Poo River

[Fambo Number Mive]

Untreated sewage is being dumped illegally in rivers across the country on a regular basis, analysis shown to the BBC suggests.

It found seven water companies in England and Wales discharged untreated sewage into rivers and the sea more than 3,000 times between 2017 and 2021.

The water industry admitted action was needed to address the problem...

Peter Hammond, a retired professor of computational biology and also a campaigner with Windrush Against Sewage Pollution, said the statistics showed that the water industry was flouting poor regulation by the Environment Agency.

"In some cases, multiple sewage works are spilling into the same river causing damage for long periods of time, sometimes spilling as long as four months, six months almost without a break," he said...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60040162

So the water companies admit action is needed. That's all right then. We should re-nationalise the water industry because the private water companies clearly can't stop dumping turds in them.

[madhair60]

Does anyone remember To Me To You, the game show starring the Chuckle Brothers? Thread title reminded me of it

[Goldentony]

I want you all to know that I was proud

[Fambo Number Mive]

I don't remember it but I think the Chuckle Brothers would do a better job of running the water companies than some of their current CEOs.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Isn't this allowed now, unfortunately?

[The Dog]

Turds should be tagged so any strays can be reunited with their owners.

[shoulders]

It was turd slalom wild swimming in the river Forsk last Thursday.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

ah well thanks to Brexit the UK won't have to pay any fines to the EU

[Captain Z]

In one of the many Brexit threads there was a link to a great website that very clearly laid out all the stats on EU legislation the UK had voted for/against. Basically, out of ~17000 laws passed during our membership, the UK had only had around 40 "forced on us", i.e. we voted against but the EU passed them anyway. The majority of those related to water quality, i.e. we disagreed that our rivers/ponds/seas should be as clean as the EU standard required.

I have searched for this in the intervening years and come up with nothing, if anyone remembers that site it would be fun to see it again.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Similarly one of the worst potential aspects of the EU would've been TTIP of it went through, which is unlikely to be happening now because the UK were the ones pushing it heavily and (I think) the French were quite against it.

Of course a lot of the shitty aspects of that will be rolled into any potential trade deal with the US.

[Fambo Number Mive]

A shame "our rivers and seas will be full of human faeces" wasn't chosen as the slogan for that bus.

Vote Leave, paddle in turds. Maybe that's something a lot of Leavers enjoy doing. Use your net to catch some really impressive turds and take them home in a bucket.

[Butchers Blind]

Get David Walliams to swim in poo river.

[mattyc]

...wider than a mile

Two floaters, off to see the world...

[canadagoose]

Does anyone remember To Me To You, the game show starring the Chuckle Brothers? Thread title reminded me of it

Yes, yes I do. I watched it on BBC2 before school on occasion. It wasn't as good as ChuckleVision. Wasn't it set on a tropical island or something?

[JesusAndYourBush]

It's because the fine for dumping raw sewage is less than it costs to deal with it properly.  The relevant authorities just need to increase the fine so it's more than it costs to treat it properly and they'll stop dumping it.

Oh, and...
Robbie Robertson considers rewrite

[MojoJojo]

Well, the problem is an overloaded sewer network that drains rainwater as well as sewage, so whenever there is heavy rain it overflows sewage into the rivers along with the rainwater. Fixing it requires massive investment that won't pay back for many years, which is the sort of thing you need governments to do rather than private businesses.

I don't think you can realistically fine the companies enough to make them make the necessary investment - upgrading will be some multiple of their total yearly income.

(I'm making numbers up.)

[Buelligan]

Luckily the market will resolve it.  If you continue to fill your water with human excrement, given a long enough timeline, eventually, you'll force people to die of cholera and other Victorian diseases. 

Once they're happily dead, you'll have less shit to deal with.  Everyone wins!

[Twit 2]

are fishing grounds

[Shit Good Nose]

What a time to be a wild swimmer.

[canadagoose]

To go on-topic for a minute, it's also a problem here. The River Esk at Musselburgh was reported to be manky recently, with various sanitary products, wet wipes and diarrhoea along its banks. And the less said about the Water of Leith after rainfall the better. How do we stop this? Massive upgrades of sewage systems?

[Shit Good Nose]

How do we stop this? Massive upgrades of sewage systems?

Water and sewerage price rises similar to what we're seeing for gas, electricity and oil. 

I wish I was joking, but that's exactly what they'll say is the only solution.

[madhair60]

Imagine just SHITTING.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I don't have to imagine it.

[The Dog]

The future of shitting? Digital.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The future of shitting? Digital.

Are they banning bog roll or something?

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

How do we stop this? Massive upgrades of sewage systems?

Pretty much.

Ensure all urban wastewater treatment plants are of sufficient capacity to handle the volume of wastewater from the agglomeration they're serving

Upgrade to best available technology if appropriate

Divert all surface water/storm water to a separate storm water sewer to avoid flooding/overload of urban WWTPs

The only way you'll get private companies to do this is if the government either fines the bejesus out of them or gives them arseloads of cash to do the work. Renationalising water and sewer treatment would be better but likely impossible.

[The Dog]

Are they banning bog roll or something?

No, but you'll be limited to 16 bits.

[canadagoose]

Pretty much.

Ensure all urban wastewater treatment plants are of sufficient capacity to handle the volume of wastewater from the agglomeration they're serving

Upgrade to best available technology if appropriate

Divert all surface water/storm water to a separate storm water sewer to avoid flooding/overload of urban WWTPs

The only way you'll get private companies to do this is if the government either fines the bejesus out of them or gives them arseloads of cash to do the work. Renationalising water and sewer treatment would be better but likely impossible.

I mean, our water / sewerage (in Scotland) is nationalised in the first place, so that's a start I guess.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I mean, our water / sewerage (in Scotland) is nationalised in the first place, so that's a start I guess.

So is ours (Ireland). The problem here is decades and decades of underfunding. The government stupidly tried to bring in water charges in the depths of a recession, instead of in the early aughts when people had money and would've grumbled but paid them, and promptly had to get rid of them. Shame, because we really need a pot of money that's ring-fenced for water and wastewater infrastructure.

[shiftwork2]

Reckon it's 3000 little tods over four years, otherwise known as my output.