Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: Non Stop Dancer on July 07, 2020, 07:55:23 PM

Title: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 07, 2020, 07:55:23 PM
Had a call from an employee's family today saying that said employee had been arrested at his home on Friday, and was still in custody. Either didn't know why or didn't want to say. Friend of friend who's a copper said the only way he'd still be held by police today is on a very serious charge e.g murder, which just isn't the case.

He therefore said what will have happened is that he's actually been charged with something and is in custody pending a court hearing. Thing is, especially with the way things are right now, what could he possibly have done to warrant that?

Serious answers sought but will happily accept nonsense as well.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dog Botherer on July 07, 2020, 07:56:25 PM
your employee is famous paedophile Ghislaine Maxwell
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 07, 2020, 08:09:28 PM
Traffic cone theft, littering and bestiality.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: buttgammon on July 07, 2020, 08:11:02 PM
Perhaps a silly question but is this definitely not a lie? Though why would anyone get their family to say they've been arrested?

Nonsense answer: offences against waterfowl
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: imitationleather on July 07, 2020, 08:13:24 PM
Pulled off a statue.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 07, 2020, 08:13:53 PM
Perhaps a silly question but is this definitely not a lie? Though why would anyone get their family to say they've been arrested?

Nonsense answer: offences against waterfowl

There's no way he would want us to think he'd been arrested. We've got a good relationship and if he was ill, he knows it's not an issue.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: pancreas on July 07, 2020, 08:16:28 PM
Pulled off a statue.

I was trying to be energetic!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Lord Mandrake on July 07, 2020, 08:17:44 PM
Operation Eternal seems to match the dates. Naughty!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: holyzombiejesus on July 07, 2020, 08:18:24 PM
He said he was English.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Shit Good Nose on July 07, 2020, 08:19:13 PM
Broke into prison to suck Ron Jeremy's cock now that Ron can't suck it himself.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Kryton on July 07, 2020, 08:20:25 PM
Dropped a statue on a nonce.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: ProvanFan on July 07, 2020, 08:22:45 PM
He's Zero Cool
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: His Name Is Death on July 07, 2020, 08:24:50 PM
.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: pigamus on July 07, 2020, 08:27:13 PM
He thought the second Juliet Bravo was better than the first Juliet Bravo
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on July 07, 2020, 09:10:02 PM
Traffic cone theft, littering and bestiality.

Simon Raven considers title rewrite for his 1971 screenplay.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on July 07, 2020, 09:14:15 PM
SWIM recently got in trouble for some rather mundane, low-level violent offences at the start of lockdown and only just got out, they spent the whole time remanded in custody until their court date.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Goldentony on July 07, 2020, 09:32:47 PM
oh my god he's IN JAIL OH MY FUCKEN GOD
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: DrGreggles on July 07, 2020, 09:57:00 PM
Is he in Kasabian?
Did he used to be in Kasabian?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on July 07, 2020, 11:02:23 PM

He therefore said what will have happened is that he's actually been charged with something and is in custody pending a court hearing. Thing is, especially with the way things are right now, what could he possibly have done to warrant that?


Any number of offences really, but while I'm not too up on exactly what the criteria is for deciding whether someone is remanded or released on bail, it must be something serious-ish, maybe assault or something drug related? Do you know if he has any previous?

SWIM recently got in trouble for some rather mundane, low-level violent offences at the start of lockdown and only just got out, they spent the whole time remanded in custody until their court date.

That's still quite quick, it's not uncommon to have to wait at least 6 months to go to court, often longer. Someone I worked with last year was arrested in January and his court date was November. It was supposed to be earlier but the prosecution asked for it to be pushed back at least twice as they needed more time to gather evidence. Obviously that can't go on indefinitely but again it's quite common, particularly with complex cases where there's lots of defendants involved (e.g. drug importation conspiracies) or extremely serious cases (e.g. murder) where the defendant is potentially looking at a long sentence.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Marner and Me on July 07, 2020, 11:13:38 PM
Burgled turds?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on July 07, 2020, 11:19:47 PM
Imagine if he was phoning to pull a sickie, panicked, did a voice, and made this up o  the spot
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: TheBrownBottle on July 07, 2020, 11:24:41 PM
Just hope you’ve got enough ‘buffers’ between you and your employee, and you should be fine
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Twonty Gostelow on July 07, 2020, 11:26:14 PM
Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 07, 2020, 11:35:28 PM
Any number of offences really, but while I'm not too up on exactly what the criteria is for deciding whether someone is remanded or released on bail, it must be something serious-ish, maybe assault or something drug related? Do you know if he has any previous?
I can't conceive if him being violent really, he's just not the type. As for drugs, he was a party animal in a past life and has been pretty open about drug use at that point in his life. I wouldn't put it past him to still indulge from time to time but in terms of dealing, again I would be very surprised.

I mean, it could conceivably be something catching up with him from any point in his life really couldn't it. Fuck knows.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Alberon on July 07, 2020, 11:54:54 PM
Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Wonderful Butternut on July 07, 2020, 11:58:14 PM
Fucked a horse.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: steve98 on July 08, 2020, 12:00:35 AM
Fucked a horse.

That isn't a crime (Unless the horse says neigh)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Pearly-Dewdrops Drops on July 08, 2020, 01:11:10 AM
Flagrant balding.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on July 08, 2020, 01:29:18 AM
walking around while black
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cerys on July 08, 2020, 04:21:39 AM
Squeezing sponges over policemen's heads.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Kelvin on July 08, 2020, 04:41:18 AM
I'm always reading that it's illegal to be a straight, white man nowadays. Could he have recently done that?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sherringford Hovis on July 08, 2020, 05:50:13 AM
Possession of curly black hair and thick lips tends to get the book thrown at you too.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Bazooka on July 08, 2020, 07:13:50 AM
Possession of curly black hair and thick lips tends to get the book thrown at you too.

Leo Sayer?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: GMTV on July 08, 2020, 07:55:11 AM
Imagine if he was phoning to pull a sickie, panicked, did a voice, and made this up o  the spot

And then to cover himself ultimately had to commit a serious crime and ensure he was caught.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Old Gold Tooth on July 08, 2020, 08:16:19 AM
He’s just the fall guy. The real criminal is still out there.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: dissolute ocelot on July 08, 2020, 10:06:20 AM
It's common to be refused bail if you're up for something like perverting the course of justice, interfering with a police investigation, threatening witnesses, jury tampering, bribing public officials, etc. Maybe he killed a judge by beating him to death with his own gavel[1], or tried to frame you for noncing.
 1. The judge collected antique gavels because of course English judges don't use gavels in court.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on July 08, 2020, 10:52:21 AM
Besides the Ghislaine comment, how has no one yet suggested that maybe this guy has been arrested and thrown in jail for a spot of the old noncery?

Is her German? Maybe he’s the guy what did Maddie.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Inspector Norse on July 08, 2020, 11:35:07 AM
Maybe he killed a judge by beating him to death with his own gavel, or tried to frame you for noncing.

You can’t frame someone who’s actually guilty.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: steve98 on July 08, 2020, 12:01:15 PM
Besides the Ghislaine comment, how has no one yet suggested that maybe this guy has been arrested and thrown in jail for a spot of the old noncery?

Is her German? Maybe he’s the guy what did Maddie.

I'm sure we all thought of it, but acted dumb and hoped someone else would suggest it.Yeah, it'll be noncery alright, shame.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on July 08, 2020, 12:09:40 PM
Embezzlement
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Bently Sheds on July 08, 2020, 12:25:26 PM
Bummed a fez.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: kngen on July 08, 2020, 12:32:13 PM
A mate of mine got caught dealing Class As and was out by midnight after being charged. Another friend of mine was arrested having a piss up a lane, and spent the night in fucking BARLINNIE because they couldn't get in touch with his mum to confirm his address (even though they lifted him at his front door).

It's entirely arbitrary, unfortunately, and is probably more to do with whether or not you've pissed off the arresting officers or not (so prob 'breach of the peace' or something nebulous).

Oh, and the police can often play fast and loose with the 24 hour charging period if it falls over the weekend (liberty only applying during business hours, of course). If you get lifted on Friday night, you won't be getting your shoelaces back until Monday morning, regardless of what that silly notion of habeas corpus says)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on July 08, 2020, 12:43:49 PM
Are you going to tell us when you find out?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blinder Data on July 08, 2020, 12:55:28 PM
I worked a summer job at a bar and a colleague had to phone up to say he couldn't come in because he got arrested. It was for dealing class As but he seemed totally taken aback by the accusation as he had only ever been an infrequent partaker (though he could've been lying). He turned up for the next shift and I think it was eventually judged to be a big misunderstanding.

So I'm gonna guess DRUGS
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 08, 2020, 01:02:00 PM
A mate of mine got caught dealing Class As and was out by midnight after being charged. Another friend of mine was arrested having a piss up a lane, and spent the night in fucking BARLINNIE because they couldn't get in touch with his mum to confirm his address (even though they lifted him at his front door).

