So what do you say to a girl to impress her, exactly?

[imitationleather]

If you met her in a squat I wouldn't worry about trying to impress her.

[gmoney]

Just had a thought: Maybe we could have a meet/me trying to get my oats crossover by us all going to the pub she works in and you telling her what a good poster I am and feeding me lines (chat-up ones, not drugs) and stuff?

You want all of us to be your wing man? It might get confusing, but I'm up for it. I can do this Thursday.

[SetToStun]

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as 'I have a gigantic penis and I know exactly how to use it', and 'I have an eight-inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears'."

[boki]

Just had a thought: Maybe we could have a meet/me trying to get my oats crossover by us all going to the pub she works in and you telling her what a good poster I am and feeding me lines (chat-up ones, not drugs) and stuff?

Could be worth a go, you free a week on Friday?

[The Boston Crab]

I get the symptoms 23 Daves has said he possesses in the past (I believe on MSN) though. When I'm interested in something to give a short reply just feels bizarre, I'd rather elaborate and hope the other person does the same, like a real conversation. I can't be bothered to speak for hours using one sentence or short replies, it's dull and often means I know very little about the other person. It can be daunting I agree, but still, I will take my chances.

That's one of the best features of CAB really, a high proportion of posts are long, detailed and interesting, whereas most other forums are one word sentenced replies for nearly every post.

QFT

[gmoney]

Agreed.

[vrailaine]

I get the symptoms 23 Daves has said he possesses in the past (I believe on MSN) though. When I'm interested in something to give a short reply just feels bizarre, I'd rather elaborate and hope the other person does the same, like a real conversation. I can't be bothered to speak for hours using one sentence or short replies, it's dull and often means I know very little about the other person. It can be daunting I agree, but still, I will take my chances.

That's one of the best features of CAB really, a high proportion of posts are long, detailed and interesting, whereas most other forums are one word sentenced replies for nearly every post.

Oh I'm the exact same, regularly pass character limits on comments and stuff like that though, it's undoubtedly too long and is bound to scare some people. Even though I'd type these replies up at a furious speed and it'd be all stream of consciousness, I can't help but think one that length looks incredibly eager and the fact they're over a computer leaves the possibility you were carefully dwelling over what to type.

...I have noticed that people seem a lot happier to meet me after a successful exchange of big long comments and they have a lot less difficulty talking to me, but paranoia makes me speculate it can just as easily swing the other way.


Doing weird things that don't include dancing has basically been the only successful method for me in nightclubs, maybe the girls just don't wanna dance either and I look too retarded to be a threat.
^{Any form of unusual activity can get you thrown outta those dumps too with ease though}

[Danger Man]

Impressing girls?

Normally I'd flash my watch about a bit and somehow contrive to spill the contents of my wallet on the floor so she could get a good look at my credit cards. But in this case I appear to be in a squat so I don't think that's going to work.

People who live in squats are all 'trustafarians' so she's obviously got more money than me.

With this in mind, I'd take her to a supermarket.

(In order to fulfill the lyrics of 'Common People', not because I'm hungry)

[_Hypnotoad_]

I HAVE CUM IN ME AND I WANT TO PUT IT IN YOU



(c)

[imitationleather]

She just sent me a message!

Unfortunately her English is worse than I remembered (I guess it's more noticeable when it's written/I'm sober) and I can barely understand it. Still though, it's a start.

[dr_christian_troy]

With this in mind, I'd take her to a supermarket.

(In order to fulfill the lyrics of 'Common People', not because I'm hungry)

...And with any luck, followed by a fulfillment of 'This Is Hardcore'.

[biggytitbo]

Tell the dozy foreign tart to sort her English out before you'll even consider boffing her.

Playing hard to get works!*

_{*not in my case though, sob.}

[imitationleather]

From her photos I sense she be maaaaassively out of my league. Oh well, nevermind.

[Ginyard]

Learn several choice phrases in her language. Deliver them with a smile. It shows her that you're keen to go that step further, that you're interested in her. Mind you, if one of the phrases is 'I want to invade your bush with my spunk bubulator' then the subtlety may be lost.

[imitationleather]

Heh I did actually attempt to talk in French to her. It made her laugh a lot. Apparently my accent was all wrong. Still, though: Result!

Just need to disfigure her a bit to bring her down to my level...

[Ginyard]

imitationleather is officially the best name to say in a fake french accent in the whole wildest world.

[imitationleather]

Hahahahahahahaha.

I just remembered that I showed her a video I had on my iPod of Ronnie O'Sullivan doing a 111 break against Higgins in order to demonstrate that my surname is similar to snooker.

Hahahahahahahaha. My God I am a twat.

[boki]

Show her this video

Gainsbourg and Whitney Houston

[_Hypnotoad_]

My God I am a twat.

It certainly sounds like it.

But on the plus side, she's seen you behaving like a twat (snooker on your ipod for fucks sake??) and still maintained her horn for you.

What do you have to lose? might as well give it a go

[biggytitbo]

Snooker on your ipod? Bollocks to this french floozy, I'll go out with you imitation you sound amazing.

[imitationleather]

I know a girl who is massively in to snooker. Hot doesn't even begin to describe it.

Sigh.

P.S. It's not weird that after I've had sex with a girl I refer to her as being "snookered", is it? My name is Elliot Snook, you see.

[massive bereavement]

"Hello, I am a black man and play golf"

[little pianist]

From her photos I sense she be maaaaassively out of my league. Oh well, nevermind.

Don't be silly. Just ask her out.. Drink in a pub is boring. Museum+lunch are good. Concerts+dinner are better. Get tickets to see some comedy TV show filming, (They're usually free, although she might not get many jokes she can't speak english, still might be good though)or just look in Time Out and pick something suitable and interesting. Anything she wouldn't normally do but is still fun (stop sniggering at the back). Second date: cook dinner for her.
Don't try and impress her. Just get on with it and don't be apologetic.

Why not take her out to a fort or a Victorian folly...?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Does she like owls?

[dr_christian_troy]

Take her back to yours and watch a French film to make her feel at home - Irréversible, for example.

[buttgammon]

Baise-moi would be a superb choice for a first date. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

[23 Daves]

I get the symptoms 23 Daves has said he possesses in the past (I believe on MSN) though. When I'm interested in something to give a short reply just feels bizarre, I'd rather elaborate and hope the other person does the same, like a real conversation. I can't be bothered to speak for hours using one sentence or short replies, it's dull and often means I know very little about the other person. It can be daunting I agree, but still, I will take my chances.

That's one of the best features of CAB really, a high proportion of posts are long, detailed and interesting, whereas most other forums are one word sentenced replies for nearly every post.

I seem to remember that I did used to do really quick, sharp forum posts when I first started using the Internet, but they became more wafflesome when I got involved with this place.  So it's probably all the fault of you lot.

I've always found most MSN messenger conversations tedious, though.  Now we have Skype and a lot of chat services use mics as well, it also seems daft and impractical to have keyboard-based conversations in that way.  I always thought it was supposed to be a cheap, crappy substitute for a phone conversation, not a replacement for one. 

[biggytitbo]

Take her home and show here the full 12 hours of the 1985 world snooker final. As the peice de resistence, offer to wear some big upside down glasses whilst you have sex with her.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

...and when you cum, do that little 'I told you so' finger wagging.

[biggytitbo]

And whatever you do, don't under-cut your last stroke.