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March 29, 2024, 07:54:54 AM

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In praise of Otex

Started by pancreas, November 11, 2021, 10:53:32 AM

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Butchers Blind

Bathe in a bath of hot Otex for an hour. You'll find wax seeping out of orifices unexpected.

Take two bottles into the shower?


gilbertharding

I was watching this:


Look at the size of that! She virtually needs two hands to hold it!!

Jack Shaftoe

As an avid reader of this thread, you can imagine how excited I am to have just been told by my GP that my right lughole is completely blocked with wax - I went in thinking it was an inner ear issue, as the last time I saw a GP I was declared wax free. She said to use olive oil for a couple of weeks then pop back in if it hasn't cleared and she'll book me in for a good syringing, but there's a local place which does it, so I might just go there.

I'm way too excited about this. Also weird as I don't have any hearing issues that I'm aware of, so maybe when they hoik the gunk out my true powers will be revealed and I'll be like Daredevil.

King Gizard

#124
...

Alberon

My local GPs have stopped doing syringing so I used to go to Specsavers instead, but with a recent blocked ear I couldn't get any appointments anywhere.

Finally found a woman working out of her own home. Took half an hour of vacuuming and syringing but I finally got relief and for only £40.











Then I went and got my ear done!

Jack Shaftoe

Quote from: H-O-W-L on January 18, 2022, 11:17:28 AMI've got a fucking eustachian tube blockage atm because of my cunt sinuses. Normally clears on its own but there's fuck-all you can do. Already Otex'd and hot-water'd my ears to fuck.

Sorry, I know this was ages ago, if you get this again, get the Otovent Adult Autoinflation Device thing off amazon (not as rude as it sounds). You blow up a small balloon, then put it to your nose and it equalises the pressure. Doesn't feel like much at the time, but gradually it helps the stuff drain away properly, it's amazing. Also the YouTube videos are accidentally quite funny.

H-O-W-L

Appreciate the thought! Though me fucking about with that ended up giving me a massive ear infection (and all-out viral infection) that fucked me over and genuinely damaged all the nerves in the right side of my head. So I've deigned to just not fuck about with my ears (fingers or otherwise) henceforth.



Jack Shaftoe

#130
Syringing booked for Friday morning, lads. Putting olive oil in my right ear morning and evening, like some strange religious ritual to prepare me for the transcendent moment to come, where the unblocking will let my soul emerge fresh and new into the light (might be mixing it up with trepanning actually).

Dex Sawash

I reckon ears get blocked up with loads of tiny aliens and here is some compelling evidence

Spoiler alert
[close]

PlanktonSideburns

Winter is coming, which means I'll probably get blocked ears soon- can't wait

Ferris

My hearing is pretty good (to the point that people remark upon it), but I've never done a syringing.

As @Jack Shaftoe says - will I become Daredevil? Did he become Daredevil? Could we all become Daredevil? Why was did a blind chap pick the superhero name Daredevil?

We demand answers.

Had to have the old lugs washed out a couple of years back after about a week of semi-deafness, and for an hour or two afterwards it was like having some kind of bat-like super-hearing. I could actually hear my clothes rustling as I walked down the street, and the sound of the indicators in the car was deafening - CLICK-CLUNK-CLICK-CLUNK. So there's probably only a window of an hour or two to perform any feats requiring great acuity in the hearing department before the humdrum reality of the normal human range of hearing is restored.

olliebean

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on September 28, 2022, 12:13:48 AMHad to have the old lugs washed out a couple of years back after about a week of semi-deafness, and for an hour or two afterwards it was like having some kind of bat-like super-hearing. I could actually hear my clothes rustling as I walked down the street, and the sound of the indicators in the car was deafening - CLICK-CLUNK-CLICK-CLUNK.


Jack Shaftoe

#136
Hmm, my appointment's 10.30, takes half an hour to walk back home, looks like I'll have super-hearing for maybe another 90mins after that. I live in a very small town but I reckon that's long enough to pose moodily on the clock tower and solve some street crimes, then it'll wear off just in time for me not to be deafened by the bongs.

In other news, I'm getting a bit bored of having olive oil in my right ear the whole time, but hopefully it's working its oily magic ready for Friday.

Jack Shaftoe

Quote from: Ferris on September 27, 2022, 09:43:46 PMMy hearing is pretty good (to the point that people remark upon it), but I've never done a syringing.

As @Jack Shaftoe says - will I become Daredevil? Did he become Daredevil? Could we all become Daredevil? Why was did a blind chap pick the superhero name Daredevil?

We demand answers.

I believe Matt Murdoch took the name 'Daredevil' having been inspired by a circus performer he saw with his dad when he was younger, and hadn't yet been blinded by the radioactive waste that also gave him his powers. Also he's a devout Catholic, so his alter ego being a 'devil' let him work out his religious angst or something.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Jack Shaftoe on September 27, 2022, 11:44:45 AMSyringing booked for Friday morning, lads. Putting olive oil in my right ear morning and evening, like some strange religious ritual to prepare me for the transcendent moment to come, where the unblocking will let my soul emerge fresh and new into the light (might be mixing it up with trepanning actually).

Christ I'm jealous. Pics of the aftermath pls.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Alberon on September 26, 2022, 01:35:01 PMFinally found a woman working out of her own home. Took half an hour of vacuuming and syringing but I finally got relief and for only £40.











Then I went and got my ear done!

How does one become a freelance ear cleaner (not a euphemism)?

I really should have been an audiologist or ENT specialist. I bloody love cleaning ears.

Jack Shaftoe

The blurb on my local Ear Care Centre (every town should have one) says they're all 'experienced nurses', so I guess you have to have a nursing degree. I reckon you could skip that by displaying sheer enthusiasm though.

gilbertharding

Everyone talks about the super bionic hearing you seem to have after a good clear-out, but the other phenomenon I remember is imagining (it can't be real, right?) I could feel a cool breeze on the inside of my skull.

When's your appointment @Jack Shaftoe?

Jack Shaftoe

Just had it! I have to be honest and say it was satisfying rather than a transcendental experience, but the nice lady did sluice a load of stuff out of my ear and into a cup and let me look afterwards. I've been putting olive oil in every morning and evening for the last four days, so it was all a bit 'mushy' (her technical term), but you could see a big pea-shaped lump, which I enjoyed.

Lovely lying back and hearing/feeling the warm water slooshing around right up to the eardrum though. Can definitely hear better out of that ear, but I wasn't experiencing hearing problems before particularly, so nothing dramatic.

Apparently the skin on the inside of my ear has had hard wax on it so long it's all white and weird, like when your fingers go pruney in the bath, but it should be better in a couple of days.

8/10, £45, would syringe again.


PlanktonSideburns

Its that time of year again - bought myself a new blaster, and it came with a funny little twisty ear shovel thing - its got two paddles made of soft silicone which you can twist in your ear post blast to tease out some hot gunk without pressing on the drum so much - total game changer

Blue Jam

Sounds orgasmic:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-63599329

Now where can I get a "home endoscope kit" please?


Blue Jam