The Apprentice 2019

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Sadly the producers had to kick Pillahs out before the interviews because as colourful as he is he's unlikely to have made up massive portions of his CV, lied in his business plan, etc.

What you see is what you get: HERE TO SELL PILLAHS!

Lottie in the interview episode is going to be legendary.

[Paul Calf]

The only people who choose to play the viola are the ones who aren't very good at the violin. It's a sort of reserve team for the string section, like being demoted from lead guitar to bass because you're ugly and talentless and you have fat fingers.

[Paul Calf]

(I used to play the bass. I got demoted to the drums.)

[touchingcloth]

Did anyone watch You're Fired with Pillahs and remember what his business plan was? Was it pillahs? If so, a special kind of pillah, or just Pillahs and Shugs selling loadsa pillahs?

[Paul Calf]

I kind of like the later stages where they go through the business plans pretending it's the first time they've seen them and that the first thing they did before they even chose the candidates wasn't to go through every single one of them with a red pen and a highlighter and decide who was going to win.

[Ham Bap]

I kind of like the later stages where they go through the business plans pretending it's the first time they've seen them and that the first thing they did before they even chose the candidates wasn't to go through every single one of them with a red pen and a highlighter and decide who was going to win.

It's basically why I can't be bothered with this show anymore.
It's more or less a highly convoluted Dragons Den these days making them jump through hoops just to get to their business plan.
If they cut out all the tasks they would still end up with the same finalists at the end which renders the 8 (?) weeks of tasks pointless.

[GMTV]

Just a reality TV gameshow really. Does it still have a strong pretence that it's a genuine business process? The fact they have them producing music, toys, serving guests on a train etc. More or less seems to be pitched as some kind of unrealistic simulation now. On that basis it's still quite enjoyable seeing the contest, group dynamics etc.

[Alberon]

It really would be better if the plans were held back from everyone. Maybe you could even have a segment each week where Alan, Claude and Karrren go over the plan of the losing candidate to see if it was viable.

And then he'd end up having to invest in some total bollocks dreamt up by a seemingly competent winner.

I mean, why not, it's not his money Sugar is investing after all.

[touchingcloth]

I think it is his money - the BBC take pains to not mislead viewers after the televoting scandal and that show where Gordon Ramsay didn't catch a fish with his bare hands. My partner used to work on a show which featured auctions, and they weren't allowed to cut in a shot of someone raising their hand to bid if the item being shown under the hammer wasn't one that that person had actually bid on and for the correct amount.

Of course, there's nothing to say that his fee isn't coincidentally £250k higher than it would be if it wasn't his "own" money being invested.

[Ray Travez]

Did anyone watch You're Fired with Pillahs and remember what his business plan was? Was it pillahs? If so, a special kind of pillah, or just Pillahs and Shugs selling loadsa pillahs?

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was pillahs... pillahs and duvets. Pillahs, duvets, throws. Fluffy hot water bottle covers, pillahs, duvets, throws and pillahs. Pillahs, pillahs, throws, pillahs and pillahs. Pillahs pillahs _{pillahs pillahs throws pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs}

[touchingcloth]

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was pillahs... pillahs and duvets. Pillahs, duvets, throws. Fluffy hot water bottle covers, pillahs, duvets, throws and pillahs. Pillahs, pillahs, throws, pillahs and pillahs. Pillahs pillahs _{pillahs pillahs throws pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs pillahs}

The Generation Game conveyor belt has let itself go. 

[touchingcloth]

I think it is his money - the BBC take pains to not mislead viewers after the televoting scandal and that show where Gordon Ramsay didn't catch a fish with his bare hands. My partner used to work on a show which featured auctions, and they weren't allowed to cut in a shot of someone raising their hand to bid if the item being shown under the hammer wasn't one that that person had actually bid on and for the correct amount.

Of course, there's nothing to say that his fee isn't coincidentally £250k higher than it would be if it wasn't his "own" money being invested.

Related to this I have a friend who works for CBeebies. Their programmes are popular around the world and get syndicated to foreign networks, sometimes with the links (what was the CBBC Broom Cupboard in my day) recorded by their own presenters. They get syndicated to Poland where for some reason the BBC retains editorial oversight of those links, and one of the most insane things I've heard about the Beeb is that the head of Children's has to watch the Polish links to check them for compliance, even though he doesn't speak a word of Polish. He puts his headphones on, watches the lot and ticks boxes to say whether anyone swears or calls for the Jews to be enslaved. Purely through guesswork.

