A totally different type of people

[Serge]

I've seen plenty of people in Standard Class working at their laptops during journeys, and I agree with Jem that if they didn't have the first class carriages, there would be more room for everyone who wants to use the train. I've never really had any problems with other passengers on trains, mainly because I tend to shut everybody out by using my Ipod.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Most trains of 5 carriages or less only have either 1 carriage or half a carriage of first class seating anyway. Given how important the service is to many people who need to work on it, I think it's right that they provide an area on the train where you can work without distractions, even if you have to pay for it. On certain routes or at certain times of the day you'd be fine to work in the standard carriages but it's very difficult indeed during rush hour in a noisy crowded carriage to do anything except cry at the horror of existence.

[Johnny Yesno]

Most trains of 5 carriages or less only have either 1 carriage or half a carriage of first class seating anyway. Given how important the service is to many people who need to work on it, I think it's right that they provide an area on the train where you can work without distractions, even if you have to pay for it. On certain routes or at certain times of the day you'd be fine to work in the standard carriages but it's very difficult indeed during rush hour in a noisy crowded carriage to do anything except cry at the horror of existence.

Why can't there be a designated quiet area at no extra charge?

[Lfbarfe]

Book far enough in advance, and first class tickets can sometimes be cheaper than the standard class equivalent. However, has this twannock not noticed the increasing provision of quiet carriages in standard class?

[Still Not George]

Simply: no. Sorry, but I just can't empathise with that. I've never really had any memorable trouble with fellow passengers at all, the odd annoying gang maybe, but they soon get off and aren't really a problem. It's the cost, when compared to the quality of service, that boggles the brain.

What exactly is wrong with the quality of service in your opinion? You've mentioned the overcrowding, but is there anything else?

As for the cost... nah, can't say that I've ever had a problem with it. Considering inflation it's cheap as houses for almost every journey I make on any regular basis.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

However, has this twannock not noticed the increasing provision of quiet carriages in standard class?

Unless he has eyeballs in his nostrils, probably not.

[Still Not George]

Book far enough in advance, and first class tickets can sometimes be cheaper than the standard class equivalent. However, has this twannock not noticed the increasing provision of quiet carriages in standard class?

The preponderance of cunts on British railways act as a counter to the usefulness of quiet carriages.

[Jemble Fred]

As for the cost... nah, can't say that I've ever had a problem with it. Considering inflation it's cheap as houses for almost every journey I make on any regular basis.

Well I'm very jealous then.

It takes 80 minutes to get to London, and costs on average about £50, if you buy the tickets online from the cheapest place, and a week in advance. Oh, and off-peak.

I do recall a way of getting a return ticket online for something like £38, but that's still a huge amount for such a basic journey. As for visiting family in Wakefield, you can forget it. Going up to Ludlow to visit parents? Maybe twice a year, if I save up.

Now somebody may come along and say "Yes but if you go to notthattrainlinethistrainlineyoutwat.com and book a month in advance and travel via Basingstoke after midnight you can do it for 50p..." but I think that's beside the point, you shouldn't have to go to any such extents. To catch a train? From one bit of southern England to another? It shouldn't be like flying to Magaluf.

I don't think you need any other reasons to despair about our train service when you have overcrowding and massive fare prices, that should be enough I'd have thought. But as it happens, I've regularly felt let down by customer services, the standard of trains, cleanliness, information etc, etc. Being privatised didn't help, nobody ever knows what's going on or who's to blame.

I could go on, but almost ironically, I'm very late for something. Tell Mook to bugger off from me when he comes back with another car-based solution. Cheers!

[biggytitbo]

I'm willing to bet that you've never actually travelled on the roof of a train. Am I right?

Wrong!

[biggytitbo]

Even when you find a train that isn't filthy, late, overcrowded and with not a single anti-social noisy cunt on it - it still costs £10 billion for a return ticket to anywhere but the next station. It's like we're paying a huge premium for what is at best 'acceptable'. What annoys me is we have private rail operators, but they can only operate the shitty service they do with huge public subsidy. Just nationalize the bloody thing rather than this bizarre dogs dinner semi-privatised system we have now.

[Lfbarfe]

The preponderance of cunts on British railways act as a counter to the usefulness of quiet carriages.

How so? Given that the main complaint is noise, and that quiet carriages I've been in tend to live up to their name, I don't see a problem. And there's a preponderance of cunts everywhere.

[Lfbarfe]

Just nationalize the bloody thing rather than this bizarre dogs dinner semi-privatised system we have now.

Yes. This. Exactly this. Not going to happen, though, sadly. Even in their terrible state, I love travelling by rail.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

If I were to suddenly need to get on a train and go to London it would cost me an arm and a leg.  It would be cheaper for me to drive there, park illegally, get a ticket, pay the fine and then drive back.  If I actually got clamped it could still work out cheaper (depending on the clamping firm).

