Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra

[Thursday]

A new paedo IRC chatroom has just been started

[sevendaughters]

good grief.

[sevendaughters]

call the hospital and admit every single player

[Cuellar]

HAHAHA EPSTEINED

[imitationleather]

Some seriously grim dark net sites are reporting bandwidth issues this evening.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

0/2 after the first over

Bye bye Ashes

[Inspector Norse]

Root needs to be left at home for the winter to get his head straight. Two-three years ago he was one of the best players in the world but captaincy has destroyed him.

Bayliss and Smith need putting in a Brexit rocket to Jupiter.

[poo]

Ashes going home

[Quote]

It reminds me of the decline of the band Queen, in that the main man has AIDS.

[sevendaughters]

that's a series breaker. it's 3-1 all over now. you don't get up from those punches.

[Thursday]

This is good actually, if we'd seen out this session without loss you might have hope. No need for any of that nonsense now. Will do something else tomorrow.

[Inspector Norse]

First England captain to make three ducks in a series.

A man who once had a better average than Smith.

[sevendaughters]

feel sick.

[poo]

Shame the super-creepy alien mega cheat batting phenomenon ultra cunt from Andromeda spoiled this Ashes. It would have been close

[Thursday]

Questions must be asked clive

[Norton Canes]

I see England aren't worried about the run rate - very sensible

[king_tubby]

AIDS. Die of ignorance.

[iamcoop]

Anybody know what time The hunt for Britain's paedophiles starts on Channel 5 tonight? Is it 7pm like usual?

[sevendaughters]

love to see Roy, average of 17, barely past 150 test runs, throwing his bat. oh and Denly at the other end? i say ECB you are spoiling us.

[Quote]

"Root, looking at a laptop, no doubt analysing his dismissal..."

Hmmm.

[imitationleather]

Getting 365 runs tomorrow? You'd have more chance of selling legal jazz mags to the ECB.

[king_tubby]

"Root, looking at a laptop, no doubt analysing his dismissal..."

Hmmm.

Heh.

[Cuellar]

This is good. Its like vomiting. Horrible whilst it's happening, but you have to keep vomiting, get it all out.

[kalowski]

"Root, looking at a laptop, no doubt analysing his dismissal..."

Hmmm.

Nice. Might analyse my dismissal watching Tushy tonight.

[BlodwynPig]

Stokes will do this...again... called it

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

98 overs. Australia may shit themselves a bit if we're 250 for 4 or 5 at tea time.

Likelier outcome we are all out for 140 an hour and a half after lunch

[poo]

Be surprised if we make lunch.

Whatever happens today Root needs to fall on his sword and give control of the final test to Thuglife. He's been an Ebola-tier captain. Bayliss, Wankprakash and the selectors just please fucking go now too.

[poo]

And now we've won the World Cup and proved we're good at that nonsense there needs to be a total focus on proper cricket. Test cricket needs to be protected and developed at all costs. Even if in 20 years time we're the only ones playing it and ECB has no money don't care. Test cricket above all else.

[sevendaughters]

we certainly won't win. the reality is we are more likely to be 4 down in the first 30 minutes with Denly and Roy (WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THESE TWO?). I'll be generous and say they'll make it to just before tea as someone pointless has a rear-guard that makes the beersnake brigade whoop it up.

[Thursday]

There's always someone who'll put in pointlessly good but not enough performance. Stoke can't do it for us again though. And honestly he's earned the right to paed it up for a match.