My big idea: Snooze kiosks

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

This idea occured to me when i had to go to Liverpool on Monday to get a new passport and found myself almost too shattered to function, having had only 1 hours kip the night before. I also had a huge wait between my intitial appointment and getting my passport issued, and somehow had 5-6 hours of utter shatteredness to kill before i could return to the office again.

Obviously i did consider having a snooze in a public/highstreet toilet, but the one i went into had regular spot checks every hour, so apparently taking time out from your busy schedule in a public bathroom makes you a dirty 'vagrant' now. Cuh.

Of course this sort of dilemma could easily be solved by booking into the nearest travellodge for a nights stay. But i dont want a full night's sleep, I want to have a light snooze and to be charged accordingly. Sadly this is something the hotel industry seems reluctant to cater for. But of course they shouldnt have to, needing a snooze is a basic bodily requirement. This is a civic need, not a commercial one. We need to look to our councils for what to do next, and to those local councils i propose the following: Snooze Kiosks. A concept so simple even a child could grasp it.

For those who need it spelling out however, the concept is this - take the basic design of a coin operated city centre toilet and expand its limited dimensions to include a small mattresss and pillow. You pay for how long you sleep. And you pay 1 pound per hour at the standard rate. Simple! Now you will never have to worry again about getting nocturnally caught short ever again! Dont call me a visionary, im just a guy who saw something that needed puttin' right.

[purlieu]

I wouldn't want to use a bed that any Tom, Dick or Harry could use!  URGH!

Or something.

[mook]

Right, so this kiosk will, at your reckoning generate a maximum of £24 per day. I'm estimating that they would cost £6000-£8000 at least to construct, probably far more really. So when you factor in that it would need to be cleaned after each customer, which would take say 15 minutes, which even at minimum wage your idea is operating at a loss from the get go. Buy a fucking tent you tool, and stop trying to put up my Council Tax.

[Pedro_Bear]

These exist in Japan, they've become known as Love Hotels. They're used for discreet fucking nowadays, but originally they were set up for a quick snooze.

[boxofslice]

Only works if you're within airport distance.

http://www.yotel.com/

[Desi Rascal]

Thoes Verbwhore alternative suggestions in full
  just lock yourself in a disabled toilet,
  break into someones house,
  offer to cut wood in exchange for bed
  wrestle a tramp for park bench
  paint some eyes on a pair of glasses
 

[ThickAndCreamy]

I'm afraid, like what Cack Hen stated they already exist so your idea is stolen.
To prove it, Michael Palin in 1980's Japan slept in one in around the world in 80 days. Here's a youtube video of someone copying his adventure and it shows the sleeping area quite well here.
However this video of a man walking around the capsule hotel and describing it is better.

Capsule hotels are fucking perfection, I wish they had them in the UK for they are absolutely perfect in every way imaginable. Like an intimate hostel without the drunken Kenyans and with a television at a lower price. Also that underwear vending machine looks brilliant and I absolutely adore Japan for many aspects. A*

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

Right, so this kiosk will, at your reckoning generate a maximum of £24 per day. I'm estimating that they would cost £6000-£8000 at least to construct, probably far more really. So when you factor in that it would need to be cleaned after each customer, which would take say 15 minutes, which even at minimum wage your idea is operating at a loss from the get go. Buy a fucking tent you tool, and stop trying to put up my Council Tax.

It's a lighthearted joke/bit of whimsy, not a formal council proposal you bellend. Woops, mistook this for a comedy forum again!

[Uncle TechTip]

37 quid for four hours (minimum stay) in the cheapest 'pod' at the Yohotel bollocks in Heathrow. A bargain i'msureyou'llagree. Why not just kip on the metal benches like what you see on the news when there's a baggage handlers' strike?

SWP - That's how mook does 'lighthearted'. Double-CaBed!

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

I think this could work, I have often had this very thought while at work. If I really needed it I'd pay a fiver.

