Being misinterpreted, frame of mind whilst posting on here, and... online arrogance

[TJ]

Doesn't appear to be a regular poster.


Sorry, "no way regular poster dude".

[My Other Login]

Doesn't appear to be a regular poster.


Sorry, "no way regular poster dude".

What are you insinuating?

[TJ]

I reckon it's that Chris Morris.

[Almost Yearly]

Could it be multi account  regular AY?

Why's everyone suddenly got hung up about this? It's all over me like a rash today. Um.. slim.

[Steve Cramlington]

Why, aye.

[Cerys]

Y'know, one day I'm going to have to create an extra account, so I can feel the ... whatever it is that gets felt at such times.

Or on second thoughts, maybe not.

[TJ]

So anyway, about these bits about me and some other people...

But then sometimes, people make the most arrogant and superior assumptions, don't they? TJ a few minutes ago said he hated my attitude towards women. He has no idea about my attitude towards women!

True, but I was referring - and in fact could only refer - to the attitude that comes across from your postings here. Do you see it as equally ridiculous that posters draw inferences that I am obsessed with making people read at gunpoint, or that I just pretend to dislike Big Brother because I want to shag Emma or something?.

:winky wanky wonky:

Who let a self-misquoting Dudley Moore in here?

[Cerys]

What's wrong with making people read at gunpoint...?

[Jimmay]

Heh, everyone's so jumpy, must be rag week or something!  Have a wank over some internet porn, that'll soon chill you out!!

[Almost Yearly]

TJ wants to shag Emma, TJ wants to shag Emma ...


What was that bloke called who continually missed the point? Something like Man Who Continually Misses The Point. I liked him. That's the sort of thing I was going to do with Wrong, had Neil not outed me before I could lay down a few foundation posts. I was going to try to be completely wrong about everything. Even more so than VM. It can't be easy, like Les Dawson's piano playing. Ah well.

[TJ]

TJ wants to shag Emma, TJ wants to shag Emma ...

Don't project your own sick sub-"jam" fantasies on me, son.

[Partridge's Love Child]

I presumed that Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry was the same person as this and this.  A theory made even more like by the latter's appearance just now.  The reference to Julian Clary would suggest that it's either a regular, or someone who's been lurking for some time.  I have my suspicions.

I'll get back to you on the arrogance thing - it's home time.

[Almost Yearly]

And let's face it, it's beneath you.

[Neil]

Sure, posters will word things politely, begin sentences gingerly, but the overall tone of the post will come across as "I appreciate your input on this great site which we all love... but here's the score, I know becuase I've had this argument before and it was decided I was right.". References to obscure publications/commentators will be casually slipped in, with the purpose of pointing out how well-read they are on the situation, and...

This is annoying, gaz, and is doubly annoying when people do it in the comedy forum.  I was just thinking about it last night...there's no need to feel intimidated by "obscure references" to things you don't recognise, because you're on the internet, and via a google toolbar can seek out the meaning of these references in seconds.  I quite like it when someone throws in something I don't understand, I will either ask them what they mean, or google on it and learn for myself.

Regards the stuff about women, it wasn't just your usage of the word "bird" it was the phrase, "I felt some birds tits" that people objected to.  This, in conjunction with your MSN wind-up, does say a lot about your attitude towards women.

When you say you talk on here the way you do in real life, well, for my own part I have never ever felt the need to join in with my mates telling of their stories of conquests.  I find it rude to kiss and tell, and it just irritates me when people feel they have to prove themselves by giving gory details of who they've shagged, and how.

[gazzyk1ns]

Heh, I see your point Neil but I'm never trying to prove myself... although to be honest I think I could be excused for wanting to do exactly that sometimes, with a few people constantly referring to me as a troubled little boy who hates women because he has little success with them!

I know saying "I DON'T HAVE TROUBLE WITH WOMEN!" over and over is only counter productive but it's really annoying, it grates, like I imagine all the "comedy snob" references do for you, TJ, etc.

Ultimately, of course it's not a problem, I could just re-register and post as someone else, avoiding any sore points - and I'd be fine. I nearly did it this morning, too, but I thought I might as well state my case as the kind of things I'm talking about have annoyed me for so long.

I cringe when I hear Yearly, Sproglette, etc saying the type of thing they have here, again, it's so frustrating - I KNOW I am not guilty of any of the things they accuse me of, and that I'm not afflicted with any of the troubles they assume I am. That's why it's so frustrating, and why I keep going over and over it, starting threads like these... I am safe in the knowlege that I can conduct myself properly and successfully in real life but I find it absolutely bizarre that people take offence to certain things, make certain assumptions... bizzare.

