Half Man, Half Biscuit

[Xander]

Adrian Brezhnev's post on Dean Friedman reminded me of said band, which I wanted yous guys opinions on. I don't think there's been a thread on Half Man, Half Biscuit before, or at least a search didn't show one. Personally, I've just re-discovered them after about a year of not listening to them, and they're still top notch. Whilst their music can sometimes get a little grating and rough, lyrically, their exceedingly talented. The amount of puns and wordplay they get into their songs and titles is simply staggering. Two of my favourites come from "Joy Divison Oven Gloves"

He went to a post-punk postcard fair, in his Joy Division oven Gloves

Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns, in his Joy Divison Oven Gloves

Their bitter, sardonic, cynical but wryly observed lyrics seem to mirror the general contempt for humanity held by many of the 'whores here. Songs such as "24 Hour Garage People", and "Paintball's Coming Home" are especially genius, and sound like mini victories over the people they resent. I'd like to quote them more, but anything I put here is largely out of context and would lack a lot of humour. The middle aged, rough around the edges punk sound only serves to better the acidic lyrics, but at times it can get a little too rough.

They can also do love songs, such as "What is Chatteris?", and it's absolutely no surprise that John Peel was a firm supporter of the band.

When I went to a gig AGES ago, there were some drunken idiots screaming the names of the most popular songs in between songs, as if to say "Look at me, I know them, I do, I'm a bigger fan than you". Halfway through the concert, Nigel, the lead singer, said "Look, in case you haven't noticed, you're the type of person we hate the most. But just for you, we're not going to play any of the songs you've so nicely and politely requested this evening." Heh, that shut them up. It wouldn't have been too bad, but obviously the venue was the size of a shoebox.

[9]

Yeah, I really need to check out their stuff. Bizarrely, I was having a chat with their guitarist round his mum's house on christmas day. He paints lovely little watercolours. That's about all I know about them! :-)

[Nearly Annually]

Fuckin'ell it's Abi Titmuss.

[Xander]

Fuckin'ell it's Abi Titmuss.

I was waiting for that joke, actually. I laughed so little that I, in fact, inhaled my keyboard!

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Where's Joy Division Oven Gloves from - is that a new one?

[Xander]

Where's Joy Division Oven Gloves from - is that a new one?

God, now you're asking. The only place I've heard it is from some session tracks they recorded before John Peel died. They're on their website - go to "News", then scroll down to the "Audio" link - http://www.hmhb.co.uk

[Ben Ordinary]

I bloomin' love HMHB, especially "Used To Be In Evil Gazebo", "Eno Collaboration", "Lark Descending", "Carry On Cremating" and of course the evergreen 'why-arent-they-singing-it-in-pubs-up-and-down-the-country?" classic, "Bob Wilson: Anchorman". No great insights into their craft here. I just like them plenty much. Thanks.

I could've been like Lou Barlow,
But I'm more like Ken Barlow...

[Ciarán2]

They are bloody bloody bloody great, and while we're about it, does anyone have the lyrics to "Eno Collaboration"? Can't find them on the internet.

[Tom Pynchon's Photo]

I remember they wrote a song called Rod Hull is Alive, Why?


Well he's dead now - so I hope those scouse cunts are happy!!! (which considering he died trying to fix his TV aerial so he could watch Mank Utd I guess they will be)


that said - 99% of gargolyles really do look like Bob Todd, as they claimed.

Enough of this, time to go seal clubbing.

[Xander]

They are bloody bloody bloody great, and while we're about it, does anyone have the lyrics to "Eno Collaboration"? Can't find them on the internet.

Sorry, I don't, but that's something I've noticed. Despite their popularity, they have very few lyrics on the internet. It's a mildly interesting thing, and also disappointing, considering their clever lyrics. Currently listening to Four Skinny Indie Kids, which is my new favourite. It overtakes Joy Division Oven Gloves in the singalong stakes.

As for Rod Hull, I had that as my MSN username the other day, and I had EVERYONE that  came online correcting me that he was deceased.

[Boss Mew]

'Joy Division Oven Gloves' was probably my favourite song of last year

Can any of you fine people recommend me a HMHB album to start off me on my way?

