Being misinterpreted, frame of mind whilst posting on here, and... online arrogance

[Neil]

...or stupid.

[TraceyQ]

The two usually go together.

See also: Dirty Sanchez every fucking night on MTV.

[Cerys]

...or stupid.

That, too....

[Borboski]

Shit, wrong thread, was aiming for the smug thread.

[blue jammer]

The post was a thread-starter, and the thread was about me, emotions I was experiencing (although obviously I then wanted everyone to talk about themselves, not me...)...

I think sometimes people don't read the full post, something we're all probably guilty of at some time or other.  It's easy to jump with a knee-jerk reaction to something you cringe at, and think "hang on, he's out of order, I'll just reply to that now" - without reading the full post.

Because of this, threads get derailed from their original subject somewhat, so where you'd be expecting replies from people giving their experiences, instead it goes off on a tangent about a phrase you've typed! Pretty crazy, but that's how it goes sometimes...

to include any details about her or our "relationship" was unnecessary, and as I said at the time, I felt that anything other than a flying mention might (rightly) be interpreted as self-indulgent.

I won't quote "the" quote again, as I'm sure you and everyone else are sick of seeing it!

I just wanted to add that, I wonder has watching some comedy affected your attitude and what you'll type and deem as acceptable?

I know you used to like Bottom and I think from memory Men Behaving Badly, I too love them both (to the extent of buying them all on DVD) I just wonder how many of the people who took offence at your quote, would have been at all bothered had they watched an episode of Men Behaving Badly, or Bottom, where comments regarding women are taken with a pinch of salt/ in a throwaway sense.

[gazzyk1ns]

Possibly, although I have friends who act in the same way/say the same things who have never seen Bottom. I suppose you've got to assume most young people have seen MBB these days, not sure if it will really influence what anyone does in real life? Probably very true when I was younger though, i.e. in high school.

Anyway, as I said before, it doesn't matter, it's just interesting. Also, whilst getting insulted or even just "scowls" over the internet isn't ever going to do me any harm, it is annoying and frustrating - I guess I'll just tone it down whenever I can remember!

Another interesting thing is how so many people on here feel the need to regularly inform everyone of their own set of morals and boundaries. OK, this is a discussion forum, and questions will be raised with regards to that type of thing from time to time - but not a day goes by without someone feeling the need to inform everyone that something has breached their own set of "life rules". Maybe it's that a person is constantly frustrated in their real life and has nobody to let off steam in front of... so they do it on here. I really have no idea, of course, for me to accuse anyone of that would make me guilty of the same things I was accusing Yearly/TJ of waaaay back there.

I wonder how much the average Verbwhore censors themselves? I started a thread a while ago about a similar thing, that was more to do with writing a whole post and then chickening out of posting it, though. But how many comments do you begin writing and then think "Nah, that will be viewed as unnacceptable by most people..." and so delete it? I think I'll be doing that lots in the future, It's a bit unfortunate I think, all I was doing in the past was being myself because I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm not a twat. It goes back to the thread title, doesn't it, misinterpretation. Also I suppose it must be down to my perception of the board, it's clearly not as "suited" to me as I thought. That's meant to read as an non-emotive, matter of fact, statement... of course I'm not knocking anyone here, especially the mods, or commenting on how "good/bad" it is - just its suitability to my personality, and my perception of that.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Yes I do the 'type a lot and delete' thing, but its often not to do with offending anyone, rather that it would attract the attentions of some pedantic wanker who cares too much and will happily spend three hours trawling the read-only archive to find things to quote to support his point of view.
In my post near the top of the page, I nearly used last year's 'big brother boycott thread' as a tenuous example borne by general impressions I have of it now, but I just knew someone would go back there and read all the way through it picking out whatever would prove me wrong in their eyes.
I try to only make mild observations here now, and generally join in the fun but try to keep my opinions to myself as, as it has been said, the jokey way I might represent them would probably bring down the misplaced wrath of an online Mary Whitehouse.
Borboski has abetter way with words than me I think.

[23 Daves]

I've made mistakes on this forum in the past - in some cases, in the recent past - and in almost every instance I've thought before I've clicked on 'send' "There's a bit of a chance this might cause a bit of uproar".  Most of the time it's not even deliberate, and it usually boils down to me having a strong opinion on something that's pissing me off and refusing point blank to dilute it to make it more palatable or in line with the forum standard (which, incidentally, has shifted over the years as old members have left and new ones joined - the biggest myth about the cookdandbombd forum is that it's had any sort of consistent identity).  

Other times I'm very clearly on the wind-up, and it backfires nastily - I'm sure a few people remember the jokes about fat people I made a year and a half ago, since that got my name dragged a bit through the dirt.  I still think it's interesting that people can slag off the homeless and immigrants in a lazy and cliched way on here without any negative comment being passed, and I can mention the naff stereotype that all fat people are lazy and bitter and it causes World War III, mind you.  I'd love to claim that's the reason I posted it at the time, but the truth is I actually thought I was just being funny.  We all have our off days, and that was an extreme one of mine.

In short, then, I don't really practice much self-censorship, certainly not as much as I probably should, anyway.  I'm probably a bit too swift with the "SEND" button.  I'd love to think that I could talk on here as I do to friends in the pub and get away with it all the time, but the bottom line is it's a forum with thousands of visitors all with different perspectives, political beliefs and angles on life, so it's more like taking place in a very large public debate.  People don't know you, and will tend to hold certain comments against you.  I think it's a fact of forum life, and it's only because this place has a furry 'everybody knows your name' type feel that people reckon that everyone could be a mate and likes them.  There are always going to be voices of dissent for any poster, and everyone's going to have ones they particularly dislike or have issues with whether they say it or not.

I also think gazzykins has probably had enough of a grilling for one week, so I can't be bothered to say whether I disagree or agree with his present approach or not.  We've already had pages and pages of debate.  I do think that it's a bit daft to not expect people to judge posters by their posts, though.  It's all they've got to go on unless you meet with them personally.  I'm sure there are all sorts of misapprehensions i've made about on here over the years, and in fact there have been people I've actually met who've been nothing like their online persona whatsoever.  But, on the limited evidence the Internet provides me with, I'm not to know that, and nor really is anyone else.  Unless you reveal a huge amount of personal information about yourself, it's very difficult to do an accurate psychological character sketch, especially in a place that is invariably filled with so many strong opinions and only tiny bits of background. All people have to go on is what you post, and the most striking, cartoonish or cliched statements will always be the ones people most remember.