A serial lawbreaking liar - Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson scandal thread 2

[Huxleys Babkins]

Greg Clark, the former business secretary, is going to be appointed as the new levelling up secretary, the Times' Steven Swinford reports.

Haha, the mad bastard is still carrying on.

[jobotic]

He has to stay while Carrie steams the wallpaper off the walls of No 10!!!!

[elliszeroed]

So, with all these ministers resigned, who is running the fucking country, all these departments?

If there's some kind of emergency, terrorist attack, hyperbolic act, who makes decisions?

[Alberon]

Johnson's going ahead with appointing new ministers for his epilogue-term. Assuming anyone will accept.

[idunnosomename]

This is like the end of aliens where the queen has stowed away and it isnt over. Gove ripped in half and barfing up cum

[jobotic]

So, with all these ministers resigned, who is running the fucking country, all these departments?

If there's some kind of emergency, terrorist attack, hyperbolic act, who makes decisions?

Coffey has said the same. She's worried about all the poor people who rely on the DWP if she's not there to kill them process their payments.

[BritishHobo]

This'll be good. What barrels will he have scraped to refill the cabinet?

[beanheadmcginty]

I've heard that Gazza has turned up outside Downing Street with a chicken fishing rod and a wallpaper removal tool.

[Blinder Data]

Johnson's ego and obsession with his place in history won't let an interim PM replace him. If he refuses to go instantly, what might happen is that the Tory leadership contest is sped up to compensate.

[Norton Canes]

It's like in films where someone gets shot through the head and they look up quizzically for a few seconds, not realizing what's happened

Or

Spoiler alert

Gus Fring's death

[close]

in Breaking Bad

Johnson basically just adjusting his tie now

[lipsink]

I've heard that Paul Gascoigne the footballer.

[robhug]

Dorries will have to head up a couple of departments

[Alberon]

Lord Heseltine has said that "if Boris goes, Brexit goes" as he urged the next Conservative Party leader to bolster the UK's ties with Brussels.

He told Sky News: "The critical thing here is that Boris is associated with one major policy, and that is Brexit. I coined the phrase 'if Boris goes, Brexit goes'."

He said the next PM should establish a "more positive relationship with Europe".

What the fuck is he smoking?

[jobotic]

Paul Gascoigne is putting up Fred Bassett wallpaper in number 10 with a fishing rod and no one knows why!

[BritishHobo]

I coined the phrase 'if Boris goes, Brexit goes'.

Well well done you.

[Alberon]

Johnson is about to announce a new cabinet, though I do wonder if most of the members will be made of wood as well.

EDIT:

It is thought James Cleverly will be the new Education Secretary.

Ah yes, it will.

[idunnosomename]

Johnson, Johnson, Boris Johnson

With the help of all the media you went got Brexit done

Johnson, Johnson, Boris Johnson

And baby you can eat a scone

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lord Heseltine has said that "if Boris goes, Brexit goes" as he urged the next Conservative Party leader to bolster the UK's ties with Brussels.

He told Sky News: "The critical thing here is that Boris is associated with one major policy, and that is Brexit. I coined the phrase 'if Boris goes, Brexit goes'."

He said the next PM should establish a "more positive relationship with Europe".

[seepage]

I just wanted to post this

What is that circular thing with a hole in the middle - flat fizz disposal unit?

[Alberon]

Built in fleshlight for when you want to fuck the kitchen.

[Pink Gregory]

Built in fleshlight for when you want to fuck the kitchen.

good bloke, works hard, loves his kids etc

[TrenterPercenter]

All eyes on No.10 but the real fire was in parliament just now.

It is alleged Bowis had a secret meeting with a KGB agent whilst Foreign Secretary and has compromised national security, the Foreign minister (Vicky Ford) could not say whether he reported the meeting or not, then said "he covered this yesterday at the liaison meeting" to which Chris Bryant said no he didn't he was there, to which Vicky Ford said, I thought he did but I wasn't there and haven't seen it, then she gets pilled on for saying well do you know whether he has reported it or not, she says she doesn't know.  Then two minutes later "I've just been passed a note that says the PM "thinks" he reported it".

[badaids]

What is that circular thing with a hole in the middle - flat fizz disposal unit?

It a vinyl copy of Mwng which has frivolously been used as a coaster for a giant mug of tea.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Isn't this kind of talk from Heseltine going to make Brexiteers think that the getting rid of Johnson is a "Remoaner plot"? A lot of them seem to think that Johnson has been fighting a "Remoaner elite" like MAGA people think Trump was fighting some kind of "Deep State". Also, I'm not sure that we can just reverse Brexit or that the EU would let us back in.

[Alberon]

Boris Johnson has appointed Greg Clark as the new Levelling Up Secretary, replacing Michael Gove.

Kit Malthouse becomes Chancellor for the Duchy of Lancaster, the most senior minister in the Cabinet Office after the prime minister.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Labour Party leader Sir Keir Starmer is demanding Boris Johnson stand down as PM immediately, saying it's not fair on the country for him to stay on as caretaker prime minister.

Good, but he should have said that earlier.

[idunnosomename]

Malt Kithouse

[BlodwynPig]

It's good though because it means people might hate the Tories as a whole and not vote for them.

[Buelligan]

What is that circular thing with a hole in the middle - flat fizz disposal unit?

Pretty sure it's some shite for serving caviar.  Yup.

[BlodwynPig]

Johnson be choppes. I'm not celebrating though, because of his successor potentially being worse. Having Priti Patel as PM is absolute nightmare fuel.

She is home sec. Nightmare fuel already