Living by one's self

[poison popcorn]

living alone can be quite unpleasant unless you have plenty of stuff you can be doing. not that i've a vast experience of it, but i was always very glad of company after spending more than a couple of days on my own.
i'm waiting to hear about a housing association flat just now, and am hoping all goes well and i don't become a miserable sod if i get it. i suppose getting moved in and decorating and all that would leave little time for such things...

[My Giddy Aunt]

especially if you're trying to get over a lady/man disaster.

[obvious] is that when your partner makes a change in their lives and you rapidly realise there are compatability issues? [/obvious].

I have been renting with 2 close friends for 3 years now. Of late it has come to my attention that, no matter how much i 'love' these people and get on very well indeed, i dont want to live with them. For that matter, i dont think i want to live with anyone (apart from perhaps a soul mate love vixen sometime soon).

This thread rings true in many places. The idea of having space to do my own thing as noisily or badly timed as i choose is great. I want to cook in my pants sometimes. Or maybe take up jogging or whatever without it becoming a topic of conversation and debated about why i had chosen this course after not doing it before. In short, i want independence.
If you hate living on your own  i guess you are either a different type of person, or you havent hit the same wall as i have now.

The idea of having alot of time to myself is daunting but quite exciting really.

The major fear i guess i have is i dont want to go a bit mad. Its not necessarily equatable but i went on holiday on my own, only for a week, and had a very pleasant time with myself. But i definitely, even in that short amount of time, went a little mad. I also drank a lot of alcohol but i think thats a holiday thing more than a sign i will descend into genuine alcoholism not the borderline position i walk now. Hope so anyway.

[untitled_london]

having spent pretty much the whole of my life in company of some sort..

living with parents
uni - flatmates
miss untitled
flatmate
short spell back at the parents
diff flatmate

havinghad a place to muself for the past year has been great.

its not just the wanking in the lounge either, it the sense that the place is yours you run the show, the bills are being done on time and the place is clean. and if its not - it my place so f'k off.

miss untitled in the above list stays over every weekend, and i'm not sure how bad a thing it is to say, but sometimes i wish i had my weekends back too.

as i hit 30 in august (although publicly i shall say 29 and on any application forms i shall maintain that i am a wisend 25 year old) i am very much hanging on to the last of whatever independence i have, before the mortgage and marriage things hits home.

[mwude]

Nice neighbours really help in a living alone situation.  Obviously it's completely down to chance whether you end up living next to a sordid pervert who plays japanese industrial gabba techno until 3am every night or to people who are popping round offering you sugar & beer & so on.  Just pray that it's the latter.

I lived on my own in France for 9 months.  I shared a balcony with my Finnish next door neighbour which was very pleasant whilst we sunbathed in the hot summer.  And the couple over the road were the nicest folk on earth.  Their first sight of me was out on the balcony drinking beer at 10am (nearing the end of some birthday celebrations from the night before).  Despite this they threw chocolate easter eggs at me & invited me over for a meal.  

After only a couple of weeks after the first meeting they gave me the keys to their flat & said I could let myself in anytime to watch their massive tv.  The world cup was coming up & I only had a radio (and also did that listening to talk radio thing, even getting Talk Sport sometimes at night which isn't bad considering I was in Provence).  They also gave me some quite cool sandals because they were disturbed by the fact that I would wander round my flat in white socks.  Nicest people I've ever met they were.

They had a beautiful little roof garden as well which contained a couple of marijuana plants (not really for smoking, just because they liked the look of them).  As a going away present I gave them a bible.  They looked slightly surprised until I suggested they opened it.  It had been hollowed out by someone else & I'd stuck a fair old chunk of resin in there.  "Ah! The gospel according to mwude" was their quite-funny-for-a-frenchman response.

[Almost Yearly]

For more than six months once I lived alone in a rented room with a king size bed and a black and white portable telly with shit reception. I could afford an eighth of crap hash a week, and every night I saved a little doobie to watch Prisoner Cell Block H with, followed by my bedtime wank. I didn't meet a single lady the whole time, let alone pull one. I tried playing chess against myself, but I always knew what I was going to do next.

[Gazeuse]

I think I've mentioned before that when I got lonely in my three years living alone in Leeds, I used to wrap myself up in blankets and pretended to be a baby owl.