It's entirely arbitrary, unfortunately, and is probably more to do with whether or not you've pissed off the arresting officers or not (so prob 'breach of the peace' or something nebulous).

Oh, and the police can often play fast and loose with the 24 hour charging period if it falls over the weekend (liberty only applying during business hours, of course). If you get lifted on Friday night, you won't be getting your shoelaces back until Monday morning, regardless of what that silly notion of habeas corpus says)

Yeah I thought it was pretty common for drunks to stay in all weekend even if it's a drunken misdemeanour rather than a serious crime.

One of my mates got jumped by 2 lads when he was walking home and managed to fend them off by chinning them. He got a night in the cells. In the morning they showed the cctv showing exactly that and he pointed out he didn't start it and he was defending himself and they more or less said 'yeah but we've got to nick someone'. Charges dropped.

I've also heard of people being complete nuisances to the point bouncers have had to sit on them until the police arrive and the police just dropping them off round the back of the station because they can't be fucked.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on July 08, 2020, 01:10:39 PM
don't forget, even passing a spliff to your mate is 'dealing', let alone giving them a line of coke or an ecstasy tablet. I'm more concerned about the social distancing implications
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 08, 2020, 01:20:09 PM
don't forget, even passing a spliff to your mate is 'dealing'

That really depends on how much you upset the police or how puritanical your local force is. Some of them have more or less said they're not going to touch users. Some have hinted they'll even turn a blind eye to personal growth.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 08, 2020, 04:11:42 PM
It's either paedoing or this:

Operation Eternal seems to match the dates. Naughty!

(which is covered in this thread (https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,81239.0.html).)


I tend to suspect the former.  Why?  Because if it were the latter, I suspect his family would have fibbed and said he was seriously ill instead.

Maybe I'm stupid, but the only reason I can think of for a family member to cheerfully ring up and say "Yup, he's been arrested" is because they were happy enough for it to have occurred.  Thus: paedoing.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Pingers on July 08, 2020, 11:00:10 PM
Broad rule of thumb is that if you're remanded it's an indication you'll likely get prison, not a cast iron method though. Friday-Tuesday does seem a long time, I'd guess he's fessed to something reasonably serious or they'd have arrested and bailed him then released him under investigation.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 09, 2020, 09:39:45 AM
I'm going to counter all this serious crime speculation with he's serially failed to pay court imposed fines and is now doing a short stint of bird for it.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: pancreas on July 09, 2020, 10:12:16 AM
Trained a swan to attack lesbians.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cerys on July 09, 2020, 10:16:11 AM
Trained a lesbian to attack swans.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Thomas on July 09, 2020, 10:17:29 AM
I imagine he's been arrested for working for an illegal business, and is currently snitching on his terrible employer.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: imitationleather on July 09, 2020, 11:25:44 AM
I imagine he's been arrested for working for an illegal business, and is currently snitching on his terrible employer.

Bingo!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on July 09, 2020, 11:31:32 AM
I'm always reading that it's illegal to be a straight, white man nowadays. Could he have recently done that?

maybe he said he was English
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: ollyboro on July 09, 2020, 11:42:55 AM
He's possibly obstructed a bat roost, not paid some parking fines or been the instigator of a brutal sexual assault.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on July 09, 2020, 01:47:55 PM
Maybe he ignored the paperclip when it told him he had performed an illegal operation.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cold Meat Platter on July 09, 2020, 02:36:16 PM
Done a holocaust.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: dissolute ocelot on July 10, 2020, 10:57:55 AM
Trained a lesbian to attack swans.
It's pure instinct, put a lesbian in a field with some swans and it's fucking carnage.

Maybe it was a sex game gone wrong. Or a particularly gripping game of monopoly. Wait, can you get sent to jail without being arrested?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: paruses on July 10, 2020, 11:04:08 AM
It's pure instinct, put a lesbian in a field with some swans and it's fucking carnage.

Maybe it was a sex game gone wrong. Or a particularly gripping game of monopoly. Wait, can you get sent to jail without being arrested?

These days you can if you say you are English
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: steve98 on July 10, 2020, 11:25:43 AM
If you're English you're already in a jail, in this country.

New page (same old story)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 10, 2020, 01:24:54 PM
Quick update. Family do know what it is but aren't saying what. Next step is crown court a month from now. It's something sexual isn't it.

I suspect that another employee probably knows more than we do due to a mutual acquaintance and hope they'll spill the beans. If they don't, does anyone know where I stand legally regarding telling the rest of the team what I know, as it's going to be a bit bloody odd when he's just not there anymore.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Gurke and Hare on July 10, 2020, 01:33:11 PM
I'd just send a very mundane "X is no longer with the company. If you have any questions on anything he was working on, they should be referred to Y." email. If you say the wrong thing, it could possible have repercussions outside your workplace given that he's been charged.

But I'm not a lawyer, you should probably speak to one of those. I'm assuming it's too small a business to have an actual HR department?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on July 10, 2020, 01:41:01 PM
just show them this thread, tell them 'your top team are on it' and 'this is as much as anyone can know at this time'
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: drummersaredeaf on July 10, 2020, 02:05:02 PM
Just a quick one as someone who has a background in employment relations.

If he's still meant to be at work (and assuming you are in the UK), so no furlough etc., you might want to start thinking about a procedure to get him dealt with/off the books.

You can reasonably expect him to report in to confirm he's not coming into work himself - I gather so far he hasn't made contact. You can pull him in to explain why he failed to turn in to work (an investigation which might turn into a disciplinary pending the results of the investigation).

If it seems serious, you might have a decision to make, and you can potentially dismiss before the crown court appearance depending on the nature of the charge and the nature of your business - criminal and employment law are two separate spheres, and a 'not guilty' doesn't necessarily mean he keeps his job.

The first step is probably to make contact to ask him what has happened, and to say that you've heard from his family there is a crown court appearance scheduled.

Regarding the rest of the team, you might want to say he has failed to turn in to work, and has not explained why. His family called in, but you have yet to make contact with him. The standard HR approach in this instance is to call the guy and ask why he hasn't phoned in and 'to check he's ok'. Failing to report absence usually triggers an investigation, and you can tell him you're aware he's going to the crown court. WIth any luck he'll fess up to you and/or just quit (assuming it's bad bad shit involving da kidz). If it's something serious but where you're willing to continue his employment, you might want to progress to disciplinary on the grounds of not reporting absence and give a warning with one eye on his court date.

The fact his family have reported an arrest rather than making up something about having the shits suggests it might well be a bad one though.

PM me if you want a bit of advice by all means, but the question you need to ask yourself is what crimes could he be accused of where you are willing for him to keep his job (assuming no prison).

Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 10, 2020, 02:14:15 PM
Quick update. Family do know what it is but aren't saying what. Next step is crown court a month from now. It's something sexual isn't it.

Sounds like it. :-/

Then again, it sounds like he's still remanded in custard, which I don't think would be the case for indecent images.  So maybe it's encro-drug crimes after all, especially as you said he had a Class A past.  Either that or he went on a rape rampage or something.

(Because if he's not on remand, why aren't you getting sheepish phone calls from him himself, rather than his family?)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 10, 2020, 02:22:44 PM
Just a quick one as someone who has a background in employment relations.

If he's still meant to be at work (and assuming you are in the UK), so no furlough etc., you might want to start thinking about a procedure to get him dealt with/off the books.

You can reasonably expect him to report in to confirm he's not coming into work himself - I gather so far he hasn't made contact. You can pull him in to explain why he failed to turn in to work (an investigation which might turn into a disciplinary pending the results of the investigation).

If it seems serious, you might have a decision to make, and you can potentially dismiss before the crown court appearance depending on the nature of the charge and the nature of your business - criminal and employment law are two separate spheres, and a 'not guilty' doesn't necessarily mean he keeps his job.

The first step is probably to make contact to ask him what has happened, and to say that you've heard from his family there is a crown court appearance scheduled.

Regarding the rest of the team, you might want to say he has failed to turn in to work, and has not explained why. His family called in, but you have yet to make contact with him. The standard HR approach in this instance is to call the guy and ask why he hasn't phoned in and 'to check he's ok'. Failing to report absence usually triggers an investigation, and you can tell him you're aware he's going to the crown court. WIth any luck he'll fess up to you and/or just quit (assuming it's bad bad shit involving da kidz). If it's something serious but where you're willing to continue his employment, you might want to progress to disciplinary on the grounds of not reporting absence and give a warning with one eye on his court date.

The fact his family have reported an arrest rather than making up something about having the shits suggests it might well be a bad one though.

PM me if you want a bit of advice by all means, but the question you need to ask yourself is what crimes could he be accused of where you are willing for him to keep his job (assuming no prison).

Don't kick a man when he's down ffs.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: drummersaredeaf on July 10, 2020, 02:31:00 PM
Don't kick a man when he's down ffs.

If it's a child porn/abuse arrest...

