Microphone for secret comedy recordings

[lauraxsynthesis]

If one wanted to do an audio recording of some stand up for one's personal use, can anyone recommend a little James Bond microphone I can get for my iphone? Or should I just put the phone mic-side up in my chest pocket and that's good enough? I'd prefer to pay less than £50 as I don't expect to do this more than a few times a year, and it's just for me. 

[thugler]

I've bootlegged stuff with just my iphone sat in my lap and it's perfectly listenable if not perfect. I suspect a mic would improve things somewhat.

[darby o chill]

[Memorex MP3]

I've listened to some borderline unlistenable bootlegs, I remember one with a very early version of the Richard the Hamster Hammond bit that I had to listen to in total silence in a shed with earphones on to just about make out the words; but hardly anything recorded in the last 10 years has been inaudible; an iPhone should suffice imo.
Biggest issue with the iPhone is that the red bar at  the top makes it extremely obvious you're recording if someone's looking out for it.

[Noodle Lizard]

Or should I just put the phone mic-side up in my chest pocket and that's good enough?

That's the answer, and try not to rustle around!

[madhair60]

or you could just not steal the cereal out of the mouths of comedians' children

[thenoise]

If you're bootlegging a comedy gig try not to laugh at all, or that's all we'll hear.

[lauraxsynthesis]

or you could just not steal the cereal out of the mouths of comedians' children

THIN ICE, MADHAIR

[Garam]

Zoom h1n is the correct answer

[dissolute ocelot]

Put it in your hat, and keep the hat on. Or sit in the front row of the balcony and put it on the edge of the balcony. You really want the mic as far from you as possible, and it to be directional. A chest/lapel lavalier mic is better for picking up what you say than what anyone else does, and is very sensitive. Stay still and don't breathe. I don't know specifically about iPhones, which presumably have fairly advanced recording technology, but you need some good noise-cancelling or else it will just sound like improv hour at the crisp factory. You can probably do noise reduction afterwards in Reaper etc, but for top quality you can get multi-mic set-ups that have intelligent denoising and can localise the sound you want and throw away the rest. Something like this from Sennheiser in a pointed hat:

[Gurke and Hare]

or you could just not steal the cereal out of the mouths of comedians' children

But I hate children.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

I recorded a Jandek concert on my iPhone once.