Neil I respect your opinion about kissing and telling... but I didn't, did I... I'm also aware that fooling around at a party is nothing to brag about... which is why I deemed it acceptable to throw in there! That whole episode was truly uncalled for, it was down to Tracey taking exception for whatever reason.

In addition, it doesn't mean that your personal boundaries with regards to talking about.. erm, relationship/sex stuff are right, why not mention it now and agian? Since I registered here (i.e. including the old board), I think I've made about 4750 posts... I think you could probably count on your fingers how many posts have been regarding my personal... er... experience.

[Cerys]

Neil I respect your opinion about kissing and telling... but I didn't, did I... I'm also aware that fooling around at a party is nothing to brag about... which is why I deemed it acceptable to throw in there!

Interestingly enough, I interpreted the phrase 'felt up some bird's tits' (if I've got the quote right) as almost the opposite of kissing and telling.  The very wording that's caused objection came across to me as a light-hearted way of mentioning a sexual encounter without bragging too much, and without revealing too much about the woman involved.  It's ironic that gazzyk1ns got so much hassle because of it.

If I'm right, that is....

[Timmay]

...quite, I thought similar myself. If we're really really gonna focus on that quote, then it's as if he didn't want to brag, but had to mention the fact that something happened to add weight or context to what he was talking about.

If he was trying to brag, he could have said, "I felt up this gorgeous size 8 blonde, and fondled with her pert titties all night long. And then her college mates arrived..."

[Neil]

It's not the boasting element people objected to though, it's the depersonalisation, the reduction of the person in question to "bird's tits."

If he was trying to brag, he could have said, "I felt up this gorgeous size 8 blonde"

And he likely would have incurred the same wrath.  (If not more, considering the "size 8 blonde" bit...)

[Timmay]

Heh, I realise that. And the wrath would be justified, the smug boasting bastard. ;)

Would the nay-sayers have preferred him to have said, "felt up a girl's tits"? That's slightly less impersonal; using "a girl" rather than "some girl".

[Cerys]

It's not the boasting element people objected to though, it's the depersonalisation, the reduction of the person in question to "bird's tits."

I know - I can understand the objections; I just think they're ironic.  Although maybe it's partly because I wouldn't feel insulted if the same phrase were applied to me by someone I'd fumbled with.

[gazzyk1ns]

To be fair to me, what was I meant to say about her? Was I to explain the nature of my relationship with her, what her interest were? That actually sounds sarcastic, me asking you that - and that's my point!

The post was a thread-starter, and the thread was about me, emotions I was experiencing (although obviously I then wanted everyone to talk about themselves, not me...)... to include any details about her or our "relationship" was unnecessary, and as I said at the time, I felt that anything other than a flying mention might (rightly) be interpreted as self-indulgent.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Ultimately, no matter what the topic, theres always higher moral ground to go to, and there are some people who apparently sit around waiting to get up on it, or at least can't resisit an opportunity.
Was it Gaz who went to the party and felt up a "nice bird's tits" recently? When I read that I immediately knew the spirit it was meant, and was a bit shocked at some of the replies it got.
Lots of people do it, my boss does it when me and a colleague are hashing out the details of some job, and he'll really want to be heard and just make a wordly pronouncement on a higher, less detailed level, in an exasperrated tone, making our discussion seem petty when its perfectly valid, and still needs to be discussed, not brushed under the carpet.
OK, a lot of what is spouted on here doesnt 'need' to be discussed, but its the same spirit of 'criticism for criticism's sake' that often rears its head - I used to do it a lot before and have stopped now I think. I'll say though that I don't think jutl is guilty here - he does seem to only chip in when someone has made a rather sweeping statement; I can recognize these as I've made a few in my time before I realised that not everyone gets the joke.
However the criticism arises from a proprietorial feeling over the board, (not the need for "the voice of reason", Morris would turn in his erm, chair) and I think sometimes people see something and think "now if I was new and didn't know you or the board much, I'd run a mile at that, horrified", and feel they have to set the record straight, give the party line (ok maybe not) in a "we don't all laugh at bum jokes" style. Or not.
Maybe I should go back to not saying much.*

Interesting observation: when I first read the opening, long post of the thread I missed the name and actually thought it was Timmay....

*1....2.....3....4......

[Peking O]

If only those breasts knew what a can of worms they'd opened up when they recieved that fondle. Just think, right now they're happily going about their day with no idea of the trouble they've caused.

[terminallyrelaxed]

I'm thinking I'm thinking!