Like I said, if it's something he can keep his job over then they can manage that too. The first step is fact finding. The fact it's crown court suggests serious though. The alternative is our poster here paying the geezer's wages while allowing him to be off from work and not knowing why. He's well within his rights to phone up and ask what's going on.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 10, 2020, 03:25:38 PM
Sorry, I wasn't clear. He is in custody until his court date. Really hoping something comes out in the local press so we can just be a bit more open about it with staff. Mercifully they're furloughed atm but in a week or two his absence will be obvious.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: earl_sleek on July 10, 2020, 03:34:01 PM
TBH if this happened to one of my employees I'd be making HR deal with as much of it as possible.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 10, 2020, 03:35:00 PM
If he was furloughed, then I'm surprised his family even let you know last week when it was "merely" an arrest, and that they didn't wait until this week when he was charged and remanded.

(Or is it that he wasn't furloughed, but the rest of your staff are?)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: drummersaredeaf on July 10, 2020, 03:43:05 PM
Is he salaried?

You might want to call ACAS for the finer points, but surely if he's still in custody it means he's likely to receive a custodial sentence, in which case you are going to end up sacking him anyway.

If this is your business, the common sense move is to get this boxed off ASAP. It's up to you whether you get him off the payroll while furloughed, but if the furlough is likely to come to an end, you do not want to be paying him. Usually someone failing to turn into work for a few weeks is sufficient grounds to assume they're not coming back. There are procedures and so on, but you not following them isn't likely to be an issue. I can talk you through the procedures if you want, but it's mostly irrelevant.

Given you know he's in custody and have heard it from the family, there's no harm in you telling the rest of the employees. It's up to you really, but I can see why you'd rather be forearmed with the details.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on July 10, 2020, 04:07:32 PM
Can't you go see him  in one of those rooms with soundproof glass and you talk through a phone, and then he starts shouting at you and then the screws drag him away, him all screaming at you?

Don't you want to do that?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on July 10, 2020, 04:19:32 PM
Really hoping something comes out in the local press so we can just be a bit more open about it with staff.

Have you tried googling him?
Also I'd be careful how much you tell the other employees, as little as possible seems like the safest option (also not that difficult given you don't know all that much anyway.) Just something like he won't be in work for the forseeable future and that's all the info you currently have. I certainly wouldn't tell them he's been arrested and is in jail as chances are they already know anyway (you said he shares an acquaintance with another employee? And people talk), and it's better that it didn't come from you in any 'official' capacity just in case there's some confidentiality issues later on, particularly if he's found not guilty.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 10, 2020, 05:13:42 PM
I'd agree with that.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: rack and peanut on July 10, 2020, 05:23:35 PM
Get yourself arrested so you can be his celly, he'll fess up
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Endicott on July 10, 2020, 06:35:20 PM
Then again, it sounds like he's still remanded in custard, which I don't think would be the case for indecent images.

I agree. You could be released on bail with a tag for that, and even for some more serious charges. With strict bail conditions about not going anywhere near your alleged victims of course.

If he's still in custody, there's a chance that either he hasn't had the bail hearing yet (it can take a few weeks to get to this point), or that he has but bail is denied because he's a flight risk. Or it's a serious violent offence, or summink.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 10, 2020, 06:41:16 PM
If it's a child porn/abuse arrest...

Like I said, if it's something he can keep his job over then they can manage that too. The first step is fact finding. The fact it's crown court suggests serious though. The alternative is our poster here paying the geezer's wages while allowing him to be off from work and not knowing why. He's well within his rights to phone up and ask what's going on.

Shouldn't matter really. In a civilised society he would be suspended on pay (because I can imagine it'd be grim for both him and colleagues) until the verdict at which point they can either be found guilty or reinstated. Paid for by the state.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: imitationleather on July 10, 2020, 06:41:56 PM
From having watched every episode of 24 Hours in Police Custody it sounds to me like he's killed someone or got found with a dungeon full o'kids.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Bronzy on July 10, 2020, 07:01:19 PM
He’s been charged with being a breakcore musician
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on July 10, 2020, 07:10:11 PM
He posted on CaB that Graham Linehan had a point.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 10, 2020, 07:17:53 PM
Can I just offer this piece of advice to people: think very fucking carefully about employing people, ever. Ten years of it and there's always something. Once you go down that route, just being their manager represents a good 80% of your job.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Thomas on July 10, 2020, 07:22:27 PM
Can I just offer this piece of advice to people: think very fucking carefully about employing people, ever. Ten years of it and there's always something. Once you go down that route, just being their manager represents a good 80% of your job.

Yeah. I'm always asking my boss for help. 'How does this work?' 'Where do I save that?' 'Do you think I overstated my Excel proficiency on my CV?' Must be a right fucking pain. Also really annoyed her when I was arrested for shipping arms to the Congo.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: imitationleather on July 10, 2020, 07:25:09 PM
Can I just offer this piece of advice to people: think very fucking carefully about employing people, ever. Ten years of it and there's always something. Once you go down that route, just being their manager represents a good 80% of your job.

Just run the power plant by yourself!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on July 10, 2020, 07:25:13 PM
Thelawpages.com might have his case on there when he appears in court, if you know when that is. You can also just email the court in question and ask what the charges are. Pretend you're a journalist if it makes it easier. "Hi, I'm drafting an article on *blank* for publication after the court date and I just want to check the charges.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: drummersaredeaf on July 10, 2020, 07:45:54 PM
Shouldn't matter really. In a civilised society he would be suspended on pay (because I can imagine it'd be grim for both him and colleagues) until the verdict at which point they can either be found guilty or reinstated. Paid for by the state.

Yeah, ok. I've maybe been a bit bullish. But I've been coming from the perspective that at this point it looks like he's done something pretty bad.  And I've given employment law advice to small businesses for a living in the past. While big businesses can absorb the cost of suspension on full pay, it sounds like we're talking a small operation here. The 'not guilty' or charges dropped shouldn't preclude someone from being sacked necessarily either. Maybe that's the case here, maybe not.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 10, 2020, 08:14:05 PM
Small outfit, 5 of us including me and business partner. Really like this guy on a personal level, probably more so than anyone who's ever worked for us, and he's great at his job. Terminating his contract is the last thing I'd want to do, and this couldn't really have come at a worse time due to us just starting to emerge from the company being mothballed for the last 4 months. Need to find out if he's even eligible to receive furlough pay but common sense tells me he won't.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dr Rock on July 10, 2020, 08:30:13 PM
Something to do with dog-fighting, that's my hunch.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on July 10, 2020, 08:38:04 PM
It really could be anything, and a few years of working in a clink has taught me trying to work out what someone is in for is a waste of time, the most unlikely people are in for the most unlikely things.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on July 10, 2020, 09:58:39 PM
I’ve experienced multiple people leaving work with no notice, and I don’t know definitely whether that was someone deciding themselves to quit, gross misconduct/fingers in tills, or crimes unrelated to work.

They’ve all come with an announcement along the lines of “we are letting you know that Ian Dubious will no longer be working at Company with immediate effect. Speak with your line manager if you have any concerns about this”. I’ve no idea what information was given to the line managers in advance, of course. 
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on July 11, 2020, 11:38:56 AM
Something to do with flash-lighting, that's my hunch.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blinder Data on July 11, 2020, 11:44:18 AM
non stop dancer - if you find out what he did, are you gonna tell us? it's all right if not, in fact I'd do the same in your position. probably best to keep schtum until it's a matter of public record

I'm just asking because every time I see there's a new post I'm disappointed that the mystery has not yet been revealed
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: gilbertharding on July 11, 2020, 11:53:06 AM
I’ve experienced multiple people leaving work with no notice, and I don’t know definitely whether that was someone deciding themselves to quit, gross misconduct/fingers in tills, or crimes unrelated to work.

They’ve all come with an announcement along the lines of “we are letting you know that Ian Dubious will no longer be working at Company with immediate effect. Speak with your line manager if you have any concerns about this”. I’ve no idea what information was given to the line managers in advance, of course.


Hmmm. When I had my interview for the job I have now (at the start of a two week holiday from the job I was doing at the time), they asked if I could possibly start right away. I said I would see what I could do. I rang my then employer, who eventually decided that yes, I could forego the four weeks notice in my contract.

It was only a few months later, when I happened to bump into an ex colleague one Saturday morning that I realised they had all been forced to guess the reason I hadn't come back from my holidays.

I mean, it was no skin off my nose at all. In fact, the air of mystery I imagined it gave me was vaguely thrilling.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 11, 2020, 01:35:55 PM
non stop dancer - if you find out what he did, are you gonna tell us? it's all right if not, in fact I'd do the same in your position. probably best to keep schtum until it's a matter of public record

I'm just asking because every time I see there's a new post I'm disappointed that the mystery has not yet been revealed
Fair question, and I don't know tbh. Once it's publicly known I'll provide a broad explanation while leaving out potentially identifying details.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: idunnosomename on July 11, 2020, 01:40:57 PM
Lezzed a swan to attack trains
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 11, 2020, 01:45:38 PM
I was hoping he'd appear in the local magistrates roundup in the paper today but no luck. From what I can gather I think that either meant he pled not guilty and requested a trial by jury, or the crime would warrant a custodial sentence of at least 6 months and is therefore outside the purview of the magistrate Court.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 11, 2020, 05:04:14 PM
Yeah we had one guy was off sick and then just disappeared.

