Deirdre, Kylie, Nick, Tyrone, Michelle, Emily, Owen & Anna, Rita, Peter & Carla, Tina, Fizz, Kirk, Hayley, Eileen & Paul

Fuck off:

The Websters, Sunita & kids, Kirsty, Chesney & Katie, Gary & Izzy, Tommy, Marcus, Liam, Simon, Lloyd's girlfriend and daughter, Leanne, Jason, Gail, Audrey, David

ARGGHHH:

Rob, Sean, Maria, Stella, Eva, Carl, Ryan

And Stella can extra fuck off for good measure.

Once you realise that Rob delivers every line in exactly the same way, with the exact same intonation at the end of the sentence, trust me, it will infuriate you forever. He has no range whatsoever. I can understand the character is meant to be smug and one dimensional, but surely the actor can speak in more than one way? It's a slight rise in pitch coupled with slowing down, giving the second half of every sentence a strange stress. Does anyone know what I mean?

Don't understand the harshness to Rita on here: for me she's the compassionate side of the show, the most decent and humane character and I think her taking Tina under her wing and ameliorating the latter's hot-headedness is rather sweet.

I'm glad Lewis is being devious again, he's a great addition to the show when he's in that mode. The cuntiness of Owen has always been nice too.

Oh and double fuck off to Ryan too, what an absolute shiny cuntstack of a shithead cunt he is. Christ!

[MuteBanana]

May have forgotten a couple of people.

Shame in you.


Good grouping there. Not much to disagree with. I'd put David Platt in the Fines at least though, maybe even Tops.

Modify.
Oh Rob has the worst voice in the show. I've been trying to find an example of what he reminds me of, it's been bugging me for a few weeks now. Him and Ryan are a total failure, they'll be gone in three months when the new producer starts.

[Gulftastic]

Eva is in the 'fines' for me. And not just for her massive tits. I think the actress is proving to be very good, and is able to do the style of comedy that Corrie requires with aplomb.

If they give her time, and plots other than her falling for the wrong bloke at the drop of a hat, I think she could go on to be a great character over the next few years.

[chocky909]

How could you not put Peter in the KILL catagory? He's the main reason I stopped watching Corrie about 6 months ago.

[Brundle-Fly]

Eva is in the 'fines' for me. And not just for her massive tits. I think the actress is proving to be very good, and is able to do the style of comedy that Corrie requires with aplomb.

If they give her time, and plots other than her falling for the wrong bloke at the drop of a hat, I think she could go on to be a great character over the next few years.

Agree. And I won't have Kirsty on the Fuck off list. Lion-O is a superb soap villain and played excellently.

[Gulftastic]

Top notch Corrie cobble-scrap tonight between Leanne and Carla. Both actresses were as good as always, but Alison King shaded it. She's so good at playing the hopeless alcoholic. You can see the vulnerability in her bravado.

[Sam]

I'm a bit behind and have just watched the scene where Fizz goes to confront Tyrone about what Kirsty did, after she had been taunted by her in the street.

The total self delusion that Tyrone is putting himself through, the way he has allowed himself to be manipulated and the way he has convinced himself that someone as well meaning as Fizz is to be rejected despite the enormous injustice of that, is all heartbreaking and harrowingly realistic.

I was impressed before at how Peter was destroying himself and the people he loved around him, and along with the Tyrone storyline I think it's two examples of human nature being written and acted out with genuine insight and nuance.

I can tolerate Kirsty so long as she gets her trademark comeuppance soon.

[Gulftastic]

Fantastic tonight. All based around the Lion O and Tirrone story with no filler whatsoever. The two leads both played a blinder, with Alan Halsall being particularly great. His final scene was marvellous.

[Morrison Lard]

It was good episode, I was hoping for a bit more brutality though.
Thought that wine-bottle-under-a-fiver would be wrapped round his head at some point.
*whallop*

[MuteBanana]

with Alan Halsall being particularly great. His final scene was marvellous.

He's been great since the Molly death/affair came out.

I honestly can't remember what Tyrone did before that storyline. He just pottered about with comedy romance plots and talking about dogs with Kirk.

[doppelkorn]

Him and Molly once drove a burger van on fire into a very shallow lake. I'd go so far as to call it a mere.

[Sam]

Norris: 'My foot arrangements are my own business and I'll thank you not to broadcast them to all and sundry'.

****

Beth: '...the damage our Craig did to my undercarriage!'

[Gulftastic]

Watching Lewis make Gail fall in love with him is fantastic. Now he's got Jack Meadows out off of The Bill involved! Gail is falling for it hook, line and sinker.