glebe went to bed with dogshit on his hands and it’s still there

[Replies From View]

there he is, officer


that one there with the dogshit on his hands.  yes, him.


take him away and never show him to us ever again.

[Glebe]

As you are then.

[Replies From View]

there he goes to prison forever

[pancreas]

Replies, I have some extremely distressing news.

Glebe is banged up for life in prison, but he still has dogshit on his hands. I suspect Ferris is sneaking it into the prison in sandwich bags stuffed up his arse. The prison is now covered in dogshit and the other prisoners are all going to bed with dogshit covered hands.

What do we do?

[Glebe]

Sitting here in chokey trying to get the last of this damn dog crap off me hands. Oh no the warden's dog has gotten in... he's shitting on the floor... here we go again!

20 MORE YEARS HARD LABOUR.

[Replies From View]

It'll be solitary confinement if he's not careful.  He can have as much dogshit on his hands as he likes before going into solitary confinement, but he is guaranteed no access to any fresh dogshit once he is in there.

[Glebe]

I'm up in court again and it's all thanks to that warden's dog!

"M'lud, it is the opinion of this court that the defendant, Mr. Glebe Arbuthnot Braithwaite IV, should be giving the full force of the law!"

"FIVE CONSECTIVE LIFE SENTENCES!"

Oh lummy!

[Glebe]

Hang on that warden's surname is From View. Could he be a relation of Replies? Now the dog incident makes sense!

[Replies From View]

There are no vested interests being spread through these penal system, no


all From Views are no relation, thank you

[Replies From View]

for future ref



From View is such a common surname


they all have it, most of them

[pancreas]

Don't let glebe put you off the scent. I think we need to upgrade him to solitary confinement in a maximum security facility. Then probably waterboarding etc.

[Replies From View]

Ok, doing that now


might take a day and a half to process the upgrade

[wosl]

He's started with the mind games - he was spotted earlier tucking into a plate of gaol grub with hands substantially dogshit free.  Could be the start of a 'clean protest'

[Glebe]

Those hands a' scrubbed. Yes, I said 'a' scrubbed', didn't say the full 'and', it's a regional thing. Y'gonna slag me f'that too?

What's more I have made it my goal to stay as far away from dogs while serving my lifetime sentence. Warden From View's dog has been conspicuously absent over the last few days so I think I should be safe. The only animals in here are the ones who butcher whole families!

[wosl]

Cor Glebe, it's your favourite meal in all the world.  Mmmm



Come on, get stuck in, so we can assess the current state of your donnies

[Glebe]

Cor, that's a delicious slap-up feed somebody's left to cool on the prison windowsill! And plenty of fizzy pop, too! Now for a feast! Sloo!

READERS'S VOICE: Careful, Glebe! Your 'dogged' determination to enjoy that feast may have fucking 'shitty' consequences! Chortle!

[Replies From View]

He's started with the mind games - he was spotted earlier tucking into a plate of gaol grub with hands substantially dogshit free.  Could be the start of a 'clean protest'

I doubt they were his real hands.  He's a trainee master of disguise, and most likely using mannequin hands or some arrangement of special synthetic hand coating to allow him to retain the dogshit beneath.


This is another reason I am fighting for solitary confinement - once there he will be strip searched and forced to exist in a fully naked state, and any dogshit on his hands will only be able to rub up against his own body because there will be no surfaces or objects in there.

[Replies From View]

Cor, that's a delicious slap-up feed somebody's left to cool on the prison windowsill! And plenty of fizzy pop, too! Now for a feast! Sloo!

READERS'S VOICE: Careful, Glebe! Your 'dogged' determination to enjoy that feast may have fucking 'shitty' consequences! Chortle!

No Beano references in solitary confinement either, dogshit hands

[Glebe]

No Beano references in solitary confinement either, dogshit hands

Oh look somebody has also left a cowpie to cool. I hope that cunt Korky the Cat doesn't get it first. Oh no he's shit on me hands!

[Replies From View]

Oh look somebody has also left a cowpie to cool. I hope that cunt Korky the Cat doesn't get it first. Oh no he's shit on me hands!

shat, you imbecile

[wosl]

No Beano references in solitary confinement either, dogshit hands

They were provided courtesy of The Beezer, your eminence

[Replies From View]

Still DC Thomson, right?  Interchangeable content.

[Glebe]

Who remembers Whizzer and Dog Shits?

[wosl]

Still DC Thomson, right?  Interchangeable content.

[Chollis]

Hi guys just wanted to get some feedback on how this thread is going, could I get a quick show of hands?

[Glebe]

Hi guys just wanted to get some feedback on how this thread is going, could I get a quick show of hands?

[pancreas]

HALF PRICE SALE ON ALL DOG SHITS!

You've got some on your hands.

Not again, Glebe.

[Glebe]

Look it was 'HALF PRICE!' alright? Don't be so judgemental!

[pancreas]

Can I see your hands, please, Glebe?

[Glebe]

No.