The Meg 2

[Butchers Blind]

I saw this advertised and thought it was just another Jason Punch-Kick film. Then found out it was directed by Ben Wheatley, which surprised me. Going for that sequel director for hire now.

[Goldentony]

I saw this advertised and thought it was just another Jason Punch-Kick film. Then found out it was directed by Ben Wheatley

shark takes mushrooms and bores holidaygoers to death about spacemen 3 in favour of trad. 'eating cunts'

[MoreauVasz]

Missed opportunity to have Statham declare that he's on probation.

[iamcoop]

Don't begrudge Wheatley getting a big payday, hopefully it'll allow him to make more good stuff.

Mind you this looks atrocious. Statham looks dead behind the eyes.

[SteveDave]

The ending will be disappointing then.

[13 schoolyards]

IIRC the first one was made just as Statham was about to give up acting all together - his career had been going steadily downhill, his last few films barely got cinema releases, he was openly complaining about the quality of the scripts and so on. For some reason the release was delayed six months or so, so it looked like it was going to be his final film, only it massively overperformed, was his biggest solo film in the US, and suddenly he had a career again (making sequels to his earlier films).

I suspect the success of the first one was a fluke and this will bomb, especially as the first one promised loads of people-getting-chomped-action and refused to deliver.

[beanheadmcginty]

You sure? He's been in every Fast and Furious since 6,and they've all been megablockbusters.

[13 schoolyards]

Yeah, it was in the gap between The Fate of the Furious (which could have been the end of him in the series) and Hobbs & Shaw - I reckon if The Meg hadn't made half a billion dollars they might have teamed the Rock up with someone else for that one.

If you look at his career since then, he's only ever done sequels or movies with Guy Ritchie. The days of him turning up yearly in yet another dodgy action thriller seem over, but I guess the man is in his mid-50s

[Magnum Valentino]

What was the standout line from the first one, something like "you may be a goddamn son of a bitch, but you're a hell of a boat captain" or something dazzlingly shit like that?

[Rodan]

I've seen the first film three times, remarkably, and enjoyed it. Worst bits were all the Chinese investment pandering stuffs and that annoying kid but everything else was great. Total junk but very tasty.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I'd echo that, wasn't expecting much and not everything works, but the action sequences are frequent and very silly and I came out of the cinema glad I'd gone to see it.

[JesusAndYourBush]

I quit watching the first one after literally 5 minutes because the actors were delivering their lines in such a wooden fashion I couldn't bear another minute of it.

[Helvetica Scenario]

Statham looks dead behind the eyes.

...like a doll's eyes.

[Butchers Blind]

I'm amazed at the career of Statham because outside of the punching and kicking he's clearly no good at the acting.

[13 schoolyards]

He was pretty decent being funny in Spy, but for various Hollywood reasons that one never got a sequel despite being a hit.

Generally speaking he seems willing to do enough acting to get by and not much more, which doesn't mean he can't be effective. In Wrath of Man he spends the opening third or so giving his usual bare minimum killbot effort, then the film kicks in a lengthy flashback where he displays a few minor emotions and while nobody'll be sending an Oscar his way for it, the way it contrasts with (and explains) what we've already seen from him works pretty well.

[dead-ced-dead]

I think The Stath is a fairly effective performer. His skill set is limited, but he's a good comedian and as 13 Schoolyards says, he's willing to do enough that material requires and no more.

He's quite moving in Hummingbird.

[greenman]

Last couple of Richie films with him I felt were pretty decent, nothing exceptional but certainly watchable.

[Oh, Nobody]

first one was a fluke

nah it was a megalodon

[checkoutgirl]

What was the standout line from the first one, something like "you may be a goddamn son of a bitch, but you're a hell of a boat captain" or something dazzlingly shit like that?

He was a second rate captain, but a first rate second course.

[checkoutgirl]

I've seen the first film three times, remarkably

For Christ sake why?

[curiousoranges]

2 Meg 2 Megaverse

[Frances Found]

For some reason I've just watched Meg Up 2 the Streets and the best part is the villain's monologue ending with them saying something like 'and if you ask me what about the ecosystem? I say who cares?'. Might as well have finished with 'simples'.

