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Desolation: The Malignant Seven

Started by Ferris, February 21, 2022, 03:00:48 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Crumb

New miracle badness cure is contraindicated for phimotics

Ferris

Bempt Luego is banned in 193 nations by the UN and WHO.

Glebe

Mick Hucknell explodes atop Ben Nevis, his flaming remains describing a pattern something akin to a smiling supernova.

non capisco

Adam Woodyatt pleading with a manager of WH Smiths to play his cover of 'Gangnam Style' over the shop speakers.

"It's a programmed playlist looping from a central workstation, Mr. Woodyatt. I can't just stop it and put a CD-R in something. Look, why don't you try the Scope over the road?"

"OK."

"Is it called 'Ian Style'?"

"Yes."

Glebe

Quote from: non capisco on August 10, 2022, 11:20:02 PMAdam Woodyatt pleading with a manager of WH Smiths to play his cover of 'Gangnam Style' over the shop speakers.

"It's a programmed playlist looping from a central workstation, Mr. Woodyatt. I can't just stop it and put a CD-R in something. Look, why don't you try the Scope over the road?"

"OK."

"Is it called 'Ian Style'?"

"Yes."

Inevitably:


Ferris

Quote from: Glebe on August 10, 2022, 11:12:58 PMMick Hucknell explodes atop Ben Nevis, his flaming remains describing a pattern something akin to a smiling supernova.

Brilliant

Glebe


Glebe

Wanking in an inflatable boat as the rapids approach.

Chicory

A mid 90s sawdust brained albatross of a child buys his dad Salt 'N' Pepa's 'Whatta Man' for Father's Day.

Vodkafone

Marketing manager Rachel tells her husband she wants sex but "Hurry! Offer ends 8 pm! Come on my tits before it's too late!"

Glebe

Local Headmaster caught dancing naked to 'Martika's Kitchen' in the local playground.


Glebe

Ryan Giggs develops a special Velcro attachment for his anus.

PlanktonSideburns

Trying to make a new genre of music using Pete best drum loops as amen breaks

Your dad makes the obvious 'not even the best amen breaks in the Beatles joke'

Joe Qunt

Roman Abramovich drapes you in Siberian finery. He grimaces.

"It look better on Ricardo Carvalho..."

Glebe

A PowerPoint fuck-up introduces your sweaty frenulum fetish to 800 conference attendees.

Glebe

A man named Fuckballs Cuntface collects slug samples near Snetterton.

Glebe

Tiverton to Dumfries on a saddle-less bike.

jobotic

Passing someone walking Dumfries to Tiverton awkwardly holding a saddle between their legs all the way.

You don't acknowledge one another.

Glebe

Quote from: jobotic on August 14, 2022, 09:54:21 PMPassing someone walking Dumfries to Tiverton awkwardly holding a saddle between their legs all the way.

You don't acknowledge one another.

Next day, sat on a large cushion in Dumfries worst pub, in he walks. Places the saddle on the bar and grins at you.

Glebe

Derbyshire's weirdest hairdresser enjoys glueing his customer's leavings to his skin and howling at the moon during weekends.

Joe Qunt

You boil a Cornishman's cock in a Best Western hotel room kettle.

Glebe

Rainy Monday in January, kippers for brunch, phimosis playing up, here in Davyhulme.

Ferris

A misplaced bid for freedom involving a pedalo and the North Sea.

Glebe

#743
Quote from: Ferris on August 15, 2022, 12:00:53 PMA misplaced bid for freedom involving a paedo and the North Sea.

A perineum fanatic ends up embarrassing itself in Walsall during an extended pub crawl.

KaraokeDragon

Your first wank in 6 months ends in disaster when the coastguard must be summoned to fish you out of your cumsock.

Glebe

You haven't rang your mate Aubrey in six months but when you do he just goes "Haven't you got a job, wife and kids yet? Get that sorted first then maybe we can rekindle our life-long friendship!"

Ferris


Glebe

Billingsgate is overrun by wanking sailors.

Glebe


PlanktonSideburns