Google Indexing and the computer illterate

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I sometimes wish keyboards were about 15 times larger. I like having lots of buttons in front of me, even though I only use half of them. I wouldn't even mind if the new keys did the same things as the old ones, so long as they did them in a different, possibly fun way.

[Johnny Yesno]

Oh God, people who use the numbers above the letters!  My dad does that, every time I use his computer I go to type numbers and end up moving the cursor to the end of the text box or something.

Those annoying touch typists, huh?

[Guy]

I sometimes wish keyboards were about 15 times larger.

I just went to the trouble of image searching All Clued Up, only to find that there's no pictures floating around of the massive keyboard, which I could have comically posted in response. It's a fucking disgrace.

The only ones I could find are:

small_time_crook.jpg


flavor_flav.jpg

[Huzzie]

I hate to say this (a bit) but all those people who are so "confuse" are... erm... women.

Is that just because more women use Facebook than men, or are women really more easily confused than men?

[Huzzie]

In the same vein, this used (in 2007) to be the first hit for "cancel google": http://okcancel.com/archives/link/2004/09/google-answers-hci-phd-program.html

God!

You can only laugh for so long, before the smile drains from your face and you find yourself staring at the comments blankly, then, before you know it, you are involentarily shaking your head and asking yourself over and over again, "how?!"

I mean... check this horrible git out...

Louie Waerzeggers wrote: 3 Feb 2007

Remove Google please! Or tell me how to, Thanks!

Firm but kind of polite.

Obviously s/he rushes back to find that GOOGLE STILL EXISTS!!!
It hasn't magically disappeared at his/her command, so...

Louie Waerzeggers wrote: 3 Feb 2007

Remove Google immediately! Thank You!

Still firm, not still polite.

Obviously used to getting everything s/he wants, IMMEDIATELY! But finding that his/her command is not being undertaken, s/he comes back, presumably minutes later...

Louie Waerzeggers wrote: 3 Feb 2007

Remove Google now! Thanks!

Tsch!

Some people!

[Koant]

What I find staggering, apart from the cluelessness*, is the sense of entitlement these people have. As far I know, Facebook is a free service and yet they DEMAND (see the frequency of capital letters) that they be shown to their Farmville and complain that FB is broken etc.

* 'beached whales' as one comment put it.

Edit: I was writing this when Huzzie posted ^^, but it applies in the Ok/Cancel case as well.

[Huzzie]

What I find staggering, apart from the cluelessness*, is the sense of entitlement these people have. As far I know, Facebook is a free service and yet they DEMAND (see the frequency of capital letters) that they be shown to their Farmville and complain that FB is broken etc.

* 'beached whales' as one comment put it.

Exactly! It's really terrible!


EDIT: Weeee! You mentioned me!

[Pseudopath]

I now realise it would have been funnier to do that whole post in little letters. What the French call 'lowercase wit.'

L'esprit du clavier?

^{Nope...that doesn't work}

[Huzzie]

People really should read the replies on that page that Koant shared with us. It's absolutely incredible!

I was going to quote a few on here but I soon realised that I would basically be copying/pasting the whole bleedin' page!

Please look!...

http://okcancel.com/archives/link/2004/09/google-answers-hci-phd-program.html

Here's a few for now...


Joan Swinburn wrote: 24 May 2007

somebody mucked up my computer. Please take it off. It is stopping me logging on to my yahoo page. I hateit. I am 81 and cannot cope with it!!!


Joan Swinburn wrote: 24 May 2007

For the second time of writing. I want to get rid og Google. Somebody else used my computer. I am 81 and am not interested in it. Please take it away as it is interfering with my Yahoo pages.


Joan Swinburn wrote: 24 May 2007

How many mor34 damn replie3s do you weawnt I have already typed in 3. Soi clwear off please'


Joan Swinburn wrote: 24 May 2007

canel cancel cancel this cursed Google



brenda parker wrote: 24 Jun 2007

i am very unhappy with Google being on my page of the Microsoft Internet Explorer.

gOOGLE SUDDENLY SHOWED UP, i did not order it, nor did I want Google.

Please remove it. You are Phishing.

Sincerely,

Brenda J. Parker



Mike Kennedy wrote: 27 Jun 2007

Give me back my comcast web site, cancel google!



david e. jorgensen wrote: 26 Aug 2007

I did not authorize google to invade and set up on my computer. If this was my house/home the offending person would be under arrest. Google can fry for doing this


Just incredible!!

OK, the last one, David there, could possibly be spoofing but it's pretty much impossible to tell.

[chand]

Oh God, people who use the numbers above the letters!  My dad does that, every time I use his computer I go to type numbers and end up moving the cursor to the end of the text box or something.

I find myself doing that at times because I'm used to using a laptop which doesn't have the number pad.

[chand]

People really should read the replies on that page that Koant shared with us. It's absolutely incredible!