[Edgar Balloon III]

I only remember two things about The Meh (I meant to put Meg there, but my phone put Meh instead, and that's a better title) which are:

1. It was shit.

2. It opened with several establishing shots of Shanghai and a caption that said Shanghai - only to then move to a completely different location and for none of the film to be set in Shanghai. It was like the film randomly wanted to remind you there's a place in the world called Shanghai. I spent the rest of the film waiting for the action to move to the coastal city of Shanghai (its name literally means 'on sea') but it never happened.

[Rodan]

I only remember two things about The Meh (I meant to put Meg there, but my phone put Meh instead, and that's a better title) which are:

1. It was shit.

2. It opened with several establishing shots of Shanghai and a caption that said Shanghai - only to then move to a completely different location and for none of the film to be set in Shanghai. It was like the film randomly wanted to remind you there's a place in the world called Shanghai. I spent the rest of the film waiting for the action to move to the coastal city of Shanghai (its name literally means 'on sea') but it never happened.

Cynical China-friendly elements to court that market, innit. They don't want to see SH or Chinese people get fucked up by a shark, though.

[Keebleman]

I like to go to the cinema on my birthday, so a few years ago (my 50th) I went to see the Meg.  What a shit treat I had treated myself to!  I remember thinking this is the sort of film that could put people off ever going to the cinema again, and indeed my movie going has tailed off hugely in the last 5 years, though of course Covid was a major factor too.

I will be 55 in a few days.  I will not go and see the Meg 2.  (In fact I intend seeing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which I have never seen and which is having a one off screening in a cinema close to me.  I just need to persuade someone to come with me so I don't look a total fucking nonce.)

Edit: Found my original post:

It was my birthday last week and I like to celebrate on the day itself by going to the pictures at least twice, three times if I can.

This year I saw The Incredibles 2 which I loved.  I followed it with this.  Utter, utter shit, the sort of film which could put someone off ever going again to see a mainstream Hollywood movie.  It had nothing, no wit, no excitement, no scares.  The spectacle was well done but nothing that we haven't all seen many, many times over the past 25 years.

One point of interest though was the amount of effort to make the film palatable to Chinese audiences.  The leading lady was Chinese and so were many key supporting characters, all of them goodies.  There was a fair bit of dialogue in Chinese as well, and the movie was set just off the coast of Shanghai.

[beanheadmcginty]

I've got a theory that Ben Wheatley only directed the second half of this film, such is the yawning gulf in enjoyment between the first hour and the second hour of this. I mean, the whole thing is completely shit, but at least there was some fun to be had when they arrive at what is literally called "Fun island".

[Goldentony]

fell out over whether the end should be a big explosion or the shark having its weird walk subscription cancelled

[dissolute ocelot]

It's essentially the same problem as Aquaman. You can put a few desperate people in the sea and have them menaced by a shark, but they're completely fucked and there's no credible way they can kill the shark. Otherwise, the shark has to come out onto land, which only really works in Viz.

[Famous Mortimer]

I just watched what I christened "Mega Shark vs. Giant Squid", the sort of movie the Asylum would make if they had $100 million.

It's fun! Absolute rubbish, of course, but that's par for the course with these giant monster B-movies. Jing Wu (the lead for the Chinese market) looks like he was given as many heroic moments as the Stath, but the stuff he did seemed more suicidal than anything else, as he kept throwing himself off very high things to fight a giant shark armed with little more than a pointed stick. Page Kennedy feels like he was directed to act and speak like he was the stereotypical black sidekick in an 80s action movie, but Statham gives the impression of only being there for the paycheck.

The bit where Statham gave the shark an assist by kicking the bad guy into its mouth was easily my favourite part of the movie. Fantastic stuff. And we get a cast-member-performed rap song about sharks over the end credits!

When I saw Ben Wheatley's name at the end, I was surprised all over again. Not sure if he's going to turn into a "one for them, one for me" sort of director, but I hope this isn't his entire future. 

[madhair60]

shut up, Meg