Taking 'a break'

[thenoise]

If that's their main beef then, if you're prepared to play the long game, I suggest a staged 'break-up', followed by your fiancee introducing her parents to a parade of new suitors for whom a menial office admin job would be an unattainable dream, largely due to a combination of lack of qualifications, a criminal record, a few outstanding warrants, plenty of varied substance abuse and at least 50% tattoo coverage, and whose entire employment history consists of the time a nice couple offered them a few quid to pose as a bad-news boyfriend for a few weeks. They'll be dragging you down the aisle this time next year.

Nice idea, but a dangerous one.  What if she prefers one of these people over me?

[Icehaven]

Nice idea, but a dangerous one.  What if she prefers one of these people over me?

OK slight change of tactic, exactly the same only women instead. Would also have the extra benefit of annoying her parents even more if they don't like the idea of their daughter going gay (and as long as you're reasonably confident she actually won't.)

[WesterlyWinds]

Or make sure they are all eunuchs

[thenoise]

Maybe I'll just wipe my poo finger on their car door when they aren't looking.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Maybe I'll just wipe my poo finger on their car door when they aren't looking.

Prrft, lightweight, you need to up your game when it comes to disapproving parents. Luckily I am willing to help you out and pose as her new boyfriend (and I promise there will be no romantic entanglement because I love Mrs SMBH so fucking much it sometimes scares me) and soon every surface in their house will be covered in anal leakage.

I'd also be happy to ramble away over a sunday lunch about how fucking tight their daughter's pussy is. Like I wasn't sure if she had vaginismus at first but no, she was just born with a golden twunt. Even her arsehole is less tight, and trust me, that's almost scientifically impossible. And that would be only the beginning, you'd be bouncing in to their good books minutes after I've finished with them.

[Icehaven]

Prrft, lightweight, you need to up your game when it comes to disapproving parents. Luckily I am willing to help you out and pose as her new boyfriend (and I promise there will be no romantic entanglement because I love Mrs SMBH so fucking much it sometimes scares me) and soon every surface in their house will be covered in anal leakage.

I'd also be happy to ramble away over a sunday lunch about how fucking tight their daughter's pussy is. Like I wasn't sure if she had vaginismus at first but no, she was just born with a golden twunt. Even her arsehole is less tight, and trust me, that's almost scientifically impossible. And that would be only the beginning, you'd be bouncing in to their good books minutes after I've finished with them.

From the sounds of them they might be fine with that if you're rich and/or have a great job though, so make sure to mention how you haven't worked since the Miner's strike and how great it is your new lady flashes the cash as well as everything else of course haha.

[Small Man Big Horse]

From the sounds of them they might be fine with that if you're rich and/or have a great job though, so make sure to mention how you haven't worked since the Miner's strike and how great it is your new lady flashes the cash as well as everything else of course haha.

Fortunately I wouldn't even have to lie about that. Well, it's not been since the eighties but it's still a worryingly large amount of time.

[thenoise]

Thanks SMBH!  I will return the favour by giving your neighbour a very thorough sorting out (not in a sex way.  Unless shitting up someone's cunt counts as sex).

[WesterlyWinds]

Good news lads, last night I had my first dream in which we were actually broken up. Closure: here we, here we, here we fucking go!

[Twed]

Break status: wife has applied for an apartment.