Although something I've seen more commonly in bigger companies with centralised HR departments and a 'bench policy' is people go on and off the sick with physical illness, develop depression and basically be on and off the sick for a long period 6 months to a year until they get papped out. Usually this is because managers have buried their heads in the sand, eventually realising they can't rely on them for work planning and just doling out busywork when they happen to be in and letting HR process eventually deal with it which I'm sure just makes matters worse for the depressed party. Although I know at least one of them was much happier as it forced them to get a better job, which seemed to get the black dog out of them.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on July 11, 2020, 05:13:01 PM
Is the past tense of plead actually " pled"? Asking for a friend.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on July 11, 2020, 05:19:16 PM
It's plod. PC plod that he was, in fact, a bad rapist.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on July 11, 2020, 07:20:52 PM
This thread is getting like Who shot JR?

In fact that may well be what he did... shot JR
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on July 11, 2020, 09:47:40 PM
Julian Rhind-Tutt has been SHOT?!!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 11, 2020, 10:16:22 PM
Driving me fucking mental not being able to find out more about this.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: canadagoose on July 11, 2020, 11:10:47 PM
Maybe he's a spy and his cover has been blown.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on July 11, 2020, 11:17:35 PM
Imagine if the OP turns out to be his employee. Have you been having unlicensed non-stop dance contests in underground car parks lately?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 13, 2020, 09:26:31 PM
Minor update from family member today. Still not letting on what he's accused of but police searched the house while they were there. It's thought that should it come to a custodial sentence, we're talking years rather than months.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dr Rock on July 13, 2020, 09:46:43 PM
Coke dealer.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Goldentony on July 13, 2020, 10:43:42 PM
peoples hands
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Marner and Me on July 13, 2020, 10:56:18 PM
Human Horn
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on July 13, 2020, 10:56:45 PM
Coke dealer.
My guess is drugs or some kind of sex wrong.  Fucksake he is the archetype of a nice, caring, thoughtful person. If it's something horrible I won't know what to think about the world anymore.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Lurker on July 13, 2020, 11:00:12 PM
Coke dealer.

Someone I vaguely knew is doing time for being part of a cocaine smuggling gang. He was the brains of the operation according to the local press. He was in custody prior his trial which is what made me think the OP's employee's crime was dealing coke - especially with his past.

I think it made the local press as soon as he (and others) were charged. Looking at thelawpages, he'll be out in just under three years.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Goldentony on July 13, 2020, 11:19:30 PM
neil young bootlegs, guarantee you, still wont let those go
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on July 13, 2020, 11:44:56 PM
My guess is drugs or some kind of sex wrong. Fucksake he is the archetype of a nice, caring, thoughtful person. If it's something horrible I won't know what to think about the world anymore.

Without wishing to speculate too much some of the most outwardly pleasant, thoughtful and intelligent prisoners I've worked with have been hideous sex offenders. Again though I'd be wary of speculating about your employee's charges too much, there's loads of things you can get a sentence of at least a few years for apart from sex crimes. Drugs and firearms are the most common and obvious but it could be anything. We've had a group in recently who got between 3-5 years for being members of a banned far right group, and you can get a few years for fraud even if it's a first offence.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: holyzombiejesus on August 03, 2020, 08:45:41 PM
Any news?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 03, 2020, 09:27:33 PM
Any news?

Oh my GOD you bawbag. I saw that this thread had been revived and bided my time before reading it in the hope there was a juicy update.

I hope there’s a juicy update, and I’m sorry for calling you a bawbag. I’m incredibly stressed out by COVID.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: pigamus on August 03, 2020, 09:29:12 PM
^ This, bollocks
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: shiftwork2 on August 03, 2020, 10:12:37 PM
Who bumps a 'waiting for big news' thread with 'any news'?  HZJ has committed a crime now.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on August 03, 2020, 10:20:03 PM

Sad news about employee crime thread
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: QDRPHNC on August 03, 2020, 10:26:27 PM
fuck sake
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blue Jam on August 03, 2020, 10:45:31 PM
Go and sit in the public gallery for the trial. Could be a fucking bleak experience mind.

Or just get called up for jury service. They''ll tell you the charges and then you can just tell them you know the defendent and they'll excuse you and you can just go and have a good old shudder of disgust at home.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Alberon on August 03, 2020, 11:08:03 PM
Who bumps a 'waiting for big news' thread with 'any news'?  HZJ has committed a crime now.

Good think it was not me. I was just thinking of this thread earlier today.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 03, 2020, 11:22:32 PM
No news I'm afraid chums. Have definitely considered the public gallery but seems a bit odd.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: holyzombiejesus on August 11, 2020, 08:39:46 PM
Just wanted to apologise for unnecessarily bumping the thread and getting hopes up the other day.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cerys on August 12, 2020, 12:13:10 AM
I see what you did there.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 12, 2020, 02:18:45 AM
I will find you, and I will bump you.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 12, 2020, 11:08:35 AM
Might have news soon.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on August 12, 2020, 11:14:22 AM
You little tease!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: petrilTanaka on August 12, 2020, 11:16:16 AM
I will find you, and I will bump you.

[tag]a corner shop owner pipes up[/tag]
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 12, 2020, 07:11:04 PM
You little tease!
I basically feel like the belle of the ball in this thread. I don't want it to end.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Lurker on August 12, 2020, 07:20:59 PM
Just wanted to apologise for unnecessarily bumping the thread and getting hopes up the other day.

It's okay, I nearly did the same.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 12, 2020, 07:26:25 PM
I basically feel like the belle of the ball in this thread. I don't want it to end.

Bellend of the ball if you spin it out too much. Don’t make me tell you to “read the room”.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 13, 2020, 03:56:30 PM
OK, will be light on the specifics to stop inadvertently doxing myself here, but yeah it's a child sex offence of some description, teenage specifically. Kind of what I had in mind really. I don't actually have the sordid details to report, but what I do know is that he served time for another sexual offence some years ago.

I remember telling him about the Michael Jackson documentary, which he claimed not to have seen, and he must have been thinking to himself "Good on you, Jacko".

I thought he was a bit of a dirty bollocks, but just in a high sex drive, plenty of opportunity on the modern sex apps kind of way. Just can't imagine him doing anything harmful to anyone at all, but there you go.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: badaids on August 13, 2020, 04:13:36 PM
OK, will be light on the specifics to stop inadvertently doxing myself here, but yeah it's a child sex offence of some description, teenage specifically. Kind of what I had in mind really. I don't actually have the sordid details to report, but what I do know is that he served time for another sexual offence some years ago.

I remember telling him about the Michael Jackson documentary, which he claimed not to have seen, and he must have been thinking to himself "Good on you, Jacko".

I thought he was a bit of a dirty bollocks, but just in a high sex drive, plenty of opportunity on the modern sex apps kind of way. Just can't imagine him doing anything harmful to anyone at all, but there you go.

I see.  I didn't realise you were high up in the English Cricket Board.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 13, 2020, 04:55:14 PM
Higher than you can imagine. I'm the one who got Botham the lordship.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: QDRPHNC on August 13, 2020, 05:01:18 PM
Lord Beefy.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on August 13, 2020, 06:50:20 PM
At last we know. Turns out he’s a sex offender that’s a relief.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Better Midlands on August 13, 2020, 07:01:09 PM
Great, another CAB peado thread.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 13, 2020, 08:19:35 PM
OK, will be light on the specifics to stop inadvertently doxing myself here, but yeah it's a child sex offence of some description, teenage specifically. Kind of what I had in mind really. I don't actually have the sordid details to report, but what I do know is that he served time for another sexual offence some years ago.

I remember telling him about the Michael Jackson documentary, which he claimed not to have seen, and he must have been thinking to himself "Good on you, Jacko".

I thought he was a bit of a dirty bollocks, but just in a high sex drive, plenty of opportunity on the modern sex apps kind of way. Just can't imagine him doing anything harmful to anyone at all, but there you go.

Why have you told us? The blue balls this thread was giving me was the only entertainment I've had in weeks.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Mollusk on August 13, 2020, 11:18:05 PM
That really depends on how much you upset the police or how puritanical your local force is. Some of them have more or less said they're not going to touch users. Some have hinted they'll even turn a blind eye to personal growth.

Unrelated to the mystery being solved but just for the record I think this is fucking ridiculous. I had a growth on my back which I ignored for years and it turned out to be an abscess. I sorely regretted not getting it looked at because it was fucking horrible when it eventually burst!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cerys on August 14, 2020, 12:44:04 AM
Weird - I was expecting it to be a shell.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 14, 2020, 08:28:11 PM
Right, so we're basically looking at raping an underage teenager. He's served time for it previously and I have reason to believe he might even have been banged up twice for it. What a horrible cunt and a very weird feeling to know he pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. Really liked the guy, very charismatic and easy to get on with, which I guess is how he gains trust.

