New Kunt and the Gang bid for Xmas No.1 to be downloaded today the 17th

[crankshaft]

Rather wonderfully, Kunt has touched a nerve with LadBaby.

https://www.nme.com/news/music/ladbaby-hit-out-at-the-kunts-in-festive-chart-battle-3124691

It just makes me hate him even more. He won't say a word about the causes of food banks, and won't dare alienate his audience by criticising Johnson, but he wants his fourth #1 SO BADLY that he's fine with having a go at Kunt's audience. And this from a man who monetises his own children to keep his shitty brand going.

[idunnosomename]

LadBaby is a fucking cunt

[Butchers Blind]

Has this LadBaby actually shown any anger towards the situation that families have to rely on food banks to feed themselves because of policies of this government? Or is it all the soft touch with YT likes and smiley faces?

[crankshaft]

Has this LadBaby actually shown any anger towards the situation that families have to rely on food banks to feed themselves because of policies of this government? Or is it all the soft touch with YT likes and smiley faces?

Of course he fucking hasn't.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/dec/20/ladbaby-i-love-sausage-rolls-christmas-no-1-charity-food-banks

Of the new Conservative administration, Hoyle said: "I'm sure they're gonna do a great job." Pressed on whether a government that introduced austerity would do anything to mitigate the issue of food poverty, he said that the nation had to have faith that "the right people" had been voted in. He declined to state who he had voted for, but clarified that he had voted, and that it was important to do so.

[idunnosomename]

I think to be fair to him he is just a fucking idiot who thinks hes doing something unassaillably good ("for charridy") and these meanies are ruining it. Basically the sort of Great British mindset the Conservative party and press engender in their whole policies of artificial scarcity and demonising minorities to keep the status quo

If you want to make money for charity doing it via singles chart is not the way to do it. Especially if it's a shit song no one wants to hear.

I think this year the choice of song this year might do LadBaby in, the others are all covers of classic catchy songs, this isnt based on anything good (whereas Kunt has gone the other way)

[boki]

LadBaby has Elton John and Ed Sheerhan on his song and is still rattled by a minor internet hit singer who can't even be mentioned pre-watershed for obvious reasons.  How insecure is this guy?

[SteveDave]

I've just looked at LadBaby's Twitter having never previously cared about his existence. He and his wife appear to suffer from Moran Mouth where every photo is them showing their uvula.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

And as Kunt rightly pointed out, single sales are a tiny fraction of what they used to be, so the actual achievement of getting an Xmas No. 1 is vastly diminished compared to the status it once held. This cunt (not Kunt) is essentially exploiting that to get to the top the charts year after year, and despite the charity pre-text he comes across entirely self-serving, he doesn't actually care about genuinely ending foodbanks as he's riding a gravy train off the back of them. Utterly cynical and a wanker.

[Consignia]

Just spotted this gushing article about how LadBaby is the protest single against 11 years of Tory government: https://metro.co.uk/2021/12/22/christmas-number-one-hating-on-ladbaby-is-a-bad-look-15804368/#metro-comments-container . No mention of Kunt of course. Nor really how much money is raised for charity, but it does appear to be a paltry amount just as Kunt suggests.

[mothman]

I've punted 59 of your English pence toward this. Haven't actually listened to it but I'm sick to death of the other twat and his moronic sausage roll songs.

[idunnosomename]

The babiest of Lads is very canny about how much he raises. this from the big issue last year

How much have you managed to raise with these songs?

The first song the first year was the equivalent of 70,000 emergency food parcels. The second was more than that. But obviously, the money this year goes not only to food parcels but actually keeping the food banks open. That's been part of the struggle this year. So we want to raise more than ever before.

I do wonder if he's pushing a single "emergency food parcel" as like one person per day.

I have as combined sales for last year 116k.

generally it looks like he might make about a few hundred thousand a year, and of course he gets to put that through his tax as a donation

what does it matter if he doesn't make no.1? money still goes to charity? is that what it's about, really??!

[SteveDave]

Beautiful shot back

https://twitter.com/brooza664/status/1473741021741727754?s=21

[matjam13]

From @Chartupdate on Twitter:
No.1 race update (the final official one):

Sadbaby top 100,000 sales, now more than double Ed n Elton in second place.

The Kunts down at No.10 as the highest new entry.

It's over. Get busy speculating which of Mariah or Wham will be top next week.

[oggyraiding]

What's the target audience for LadBaby? I understand he's popular, but I've never met a single human being who admits to liking him. Is it all just one big hoax? I met him and thought he was a cunt, but this was before he was super famous so I imagine he's more of a cunt now.

[JaDanketies]

I today got the Petrol Bastard one. Never could get into Kunts.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

love this

[Catalogue Trousers]

What's the target audience for LadBaby? I understand he's popular, but I've never met a single human being who admits to liking him. Is it all just one big hoax? I met him and thought he was a cunt, but this was before he was super famous so I imagine he's more of a cunt now.

