The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[ASFTSN]

seem to remember a parrot surgery man on jeremy kyle yeaaaarrs ago

kyle was somewhat unexpectedly enthusiastic like 'YA KNOW WHAT MATE? GOOD FOR YOU MATE GIV 'IM A ROUND OF APPLAUSE'

My mind's filling in the details of him fluffing up his feathers and preening bashfully, don't wanna look it up, I'll only be disappointed.

[pigamus]

I think he put the kettle on if I remember rightly

[Glebe]

A mate is regularly chucked out of bed to the sofa by his wife because of his foul pumps (and they have a tendency to linger as well - almost like they stick to the surroundings)

[SpiderChrist]

As an England fan obviously I've been aware I can go fuck a horse in its bumhole for most of my life - we all have, it's goes with the territory. But this is the first time I've thought "Yeah, maybe the time is right. Maybe it is coming home and I'm going to go fuck a horse in its bumhole".

[jenna appleseed]

I was just thinking about how cool it is that Glinner had a guy on one of his Zoom calls with Helen Penis and Farty who got a bit flustered and said "I didn't come here for bigotry". It's like wandering around Topps Tiles like "what the fucks all these tiles doing here"

[Huxleys Babkins]

buzby predicted this.

Yet did nothing.

[Dex Sawash]

lol mandm

[Barry Admin]

Christopher Whitty earns £200k+ per year. What do you think these lads can offer him on top of that? A blowie, with eye contact? We've established he doesn't care for hugs.

[gmoney]

Shoulders questions the integrity of the bloke who balanced 5 M&Ms on top of each other.

Just like varnishing and cooking conkers, I bet this cunt bent the rules, bet he drove a coach and horses through then. Filed some of the sides flatter, made them stickier in the heat. The little worm. The scrubber. The disease.

[Ferris]

From the "inept film posters" thread

"Pinocchio, what do you think of this poster you're in?"

"It's fantastic!"

[Glebe]

Thanks Ferris mate!

[buttgammon]

Severn Trent's overly familiar emails calling you a "watery hero" just for not dragging out a paddling pool full of pre-cum onto the patio or personally going round Somalia smashing up drinking wells.

Ooh someone's been having a few cheeky ice lollies! x x x Your water supplier (that's right *blushes* we're yours)

A plumber arrives for cuddles. He drinks all of your gold leaf cappuccino Yazoo. A marble quartz string quartet parps "Theme from Captain Pugwash" night and day.

Your toilet blocks, a wedding gown is found stuffed in the U-bend. MARRY US, BABE on the card when Greggs delivers a pork loaf reservoir filled with banana go-gurt.

Deso gold from Greg Torso!

[machotrouts]

Here's a photo of my dead granddad, if any of you need it for anything.

That's no age.

[Paul Calf]

^ XD

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Heheh

[imitationleather]

Yeah that made me giggle too.

[Kankurette]

If I don't open tomorrow's Guardian Sport supplement and see a headline stating that the Swiss team have all killed themselves I am going to be pissed off.

Fortunately Dignitas have branches all over the country.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Italy V Belgium

Gonna go firebomb a Papa Johns.

[ProvanFan]

Buxton did feature Torville and Dean

I was already aware, but seeing it again as this gentle rebuttal got me

[idunnosomename]

[PlanktonSideburns]

Thought that was one of those AI things for a second

[Blue Jam]

Pobnob

[pigamus]

Your dad is on Top of the Pops wearing leather trousers and singing a power-ballad about a goose.

Caught me off guard

[jobotic]

They Burn Jawas, Don't They?

[non capisco]

^ The OP and first few follow up posts from Jerzy Bondov in that Jawa burning thread are really bloody funny.

He just stands there with his hoodie up watching them. Lazy old bastard.

[Kankurette]

James TC on Glinner:

His brother eats nothing but pasta apparently.

Where did that inbred rottweiler come from originally?

[jenna appleseed]

Where did that inbred rottweiler come from originally?

What Hans?

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,74802.0.html

[jenna appleseed]

This

I remember it well, as well as his scathing song:

So Uncle Albert took you by surprise
You better see right through that dipstick's eyes
Trigger was right when he said you was dead
The one mistake you made was in the Nag's Head
How do you sleep?
How do you sleep at night?
You live with plonkers who tell you, you was king
Jump when Mickey Pearce tell you anything
The only thing you sold was hooky bought
And since you've gone you're just another sort

[Replies From View]

Did that come before or after McCartney singing "we're so sorry, Uncle Albert"?

[jenna appleseed]

Did that come before or after McCartney singing "we're so sorry, Uncle Albert"?

Can't get over the fact that song being in Only fools was real and not a Cab matter of fact deso meme.