Misheard

[Melth]

Last night, while reading a very old thread reviewing the Day Today DVD, I read someone complaining that the subtitlers had misheard several lines, notably Bob Dylan getting hospitalised after eating "rotten wool" and not "a rotten wolf." Now, my hearing isn't great, but, for twelve years, the "rotten wool" line has been a favourite bit of Rok TV (and I bit that I've quoted ad nauseam to explain my love of Morris to people) so I dug out the DVD again. I still don't really hear it any differently but am willing to bow to those with better ears. But really, my point is that the image of Dylan dining out on a bale of wool is  much funnier and more inventive than him noshing on a wolf carcass. A little of the magic of Rok TV died in bed with me last night.

This thread is here to celebrate the moments when your own faulty hearing has brought new and exciting possibilites to a comedy show. Another example. I sat down to watch Who Dares Wins 4.1 - the first episode I'd ever seen of the show. About five minutes in, there's a skit where NSPCC officers call round at a house and propose to take a kid into care because her parents have sent her to a state school. "Interesting," I thought. "A sketch to alienate at least 93% of the population from the outset, still, it might have something to say about what various governments have done to state education, so ...oh, no, wait, they said "stage school", didn't they? Bugger... cue some embarassing bollocks about Bonnie Langford."

What about arguments you've had with people about what a comedian's saying. A fucking ridiculous example: when I was a kid, my sister used to constantly insist that the health club Victoria Wood visits was not called "Pinkney's" but "Pygmies", a slight on the stunted physique of the avid dieter. I know in that Keef vs Felicity Kendal thing, the issue of "paper-cheeked" vs "paper-cheat" has been keepin a lot of people awake.

So, I can't be the only one with shit ears. Examples, please.

[biniput]

Only this morning i thought that someone at work had said that thier dad had run off and they had to go and fetch/look for them in a car. It was the dog in reality.

[Mr Grue]

In the movie Hot Shots the scene where our man gives his life savings to the widow of "Lucky" I swore she replied that, as she'd just won the lottery she could take this cheque and "blow it all on hash!" Sadly it was hats.

Also in The Big Bus (1976) Robin Williams plays an improvising lounge pianist. He improves songs about the other guys in the bar, one of whom is terminally ill. I thought he sang "Six months to live, six months to live, so forget about charisma!" But instead he sang "Six months to live, six months to live, so forget about Charistmas!"

[LeboviciAB84]

That's Robin Williams? You'd think I would have noticed, having seen that film . . . once.

[Mr Grue]

I'm suddenly not sure and am trying to confirm it.

[LeboviciAB84]

It was Murphy Dunne! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Great film, buy the DVD. Carry on.

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

In Arrested Development Series 2.17 Spring Breakout there's an exchange between George Michael and Maeby:

George Michael: Look, I don't want to ruin your fun, you know? But I hate to see guys treat you like this. You're better than that. To me, anyway. You're-you're...

Maeby: Awesome?

George Michael: No, I was going to say you're like this flower. And I know it's springtime, but I hate to see you get plucked by someone who doesn't even care that you're blossoming.


Many, many people heard it as;  "fucked by someone..."

[alan strang]

ISIRTA's 'The News In Welsh' sketch (a news report delivered entirely in random or fake Welsh phrases) begins with Graeme Garden saying "Plaid Cymru am fath lookyou...". Until last week a mate of mine was under the impression that he was saying "Plant Cymru..." - which translates as "Children of Wales...".

A mishearing which could probably only occur to Welsh kids who'd been introduced to said sketch in the early 80s via copies of the 'We Are Most Amused' compilation LP in Rhondda branches of Poundstretchers.

[Mr Grue]

It was Murphy Dunne! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Ta!

[LeboviciAB84]

The pleasure was all mine.

I used to think the intro to the first Blue Jam went, "And when you sick so sad you place your face in the puddle of a lay-by, waiting for lorry to splashy". I still think 'splashy' sounds better than 'splash it'.

[Garam]

Derek and Clive - Soul Time

"I'm a n**ger and I fucked a white chick...and I ain't ashamed!"

I thought it was;

"I'm a n**ger and I fucked a white chick...and I ate her shit!"

I find it less funny now that I know he's saying he ain't ashamed. The combination of the ridiculous non-sequitur combined with the blatant attempt at shocking never failed to make me giggle. I also love how Pete says it as if it's an afterthought. Then I found out I misheard it.

I wish I could turn back time and never find out the correct lyric.

[fudgemonkey]

I used to think the intro to the first Blue Jam went, "And when you sick so sad you place your face in the puddle of a lay-by, waiting for lorry to splashy". I still think 'splashy' sounds better than 'splash it'.

It's not?

That does sound better.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

One of my mates thought CM's intro to TDT. Ep.6 was:

"Fact me to life, Fart!"

rather than what it really is:

"Fact me till I fart!"

-

It's a good example because his version still used 'fact' as a verb in a reasonably funny manner. Ok, the "Fart!" is pretty redundant but the phrase "Fact me to life!" seems like a missed opportunity really. I had a good giggle at that.

[Utter Shit]

I always thought that in the theme tune to OFAH, "Where it all came from was Mr Reeve", as if this was some shady, unseen character who Del gets all his gear from.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Neil's 'Vegetable rights and peace!' - always heard that as 'Vegetable, rice and peas!'. Thought it was odd that Neil singled out peas despite already declaring his love of generic vegetables.

I also thought Roland Percival in Nozin' Aroun' talked about seducing his palette. I thought it was some strangely-worded sex gag about tongues. Totally missed the poly/parrot pun. I thought Percival's delight at his joke was some kind of orgasmic shudder.

[Not Seymour]

Derek and Clive - Soul Time

"I'm a n**ger and I fucked a white chick...and I ain't ashamed!"

I thought it was;

"I'm a n**ger and I fucked a white chick...and I ate her shit!"

Dammit, I thought the same. Ah well, I can always pretend.

As far as the 'rotten wolf' TDT thing goes, I always heard it as that and I've never checked the subtitles.