Well, there's the 'lad' market. The loud, lairy self-appointed wits of the workplace - male and female - who think that crap wordplay about sausage rolls is, like, the funniest thing ever apart from a carrot shaped like a big cock. The people who like to think that they're good people because they've given something to charidee and not had to really think about it.

Morons, basically. Sadly there's a lot of 'em about, and Ladbaby has figured out how to monetise them.

[idunnosomename]

I think he's monetised being a lad with a baby. You might thinking having a baby was a bit gay, but LadBaby does things like makes cots out of old Stella cans and tgat. With all the sausage rolls he feeds his kids he going to be making coffins for them soon.

[Fambo Number Mive]

From @Chartupdate on Twitter:
No.1 race update (the final official one):

Sadbaby top 100,000 sales, now more than double Ed n Elton in second place.

The Kunts down at No.10 as the highest new entry.

It's over. Get busy speculating which of Mariah or Wham will be top next week.

I know nothing about the charts but on the boris johnson info site it says we have until 23:59 today - so why is it over according to the @Chartupdate tweet? Sorry am confused.

[ajsmith2]

From @Chartupdate on Twitter:
No.1 race update (the final official one):

Sadbaby top 100,000 sales, now more than double Ed n Elton in second place.

The Kunts down at No.10 as the highest new entry.

It's over. Get busy speculating which of Mariah or Wham will be top next week.

Is it? This band approved Rage Against The Machine Twitter account just told me it's at No.2. There's still 6 hours left to download it too:

https://twitter.com/ratm/status/1474058945815842831?s=21

[idunnosomename]

That account got Killing in the Name to win a Twitter poll of fav Xmas no 1 ever the other week, beating 2 Become 1, which was quite impressive.

Hope yet. Will be absolutely beautiful in the LadBaby is destroyed

[Fambo Number Mive]

Kunt outside Number 10 advertising his song.



Statement from The Kunts in reply to LadBaby:

...In a statement shared with The Independent, The Kunts confirmed that they had made large donations to MIND and Cardiac Risk in the Young following the success of their song "Boris Johnson is a F***ing C***" in last year's Christmas No 1 race. They said that they chose to donate like this rather than releasing a "charity single" to cut out "the large percentage accrued by record companies, sales platforms like Amazon and Apple, management, marketing and PR".

"As regards Mark Hoyle's comments that 'it takes a certain sort of person to download a song with that in the title', I agree with him wholeheartedly," they said. "It takes the sort of person that is prepared to look beyond the tepid diarrhoea that is pumped into people's consciousness via mainstream TV, radio and the tabloid newspapers.

"The sort of person that is prepared stand up for what they believe in and call out the government on their lies, cover-ups and corruption. The sort of person who can see that it was the Conservatives' politics of selfishness, misery and deprivation that caused this country to need food banks in the first place."...

They continued: "We may be vulgar in the language we use to get our point across but we would not be so vulgar as to use food banks to hawk records, increase our profile or sign lucrative sponsorship deals. Let me be clear, we would not stoop to using poverty, hunger and despair to promote our career like we believe LadBaby have done in this year's Christmas number one campaign."

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/ladbaby-christmas-number-1-the-kunts-b1980789.html

It says a lot about the Labour Party that the bloke who sang "Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore" is doing more to be critical of the Prime Minister than the Leader of the Opposition.

[Sebastian Cobb]

That reply has really endeared me to them tbh.

Despite loving purile shite, there's always been something that I haven't been able to put my finger on that has made Kunt fall a little flat with me (less good version of pitman or glc, but also not managing to make it look quite so effortless). That response is 100% great though.

[matjam13]

Is it? This band approved Rage Against The Machine Twitter account just told me it's at No.2. There's still 6 hours left to download it too:

https://twitter.com/ratm/status/1474058945815842831?s=21

That would be the iTunes charts where it's no.2

[Satchmo Distel]

It won't make the Top 10 in the official chart because the Spotify streams will crush it, I fear.

[imitationleather]

It won't make the Top 10 in the official chart because the Spotify streams will crush it, I fear.

Last year's song got to #5 though!

[idunnosomename]

if you google Kunt's real name the best source is this blue forum. it's Wayne apparently.

fair fucks to him on this and how rattled he's getting ToryBaby this year that he might stop him making history

[Fambo Number Mive]

New remix available on Bandcamp: https://kuntandthegang.bandcamp.com/track/boris-johnson-is-still-a-f-c-last-night-of-the-kunts-mix

[Johnny Yesno]

Haha! https://kuntandthegang.bandcamp.com/track/boris-johnson-is-still-a-fucking-cunt-feat-babylad-babylads-sausage-roll-sfw-version

[gib]

a carrot shaped like a big cock does sound pretty funny, in fairness