Now here's the thing. While trying to find out about what he'd done when I first got wind of this, I stumbled across a Facebook post from years ago where somebody mentioned somebody with the same name (and now I know for sure it's him) having committed a similar crime, asking the local paper why they didn't run the story, presumably because it effected them personally. I'm thinking about whether to get in touch and apprise them of this news. On the one hand it could be very triggering, but on the other hand it could maybe give comfort to know he's back inside. What do you reckon? I'm probably erring on the side of not doing so.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Annie Labuntur on August 14, 2020, 09:39:05 PM
Right, so we're basically looking at raping an underage teenager. He's served time for it previously and I have reason to believe he might even have been banged up twice for it. What a horrible cunt and a very weird feeling to know he pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. Really liked the guy, very charismatic and easy to get on with, which I guess is how he gains trust.

Now here's the thing. While trying to find out about what he'd done when I first got wind of this, I stumbled across a Facebook post from years ago where somebody mentioned somebody with the same name (and now I know for sure it's him) having committed a similar crime, asking the local paper why they didn't run the story, presumably because it effected them personally. I'm thinking about whether to get in touch and apprise them of this news. On the one hand it could be very triggering, but on the other hand it could maybe give comfort to know he's back inside. What do you reckon? I'm probably erring on the side of not doing so.

Perhaps they'll find out anyway. I don't think you should risk getting in touch, especially because that post is years old. Apart from the possibility, as you say, of triggering, it might even seem to someone vulnerable that you could be a close mate of his getting in touch to mess with their head. Can of worms etc.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on August 14, 2020, 10:19:20 PM
Agree with Annie L that best not to get in touch initially . The poster who made the reference to the old offence seems to be upset that the offender was not publicly shamed at the time. The fact that your employee was prosecuted  (albeit probably not sufficiently sentenced) really should be enough. I am sure the sentence this time around will be ramped up and newsworthy and get back to that poster so maybe wait till trial and if guilty sentence so you can send a simple link to a news story just in case.
Also the delay will enable the CaB mob to get together to grab the pitchforks and set the torches ablaze ready to seek out NSD and his workplace in order to raze it to the ground... employing a paedo so guilty by association.... burn him!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Mister Six on August 15, 2020, 12:10:05 AM
That really depends on how much you upset the police or how puritanical your local force is. Some of them have more or less said they're not going to touch users. Some have hinted they'll even turn a blind eye to personal growth.

That's good, because I've been doing a lot of meditating.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on August 15, 2020, 09:35:28 AM
Agree with Annie L that best not to get in touch initially . The poster who made the reference to the old offence seems to be upset that the offender was not publicly shamed at the time. The fact that your employee was prosecuted  (albeit probably not sufficiently sentenced) really should be enough. I am sure the sentence this time around will be ramped up and newsworthy and get back to that poster so maybe wait till trial and if guilty sentence so you can send a simple link to a news story just in case.
Also the delay will enable the CaB mob to get together to grab the pitchforks and set the torches ablaze ready to seek out NSD and his workplace in order to raze it to the ground... employing a paedo so guilty by association.... burn him!

Definitely don't want to do anything before the trial. It could well be the press are waiting for that themselves?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 15, 2020, 09:38:37 AM
Quote
Right, so we're basically looking at raping an underage teenager

Don't you think they might get cross?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on August 15, 2020, 10:30:28 AM
Possibly a tad OTT but as an employer you might consider DBS (Disclosure and Barring Service) checks for future employees. Although the cost is relatively minor for bigger companies, with some places making job applicants bear the cost themselves, I am guessing your place is an SME?

As they say at my place (A huge US mega corp) depends on your appetite for risk.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 15, 2020, 10:47:46 AM
I say don’t bother with DBS checks and don’t look at the world in black and white. Your employee is a child rapist, yes, but he is also excellent at his job. Both of this things can be true at once.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: RenegadeScrew on August 15, 2020, 11:34:32 AM
Yeah if he's got internet access in prison he could even work from his cell.  It's preferable to have employees in prison as at least you know they aren't active criminals.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on August 15, 2020, 11:44:23 AM
Yeah if he's got internet access in prison he could even work from his cell.  It's preferable to have employees in prison as at least you know they aren't active criminals.

Not sure they let child rapists loose on the web in prison. Of course times may be different and conditions inside really are the holiday camps that the Daily Mail likes to portray.

Having said that I am sure NSD’s employee will be getting his just deserts as a two time sex beast in gaol.

I used to work with a guy who used the fantastically descriptive saying “it’s so hot I’m sweating like a paedophile on his first night in prison”
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: jobotic on August 15, 2020, 03:16:12 PM
Don't you get put on a nonce/paedo wing?

You probably sweat on the first night because of the big chilli party they have to welcome newcomers.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Mollusk on August 15, 2020, 04:06:01 PM
Don't you get put on a nonce/paedo wing?

“Nonce” is an acronym for “not on normal courtyard exercise” isn’t it? The diddlers aren’t let out with the rest of the prisoners for fear of them getting chibbed up.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: jobotic on August 15, 2020, 04:12:57 PM
This is proper prison talk.

Ooh vicarious thrills. You slags!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 15, 2020, 04:35:49 PM
Well he's evidently been inside for a decent spell before so he'll know what to expect, and frankly if he's on the sex offender's wing with likeminded people he'll be the life and soul of the party, as much as you can be in such a scenario.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Mollusk on August 15, 2020, 05:22:59 PM
Make sure he gets himself acquainted with this. (https://youtu.be/qE5sxADDhew?t=101)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Johnny Yesno on August 15, 2020, 05:52:48 PM
“Nonce” is an acronym for “not on normal courtyard exercise” isn’t it?

That sounds like a backronym to me.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on August 15, 2020, 06:01:33 PM
“Nonce” is an acronym for “not on normal courtyard exercise” isn’t it? The diddlers aren’t let out with the rest of the prisoners for fear of them getting chibbed up.

I've heard it's 'not of normal criminal enterprise', but I dunno how true either are. I'm sure I've seen cocker-nee gangster films where they used it just as a general insult rather than implying they were a paedo, so who knows.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: chveik on August 15, 2020, 06:03:16 PM
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xYA-u52rGXQ/hqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 15, 2020, 06:08:58 PM
I used to chat Beatles with him. Where on earth will I find a replacement companion for such a fringe interest?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: FredNurke on August 15, 2020, 06:18:58 PM
I've heard it's 'not of normal criminal enterprise', but I dunno how true either are. I'm sure I've seen cocker-nee gangster films where they used it just as a general insult rather than implying they were a paedo, so who knows.

OED (first quot. 1971) disclaims any certainty, but posits a connection to 'nance' (variant of 'nancy'), or possibly to an east midlands dialect word 'nonse' meaning 'good-for-nothing'. However, Jonathon Green's dictionary of slang has a marginally earlier (1970) quotation:
Quote
‘Nonces’ is short for ‘nonsenses’: sex cases, professional mental patients who live in a world of their own, they never really talk to anyone.

I reckon this just might be right.

Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Hand Solo on August 15, 2020, 06:21:52 PM
I used to chat Beatles with him. Where on earth will I find a replacement companion for such a fringe interest?

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=7682
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on August 15, 2020, 06:30:33 PM
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xYA-u52rGXQ/hqdefault.jpg)

Never fails to make me laugh.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 15, 2020, 07:16:07 PM
https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=7682
What a magical time that was.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on August 15, 2020, 08:59:58 PM
If the OP did a jig while putting a cap in his employee’s ass and head, would he be a nonce-stop dancer?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on August 16, 2020, 03:09:32 AM
https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=7682

Had a bit of a read over at his forum. Seems he is off the register now and had the covid earlier this year.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Hand Solo on August 16, 2020, 03:17:52 AM
Had a bit of a read over at his forum. Seems he is off the register now and had the covid earlier this year.

Holy cack, I just checked and he does indeed have his own forum. Disgraced personalities seem to be adept at creating their own catered social media platform eg Glindr etc. What is that about? Well, I know what it's about...
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Chedney Honks on August 16, 2020, 07:53:55 AM
I used to chat Beatles with him. Where on earth will I find a replacement companion for such a fringe interest?

Surely you can still just visit the guy down at the prison? He'd probably appreciate the company.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Better Midlands on August 16, 2020, 08:58:24 AM
it's a child sex offence of some description, teenage specifically.......I thought he was a bit of a dirty bollocks

What a horrible cunt and a very weird feeling to know he pulled the wool over everyone's eyes.......very charismatic .....which I guess is how he gains trust

I used to chat Beatles with him

(https://i.imgur.com/gvGwkc4.jpg)

Hiding in plain sight.

Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on August 16, 2020, 09:37:51 AM
Surely you can still just visit the guy down at the prison? He'd probably appreciate the company.
"Right so we're definitely agreeing that the white album is their best effort then? Glad that's settled. So what are you missing most about the outside world then, I bet it's raping teenagers isn't it? I know how much you love that."
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Johnny Yesno on August 16, 2020, 04:56:31 PM
I used to chat Beatles with him. Where on earth will I find a replacement companion for such a fringe interest?

Why didn't you mention this vital piece of evidence in the OP? We'd have had the case solved in a single reply.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on August 17, 2020, 01:01:05 PM
Had a bit of a read over at his forum. Seems he is off the register now and had the covid earlier this year.

I remember watching a YouTube video he made a few years back that was about how Harold Shipman wasn't that bad, actually, if you don't pay attention to the media and form your own opinions.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on August 17, 2020, 01:57:57 PM
Most of his posts are about some sleb getting falsely accused of something. There are about 6 regular posters who King. Lots of Maxwell content I haven't bothered to read yet.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Zetetic on August 17, 2020, 02:03:40 PM
I say don’t bother with DBS checks and don’t look at the world in black and white. Your employee is a child rapist, yes, but he is also excellent at his job. Both of this things can be true at once.
This, but unironically.

Depending on the job.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 22, 2020, 06:27:52 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: madhair60 on December 22, 2020, 06:29:36 PM
You probably did it and stitched him up.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: JaDanketies on December 22, 2020, 06:32:59 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

sick fuck. We had a nonce in my social circle getting exposed and jailed for 13 years earlier this year. He would encourage teenagers to send him modelling pictures on social media and then blackmail them so they would send more obscene pictures to him. They found a picture of baby rape on his PC and loads of child porn. He told everyone he was getting arrested for giving coke to a 17-year-old. His former closest friends want to cut his face off when / if he gets out.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on December 22, 2020, 07:26:48 PM
Are you going to recruit for someone else to fill the role?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 22, 2020, 07:54:55 PM
Only if they promise not to turn out to be a sex baddie.

Serious answer, in normal circumstances we would but covid has meant that we've already made one person redundant and his role would likely have gone that way as well.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 22, 2020, 07:58:06 PM
sick fuck. We had a nonce in my social circle getting exposed and jailed for 13 years earlier this year. He would encourage teenagers to send him modelling pictures on social media and then blackmail them so they would send more obscene pictures to him. They found a picture of baby rape on his PC and loads of child porn. He told everyone he was getting arrested for giving coke to a 17-year-old. His former closest friends want to cut his face off when / if he gets out.
Just based on cases I know of personally either abusing or having been abused as children (and that's the ones that are open about their experience), I really dread to think about the prevailance of attraction to children in the general population. Does anyone know what the best estimate is?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: imitationleather on December 22, 2020, 08:01:13 PM
I'm afraid they did a study and found it is 100%.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: madhair60 on December 22, 2020, 08:04:18 PM
What's the margin for error?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 22, 2020, 08:08:31 PM
I'm afraid they did a study and found it is 100%.
Fucksake.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on December 22, 2020, 08:10:58 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

I may have mentioned earlier in the thread but I work in a clink and have a fair amount of experience working with sex offenders, and it's astonishing how consistently normal they can be, but then being extremely manipulative and living behind a facade is par for the course for them. It's the ones that don't get caught that are even more worrying
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Wonderful Butternut on December 22, 2020, 08:12:05 PM
I'm afraid they did a study and found it is 100%.

If you define a child as anyone under 30.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on December 22, 2020, 08:30:16 PM
What's the margin for error?

9 years
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: bgmnts on December 22, 2020, 08:34:36 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

Why didn't you ask whether he was a nonce during the interview stage?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Better Midlands on December 22, 2020, 08:41:55 PM
I'm afraid they did a study and found it is 100%.

Yeah, but that study was done in the breakcore room at Bangface.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 22, 2020, 09:28:42 PM
Why didn't you ask whether he was a nonce during the interview stage?
Look, I just bloody well forgot, OK? I went through all the other types of crimes and he confirmed he was not guilty of them, so I just forgot. Satisfied?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: bgmnts on December 22, 2020, 09:30:53 PM
You weren't at all suspicious that one of his references was called Peter File?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blue Jam on December 22, 2020, 09:34:57 PM
I may have mentioned earlier in the thread but I work in a clink and have a fair amount of experience working with sex offenders, and it's astonishing how consistently normal they can be, but then being extremely manipulative and living behind a facade is par for the course for them. It's the ones that don't get caught that are even more worrying

I once read about a study for which the researcher had interviewed rapists and pretty much all of them had some excuse for why what they did didn't really count as rape, even though when asked to describe what they had done they described having sex with someone without their consent, ie, the legal definition of rape:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/30/health/men-rape-sexual-assault.html

There's also this study of rapists convicted in India and there seems to be a pattern here:

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/12/16/570827107/in-interviews-with-122-rapists-student-pursues-not-so-simple-question-why?t=1608668686031

Ditto for this one where the participants were serving sentences for rape in a Virginia prison:

https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=143963

It looks like a lot of sex offenders somehow convince themselves that what they do is normal and justified and every rational person should understand, or secretly agrees that it's really not as bad or as deserving of punishment as various legal systems make it out to be. Something comparable to the whole "I'm just saying what we're all thinking" mentality, but with the idea that all men would rape if they thought they could get away with it. From that New York Times article:

Quote
Most subjects in these studies freely acknowledge nonconsensual sex — but that does not mean they consider it real rape. Researchers encounter this contradiction again and again.

Asked “if they had penetrated against their consent,” said Dr. Koss, the subject will say yes. Asked if he did “something like rape,” the answer is almost always no.

Studies of incarcerated rapists — even men who admit to keeping sex slaves in conflict zones — find a similar disconnect. It’s not that they deny sexual assault happens; it’s just that the crime is committed by the monster over there.

And this is not a sign that the respondents are psychopaths, said Dr. Hamby, the journal editor. It’s a sign that they are human. “No one thinks they are a bad guy,” she said.

There seems to be this mentality that "rapist" is a strong word, a word for men who jump out of the bushes with a knife, not for men who once found themselves a bit horny while a friend was passed out at a party. I think there is a similar thing with child sex offenders, with some evidence from similar research based on interviews where offenders try and justify their crimes with statements like "she was almost legal", "at least it wasn't a ten-year-old", "at least it wasn't a baby" etc.

Could it be possible that these people seem normal because they've convinced themselves they are normal, and it's the people condemning them who are the weird ones? Like the men who think every man would secretly love to have sex with a teenage girl and those who don't are just lying to themselves?

You also see a bit of this in btl comments under news articles- "if there's grass on the pitch", "she knew what she was doing", "this would have been legal in France" etc, not to mention those creeps who feel compelled to post "I think you'll find he's not a paedophile but an ephebophile, actually" when the victim was over a certain age. It makes me wonder how prevalent this mentality really is, and what percentage of the population are a bit noncey or rapey.

I've also seen it argued that rape should be a crime classified by degrees of severity, like murder is in the US, but I think that's a terrible idea that would just be abused by rapists and their lawyers.

Bit of a rambly post there, sorry. Anyone got any more coherent thoughts?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: monkfromhavana on December 22, 2020, 09:50:25 PM
What's the margin for error?

0.1%
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on December 22, 2020, 10:00:25 PM
I once read about a study for which the researcher had interviewed rapists and pretty much all of them had some excuse for why what they did didn't really count as rape, even though when asked to describe what they had done they described having sex with someone without their consent, ie, the legal definition of rape:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/30/health/men-rape-sexual-assault.html

There's also this study of rapists convicted in India and there seems to be a pattern here:

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/12/16/570827107/in-interviews-with-122-rapists-student-pursues-not-so-simple-question-why?t=1608668686031

Ditto for this one where the participants were serving sentences for rape in a Virginia prison:

https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=143963

It looks like a lot of sex offenders somehow convince themselves that what they do is normal and justified and every rational person should understand, or secretly agrees that it's really not as bad or as deserving of punishment as various legal systems make it out to be. Something comparable to the whole "I'm just saying what we're all thinking" mentality, but with the idea that all men would rape if they thought they could get away with it. From that New York Times article:

There seems to be this mentality that "rapist" is a strong word, a word for men who jump out of the bushes with a knife, not for men who once found themselves a bit horny while a friend was passed out at a party. I think there is a similar thing with child sex offenders, with some evidence from similar research based on interviews where offenders try and justify their crimes with statements like "she was almost legal", "at least it wasn't a ten-year-old", "at least it wasn't a baby" etc.

Could it be possible that these people seem normal because they've convinced themselves they are normal, and it's the people condemning them who are the weird ones? Like the men who think every man would secretly love to have sex with a teenage girl and those who don't are just lying to themselves?