[Blue Jam]

We woz robbed of the chance to see Pillahs on the perfume challenge:

"I love perfume! 'ah abaaaaht... Pillah Mist? Pill'eau?"


Lottie is a perfume expert? Of course she is. I can't wait to see her get ripped to shreds in the interviews when it becomes apparent how full of shit she is.

[Jasha]

Pillahs = ratings

Can't be arsed any more

[Jasha]

Gotta pop into Boots tomorrow for a bottle of Determined

[Blue Jam]

The Librarian Of Death is right about the name "CAPTIVATION" with that image though. They may as well have called it "ROHYPNOL" or "HAHA RAPE".

"Determined" looks like it could be a box of incontinence pads.

[Blue Jam]

THIS IS BULLSHIT

They had to save Lottie somehow though. Roll on the interviews.

[touchingcloth]

Dutch Cap Tivation.

Hostage, by Pillahs.

I've never seen a photo on a cosmetic product like what Domestic or whatever the name of the losing perfume was had. It looked like the kind of image you see on pet medicines.

Lottie said she had "helped three friends choose a wedding perfume", which I assume meant she had forced a perfume on them on their wedding days.

On the note, what the FUCK is a wedding fragrance?

[Blue Jam]

Lottie said she had "helped three friends choose a wedding perfume", which I assume meant she had forced a perfume on them on their wedding days.

On the note, what the FUCK is a wedding fragrance?

That was right up there with "I eat in a lot of Italian restaurants".

[Hat FM]

isn't lottie 19? why has she got mates that are married already? sad that all of them are such berks so she never gets pulled up on her ridiculous statements. so looking forward to her getting ripped at the interviews.

[GMTV]

Lottie's the modern day embodiment of Alan Partridge, its quite magnificent.

[Blue Jam]

isn't lottie 19? why has she got mates that are married already? sad that all of them are such berks so she never gets pulled up on her ridiculous statements.

This week didn't one of candidates put herself forward as project manager not because she was passionate about fragrances or that she actually wanted to be PM, but purely because she couldn't face the prospect of Lottie lording it over everyone? Also I noticed plenty of eye-rolling and a bit of a "Yeah, whatever Lottie" vibe from her teammates.

I get the impression that Lottie is one of these belligerent types who will argue until they're blue in the face before admitting they're wrong or that they're bullshitting. The kind of person who wins arguments solely because arguing with them is exhausting and just not worth it.

I can't wait to see her try that with Claude Littner next week.

[Rolf Lundgren]

Lottie's wedding perfume's statement was similar to her 'been a musician for 15 years' statement. Blissfully unaware how dumb it makes her sound. I forget she's only 19 though so could be naivety and overstating basic experience because she hasn't got much else. Agree she's probably been left around so they could have a real go at her in the interviews.

Delighted to see Dean go and Alan lay into him. I don't know why he pissed me off so much. Maybe the massive lack of self-awareness and constant posturing about what good business looks like despite having precisely zero talent in anything.

[Hat FM]

i'm also looking forward to Gym tattoo haircut man being laid into during the interviews. Looks like he should be working in wetherspoons in croydon.

[kngen]

Couldn't put a finger on what Lottie's shit advert reminded me of. It's been annoying me for days. Finally popped into my head this morning:



Lottie's pic was worse though, as it looked like it was pastiche of Mastermind to advertise a hotline to report sexual harassment in the workplace.

[Blue Jam]

I highly recommend following Pillahs on Twitter. He's the gift that keeps on giving:

https://mobile.twitter.com/iamtomskinner/status/1203261399490805760

[Alberon]

Is he reduced to living out of a car now?

Glad The Librarian of Death survived this week, if only because she goes on to Interview Week. She'll be fired at the end of it, of course, but what a run. It'll be interesting to see if the interviewers can grapple with her disconnection from reality. 

[Malcy]

Lottie is so deluded. Always banging on about being ruthless  or vindictive in business but she has zero experience. An Air Force cadet who failed getting in twice so got a job as a librarian.

Her business idea is a women only country club. Big contrast to Scarlett who set up a recruitment agency and turned over £100k in her first year. I think she will win it.

Don't know about the rest. Too hard to call.

[touchingcloth]

Today you're here to be interviewed and have your business plans scrutinised by three of my most trusted business advisors and Tommy Pillahs.

[touchingcloth]

"...if I were the master baker every day..."