Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 01:08:46 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Telesale boss who can’t fire people properly

Started by Twit 2, January 07, 2022, 10:28:21 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Twit 2

"I don't care if you can tickle the whiskers on a salamander's arsehole - you're fired!"


Ferris

You are fired from this meeting, please go back to your desk.

Sonny_Jim

Right, well.  So.  Hah.  H-How are you settling in?  Good? good.  Getting the hang of things, I see.  Good.

I wanted to talk to you about your performance.  It turns out we've had some complaints....  About you, yes.  It's regarding the way you've spoken to some people.  Specifically the 'accents' you've been doing.  I know you got the Mike Reid DVD in the secret Santa, but that's no reason to speak to our potential customers like that.

I'm afraid we're considering letting you go.  For realsies this time.  You had your warning about the 'hilarious' Jim Davidson routines, this time it's your final warning.  One more slip up and you'll no longer work for LeadGen International.  And no slapping my bum on the way out either.

shoulders


Glebe

"It's just your unconvincing sales technique. It... oh go on have another chance! But this is the last one, REALLY this time!"

pancreas

'Make like a porcelain teapot with enamel glaze. You're fired!'

the Fallen

I am not feeling it, Justin. You know what to do.

Goldentony

#8
you're fucking working here still

Sonny_Jim

"George?  What are you doing in the stationary cupboard with the lights off?  Aren't you supposed to be doing that exit interview with Suzie?  She's sat there waiting!"

"Just leave me ALONE *sobs*"

the Fallen

Take some time off, Justin.

Don't worry about your workload.

(internally : wow, he took that well!)

Glebe

"You've been doing this for ten years without making a single sale. So I'm afraid I'll have to give you one more chance."

the Fallen

"Empty your desk of all personal effects but if you come in tomorrow by accident don't feel bad about it, we will find something for you to do"

the Fallen

"You're fired."

Justin: Can I make you an amazing offer that will see my continued employment and benefit you, sir, in huge, unbelievable ways? It'll only take three minutes of your time!

"... Go on..."

Glebe

"Sorry boss that's another sale lost."

"Have a promotion!"

Fishfinger

Yeah, we don't have a category on the spreadsheet for what you did so yeah I'm gonna let you carry on there, good job. Don't fucking touch me.

the Fallen

HR haven't quite approved it yet Russell but I'd like to wish you and the kids it's goodbye

No, no take it. I have some decency left.

What are you expecting me to do Russell? Sit here and observe as a mechanistic process happens to a fellow being? I mean, shit, Russell, this is a paper concerns company, I feel guilty about the fucking trees for fuck's sake, you want to bring animals or - so help me god - Nazis into this, Russell?


..Russell?

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

"I've just had a sniff of your water bottle and it seems to be filled with vodka. Don't do that again, please".

the Fallen

Do you want me to beg you to come back? I am prepared to, if that's what it takes.

Janice, prepare my knee-knapkin (that works better in print than it does out loud, which is par for the course)

I mean if the guy isn't down to get right to fu haha! Just a silly boss

Don't leave me us seriously I don't know what the company would do without you. We will kill ourselves over you. But don't let that stop you. I mean literally murder eachother / ourselves and I guess you'd just have to learn how to grow up & deal with that, isn't it Russell

Fishfinger

And that's why



With regret



I'm going to apply the block code to...



Fuck. Grant you a long weekend.



Shit I also cancelled a Direct Debit hold on a sec

Glebe

"Twenty years. Twenty years and NOT ONE SINGLE SUCCESSFUL CALL. So... have my job! Go on you're the boss now!"

Replies From View