If I were to go first class it would be cheaper to fly to fucking Australia.  I'm not joking.

The prices of train travel sickens me.  We really do need to renationalise it and sort it out.

[Johnny Yesno]

The preponderance of cunts on British railways act as a counter to the usefulness of quiet carriages.

So the solution is to provide a way for those that can afford it to buy their way out of sharing a carriage with the cunts? That's better than solving the problem for everyone including those that can't afford it, is it?

[Jemble Fred]

See, I don't get the 'I hate travelling with cunts' thing. I always find that everyone generally shares a kind of Dunkirk spirit in Standard Class, all being pissed on from a great height and paying through the nose for the experience, and all, like Sam Beckett, just trying, hoping, praying... to get home.

[Still Not George]

So the solution is to provide a way for those that can afford it to buy their way out of sharing a carriage with the cunts?

Oh no, you misunderstand me. First class is a bullshit solution. What we need to do is arm conductors and guards. With flamethrowers. Or at least a big fucking knife.

[Still Not George]

Wrong!

Really? Do tell.

[Danger Man]

So the solution is to provide a way for those that can afford it to buy their way out of sharing a carriage with the cunts?

It seems socially acceptable to do something similar with hospitals and education, so it's hardly a surprise when we do the same thing with travel.

[rudi]

What's annoying is that they've removed tables in Standard and made having the use of one a feature of First. Other than that I'm usually surprised by how much room there is on the new trains.

[Danger Man]

Like Sam Beckett, just trying, hoping, praying... to get home.

'All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Rail again. Rail better'

[biggytitbo]

Really? Do tell.

I'm not allowed to.

[Braintree]

Another idea would be to bring back Third Class, which might be a way to divide the people in Second Class who know how to behave in public from the ones who don't. And sitting on the roof of the train (like they do in India) could be allowed as a kind of 'Fourth Class'. Though I'd imagine Fourth Class would probably be popular with students.

I don't just whinge, I think of solutions.

Tsk! Megatrain! Get with the times, Granpa!

[Johnny Yesno]

Coincidentally, I got this email today.

RMT Strike Action On ScotRail Services
Dear Mr Yesno

As you may be aware, the RMT trade union has voted to strike over the introduction of driver door operated trains with ticket examiners on the new Glasgow to Edinburgh via Airdrie to Bathgate route.

We have done everything we reasonably can to prevent this unjustified strike action and want to remind you of the days which will be affected.

We are deeply disappointed by the strikes, especially as the Scottish Government is investing £300 million in the route, which will offer major benefits to passengers - and create 130 new jobs.

We believe our contingency plans mean that we will be able to operate the majority of services and it is our intention to do this.

Oh, thanks ScotRail for putting the boot in to the RMT while you're being so helpful. I'm sure your passengers will feel so much more secure if you manage to reduce the number of staff on each train to one. 130 new jobs, you say? Shame you forgot to mention how many guards will be made redundant if you extend the introduction of driver-only trains to all your routes.

[Johnny Yesno]

It seems socially acceptable to do something similar with hospitals and education, so it's hardly a surprise when we do the same thing with travel.

I think you can guess my feelings on that...

[Johnny Yesno]

Oh no, you misunderstand me. First class is a bullshit solution. What we need to do is arm conductors and guards. With flamethrowers. Or at least a big fucking knife.

I think you can guess my feelings on that... :D

[biggytitbo]

Reply to one of those adverts on every website on the internet promising to show you how to get 'ripped' in 4 weeks. If you get all buff no train fool would dare mess with you.

[Danger Man]

I think you can guess my feelings on that...

Yes, and I'd guess I share them. But until The Great Leap Forward I reserve the option to occasionally buy my way out of having to share my travelling time with idiots.

[greencalx]

I'm afraid my experience is very much that quiet carriages are anything but. Partly this is because if you book ahead you often get stuck in one without asking for it, so you end up with stag and hen parties in the quiet carriage who, let's face it, are not going to sit in meek silence for three hours. You need a table to do any written work, or use a sensibly-sized laptop; and then, quite often, if all four seats around a table are occupied, this becomes quite cramped and impractical. So yes, if you want to be sure you can get some work done, then it usually has to be first class. Of course, being employed largely from the public purse, I usually have to do so at my own expense - which is silly, because that same employer loses a day's work out of me when they insist I have to get the cheapest possible ticket.

[madhair60]

If I have the choice between cramp or comfort, I'm going to choose comfort.  If I have a choice between reek, noise, and family reunions of people who do not speak my language, or else quiet, peace and mutual civility – guess which one I'll pick.  This doesn't make me a bastard.

[Hitler]

Come the glorious day, up against the wall, last cigarette, bosh bosh.

Bosch bosch!


nnngh! Terminal erection!