You also see a bit of this in btl comments under news articles- "if there's grass on the pitch", "she knew what she was doing", "this would have been legal in France" etc, not to mention those creeps who feel compelled to post "I think you'll find he's not a paedophile but an ephebophile, actually" when the victim was over a certain age. It makes me wonder how prevalent this mentality really is, and what percentage of the population are a bit noncey or rapey.

I've also seen it argued that rape should be a crime classified by degrees of severity, like murder is in the US, but I think that's a terrible idea that would just be abused by rapists and their lawyers.

Bit of a rambly post there, sorry. Anyone got any more coherent thoughts?

I was thinking that another example of what you mention in btl comments is people who seem to think child abuse is ok if the abuser is a female and the victim is a boy. Child abuse is child abuse no matter the gender of the abuser or the victim.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blue Jam on December 22, 2020, 10:26:52 PM
I was thinking that another example of what you mention in btl comments is people who seem to think child abuse is ok if the abuser is a female and the victim is a boy. Child abuse is child abuse no matter the gender of the abuser or the victim.

I think the pendulum has swung the other way a bit now, with people calling out any comments along the lines of "I wish my teacher was this fit and she had abused me at school, lucky boy, whuuuuaaaay go on my son" and raging at women who get lenient sentences for abusing boys, while there seems to be more victim-blaming where a male teacher abused a female pupil.

It is a horrible trope that refuses to die though. And in all cases there are people who seem unable to understand that age of consent laws exist partly to protect children from themselves. Just because pubescent teenagers are horned up and hormonal and might want to have sex doesn't mean that an adult should fulfil that desire, or that it wouldn't really be abuse. A teenage boy might consider himself lucky to be abused by a good-looking teacher but might then grow up to realise how fucked up it all was.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: touchingcloth on December 23, 2020, 12:23:21 AM
I think the pendulum has swung the other way a bit now, with people calling out any comments along the lines of "I wish my teacher was this fit and she had abused me at school, lucky boy, whuuuuaaaay go on my son" and raging at women who get lenient sentences for abusing boys, while there seems to be more victim-blaming where a male teacher abused a female pupil.

It is a horrible trope that refuses to die though. And in all cases there are people who seem unable to understand that age of consent laws exist partly to protect children from themselves. Just because pubescent teenagers are horned up and hormonal and might want to have sex doesn't mean that an adult should fulfil that desire, or that it wouldn't really be abuse. A teenage boy might consider himself lucky to be abused by a good-looking teacher but might then grow up to realise how fucked up it all was.

I think there’s a mental disconnect have between age of consent and age of fertility. I don’t think in purely evolutionary terms there’s anything pathological about being attracted to people who have just reached puberty, but we’ve long since passed the stage as a species where sex is something which takes place on those purely evolutionary terms without any application of reason. As a crude analogy, just because seven year olds can climb up chimneys that doesn’t mean we should think about changing labour laws to let people employee them as sweeps.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Uncle TechTip on December 23, 2020, 12:57:59 AM
Something similar happened at our place just the other month, someone in another team - one day we hear he won't be working with us on this thing in a meeting, and his out of office says abruptly he's not here any more. Rumours fly that the police have his works laptop and phone. But then, a few weeks later, we hear he's back at work - however he is not allowed to use a computer. Which, working in IT, would seem to be difficult. I think he's visiting sites and fixing printers. No idea if it's employer or police enforcing this rule. No idea why - for once that seems to be not widely known as gossip.

In fact, it also happened a couple of years ago but much more suddenly - was working with a payroll chief who liked to dress smart, had a nice car. Young and unattached, we thought. He'd been having odd days away then one day announced to his team he's off on a sudden two week holiday abroad. We get a week or so into the holiday, then a colleague ushers me over and says "look at this" - shows me a news article, Man jailed for payroll scam - I'm nodding, going 'ok, and...?'. He scrolls down with brilliant timing to reveal our holidaying workmate, slowly emerging from the bottom of the page, until fully revealed, in a classic police mugshot. All the time he'd been sitting in a trial and hoping it would end well.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on December 23, 2020, 11:46:12 AM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

If he ever does get out, I wonder if he will try to get into the workplace again and ask you for a reference.

"He left due to being found guilty of being a small bean regarder, an unabummer, a nut administrator"
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on December 23, 2020, 11:59:55 AM
If he ever does get out, I wonder if he will try to get into the workplace again and ask you for a reference.

"He left due to being found guilty of being a small bean regarder, an unabummer, a nut administrator"

An officer at my work was fired for having a relationship with a serving prisoner and smuggling in sim cards for him. A few weeks later she emailed her former boss and another colleague to ask for references. I've no idea what she thought they were going to say but I don't think she'd have liked it.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Cuellar on December 23, 2020, 12:09:16 PM
not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030

Who is!!
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: rack and peanut on December 23, 2020, 12:43:06 PM
Look, I just bloody well forgot, OK? I went through all the other types of crimes and he confirmed he was not guilty of them, so I just forgot. Satisfied?

You've got to admit a name like Nonce Top Dancer is going to attract people like this.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blinder Data on December 23, 2020, 12:56:14 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

would it be too much to ask you for a news article/court report on the guy? happy to receive as PM.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Johnny Yesno on December 23, 2020, 03:10:32 PM
You probably did it and stitched him up.

covid has meant that we've already made one person redundant and his role would likely have gone that way as well.

Aaahhh. Say no more. *Taps side of nose*
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: petrilTanaka on December 23, 2020, 04:07:41 PM
An officer at my work was fired for having a relationship with a serving prisoner and smuggling in sim cards for him. A few weeks later she emailed her former boss and another colleague to ask for references. I've no idea what she thought they were going to say but I don't think she'd have liked it.

probably a mandatory requirement for the new job. and there's legal limits on what can be put in these references. It'll mostly confirm what her job title was, the main responsibilities and when she was there. maybe a very tactful hint at dismissal
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: The Lurker on December 23, 2020, 06:31:55 PM
In fact, it also happened a couple of years ago but much more suddenly - was working with a payroll chief who liked to dress smart, had a nice car. Young and unattached, we thought. He'd been having odd days away then one day announced to his team he's off on a sudden two week holiday abroad. We get a week or so into the holiday, then a colleague ushers me over and says "look at this" - shows me a news article, Man jailed for payroll scam - I'm nodding, going 'ok, and...?'. He scrolls down with brilliant timing to reveal our holidaying workmate, slowly emerging from the bottom of the page, until fully revealed, in a classic police mugshot. All the time he'd been sitting in a trial and hoping it would end well.

Fair play, you have to respect that hustle
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Uncle TechTip on December 23, 2020, 09:15:36 PM
Should have been clear, it was at his previous employer. Seemed like he'd left and tried to make a new start. But nobody at our place had any clue what was happening until that brilliant scroll of the wheel.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Voltan (Man of Steel) on December 24, 2020, 06:32:52 PM
The chap whose job I took over many years ago had apparently told his manager that he needed to take a few days off at short notice to look after an ill relative. A week or two later a family member contacted the manager to say that he’d in fact been sentenced to six months for fraud so wouldn’t be returning.

Fast forward five years and I was carrying out a food hygiene inspection in a care home and the owner introduced himself. He said he used to work in environmental health but had “made a couple of mistakes” and decided to leave. He skipped over the prison bit but confirmed he was the same person. As I was leaving I had to squeeze past his £120,000+ Bentley to get into my Nissan Sunny.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: timebug on December 25, 2020, 09:57:51 AM
Bloke who worked with a good friend of mine suddenly had a haircut. He had always had a long pony tail,and one day he appeared with a 'short back and sides'. None of his colleagues knew or suspected anything. Next thing, it appears he is up in court for owning thousands of images of child porn,and is known in his local area as a potenial paedophile. He got a serious jail sentence, and none of his colleagues had suspected anything for the three years previous, when he had worked alongside them.
The haircut,along with an unexpected suit and tie,was of course on the suggestion of his brief, to make him appear more 'respectable' for his court appearance.
I had met him twice and he seemed like a normal decent bloke. Very well read and an interesting talker on a wide range of topics.
Everyone was surprised at his crime(s) but as usual, do we expect villains to wear a hat saying 'evil fucker' or what?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Junket Pumper on December 27, 2020, 07:59:21 AM
sick fuck. We had a nonce in my social circle getting exposed and jailed for 13 years earlier this year. He would encourage teenagers to send him modelling pictures on social media and then blackmail them so they would send more obscene pictures to him.

I think sextortion is one of the fastest growing, and terrifying crimes imaginable. There was a recent case in America where the perp was sentenced to 50 years, and one about 5 years ago where the cunt got a 105 year sentence.

A British man named David Wilson recently plead guilty to this and awaits sentencing, the NCA said he contacted over 5 thousand kids and had hundreds of victims who actually sent pictures, and he even forced some to abuse their younger siblings.  He was only caught because Facebook's algorithm somehow spotted his noncing and they informed the police who tracked him down. Worryingly Facebook are planning on encrypting their messenger service, meaning such crimes might never be detected.