[Ambient Sheep]

It's not the boasting element people objected to though, it's the depersonalisation...

Although maybe it's partly because I wouldn't feel insulted if the same phrase were applied to me by someone I'd fumbled with.

And that amazes me.  Wouldn't you?

I agree with Neil, it was the depersonalisation that got to me, nothing else.  It was absolutely necessary for his post that Gazzy should mention that he'd got off with a nice girl at a party yet still wasn't happy, but that's how he should have said it, not "felt up some bird's tits".  It was just the triple crudity of "bird", "tits" and "some" - as if whoever owned those tits was just some random woman who wasn't even recognisable as a person - that got to me.

However ever since Gazzy posted that voice sample of himself a few days ago, I can now recognise the laid-back ironic tone-of-voice behind that post that was very probably intended.

...with a few people constantly referring to me as a troubled little boy who hates women because he has little success with them!

I don't think anybody's saying that; you're misunderstanding their objections/views, I think.

It seems to me that they're saying that although you have plenty of sexual encounters, the reason that you feel unfulfilled is because you're treating the women as just sexual objects (depersonalising them to "some bird's tits"), and that you need to learn how to REALLY interact with women as people, not just as things to be fucked.  Or something like that.

Do *I* hold that view of you?  Honestly, the jury's out as far as I'm concerned.  From some of your posts I can understand why they have that impression of you, on the other hand it may just be a question of the way you use language (see above).

I'd like to discuss your other points, but I'm about to set off for Swansea, and thence Bristol, and so I'm unlikely to be back on here in any serious capacity until Monday now.  I shouldn't have even stopped to write this...so don't expect any further responses for a while.

And just to show I'm not completely up my own arse, after Peking O's post I was thinking about that unwitting and unknowing pair of breasts as well!  As well as their owner.  Honest.

[Ambient Sheep]

Would the nay-sayers have preferred him to have said, "felt up a girl's tits"? That's slightly less impersonal; using "a girl" rather than "some girl".

Yes: "a girl's tits" rather than "some bird's tits" would have been far less offensive and I don't think I would have said anything.  "A nice girl's tits" would have been even better.  It was just that crude depersonalisation of "some bird" that really got to me - but I'm repeating myself now.

While I'm here: I've *never* seen you as any sort of "gary boy", and was rather surprised when you were accused of such a while back.

Hencole: there's a really good psy-trance night in Swansea every fourth Friday if you're interested and ever in the area.  Then again you're probably not that keen to return to Wales any time soon... ;-)

[thomasina]

I'm sort of newish here, but it's surely right that people who've been here a while should be able to post the same way as they talk to their mates in the pub?  If people misunderstand, either put them right or ignore them.  I honestly can't remember finding anything you've said offensive, Gazzykins.  I was surprised you were in the MSN thing, but i never actually believed it happened after reading to about a third of the way down the conversation.

[Cerys]

It's not the boasting element people objected to though, it's the depersonalisation...

Although maybe it's partly because I wouldn't feel insulted if the same phrase were applied to me by someone I'd fumbled with.

And that amazes me.  Wouldn't you?

No.  I'm sickeningly hard to offend when it comes to things like that.  Also, knowing where 'bird' originates, (or where I think it originates), I'd possibly take it as a compliment, depending on how I was feeling when I found out.  Certainly I'd feel better than I would if the person concerned went into graphic personal detail on a message board full of weirdoes.

[Borboski]

For what it's worth, as a gentleman, I think the phrase "some birds tits" in CaB context, implies an element of self-awareness....

Because getting off with strangers and groping them, is something that makes you feel a little embharassed and dirty - that said, it's a lot of fun.

Imagine if it was described "yes, i got chatting to a girl, she was pretty friendly and seemed to like me, and as it happened at quarter past 11 she encouraged me to stroke her left busom". I mean, come off it...

So, in that "some birds tits" i read guilty shame, ennui, a weary nod to all those latenight fellows that are looking for a bit of romance, and end up with a useless grope, knowing all the while that there's was somehow more crucial and integral than the usual grope - their grope actually meant something - because their understood subjective social conditions, understood the patheticness of it -that it is demeaning to a girl to grope their tit in the first place, even if they like it.

So to say "some birds tits" is actually massively empowering to the female sex - it allows them to know that the tit-groper is apologising for there gropage, acknowledge the relationship between them. Remember, campers, that that "some bird" will have faced the same dilemna (if she was cool and listened to the smiths yah), will have said on a similar message board "i let some wanker squeeze my bap".

[Cerys]

So to say "some birds tits" is actually massively empowering to the female sex....

Ooh, you're brave!