I like this one;

Dorothy P Newsome wrote: 26 Jan 2007

I do not understand about google at this time

Oh, and this weirdly poetic one;

darrin wrote: 18 Oct 2007

this google is too much

it break mine computer

pleas remove it from me

[greencalx]

Hmmm, I've never considered using the numeric keypad for anything other than long periods of numeric data entry. I thought that was what it is for. You need to move your fingers less far from the letter keys to get to the top row of numbers, so I don't quite understand what benefit is obtained from moving between keypads to type a couple of numbers. Especially if you switch frequently between keyboards that have them and keyboards that don't.

[sirhenry]

My latest client:
"Oh yes, I've been using Photoshop for years. The only problem is that every time I close a picture it disappears so I have to start it up again."

To which the only response I could think of was "No hourly rate is worth this."

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Submit it here... http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/. It's a very good blog archiving this sort of thing (although some of them are possibly made up). Example -

Client: "We want to show one of our industrial steel columns in our logo. I think it should show one large tower with two smaller storage tanks along the bottom."

Me: "Like this?" [I draw a long vertical shaft with two round circles at the base..]

Client: "It's PERFECT! Let's go with that."

[Steve Lampkins]

Yesterday, someone sent an announcement about a new service to a mailing list at work. And didn't use BCC. That list has over 100k people on it. Takes one person to reply all 'how do I use this service'... and over 100 people to hit reply all with 'please remove me from this list' or 'stop hitting reply all' or 'STOP WITH THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT'. With read receipts, etc., it adds up a bit. I'm a bit surprised that mail was going through with only a 2 hour delay. After a while, people started sending jokes and 'hello everyone' mails. Someone even rickrolled the whole organisation. Then someone sent an analysis of the mails in the form of a pie chart. OK, that one was quite funny.

[switchbitch]

I am embarrassed to admit that a work colleague just demonstrated the Aa button in Word, which enables you to alter the case on something you have already typed.

I felt very stupid, having said for years that there should be something like this invented! Mind you, last year I showed her how to use fit to 1 page when printing spreadsheets, so I guess we are quits there.

[hoverdonkey]

Yesterday, someone sent an announcement about a new service to a mailing list at work. And didn't use BCC. That list has over 100k people on it.

That's a big company

[tater pie]

Hmmm, I've never considered using the numeric keypad for anything other than long periods of numeric data entry. I thought that was what it is for. You need to move your fingers less far from the letter keys to get to the top row of numbers

As a touch typist I completely agree.  Can anyone please explain how I get the 3rd symbol on that button next to the '1' button?  I can get ` and ¬ but not the straight line.  I don't know why I need to know, it's just been bugging me.

[Angst in my Pants]

Do you mean ¦?  If so, hold the Alt Gr button (not the Alt button) before pressing the key.  That's also how you get the Euro symbol from the '4' key.

[An tSaoi]

On my keyboard the ¦ and | buttons are the other way round to the way they appear on screen.

[Ambient Sheep]

Happens sometimes, might be due to your country settings.

[rudi]

Happens sometimes, might be due to your country settings.

Are you calling An a yokel?

[The Duck Man]

I am embarrassed to admit that a work colleague just demonstrated the Aa button in Word, which enables you to alter the case on something you have already typed.

Jesus!

I don't know the difference between bcc and cc. I've only recently started working at a level where I need to deploy cc. I also don't use the numpad, for what it's worth. I remember being told off by work experience boss for not using them, but once you've got something automated in your head. I also touch type fairly quickly, but only with my two index fingers. I know I could probably go faster if I re-learnt it properly, but I really can't be bothered. To be honest, for someone who spends so much time online, I really should be faster at most things.

Anyway, just to draw attention away from me, my Dad double-clicks everything regardless of whether it requires a double or single click. Frequently I'll come back to my home PC to find masses of windows open at the bottom of the screen.

So yeah, let's all laugh at him, eh?

[Uncle TechTip]

BCC always seems a bit sneaky, does anyone use it?

[Zero Gravitas]

Yes but never without deriving a small thrill from the low-level sneakiness.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I don't know the difference between bcc and cc.

Carbon copy and blind carbon copy, innit. I use it at work when we're sending out enquiries and don't want rival businesses to know who else is being asked to bid.

Anyway, just to draw attention away from me, my Dad double-clicks everything regardless of whether it requires a double or single click. Frequently I'll come back to my home PC to find masses of windows open at the bottom of the screen.

We've got a guy using a laptop with mobile internet on one of our sites, and I had to visit yesterday to sort out his computer issues. He said the internet kept disconnecting. What was actually happening - he would rapidly double click the 'connect' button. The first click connects, the button instantly turns into a 'disconnect' button, meaning the second click disconnects. This is why he hasn't answered a single email for a week.

[rudi]

BCC always seems a bit sneaky, does anyone use it?

Yeah, all the time. I put my own address in the top bit then BCC everyone else. It's only polite.

[Steve Lampkins]

That's a big company

Apparently, 10 million extra e-mails were sent that day. I feel bad for the people who tried to recall their message. The 'message recall successful/failed' notifications are probably still creeping in.