I think anyone with young kids should be speaking to them about such dangers, though many adults can be victims too.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on December 28, 2020, 10:20:12 PM
Nonce. Teenagers. Third custodial sentence and not likely to see the outside world this side of 2030. Of all the mad shit to happen this year, this is by far the maddest. Just can't believe he's capable of it.

Must be very odd for the rest of your team as well. Given the nature of his crimes, I presume none of you will keep in touch with him/visit him etc.

I also assume he went straight from court to prison. Do prisons do anything for Christmas e.g. a special lunch? Or is it the same as every other day inside?

I understand the reason for nonce wings, so the other prisoners don't attack them, but I do wonder if it allows sex offenders to learn from each other and share sickening advice. I don't know what the alternative is though, solitary 23 hours a day? They'd be killing each other during the exercise hour.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Junket Pumper on December 28, 2020, 10:30:07 PM
I think solitary is illegal in the UK apart from exceptional circumstances, it would be very expensive as it would double the amount of cells needed. It's true that nonces do swap stories and tips about crimes but I'm pretty sure all prisoners do that.

Regarding nonce wings one of the worst must be the food. You either eat standard meals and risk consuming broken glass, piss, and or shit or subside on anything that can't be contaminated by other inmates, like hard boiled eggs.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on December 28, 2020, 10:36:22 PM
I also assume he went straight from court to prison. Do prisons do anything for Christmas e.g. a special lunch? Or is it the same as every other day inside?


At my work there is a Christmas dinner but it's not great, imagine a cheap school dinner version of Christmas dinner. There's not much else different from other days, and obviously it varies between prisons but it can mean even more bang up than usual as there's invariably less staff around, which this year is even worse than usual as a lot of prisons have been on near 23 hours since March already because of Covid.

I understand the reason for nonce wings, so the other prisoners don't attack them, but I do wonder if it allows sex offenders to learn from each other and share sickening advice.

Sadly this is exactly the case. As you went on to say though the alternative is either permanent solitary, which is both unfeasible logistically and also not in line with what's considered humane, or putting them with the general population, which would basically be the same.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: chveik on December 28, 2020, 10:42:47 PM
prison overcrowding might be partly responsible for that state of affair.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Junket Pumper on December 28, 2020, 10:48:08 PM
Sadly this is exactly the case. As you went on to say though the alternative is either permanent solitary, which is both unfeasible logistically and also not in line with what's considered humane, or putting them with the general population, which would basically be the same.

Are they allowed to bug nonces cells en masse?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: chveik on December 28, 2020, 10:50:38 PM
pretty sure that would be a violation of their basic human rights
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: gib on December 28, 2020, 10:51:39 PM
surely a diet of just hard boiled eggs would have consequences
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Dex Sawash on December 28, 2020, 11:18:23 PM
surely a diet of just hard boiled eggs would have noncequences

Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Junket Pumper on December 28, 2020, 11:20:10 PM
surely a diet of just hard boiled eggs would have consequences

Lol
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Pingers on December 29, 2020, 09:36:21 AM
Bloke who worked with a good friend of mine suddenly had a haircut. He had always had a long pony tail,and one day he appeared with a 'short back and sides'. None of his colleagues knew or suspected anything. Next thing, it appears he is up in court for owning thousands of images of child porn,and is known in his local area as a potenial paedophile. He got a serious jail sentence, and none of his colleagues had suspected anything for the three years previous, when he had worked alongside them.
The haircut,along with an unexpected suit and tie,was of course on the suggestion of his brief, to make him appear more 'respectable' for his court appearance.
I had met him twice and he seemed like a normal decent bloke. Very well read and an interesting talker on a wide range of topics.
Everyone was surprised at his crime(s) but as usual, do we expect villains to wear a hat saying 'evil fucker' or what?

To be fair, the ponytail should have been a dead giveaway. "Going equipped for noncing", as the Sexual Offences Act has it.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 29, 2020, 11:48:50 AM
Must be very odd for the rest of your team as well. Given the nature of his crimes, I presume none of you will keep in touch with him/visit him etc.
No chance at all of keeping in touch, we all feel that a) he's a disgusting, repeat sex offending cunt and b) we all feel personally duped by him as well.

That being said, part of me would be so interested to have a conversation with him, as I'd like to know how he justifies it to himself. What about us and his other friends - does he actually like people or are they just proving cover for him by making him seem normal? So many questions really. What really fascinates me is thinking back to conversations we had covering this exact kind of thing. The Michael Jackson documentary springs to mind. He claimed not to have seen it, but it some of the descriptions of what he allegedly did would have been proper wank fodder for him, and he'd have actually been on Jackson's side. What about Jimmy Saville - was he a hero of his or was what he did beyond the pale?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Pingers on December 29, 2020, 12:29:40 PM
No chance at all of keeping in touch, we all feel that a) he's a disgusting, repeat sex offending cunt and b) we all feel personally duped by him as well.

That being said, part of me would be so interested to have a conversation with him, as I'd like to know how he justifies it to himself. What about us and his other friends - does he actually like people or are they just proving cover for him by making him seem normal? So many questions really. What really fascinates me is thinking back to conversations we had covering this exact kind of thing. The Michael Jackson documentary springs to mind. He claimed not to have seen it, but it some of the descriptions of what he allegedly did would have been proper wank fodder for him, and he'd have actually been on Jackson's side. What about Jimmy Saville - was he a hero of his or was what he did beyond the pale?

If it helps, such a conversation would be extremely unlikely to increase your understanding. Sex offenders put a whole lot of mental energy into rationalising their actions to excuse themselves of any culpability, effectively creating an entirely different reality in their minds. They are also very practised at lying and misleading. So even if you did have an in-depth conversation with him, it might all be total bollocks. Best left to the psychs.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Blinder Data on December 29, 2020, 12:35:56 PM
there's a really good podcast called Hunting Warhead about journalist/police efforts to ensnare dark web paedos. they interview the main guy at the end and while it's interesting to hear it from the horse's mouth, you don't glean much. lots of self-pity and justification despite a truly monstrous rap sheet. better insights come from the people who knew him.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Non Stop Dancer on December 29, 2020, 01:30:41 PM
If it helps, such a conversation would be extremely unlikely to increase your understanding. Sex offenders put a whole lot of mental energy into rationalising their actions to excuse themselves of any culpability, effectively creating an entirely different reality in their minds. They are also very practised at lying and misleading. So even if you did have an in-depth conversation with him, it might all be total bollocks. Best left to the psychs.
Yeah, I don't think for a second I'd get the truth from him. I suspect he just believes that the boy he had sex with was "willing" and sex is good, so what's the problem? To him rape would only apply to the jumping out of a hedge and putting a knife to your throat variety.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on December 29, 2020, 04:02:20 PM
there's a really good podcast called Hunting Warhead about journalist/police efforts to ensnare dark web paedos. they interview the main guy at the end and while it's interesting to hear it from the horse's mouth, you don't glean much. lots of self-pity and justification despite a truly monstrous rap sheet. better insights come from the people who knew him.

Listening to that podcast now, just started Episode 5. I'm very surprised that the main nonce can make calls from his cell. It's interesting to consider how far law enforcement should be able to go when they are digitally undercover* amongst these people as they discuss in Episode 3.

*Is that the best way of phrasing it?
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: evilcommiedictator on January 12, 2021, 12:19:39 AM
Was your employee this guy?
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EraC3FAWMAEm7Xh?format=jpg&name=small)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: holyzombiejesus on January 12, 2021, 02:14:23 AM
and the victim....

(https://scontent.flhr4-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/60164_10151057862960267_498250699_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=2&_nc_sid=ba80b0&_nc_ohc=nzdO5pVKny4AX9zGHHc&_nc_ht=scontent.flhr4-1.fna&oh=2cb869fa2e30d28270162d609fb754c4&oe=60225DEC)
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Sonny_Jim on January 12, 2021, 06:24:25 AM
Being a bit coy with the headline there, although you can see why they didn't go with 'He fucked my dog instead of me!' for the front page.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: Paul Calf on January 12, 2021, 10:15:33 AM
What's the margin for error?

I'm afraid they did a study and found it is 100%.
Title: Re: Let's speculate on what crime my employee committed
Post by: icehaven on January 12, 2021, 11:50:19 AM
If it helps, such a conversation would be extremely unlikely to increase your understanding. Sex offenders put a whole lot of mental energy into rationalising their actions to excuse themselves of any culpability, effectively creating an entirely different reality in their minds. They are also very practised at lying and misleading. So even if you did have an in-depth conversation with him, it might all be total bollocks. Best left to the psychs.

Yep, a couple of years ago in one of my reading groups we very unusually ended up talking about why they were in prison, and one guy (who shortly afterwards got a whopping sentence, something like 30 years) said "Arguably all I did was press keys on a computer." because he'd not actually performed abuse himself, he'd blackmailed and groomed others over the internet. Well that's what there was evidence of anyway, hard to imagine he'd never done anything physically himself, although if not that might have partly been how he justified it to himself