Cook'd and Bomb'd Mafia: Blodwyn's Island Day 1

[BlodwynPig]

A pall hangs over the picturesque island of Jersey, an ill wind blows from the Continent.

Where the Channel Islands' finest milkers once roamed, now a sense of malaise and dreadful anticipation infects the sleepy villages and affluent towns.

A darkness unseen since Adolf Hitler arrived by dinghy back in 1941. A fear not felt since Jimmy Savile inveigled himself as head Gardner at Haut de la Garenne). A new menace threatens to destroy the peace and minds of all who hold the "Jewel of Mor Breizh" close to their hearts.

An influx of nefarious characters who operate by stealth and cunning, wit and brutality, has unsettled the island-folk. Now, since Jersey's finest police subdivision "The Bureau de Etrangers" has dwindled in power, having only to deal with petty theft and ghostly arson, it is up to YOU the town folk of St. Helier to find the means to rid your home of this abominable threat.

Can you overcome this existential threat, or will evil make Jersey its permanent home, once more?

Will the fishing boats bob on the gentle tides, or will the Minotaur rampage in the bays and coves?
Will the cows return to the pasture this spring, or will Toad! RISE and make the fields his domain?
Will church bells ring merrily amidst the hustle and bustle of quaint village streets, or will Hobo lurk in the shadows, snatching children and menacing grannies?
Will tourists flock to see the old castle ruins and buy ice creams on the pristine beaches, or will Mungo the Otter sow disease and excrement across the island?


Game day 1 begins now and will end at 10 PM Friday Night Jersey time (24 hours). If you are in another timezone, it will be at this time: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?msg=CaB+Mafia+3+Day+1+Nightfall&iso=20200515T22&p1=712

The rules are posted in the sign-up thread here:

Here is your player list. You've all been assigned a character that fits the theme of the game, but these have been generated randomly and are only for flavour (they have no intended relationship with your alignment or power role.)

1. Kryton
2. Buelligan
3. Dr. Greggles
4. Paul Calf
5. Rizla
6. Cerys
7. Cuellar
8. Delete Delete Delete
9. Prison Biscuits
10. Madhair
11. Ferris
12. Drummersaredeaf
13. JimBob
14. Rue the Polywhirl
15. Gib
16. This isnt witty sorry

The evil creeps close...

[Cuellar]

Does anyone else want to start? I feel a bit awkward doing it. Last thing I want to do is stick my head over a Jerseyan mock-Tudor parapet (if that's what they have there). Does anyone want to share their name? Or is that a bit forward.

[Buelligan]

Bonjour, I am Danielle Aubry, delighted to meet you.

[Cerys]

Well, then ... um, bonjour Mlle Aubry.  Je m'appelle Charlie.  Mind if I have a cigar?

[Ferris]

Salut! Je suis Philippa Vale, master diamond thief and cock-tease extraordinaire, apparently.

I'm ready to find some baddies, though admittedly I know jack shit about Jersey.

[drummersaredeaf]

Alright folks. Do we have to pay tax here?

[Cerys]

Oh, I'm sorry - would either of you ladies like one?  A cigar that is.  Um.  Haha.

[Cuellar]

Sorry I should have shared mine to get the ball rolling shouldn't I. Pleased to meet you, I am Susan Young, estate agent. Unattached (lol! like a house or something). Not currently humping Jim Bergerac but not totally against the idea. Known throughout the island for...my delightful flat just above St Aubin [it says here].

[Delete Delete Delete]

I'm Jim Bergerac. I've never seen Bergrac though.

[Rizla]

Just remembered our school had an assistant drama teacher who had a small part in one of the scary Bergeracs, possibly Fires In the Fall. Anyway I'm Bergerac's ex wife, Deborah. You know, her that was Bouquet Of Barbed Wire.

[Paul Calf]

What a lovely evening here in St.Helier. I'll be talking advantage of the marvellously unseasonal weather to strike camp in my usual spot near La Rocque Harbour. It's a beautiful thing for a man to sleep under the stars in Spring in Jersey's wonderful climate.

[Prison Biscuits]

Marianne Bellshade, island maintenance. Sorry to report some minor subsidence on the East point, but our crew is working hard to maintain equillibrium. Also, if you are journeying to the North Pier, a word of warning, there is some highly unusual magnetic activity there, would not recommend wearing anything metal.

[BlodwynPig]

***MOD POST***

This is a game that requires you use your imagination. No more 'faux' ignorance when it comes to not knowing anything about the masterpiece of TV or face sanctions. You are in the game now. Open your minds or your ass will follow.

[Ferris]

Just remembered our school had an assistant drama teacher who had a small part in one of the scary Bergeracs, possibly Fires In the Fall. Anyway I'm Bergerac's ex wife, Deborah. You know, her that was Bouquet Of Barbed Wire.

How could we forget.

Am I going to need to know about Bergerac to be a useful investigator in this?

[drummersaredeaf]

I'm Jim Bergerac. I've never seen Bergrac though.

I'm your secretary, Charlotte. Want any photocopying doing?

[Delete Delete Delete]

I don't even know my Ex Wife. I'm imagining i'm a drunk. Am I drunk?

[Ferris]

^in light of Blod's post, disregard this. I know all about *checks notes* Bergerac, and will make up fact to fit any gaps in my knowledge.

[Paul Calf]

What a lovely evening here in St.Helier. I'll be talking advantage of the marvellously unseasonal weather to strike camp in my usual spot near La Rocque Harbour. It's a beautiful thing for a man to sleep under the stars in Spring in Jersey's wonderful climate.

And pardon my rudeness; my name is Inspector Deffand, once a policeman but now long retired from the game.

[Buelligan]

I don't even know my Ex Wife. I'm imagining i'm a drunk. Am I drunk?

Of course you're not a drunk, crazy Jim!  You're still incredibly desirable with your throbbing red Triumph Roadster and rolled up sleeves.

No thanks on the cigar, Charlie, I don't like the cheap ones.  A charming thought though.

[BlodwynPig]

How could we forget.

Am I going to need to know about Bergerac to be a useful investigator in this?

Edit: saw your follow up post

[Cerys]

I don't even know my Ex Wife. I'm imagining i'm a drunk. Am I drunk?

You'd better not be.  We've been through all that already. 

[Cerys]

I'm going to take a spin around the island on my boat.  Anyone care to join me?

[Prison Biscuits]

I'm going to take a spin around the island on my boat.  Anyone care to join me?

Could you give me a lift to the East Point, je suis late for work et mon crew is waiting for me to get there so we can start putting joists in under the cliffs.

[Ferris]

I'm going to take a spin around the island on my boat.  Anyone care to join me?

Ooh yes please!

[Buelligan]

Me too!  I would love to join you Charlie.  Peut-être we will discover a dead body.  We must find something to distract Jim before he starts

Spoiler alert

drinking

[close]

again!

[Buelligan]

*whispers*  Don't let Phillipa come Charlie, she's a cunt.

[rue the polywhirl]

Hello. DC Terry Wilson here, greeting you all on this rather dismal day. Anyone up for a spot of golf?

[Buelligan]

Are you going with Willy Pettit?  I wonder where he is?

[Delete Delete Delete]

Ive looked in my kitched, all the bottles are empty, any suggestiosn where I hid my Booze?

[Ferris]

Ive looked in my kitched, all the bottles are empty, any suggestiosn where I hid my Booze?

I've a slab of cans in my backpack if you come and get them as I am too lazy to deliver