Radio and TV are great though...Even if there's nothing on, the noise is quite warming.

[untitled_london]

i doubt i would have made it thru the past year or so of livibg alone had it not been for the internet - it definately helps keeping one grounded. i find TV depressing, and i dont have a stereo.

baby owl......coo coool


(thats my baby pigeon impression :p)

[Brinx]

[long-time lurker, first proper post]

So far I've been stuck at home due to a lack of suitable people to move out with and desire to throw income at useless junk rather than higher rent of going elsewhere.

Planning on moving out to Canada though next year for a while at least, which will probably involve living on my own to start with. As others have said I'm in the camp of being easily able to entertain myself so hopefully it won't result in hanging from a lampshade. On the other hand I've had the house to myself for the past two weeks and happily wander round chatting to myself from room to room so perhaps a degree of.. eccentricity.. is inevitable. Having a cat who's perpetually hungery helps too.

[imitationleather]

Don't do it! Living with 3 or 4 girls is a completely insane thing to do. A friend of mine did it for 3 years and he was almost driven mad by it. <Warning - sterotypes coming up> Girls are strange creatures, and when they live together they become even weirder. They will be constantly falling out with one another, and ganging up on one, who next week will suddenly be their best friend, whilst the former best friend will now not being spoken too, and during the whole of this, you will be expected to agree with everything, and realise that x is a real bitch one week, but now she's great - and to do this without actually being told. You must just KNOW.

The lady who's currently on my arm whenever I go around the town lives in a set-up like this and it certainly seems to be the truth. Her and the other female flatmates I've met spend all their time bitching about the sole male flatmate and discussing how they're going to chuck him out and get another woman in instead. That might just be because he's a complete and utter wanker though. He is Australian, afterall. I don't know for sure, I haven't met him.

On the plus side, she said that they're all very "open" and walk around in their underwear, which sent my teenage fantasy mind ticking into overtime... You've got to take the rough with smooth, it seems.

[23 Daves]

In my entire life, I've only managed to live on my own for three months, and that was in a student house in Portsmouth over the summer 'between housemates' and on a reduced rent deal.  I found it great.  The place was the tidiest it had ever been, I wasn't beseiged by anyone's odd friends (one of my housemates at the time had a 'collection' of eccentric friends who didn't seem as amusing to me as they clearly did to him, not unless you like people constantly ringing you at two in the morning because they're having a mental crisis, anyway), I could do what I want, when I wanted, and didn't have to answer to anyone.

I'd love to have repeated the experience at some point over the following six or seven years, but sadly I've never had the money, and have always lived in shared accommodation.

Shared accommodation tends to be OK(ish) if you're living with friends, but as I found out in the last place, the fact that they're interesting and generally nice people has no bearing on their personal habits.  The unknown quantity - where you pick a houseshare from Loot and try to go with it - is less predictable.  Over the years of doing that I've had money stolen, sleepness nights, and lived with three other women who, I have to say, were among the least attractive and likeable racists I've ever encountered, and one of them would regularly loudly practice "The Wind Beneath My Wings" for a karaoke competition at all hours.  They were class.  And no, I didn't move in knowing they'd be there, they were mates of one of my housemates who were moved in after several other people moved out.  They didn't like me much, either.  

These days I share with the girlfriend and a female student, and finding space to do my own thing is very difficult.  I've got the day off work today, and I'm just sitting indoors whilst my girlfriend is at work soaking up the silence.  It sounds grossly unappreciative as I do love her, but everyone needs space to themselves now and then.

[23 Daves]

In my entire life, I've only managed to live on my own for three months, and that was in a student house in Portsmouth over the summer 'between housemates' and on a reduced rent deal.  I found it great.  The place was the tidiest it had ever been, I wasn't beseiged by anyone's odd friends (one of my housemates at the time had a 'collection' of eccentric friends who didn't seem as amusing to me as they clearly did to him, not unless you like people constantly ringing you at two in the morning because they're having a mental crisis, anyway), I could do what I want, when I wanted, and didn't have to answer to anyone.

I'd love to have repeated the experience at some point over the following six or seven years, but sadly I've never had the money, and have always lived in shared accommodation.