[Xander]

Hmmm...

"Voyage to the Bottom of the Road" has some of our favourites on. It includes "Paintball's Coming Home" - their attack on the middle classes, and Ben and Ciaran's "Eno Collaboration". This was a post '96 release, and was the start of the reinvigouration of the band, after the intial split and rehash.

 "Back in the DHSS" has some of their most iconic songs, because it was their first release, and includes "The Trumpton Riots", "Sealclubbing" and "Fuckin 'Ell it's Fred Titmus"

Both of these are ace. Unlike many other bands, they're consistent. You'll find at least one track on each album you'll love, and will keep you coming back. The later albums are much more mixed in their style, though, and the sound is much more refined. Whether this is a good or bad thing, the jury is still out!

[kidsick5000]

Ive tried to get my friends over hear to listen to them, telling them its as good an explanation of life in britain as you can get. Or at least what life was like for me back home-24hr garage people particularly.

There was a site with some Peel and a Kershaw session on it. Cant remember it.

They seem to be one of those bands you like when youre 14-15 drift out of and then come back to. But again maybe thats just me.

[Adrian Brezhnev]

I've always thought they are great - and deserve more mainstram recognition, and not just because they once wrote a song about one of Dean Friedman's children.

[Ben Ordinary]

There was a site with some Peel and a Kershaw session on it. Cant remember it.

Ok, its already been mentioned in this thread so here's a more specific-o-link. http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/audio/index.htm
God bless the makers of that there site I say! I'd not heard "Joy Division Oven Gloves" before and its a blummin brillingant.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

They are bloody bloody bloody great, and while we're about it, does anyone have the lyrics to "Eno Collaboration"? Can't find them on the internet.

Sorry, I don't, but that's something I've noticed. Despite their popularity, they have very few lyrics on the internet. It's a mildly interesting thing, and also disappointing, considering their clever lyrics.

I heard that Nigel Blackwell doesn't like including lyrics on albums - probably for 'looks too self-important' reasons. And he's not keen on fans doing lyric sites because they always mishear stuff - an insistence that seems to be respected.

It's irritating, because it anyone deserves a lyrics site it's HMHB.

'I know Ono, and she knows Bono/And he knows Eno's phone goes thus...'

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

They are bloody bloody bloody great, and while we're about it, does anyone have the lyrics to "Eno Collaboration"? Can't find them on the internet.

Sorry, I don't, but that's something I've noticed. Despite their popularity, they have very few lyrics on the internet. It's a mildly interesting thing, and also disappointing, considering their clever lyrics.

I heard that Nigel Blackwell doesn't like including lyrics on albums - probably for 'looks too self-important' reasons. And he's not keen on fans doing lyric sites because they always mishear stuff - an insistence that seems to be respected.

It's irritating, because it anyone deserves a lyrics site it's HMHB.

'I know Ono, and she knows Bono/And he knows Eno's phone goes thus...'

[Xander]

[


. And he's not keen on fans doing lyric sites because they always mishear stuff - an insistence that seems to be respected.

I know. I was going to stick a quote in regarding people they hate, but I couldn't get the complete lyrics. If someone would clarify

"The car that's parked on the pavement marked 'Pedestrians and children' in chalk. The games they play, the games, the japes, destroyed by some thoughtless shitehorse"

it would make me a very happy man indeed! Sadly, I can't even remember which song that's from.

[morgs]

Not a band I play much these days, but back throughthe mists of time I saw them live 3 times and played Back in the DHSS and ACD (the 2nd album) to death.  Favourites include 'God Gave Us Life', 'Reasons to be miserable (part 10)' and 'All I want for Christmas is the Dulka Prague Away Kit'.  I have Trouble over Bridgewater and a couple of other more recent albums but don't find them quite as laugh-out-loud funny as I did the early stuff, although there are usually a couple of tracks on each album that I instantly want to learn the lyrics to.  An under-rated band nevertheless!

[The Cheeky Babes]

It's best to try to avoid eating biscuits as they make you put on weight, apparently.

[Nearly Annually]

Fuckin'ell it's Abi Titmuss.

I was waiting for that joke, actually. I laughed so little that I, in fact, inhaled my keyboard!

