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Feck it, fed up with sobriety

Started by touchingcloth, January 17, 2022, 07:14:14 PM

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touchingcloth

I've just admitted to my other half that every time over the past 9 months she has asked "HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?!" that I had actually been drinking.

What next?


pancreas

Amnesia pill, and don't be so stupid as to tell her the truth if she asks again.

TrenterPercenter

How does it work that you've drank enough to be pissed but not enough to tell you've been drinking.  Absolutely no way my other half wouldn't know I'd been drinking if I'd had 3 pints or more.

touchingcloth

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on January 17, 2022, 07:28:24 PMHow does it work that you've drank enough to be pissed but not enough to tell you've been drinking.  Absolutely no way my other half wouldn't know I'd been drinking if I'd had 3 pints or more.

Because I've been a cunt and just said "no".

TrenterPercenter



TrenterPercenter

It's not the end of the world though TC so no point beating yourself up about it.  Honesty is generally the best policy imo - people don't like it half as much as they claim to want it but it keeps things clear, for you, and them.

touchingcloth

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on January 17, 2022, 08:16:34 PMIt's not the end of the world though TC so no point beating yourself up about it.  Honesty is generally the best policy imo - people don't like it half as much as they claim to want it but it keeps things clear, for you, and them.

She's been more than reasonable about it. I just feel a dick for having said such obvious lies for so long.

imitationleather

If you think she's upset now, wait until she hears about the amphetamines!!

TrenterPercenter

#10
Quote from: touchingcloth on January 17, 2022, 08:22:13 PMShe's been more than reasonable about it. I just feel a dick for having said such obvious lies for so long.

Well the lying is bad, but addictions (if this is what is going on) are difficult things to deal with.  Have a proper chat with her about it and what is going on, she might understand a few things about addictions too (again if that is what is going on).

paruses

Only way out is to go full 8 Ace*


*I hope you're ok. Likely she knew it was bullshit - boozing is hard to hide and it's not quite the betrayal you're imagining.


Icehaven

You're not fed up with sobriety if you've actually been drinking for the last nine months, you're fed up with the pretence of sobriety.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: touchingcloth on January 17, 2022, 07:14:14 PMI had actually been drinking

How are you fed up with sobriety if you've been pissed the whole time?

I drank a bottle of Baileys to finish off a round of drinking last week. I put the empty bottle back and replaced it with a fresh bottle today. Nobody any the wiser but it doesn't feel like a good sign.

bgmnts

Sobriety is shit to be fair but being an alchie is ten times worse. I am usually very sober and it's fucking horrendous and I hate my life but I spent the entire christmas period pretty kuch drinking every day and it was basically the same but worse. I was extra tired and coughing and sick.

Just do the washing up everyday for a month and it'll all be good.

TrenterPercenter

Yes but being an addict isn't really about booze or drugs or whatever you are addicted to.

wooders1978

Maybe you're addicted to lying to your missus?

Ham Bap

Quote from: bgmnts on January 17, 2022, 09:35:24 PMSobriety is shit to be fair but being an alchie is ten times worse. I am usually very sober and it's fucking horrendous and I hate my life but I spent the entire christmas period pretty kuch drinking every day and it was basically the same but worse. I was extra tired and coughing and sick.

Exactly all of this. I must have drank every day from about December 23rd till January 2nd, some days from about 12pm till bedtime, days when I had no idea why I was drinking and getting no enjoyment out of it, just drinking 'because'.

Fine for a couple of days when its a novelty but I was bloody exhausted and fed up feeling like shite by the end of it. I also get nothing done when i'm drinking apart from my arse sat on the sofa.

The days leading up to Christmas when I wasnt drinking were 10x better.

shoulders


markburgle

I'm sure what everyone in this thread secretly wants but is too shy to ask for is drinking self-help-book recommendations, so I'll just mention the one my mental-health professional recommended me.

It's only short, called This Naked Mind. Reviews claim it can help you achieve genuine freedom from the desire to drink rather than merely talking you into that glum forced-abstinence we know so well (although I'm only a couple of chapters in so can't comment).

Butchers Blind

Have you tried swapping drinking to getting on the amphetamines, ASAP?

Emma Raducanu

Do you live with your partner? Where were you secretly drinking? The bathroom? bedroom? the loft?

Glebe

No advice to give TC but I hope you can get things sorted.

Proactive

I'm addicted to prescription
Spoiler alert
glasses.
Spoiler alert
[close]
[close]

Ray Travez

Me too, I snort three or four pairs a day

Ray Travez

Quote from: markburgle on January 17, 2022, 10:31:45 PMIt's only short, called This Naked Mind.


Oh yeah, I've got this. Not looked at it yet. Might read it this week and see what I think. 

QuoteReviews claim it can help you achieve genuine freedom from the desire to drink rather than merely talking you into that glum forced-abstinence we know so well

Yeah that happened to me, desire almost entirely gone. The addiction moved on to other things, far less destructive.

I'd like to see what the technique is with this one.

Rational Recovery is an interesting book. I think there's a potted version which is more to the point. He's got some dumb right-wing opinions, but on addiction he's spot-on. You can probably get all the salient stuff from his website actually, all the stuff about the Addictive Voice. That's where it's at. You don't need the book once that clicks.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Emma Raducanu on January 17, 2022, 11:01:38 PMDo you live with your partner? Where were you secretly drinking? The bathroom? bedroom? the loft?

Usually the kitchen (cooking booze) or dining room (where the spirits are). It started with me sneaking the odd swig of gin when we were sharing a bottle of wine so that I would tip over into tipsiness, but that's basically an impossible state to deliberately get into and maintain and so I'd just end up pretty wankered.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: bgmnts on January 17, 2022, 09:35:24 PMSobriety is shit to be fair but being an alchie is ten times worse. I am usually very sober and it's fucking horrendous and I hate my life but I spent the entire christmas period pretty kuch drinking every day and it was basically the same but worse. I was extra tired and coughing and sick.

Just do the washing up everyday for a month and it'll all be good.

Again, sounds like sobriety might Not be to blame here

Ray Travez


The question is, do you think you have a problem with drinking? Because presumably if you do, you're motivated to do something about it.