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Alan Partridge - Big Beacon (New Book)

Started by Malcy, May 11, 2023, 05:28:08 PM

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Just checking, and although she wasn't on her way to any Naval College HRH Princess Anne the Princess Royal didn't have any engagements on 13/04/23

https://www.royal.uk/media-centre/future-engagements

Maurice Yeatman

A couple of highlights from AP's 'My Culture Fix' Q&A in The Times:

The play I walked out of

War Horse. I didn't find the horses realistic and could definitely see people inside.

The last TV programme that made me cry

Doctor Who after a particularly tough Saturday. I'd attended a bake sale to raise money for an extension to the car park ar Royal Norwich Golf Club so members wouldn't have to walk from the overflow behind the ninth, and my cupcakes just hadn't sold. I'd worked really hard on them and even though a few had got squashed in the car and some of the icing had been dragged off, I still thought they were good. When I got home, hungry and deflated, Doctor Who was on, but my assistant had "tidied up", so the remote had gone Awol. There was no way of not watching Doctor Who. I sat down, coat still on, and just wept. Absolutely awful programme.

Captain Z

The full thing:

QuoteAlan Partridge: Taggart is my Friday night treat
Tuesday December 19 2023, 12.01am GMT, The Times
 
The broadcaster lets us into his cultural life, from how he wishes he had written One Hundred Years of Solitude to his view that Dubai is heaven on earth.
 
The book I'm reading
Nothing at the moment as I recently got a TV in my bedroom.
 
The book I wish I had written
While I love all of Shakespeare's works, the book I most wish I'd written is One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez, in the original Spanish.
 
The book I couldn't finish
Delia Smith's Christmas. A lovely book with great photographs and nice paper stock, but it contains too many recipes and lacks a clear narrative arc or unifying theme — and my God, she likes butter. To be fair, Delia holds her hands up. "I f***ed up," she says.
 
The book I'm ashamed I haven't read
Nomad by Alan Partridge. When I finished writing it I was so elated I attached it to an email, whizzed it off to the publishers and only afterwards thought: "I should probably have read that back." To this day I have never read Nomad back.
 
My favourite play
Ali Baba and the Smoggy Thieves by Peter Greaves, a scathing 2022 panto that entertained kids, but also dealt brilliantly with the proposal to extend the Ulez scheme to outer London. Hilarious yet thought-provoking. "The days of widespread car ownership are behind you!" "Oh no, they're not!" Yes, very enjoyable.
 
My favourite film
Would rather not say.
 
The box set that I'm hooked on
Taggart. Some detective series fail because you don't believe serious crimes would take place where they're set — eg Oxfordshire. But Taggart is set in Glasgow, so that's never going to be a problem. On a Friday evening, after I've rung round to see if anyone's free for a drink and they're not, I sit back with a glass of wine, pop the subtitles on and enjoy one to two episodes until I nod off.
 
The lyric I wish I'd written
"As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti," from Africa by Toto. An oddly unflattering simile since Kilimanjaro at 19,341ft is more than twice as high as Olympus at 9,570ft, but it prompted me to spend an afternoon googling the heights of famous mountains. And if the lyric encourages just one child to google the heights of famous mountains, well you cannot ask for more than that.
 
The instrument I play
During a siege in 2013, I was briefly superb at the bass guitar even though I've shown no aptitude for it before or since. These days it's drums. Other than bread-making and Laser Quest, there's no better way to stressbust than playing the drums. I'm not a home drummer — neighbours complained — so if I'm feeling tense I just pop over to a friend's house and hit the kit in his son's bedroom. I'm free to stay as long as I like unless the boy has homework, in which case I'm to limit my sessions to half an hour.
 
The instrument I wish I'd learnt
Would rather not say.
 
The song that saved me
Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen. I heard it played over the end of Tom Hanks's Aids drama Philadelphia and also at Kraft Foods' launch of the low-fat cream cheese Philadelphia Light. I cried on both occasions.
 
The place I feel happiest
Dubai. Heaven. On. Earth.
 
The stage show I'm looking forward to
A friend told me that they're making a stage musical of the film version of the stage musical Cats. If true, I'd love to come along. I'd video it on my iPhone to create a film version of the stage musical of the film version of the stage musical Cats.
 
The play I walked out of
War Horse. I didn't find the horses realistic and could definitely see people inside. I didn't boo, I just finished my crisps, then quietly climbed over a family to get to the aisle and slipped away. When the usher asked me why I was going I said I didn't find the horses realistic and could definitely see the people inside. He said, "Have you tried pretending the people aren't there?" As soon as he said that something clicked. I retook my seat, opened my Minstrels and was absolutely transfixed by Marianne Elliott and Tom Morris's spellbinding production. Bravo.
 
