Jumping the train tips, then

[ziggy starbucks]

I fancy jumping in front of the colchester train. Does anyone have tips?

[Lee]

I fancy jumping in front of the colchester train. Does anyone have tips?

Come off the A12 at Junction 27 northbound, go across the golf course to your left and stand in the middle of the track. Be prepared to wait a while though, National Express East Anglia are fucking useless. In fact they're so useless at arriving on time that the suicide rate has gone down.

[rudi]

I fancy jumping in front of the colchester train. Does anyone have tips?

Use legs. Oh, and don't do it; you're all kinds of smashing.

[kenneth trousers]

I work for a rail infrastructure company and I can tell you that the best way to get free travel is to get yourself a hi-viz orange vest, a pair of steel toe capped boots and when the ticket inspector approaches you, just mutter "train crew" and he'll leave you alone. On the odd occasion he might ask if you have a diagram, which is a print out of your train journey. So it might say, Depart Doncaster West Yard Sidings 09:57 Arrive at Claypole Loop 11:06, Depart Claypole Loop 11:23, Arrive Welwyn 13:07.
Me and a mate moved a train (well he did the driving, I just sat there reading the paper) from Doncaster to Welwyn last Monday and we had to get the train back up. We bought tickets anyway, £86 each, but the inspector never asked us, he just said "alright lads" and was on his way. Most infrastructure companies have a deal where they get free travel, ours doesn't.
Same goes for the barriers at stations, when I'm at work in a sidings and I go onto the platform to get some lunch or have a walk round town, whenever I get to the barriers they just let me through, I've never once been asked to show my PTS card or company ID.

[kngen]

possibly the most useful thing ever published in the Evening Standard

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23731140-fare-dodgers.do

still predicated on you actually paying a single fare, but definitely a nice thing to be armed with when dealing with railway stasi hellbent on measuring your feet