WWIII (World War 3)

[Alberon]

My main worry is what you do when you hear the most terrifying noise ever in an air raid siren and maybe even be close to see a nuclear bomb drop and witness the flash just before oblivion? Can you imagine the feeling of imminent doom in your belly? Would you vomit in your mouth or shit your pants just before the end?

Scary as fuck.

You don't have to worry about that anymore. They don't use sirens these days but an alert on your phone with a piercing noise. I got a test one of those a year or so ago.

It's just not the same.

[Dex Sawash]

If you're close enough you'll just evaporate.

This is no time for edging

[Crenners]

India and Pakistan will wipe each other out.

USA and Russia will wipe each other out.

France and Israel will wipe each other out.

China and North Korea will wipe each other out.



Britain will be last man standing.


We can arbitrarily nuke whoever we like and then rebuild civilisation. No shortage of anything. Climate change solved. No more mcu. It's like a dream. We can all move to Australia.

[bgmnts]

You don't have to worry about that anymore. They don't use sirens these days but an alert on your phone with a piercing noise. I got a test one of those a year or so ago.

It's just not the same.

Thank god Two Tribes was made in the 80s.

[bgmnts]

France and Israel will wipe each other out.

You have to remember 85 of those nukes are reserved for the Gaza Strip.

[Crenners]

As long as Briton is left standing the rest can figure out how they wanna go down. We have the best Navy in the world.

[Bigfella]

If the bombs drop on London I won't be too bothered.

[Lemming]

Putting aside the countless millions of lost lives and the unimaginable tragedy and all that, nuclear armageddon could be a bit of fun. I've got a few friends nearby, plus I get on well with the old woman who lives over the street, so maybe we could all start a local posse of survivors together, sharing food and resources, creating and tending a sad little irradiated crop garden, all that. Plus watching each other's backs against the inevitable gangs of raiders.

Couldn't take a Northern raider seriously, though. Pink mohawks and psychotic voices like in Fallout, cool. Drugged-up Aussie car maniacs like in Mad Max, also cool. But a fat bald dickhead in a Leeds United shirt walking over and saying "giv us yer fuckin' food mate"? Laughing in his face.

I imagine much of Africa would do well in the not-being-struck-by-nukes department. The Ghana/Benin/Nigeria area might be the place to head to. The woman who does the late-night chat show on Nigeria Info Port Harcourt is a good laugh and seems pretty nice so hopefully she wouldn't mind an avid listener such as myself travelling several thousand miles to her studio to ask for food and shelter after Europe gets nuked to the stone age.

[Crenners]

That's a plan. Love it.

[vanilla.coffee]

How come all those countries are allowed to have nukes but Iran isn't allowed to have any?

[shoulders]

South America so irrelevant on the graph they just plonk the caption right over it.

[gilbertharding]

You don't have to worry about that anymore. They don't use sirens these days but an alert on your phone with a piercing noise. I got a test one of those a year or so ago.

It's just not the same.

Should be this:

I used to live near an American air force base, and if the wind was in the right direction - which it rarely was, so it would shit you up when it happened - you could hear them testing the air raid sirens at 10am on a Monday morning.

[PlanktonSideburns]

none

Wind people up so much they don't even nuke us

We would HATE that

[PlanktonSideburns]

Used to work next to Salford Turd Processing Plant, occasionally they would let loose an air raid sound. I asked a co worker what was going on;

Shit factory is opening the flaps. It's going to FUCKING STINK in here for the rest of the day now

He was correct

[Paul Calf]

Used to work next to Salford Turd Processing Plant...

Is this a kind of triffid that only eats Jason Manford?

[Butchers Blind]

PorkMarketsCheeseDisgrace has sent a stern warning about escalations on the Ukraine border. Putin must be shitting himself.

[Alberon]

Frankly if I was in Putin's position all I'd be hearing is how the West is not going to do anything more than tut loudly when Russia invades.

[imitationleather]

A war could be just what Johnson needs to catapult himself back up the polls!!

[spaghetamine]

I can't handle this level of anxiety, legitimately thinking of killing myself to avoid this. Fuck's sake. Humans are bastards.

[hamfist]

I used to be in the civil defence in Switzerland and had to test the sirens every February. Always chilling to hear them going off.

I have always been absolutely sure I would witness nuclear war. I'm sort of already resigned to it, there's a portion of my brain which thinks about it all the time. About how we'd set up the house, how we'd collect water. All probably pointless as I live near one of the longest runways in the UK and I imagine that would get multiple groundbursts and take us out pretty early on.

I could run away to Switzerland. But what radioactive hellscape would be left even there ?

In fact the Swiss Consulate asked us to provide our Lat/Lon coordinates in the UK I assume for helicopter extraction pre or post boom.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Is this a kind of triffid that only eats Jason Manford?

Is he from Salford?!

[Paul Calf]

Yep. Check his wiki.

[shiftwork2]

Worth mentioning that Anne Sellors has an IMDB entry.  What have you done etc

Sheffield Threads Museum doesn't seem to exist which is a missed opportunity given the huge piles of rubble everywhere.  They could start with a Traffic Warden cap, prawn cocktail crisp packet and a burned ET doll.  There you go Sheffield city council.

[beanheadmcginty]

I don't think it should be officially allowed to be called a World War unless we're fighting the Germans.

[hamfist]

Worth mentioning that Anne Sellors has an IMDB entry.  What have you done etc

Sheffield Threads Museum doesn't seem to exist which is a missed opportunity given the huge piles of rubble everywhere.  They could start with a Traffic Warden cap, prawn cocktail crisp packet and a burned ET doll.  There you go Sheffield city council.

And a piss leg where you press a button and piss comes out of the end of the trouser.

[peanutbutter]

"World War 3" will be the branding the US and UK put onto some attack on another far smaller country to build up a popular consensus for it. Half of the push will effectively be "aren't you fed up of people shiteing on about WW2?"

[oy vey]

Which in fairness is a good angle.

[Thursday]

Yeah up for that actually, just so the people who have no experience of war but say "this generation needs a war." can shut up. Fine let's do it.

[imitationleather]

We should be alright, yeah? It'd be pretty silly for Russia to nuke all those expensive properties they own here.

[Blue Jam]

It's gonna be like a Black Mirror episode. I dunno which one, pick a random one.