Overrated
Lee Child. His books are masterpieces, but sometimes — not boasting — my idea for what could happen in a fight scene is better than his. For instance, there's one where Jack Reacher knocks someone out with a punch to the jaw whereas I'd have had Jack Reacher use judo because there's no way the baddie would expect that. And there are other examples too.
 
The last TV programme that made me cry
Doctor Who after a particularly tough Saturday. I'd attended a bake sale to raise money for an extension to the car park at Royal Norwich Golf Club so members wouldn't have to walk from the overflow behind the ninth, and my cupcakes just hadn't sold. I'd worked really hard on them and even though a few had got squashed in the car and some of the icing had been dragged off, I still thought they were good. When I got home, hungry and deflated, Doctor Who was on, but my assistant had "tidied up", so the remote had gone Awol. There was no way of not watching Doctor Who. I sat down, coat still on and just wept. Absolutely awful programme

Menu


Maurice Yeatman

Quote from: kalowski on December 09, 2023, 01:07:37 PMLoved that the name of the horse he had shares in was called Northern Ireland Protocol.

All racehorse names have to be restricted to 19 characters, including spaces, so that's Partridge's reality ruined for me.

I've no problem with Trust Me I'm A Stomach, Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon etc though. Go figure.

Ferris

Got to be Zeinab Badawi's Twenty Hotels for me Clive

markburgle

Quote from: Captain Z on December 26, 2023, 10:14:32 PMThe full thing:


The only bit of Alpha Papa that made me go "oh fuck off" was when Alan started playing the bass. This has now totally redeemed it for me

popcorn

Quote from: markburgle on December 28, 2023, 04:31:22 PMThe only bit of Alpha Papa that made me go "oh fuck off" was when Alan started playing the bass. This has now totally redeemed it for me

That bit really stuck out to me as Totally Whack as well. This is interesting, with the joke about Alan never mentioning the lighthouse before in Big Beacon, that's two fourth-wall-breaking Alan jokes now I can think of.

kalowski

Surely the bass playing joke is just pure silliness. The bit in that interview is brilliant but I'm not too fussed into getting upset about that bit in Alpha Papa.
In fact, it was on the other day and we watched it again and loved it.

popcorn

Quote from: kalowski on December 28, 2023, 06:18:40 PMSurely the bass playing joke is just pure silliness.

To me it had profound implications about his character. Previously, with his air drumming and air bass bits in IAP, he'd been someone who only had fantasises of engaging with music. But for that brief moment in the movie he was actually musically creative and skilful. I couldn't really imagine him putting the hundreds of hours in to become a competent bass guitarist, with slap n all. I didn't hate it or anything but I remember thinking "wait, that was huge! this changes things!" but it was treated as a throwaway joke.


Brian Freeze

Well, I finally discovered Nomad and Big Beacon on Spotify and have until 2nd March before I stop paying for premium.

Is there any other Partridge on Spotify for me to binge on before it disappears from this tight fisted twat?

Comment on each book - in Nomad I was very much taken out of the story by the tent/rucksack chat. Very doubtful of his tent fitting at the bottom of his 100l rucksack and then him just picking up the six person one from his mate and setting off like it was nowt bothered me far more than it should.

The awkwardness was very slightly mentioned as an afterthought but I was not having it.

Not wrong am I? (Possibly)

All was forgiven though  when he called his over shoulder carrying device a ruckbag in the next chapter. All my rucksack are now ruckbags.

One of my favourite lines in Big Beacon was about the lady who kicked off because "she'd forgotten not to drink at lunchtime"

That's all my ramblings on the subject. Thanks

Quote from: Brian Freeze on February 06, 2024, 12:51:30 AMin Nomad I was very much taken out of the story by the tent/rucksack chat. Very doubtful of his tent fitting at the bottom of his 100l rucksack and then him just picking up the six person one from his mate and setting off like it was nowt bothered me far more than it should.

Not wrong am I? (Possibly)


If you look at the map, although it's quite fictionalised at that point in the book there's only around 1.9miles between Tony's house and the bowling green. If I recall correctly he then gives up on the tent and just stays in B&Bs thereafter.

Quote from: Average Comedy Enjoyer on July 14, 2023, 10:43:34 PMHere's a Google map with every named location.
Footsteps of my Father walk (that's a clickable link)




My biggest world-breaking bugbears in what is my favourite bit of comedy from the last ten years are the distance he covers in the last two days and how far he gets with a gammy foot

Queen Peach

Quote from: Brian Freeze on February 06, 2024, 12:51:30 AMWell, I finally discovered Nomad and Big Beacon on Spotify and have until 2nd March before I stop paying for premium.

Is there any other Partridge on Spotify for me to binge on before it disappears from this tight fisted twat?