Shared accommodation tends to be OK(ish) if you're living with friends, but as I found out in the last place, the fact that they're interesting and generally nice people has no bearing on their personal habits.  The unknown quantity - where you pick a houseshare from Loot and try to go with it - is less predictable.  Over the years of doing that I've had money stolen, sleepness nights, and lived with three other women who, I have to say, were among the least attractive and likeable racists I've ever encountered, and one of them would regularly loudly practice "The Wind Beneath My Wings" for a karaoke competition at all hours.  They were class.  And no, I didn't move in knowing they'd be there, they were mates of one of my housemates who were moved in after several other people moved out.  They didn't like me much, either.  

These days I share with the girlfriend and a female student, and finding space to do my own thing is very difficult.  I've got the day off work today, and I'm just sitting indoors whilst my girlfriend is at work soaking up the silence.  It sounds grossly unappreciative as I do love her, but everyone needs space to themselves now and then.

[23 Daves]

Whoops, double post.  Sorry.

[Ambient Sheep]

[long-time lurker, first proper post]

Hello Brinx, welcome aboard.  :-)

Your name isn't Matt, by any chance, is it?  :twisted:

[Brinx]

Nope, David. Sorry to disappoint :)

[untitled_london]

[long-time lurker, first proper post]

Hello Brinx, welcome aboard.  :-)

Your name isn't Matt, by any chance, is it?  :twisted:

HAHAHAHA

cheap gag - but still good

[Hypnotoad.]

Hello all

Well, I have recently started living on my own, and find it both sucks and is fantastic in equal measure

It beats living with my parents, and the resultant depression that came from that. Not that my parents werent welcoming, quite the opposite, they loved having me there, but living out of one room did my fucking head in

So I moved in with a girl I was with at the time, we eventually split, mainly because I was a shit to live with, never having lived without good old mum before, and so has ensued an important period in my life - living on my own

Its expensive, before I get to go on the piss, I've done a grand. Thats not including petrol to get to work, shopping, clothes etc, so a big adjustment was required

Its great to do what you want, watch what you want, sit on the interweb in your cacks all day long playing manhunt, watching my DVDs all day etc

But the lonliness is awful, absolutely awful

I dont have the money, nor the right quantity of friends to be out all the time, and so many hot sunday afternoons, or saturday nights are spent indoors alone wondering what the fuck i'm going to do with my time

In conclusion, I think its 50/50, if you're a bit down, its shit, if things are going well, then its fantastic. If I get out on a friday night and have a great time, and then end up sitting in with my cat watching films on saturday its cool. But 48 hours without human contact over a weekend is not healthy

My diet has also gone to shit. I find it hard not to go to the fridge and start making lovely food at all times of day and night, the only answer, for a weak person like me, is to not order nice stuff in the first place !!

[butnut]

Hello Homer J!

Yes, I'm looking forward to the freedom. But the days being alone are slightly scary, but I do this every so often at the moment, and I haven't killed anyone...yet. It's funny, because about 2 weeks ago I was desparate to live with someone, and now I'm really looking forward to my own place. I think it was just a matter of persuading myself.

[untitled_london]

but you have the internet. you have IM clients, you can speak to people all day from all over the world.

i agree its not the greatest solution, but it does work, and you can have a good laugh drinking with someone 200 miles away. the absurdity of it makes it all the more fun imo.

plus, you mention that you work, so surely some down time etc must be a respite.

[Hypnotoad.]

The girl thing is weird.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this slightly bizarre problem I have with women, and this flaw in my personality cost me an absolute cracker. I vowed never to do it again, and promptly lost the next one for the same reason

When you're living with someone, time on your own sounds fab. Until it is forced on you

My ex went away for the weekend, and I had an evening in my spotless flat, listening to old U2 CD's (when they were good !!!)  very loud, playing Fight Night 2004 on my XBox and knocking back JD and coke all night

This was fine for one night, but you know since she left, I havent done it once !!!!!

Instead, on  weekend nights I've been stuck in, I've done depressing things or gone for a run to clear my head, because those kinda evenings take on a different meaning when you are free to do them whenever you want

So the moral is, when you're in a relationship, enjoy the little time alone to the max, but dont want for it too much when you have a lovely woman by your side

But whats weird, is when I got back into a relationship, I wished I'd quit my whining when i was single, and just enjoyed my time alone !!!! not worried about meeting someone until it just happened in the right unforced way

I dunno, never happy me