Stealing from the supermarket

[lestergunn]

Little Tesco Express nearby had £85k of goods swiped in a year. £230 per day.

[shoulders]

Tesco's retail adjusted operating profit, its key measure, was 2.49 billion pounds.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Went to the Tesco garage near me a while back and the glass in one of the doors was completely fucked and I asked the guy on the till if someone tried to ram-raid them or something and he said 'nah a shoplifter went into it full tilt and hit them before they opened'.

Now normally I'm fully on the side of shoplifters of places like Tesco because of stuff like:

Tesco's retail adjusted operating profit, its key measure, was 2.49 billion pounds.

so fuck 'em really.

But I couldn't help thinking, 'I wouldn't have minded seeing that' because I like a bit of slapstick.

[amateur]

premium cold meats

You have my attention.

[Cuntbeaks]

You have my attention.

The hack no longer works, but you could scan two packs of meat as one, then another set, and because it was 2 for £5 you basically got 4 packs for a fiver.

The roast beef was top notch.

Unrelated, but I remember buying a full crispy aromatic duck from Sainsbury's and it going through at 99p as opposed to £9.99. Went back in and got the remaining three for the same price.

Beasted them all in a few days, but never had any for a few years after.

[The Mollusk]

Accidentally weighed my tote bag instead of my potatoes the other week. Heavily discounted spuds for your old pal Ferris!!

You have to wonder really about the type of person whose casual tote contains things which weigh considerably less than a couple of spuds.

[shoulders]

The thought of Ferris receiving mad potato discounts makes me wretch

[pancreas]

However, hanging a bag of hardwood logs on the trolley and then forgetting to scan them, has worked at least 15 times.

need some sort of barter system among you kleptos, clearly.

you're up to your eyebrows in logs, and Dr Crook has more torches than you can shake a stick at.

From each according to his ability to each according to his need.
         ---Reginald 'Reggie' Kray

[lauraxsynthesis]

I had coffee the other day with the local vicar who's a communist. He said the commandment to not steal has always been aimed at the rich since what they have has been stolen from the poor. It's the the Catholic catechism, though it certainly wasn't mentioned during my years at Catholic school or in mass when I was growing up.

Thomas Aquinas said eat the rich. 

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I had coffee the other day with the local vicar who's a communist.

For some reason, I'm finding it very difficult not to hear this opening sentence read in the voice of Alan Bennett.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

He'll send me to the back of our fridge.

[Ferris]

You have to wonder really about the type of person whose casual tote contains things which weigh considerably less than a couple of spuds.

It was my backup tote that I keep in my ankle holster for shopping and taking out bad guys etc, not my everydayer

[shoulders]

I had coffee the other day with the local vicar who's a communist. He said the commandment to not steal has always been aimed at the rich since what they have has been stolen from the poor. It's the the Catholic catechism, though it certainly wasn't mentioned during my years at Catholic school or in mass when I was growing up.

Thomas Aquinas said eat the rich. 

I agree, and it should be brought up, although doing so in a magistrates court might be a little bit Freemen of the Land

[The Mollusk]

I was in Tesco earlier (not the one I usually steal from, as the security bloke hovers over the self service area and the bagging area has a weighing scale, not risking it) and there was a guy with two big BFLs (bags for lifes) just marching about brazenly chucking stuff into them. I assumed he was using the bags as a basket for whatever reason and was gonna pay in full compliance of the law before exiting, but no, he actually was intending to half inch the lot. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume some sort of mental affliction which was influencing his lack of stealth.

He was immediately stopped by the staff at the door who told him to empty the bags, which he did but only partially. He didn't cause any aggravation or pose a threat, but he did repeat to the staff a few times that he was "just hungry". Staff said if he had just come in and said that then he would have tried to help him out and give him something, although obvs when stealing you can potentially walk out with more and really the point is he clearly felt as though he was beyond being helped and driven to stealing. Anyway, he definitely left with a few things, no police called and no real harm done. Afterwards a person at the till was bemoaning the state of the country to the person serving her. Whole thing bummed me out.