[biggytitbo]

Two words - Hammocks

[chocky909]

A fiver? You've got to charge at least a tenner. I'd suggest £14.95 for the first hour and £9.95 for each additional hour. Perhaps once you've been in there over 5 or so hours you pay a flat rate up to a maximum of 12 hours.

[Fry]

We totally have a thread for this sort of thing already:

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=19838.0

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Two words - Hammocks

Yeah. Hammocks rock.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Yeah. Hammocks rock.

Literally.

(or was that the joke?)

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I meant it in both senses. Some of the best nights' sleep I've had were in my hammock. I've often thought about getting rid of my bed and using the hammock all the time.

[ThickAndCreamy]

Where is this hammock located?

[biggytitbo]

Where is this hammock located?

Between two trees obviously!

[ThickAndCreamy]

But I presume you live in the UK, sleeping outside for seem preposterous to me without a tent or a massive cover!

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

Why is sleeping in public such a huge faux pas anyway? I mean if i want to put my head down and have a little sleep in costa coffee, then why the hell not? Oh yeah, it's that whole 'vagrant' stigma again isnt it. Thanks vagrants.

[ThickAndCreamy]

I would only be fearful of the bitter cold or horrid winds associated with sleeping outside in the UK, otherwise I'm sure tramps would be forever ecstatic towards the idea of going to sleep at night.

[Desi Rascal]

 have you tried mixing pva glue with fishpaste, smearing it on your face and lying down near a hungry cat? any passers by will assume you are being attacked by a rabid cat a shy away, by the time the cat works itself free you'll of bagged yourself a refreshing nap and be ready to face thje challenge of the day.

[Lee Van Cleef]

Incidentally, what's the process for getting a passport quickly?  The passport website isn't particularly clear to me (because I'm special).

[ThickAndCreamy]

Incidentally, what's the process for getting a passport quickly?  The passport website isn't particularly clear to me (because I'm special).

Phone up and arrange a meeting in specific passport offices for as soon as possible. It will cost an extra £40, you turn up to the offices give in some forms and return in 4 hours time to collect your new passport.

I used the service about 2 months ago as I needed a passport to go to Belgium and it worked rather well really.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

But I presume you live in the UK, sleeping outside for seem preposterous to me without a tent or a massive cover!

Well I've only tried it during the summers when it's been stiflingly hot. If I was going to make the hammock a permanent fixture, I'd hang it indoors.

[MuteBanana]

For not being an inconvenience, to snooze in a kiosk should be free.  Also no bed or mattress, it should be chairs - leather, wood and...soft.  Means people keep their clothes on and less chance of catching something.

[23 Daves]

Only works if you're within airport distance.

http://www.yotel.com/

Yep, I was going to mention these, because my wife was once ill at an airport and the night flight we were supposed to catch was delayed by five hours.  I decided she'd be better off in a bed for that time rather than sitting around a busy airport terminal, and managed to find a "snooze booth" for her.  It wasn't that cheap, though.

[Danger Man]

These exist in Japan, they've become known as Love Hotels. They're used for discreet fucking nowadays, but originally they were set up for a quick snooze.

Actually, they are called 'hotels'.  'Love Hotels' is, generally speaking, the name given to them by non-Japanese.

You use context to work out if the person is referring to a 'hotel' or a 'hotel'.

i.e. "You are really cute and are giving me the fucking horn...let's go to a hotel'"

"I went sightseeing in Kyoto and stayed at a nice hotel near a temple".

Hotel names are also a giveaway. 'Park Hyatt'. Hotel. 'Pink Pussycat'. Hotel.

A woman would never ever say 'Let's go to a hotel' unless she was your mum a maniac. She'd say (assuming the date finished late in the evening) "I'm not tired" and/or "I don't feel like going home"

Kind of like 'Fancy a coffee?' in English.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Where is this hammock located?

What you really mean is "How close to ESSEX is this hammock located?".

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Also, they have hotels like this in America as well, they're always mentioning them in SVU as hotels prostitutes go to with cleints, as denoted by the words "they charge by the hour" (in reference to the hotel, not the prostitutes).