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March 02, 2024, 09:32:02 PM

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Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you Mk.II

Started by Benjaminos, March 10, 2020, 08:43:20 AM

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badaids

Quote from: ollyboro on November 19, 2023, 09:12:38 PMMalcolm Tucker opening a box and seeing the message "Happy Birthday Cunt", in icing on top of his cake.

"This could be from anybody".

Yes, this line has never and will never leave me.


badaids


I hate to say it but

"I have dyslexia..."

*gasp* "you can read minds?!"

neveragain



neveragain

Quote from: badaids on November 20, 2023, 05:51:25 PMZoolander.

(I got the first bit wrong is "I'm bulimic").

Ha, think I prefer your version.


Bently Sheds

Quote from: Whatever Happened To Pizza At McDonalds"This time of year is known as the Christmas Season, which is a reference to Jesus - who also went by the name of Chris."

lipsink

In the Thick oF It when they find out the focus group woman is an actor:

Malcolm: "Have you seen Notting Hill, love?"
Glenn: "She's probably fucking in it!"

Probably my favourite line from the whole series.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: lipsink on November 30, 2023, 01:39:20 PMIn the Thick oF It when they find out the focus group woman is an actor:

Malcolm: "Have you seen Notting Hill, love?"
Glenn: "She's probably fucking in it!"

Probably my favourite line from the whole series.

One of my favourite bits is where Jamie's threatening to do keyhole surgery 'with this fucking key' and he can't quite get it out in a slick motion and is fumbling around with them.

Queen Peach


ollyboro

"The police station waiting rooms are as busy as the hedgehog carvery at a gypsy wedding". - Malcolm Tucker.

Really surprised this line was broadcast.

ollyboro

"Did you have to wank into a cup, Graham?" - Colin, 2 Doors Down.

SpiderChrist

The way Dudley Moore says "God" in the Derek and Clive sketch Squatter And The Ant.

famethrowa

Quote from: SpiderChrist on December 07, 2023, 10:57:58 PMThe way Dudley Moore says "God" in the Derek and Clive sketch Squatter And The Ant.

I really like the way Pete mangles the name "Squatter Madras" and it sounds unintelligibly rude.

SpiderChrist

Quote from: famethrowa on December 07, 2023, 11:56:22 PMI really like the way Pete mangles the name "Squatter Madras" and it sounds unintelligibly rude.

"And Squatter said he'd gone because... he'd had to go."

kalowski

Watched a bit of Fry and Laurie last night and this moment really made me chuckle:

S: Hello, can I help you?

H: Yes. Your face, my arse!

S: No, I said, "Can I help you?"

Pink Gregory

Big Mandy in This Country is incredible.

"I DON'T DO SMALL ONES I ONLY DO MASSIVE ONES"

Queen Peach


Mr Banlon


pandadeath


Pink Gregory

last lines of the first episode of This Country

Kurtan, after being banned from the scarecrow competition - "I don't give a fuck Ker, because, vegetable competition's coming up, I've got a runner bean the size of a scarf rolled out on the floor, and I've got a lettuce, right, that's literally gonna fuck this competition up the ass."

Pink Gregory

New Bob's Burgers is out

Jimmy Jr - "I'll have to stop, I have a...small bladder."
Zeke - "But a biiig heart!"

Just hit me the right way.

The Mollusk

"I've just got off the phone with Colin Cooper. He's pissing blood."

neveragain



neveragain


madhair60

Leon enjoying the crudité at the Jimmy Fallon show so he winks, points at Larry and says "Cruditake." then walks out with the entire platter

Senior Baiano

From the parade ground sketch in Meaning of Life

"I've got a book I'd quite like to read, sarge"

Line from off screen, so not even sure who says it

Whenever Lee and Herring era Lee says:

"Ah whoops I didn't think"

Like a child who has repeatedly been told to "think boy, for goodness' sake!"