Yeah, the board crashed out half way through posting that, and I really really hoped I'd missed the boat. I'm sorry. The ubiquitous twat has evidently started to get to me; her lifeless, sexless eyes staring depressingly through me off every shelf of the newagent racks an' that. She really can't smoulder can she. That John BUMBUM's not exactly Michael Hutchence.

Yeah, HMHB came to pass while I was a first year student. How we laughed. (And then, we ate toast.)

[Mildly Diverting]

HMHB are one of the finest things England has given to the world (well, to a fraction of it's own population).

Oddly enough my three favourite albums haven't had a mention yet -

McIntyre, Treadmore & Davitt (for all you Ripping Yarns fans)
This Leaden Pall
Some call it Godcore

My personal favorite individual lyric is, "Mariella Frostrup does loads of voiceovers, but nothing much else, yet she seems to get by."

Nigel Blackwell is a God amongst men (but lets not mention the BP advert, okay?)

[Silver SurferGhost]

Heh, I've not heard any HMHB in years, I must get hold of some of their stuff again.
Cheers for that link by the way...
"You're going on after Crispy Ambulance!"
Genius, spelt properly.

[phantom_power]

Nigel Blackwell is a God amongst men (but lets not mention the BP advert, okay?)

what is this?

[another Mr. Lizard]

Having bought HMHB's first two classic albums in the mid 80s, I'm sorry to say I tuned out for the next few years but have recently come back to the fold - I picked up a cheap copy of 'Saucy Haulage Ballads', have laughed like a drain every time I've played it, and really ought to get some of the 1990s material now.

'Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years' is the track of choice round at Lizard Towers - there's so much to recommend about this song, the line "I've been sharing my innermost thoughts with an Edward McVeigh", the anguished cry of "curse those in charge of plots, curse these forget-me-nots", Nigel's inspired moment of genius where he shouts out "let's complain!" just before the guitar solo. Best of all, would any other band on the planet even attempt to parody Julian Cope's monologue of childhood reminiscences from 'Reynard The Fox' as HMHB do here, ending, naturally, with the line "and then, inevitably, Claire Rayner appeared"? A classic.

[Mildly Diverting]

Nigel Blackwell is a God amongst men (but lets not mention the BP advert, okay?)

what is this?

That is thanks to Mark Cooper, a "creative" at swanky ad agency Ogilvy and Mather. It is he who conceived the concept, and the voice, of the current BP ad. And the voice he chose was not that of Martin Clunes. Nor John Peel, nor Suggs, Jo Whiley, Johnny Vaughan, nor anyone else from the ranks of creatives' faves. The deadpan and slightly morose voice-over on one of the year's slickest and most expensive TV ads is that of Nigel Blackwell, the singer out of Half Man Half Biscuit.

I didn't mean to sound all Hicksish there - I don't suppose HMHB's royalties leave him in the lap of luxury.

[phantom_power]

is this a current advert? i don't think i have seen it

[mwude]

HMHB have got a new album called "Achtung Bono" which I think will be out in September.  But they sold a few advanced copies at a recent Leeds gig & the entire album is now available from the usual places.  And it's fucking ace.  They're playing Liverpool on 13th October so I'll have to dust off my Joy Division Oven Gloves and get a ticket for that.

Great tunes and stuffed full of classic Blackwell lyrics.  "Nero fiddles whilst Gordon Burns", "Is your child hyper-active or is he just a twat?"

And one tune called 'depressed beyond tablets' which I suppose could potentially be a Brass Eye reference?

And the inner sleeve has a few readers letters culled from local press including a couple of lovely letters to the Liverpool Echo praising merseyside for it's "friendly people and such contrasting, beautiful scenery" from a 'Compton Mo'fo, Los Angeles'.  :D

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Album details here:

http://www.hmhb.co.uk

[Catalogue Trousers]

"They came for Dani Behr, I said 'she's over there, behind the wardrobe'..."

There is a definite vein of frequently apparently groundless contempt for a lot of people in HMHB's oeuvre. How can  anyone hate Nerys Hughes?

However, they hit a lot of the right targets and do it with humour what is funny and style that works. And thus they are skill.