Comment on each book - in Nomad I was very much taken out of the story by the tent/rucksack chat. Very doubtful of his tent fitting at the bottom of his 100l rucksack and then him just picking up the six person one from his mate and setting off like it was nowt bothered me far more than it should.

The awkwardness was very slightly mentioned as an afterthought but I was not having it.

Not wrong am I? (Possibly)

All was forgiven though  when he called his over shoulder carrying device a ruckbag in the next chapter. All my rucksack are now ruckbags.

One of my favourite lines in Big Beacon was about the lady who kicked off because "she'd forgotten not to drink at lunchtime"

That's all my ramblings on the subject. Thanks


they're probably on soulseek

Snrub

Only just finished the written version - I like to read them properly first then go for audiobook after for some odd reason.

One of my favourite Alan tropes in this book - and I only cottoned on to it half way through - was his needlessly almost tabloid style descriptions of food a couple of lines after initially introducing the food normally.

Can't be arsed to look up an actual example, so this will be slightly wrong, but I'm sure at some point he mentions making a spaghetti bolognase, then a few lines later he mentions chowing down on the Italian sauce and pasta based delicacy - or some such more amusingly phrased.

Just really tickled me.

popcorn

#286
Quote from: Snrub on February 10, 2024, 11:30:21 PMOne of my favourite Alan tropes in this book - and I only cottoned on to it half way through - was his needlessly almost tabloid style descriptions of food a couple of lines after initially introducing the food normally.

Can't be arsed to look up an actual example, so this will be slightly wrong, but I'm sure at some point he mentions making a spaghetti bolognase, then a few lines later he mentions chowing down on the Italian sauce and pasta based delicacy - or some such more amusingly phrased.

Just really tickled me.

Yeah, that's a really fucking stupid writing habit called a false title elegant variation, lots of good real-world examples of it on this Twitter account: https://twitter.com/secondmentions?lang=en

The masterful use of elegant variation in Alan's writing is one of the many ways the books are so carefully badly written.

edit: mixed the terms up like an idiot didn't I

Snrub

Quote from: popcorn on February 10, 2024, 11:41:17 PMYeah, that's a really fucking stupid writing habit called a false title, lots of good real-world examples of it on this Twitter account: https://twitter.com/secondmentions?lang=en

The masterful use of the false title in Alan's writing is one of the many ways the books are so carefully badly written.

Ah wow, of course it has a name. I will be down a rabbit hole for that sort of thing now. Thanks!

popcorn

AAAND I'm being a fucking idiot because it's not called a false title at all, it's called elegant variation. A false title is an entirely different annoying tabloid technique, I mixed them up in my idiot bonce.

(Alan uses both!)

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on February 10, 2024, 11:54:38 PMI'm a fucking idiot

Hmm, interesting. Hadn't considered that before but it certainly makes sense.

popcorn

I said I'm being a fucking idiot not I am a fucking idiot.

The difference is massive. For example when you are being a donkey in the Christmas play does that mean you are literally a donkey?

Ferris


Ferris

Spoiler alert
I mean, I'm one of nature's fucking idiots also, so you're in good (bad?) company at least.

I am also, of course, kidding.
[close]

popcorn

Well now you've got CaB's MADDEST MAN !!!!!

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on February 11, 2024, 12:08:26 AMMADDEST MAN

Mental infirmity as well, is it? Oh dear oh dear.

A shame, as I'd always previously valued your posts. Now though? Well, hard to say.

popcorn


Ferris

The first step to recovery is acceptance. The second step is wiring me all your money.

I am praying for better days 4 u 🙏🙏🙏

neveragain


Milo

Quote from: Snrub on February 10, 2024, 11:30:21 PMOnly just finished the written version - I like to read them properly first then go for audiobook after for some odd reason.

One of my favourite Alan tropes in this book - and I only cottoned on to it half way through - was his needlessly almost tabloid style descriptions of food a couple of lines after initially introducing the food normally.

Can't be arsed to look up an actual example, so this will be slightly wrong, but I'm sure at some point he mentions making a spaghetti bolognase, then a few lines later he mentions chowing down on the Italian sauce and pasta based delicacy - or some such more amusingly phrased.

Just really tickled me.

Dual-lensed peeping pipes (not just food).

mippy

Quote from: Average Comedy Enjoyer on December 11, 2023, 03:33:45 PMThere's still an odd balance in BB , OH2+3 and This Time where the Gibbons seem to be using him as a liberal parable since he still fawns over various Tories and hates unions but only achieves personal growth by acknowledging his girlfriend is racist or accidentally turning his cynical fairweather wokeness into real egalitarianism.

The radio ad for Oasthouse season 3 went something like "whether straight, or gay, or he or she or they"

Has it ever been established whether he voted Brexit or not?