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New posters intro thread

Started by Barry Admin, June 16, 2022, 02:26:09 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Midas

Lurked for five years. Started posting slightly over a year ago. I'm the sort of person who evades other people's attempts to get to know me by fobbing them off with witless responses that reveal nothing. In other words: I'm a man of integrity; I'd rather let my posts speak for themselves. In other words: 26 y/o and nothing to show for it. In other words: I am void filler.

i'm the guv'nor! i don't suffer fools, i tell it how it is. shepherd's pie with peas and BROWN SAUCE. lavverly Jabberly.

Kankurette

Quote from: madhair60 on June 28, 2022, 04:46:19 PMyou're a cunt, your dad's a cunt, your mum's a cunt, any sibling you have are cunts, all your friends are cunts, all their friends are cunts, i'm a cunt, everyone's a cunt, it's a world of cunts my friend.
Here's a cunt
There's a cunt
And another little cunt
Fuzzy cunt
Funny cunt
Cunt
Cunt
GRAVE.

holyzombiejesus

Quote from: Stigdu on June 28, 2022, 04:26:25 PMYeah to be fair, this is probably one of the sweariest, most aggressive chat forums I've ever been on. Within the space of a week, I got called a troll, a cunt, and someone called my father a cunt too.


Minor point of order: two people have called your father a cunt.

QDRPHNC

Stop calling the new cunts cunts cunts.

Brundle-Fly

I am a bank manager and captain of a local territorial army platoon on the south coast of Britain. My favourite comedies are It's That Man Again, Worker's Playtime and Joey.


Terry Torpid

hello is this the keir starmer fansite

Mr Vegetables

Hello! I've lurked here for ages and signed up to write something now

shoulders


Pink Gregory


gib

did anyone figure out what was in the packet of BOB MARLEY

non capisco

Quote from: Mr Vegetables on June 30, 2022, 08:17:26 PMHello! I've lurked here for ages and signed up to write something now

Ace first post, btw.

Zero Gravitas

Quote from: gib on June 30, 2022, 11:16:29 PMdid anyone figure out what was in the packet of BOB MARLEY



Priced to clear.

I wonder if the estate would be open to a cereal branding though.

Ben and Jerry's produced a banana-flavoured Bob Marley ice cream for a while, but I haven't seen it for a while so the Marley estate must've decided to shift the focus back towards the reggae department of the business and away from the frozen desserts operations.

non capisco

I remember Bob Marley being one of the few major artists who were better served with all the cheap cash in compilations because it was always the Lee Perry produced originals rather than the Island re-recordings. As opposed to a 2 CD set of live Jimi Hendrix songs called something like 'Hendrix Gold' that were so poorly recorded they sounded like a toddler's memory.

The Mollusk

Anyone else remember the Bob Marley and Mr Sheen wood polish collab?

"Lively up ya shelf!"

Dr Rock

All that the new posters need to know about me is that it was me what phoned up Mathew Wright and spilled the beans about David Cameron putting his cock in a dead pigs mouth.

Which of course shortly led to his resignation and announcement of the Brexit vote as a distraction, so Brexit is my fault also.

I have also stolen
a. a torch
b. a bus

Mobius

Quote from: Dr Rock on July 01, 2022, 07:00:46 AMAll that the new posters need to know about me is that it was me what phoned up Mathew Wright and spilled the beans about David Cameron putting his cock in a dead pigs mouth.

I'm not new but I didn't know that, that's great. I see it all the time in funny tv compilations on YouTube

Sonny_Jim

Quote from: Mr Vegetables on June 30, 2022, 08:17:26 PMHello! I've lurked here for ages and signed up to write something now
Welcome!

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: The Mollusk on July 01, 2022, 06:49:03 AMAnyone else remember the Bob Marley and Mr Sheen wood polish collab?

"Lively up ya shelf!"

Or his collab with OJ Simpson

"Could you be gloved?"




Come on this has got legs

Stigdu

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on July 01, 2022, 11:01:23 PMOr his collab with OJ Simpson

"Could you be gloved?"




Come on this has got legs

There's a great website all about OJ.

I'm not 100% of the URL but I think it's Enter, backslash, backslash, forward slash, escape.

Zero Gravitas

Quote from: Stigdu on July 01, 2022, 11:06:59 PMThere's a great website all about OJ.

I'm not 100% of the URL but I think it's Enter, backslash, backslash, forward slash, escape.

I've tried this like 3 times now but it keeps just brining me back to whatever page I start from, are you sure you've got the order right?

I'm using chrome by the way.

Stigdu

Quote from: Zero Gravitas on July 02, 2022, 12:16:05 AMI've tried this like 3 times now but it keeps just brining me back to whatever page I start from, are you sure you've got the order right?

I'm using chrome by the way.

Might be a couple more backslashes in there.

  There's no other way to say this: I'm New.
  I've been New a while now and, look, hell who am I kidding? When I look back on my life I think I've always been New. Right from birth, plop, there I was; New.
   I'll walk into shops I haven't been to before and straight away I'll know it's New. I'll hunt through the gear there, desperate for something New. Then family will see what I've bought and they'll point and say 'New' but it doesn't stop me doing it all over again.
  Id just like to thank you cunts for this opportunity to accept it for myself; I'm New and I know I have to deal with it - but it takes time, y'know?

Luornu

I'm new! I've been reading for ages though. Is that that 'lurking' thing I've heard so much about?

I stare at a computer screen all day long with occasional breaks to buy custard filled doughnuts and bread at co-op. If I were a sitcom character it would be the dullest sitcom ever written.

I'm interested in Things. Shiny shiny things to distract me from my fractious destiny.

Hello.

Dr Rock


pancreas

Quote from: Armed Traffic Warden on July 02, 2022, 11:36:36 AMThere's no other way to say t...

Your username is an anagram of I framed new fart card

Ferris

Quote from: Luornu on July 02, 2022, 11:56:03 AMI stare at a computer screen all day long with occasional breaks to buy custard filled doughnuts and bread at co-op.

Not even joking this sounds mega.

imitationleather

Quote from: Ferris on July 02, 2022, 01:16:44 PMNot even joking this sounds mega.

What's the Canadian equivalent of a custard filled doughnut? Some fucking... shite, no doubt!!

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

They probably fill them with maple syrup or some such bullshit. Arseholes.