tile warehouse has to share premises with dogshit warehouse

[Goldentony]

nice lads, work hard, just that they collect dogshit and get pissed all day, argue with each other, smoking

[Goldentony]

overwhelming smell of fuck off big mountains of fresh dogshit in the air everywhere

[shoulders]

Strange messages saying 'fuck the tile' start appearing everywhere.

Tension palpable in the warehouse.

[Glebe]

Carphone Warehouse next!

[Goldentony]

nah next is cardogshit housephone

[Fambo Number Mive]

Tiles being taken, suspected they are in amongst the dog turds.

[Goldentony]

dyou have any tiles without big loads of dogshit on

you wh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you lot! you fucking twats! you fucking fucking fucking terwats!!

[pancreas]

'Look,' says the manager of Tile Gaff. 'Lads, this Chinese wall we've got going on with those guys is going to have to become a real one. Customers not keen on the smell and I know you've coming back from getting pissed with those cunts and getting dogshit over all the tiles. Look at this: says "forest floor green" on it, not "derelict playground brown". It has to stop.'

[Glebe]

nah next is cardogshit housephone

They keep changing their names I can't keep up!

[Replies From View]

fine but the chinese wall will need to be made of dogshit as the tiles are getting a bit sparse

[pancreas]

fine but the chinese wall will need to be made of dogshit as the tiles are getting a bit sparse

Sorry, who are you in all this? We're trying to run a business here.

[Replies From View]

Sorry, who are you in all this? We're trying to run a business here.

I wield the inventory and offer advice based on the quantity of items retained within this shared warehouse.

[Replies From View]

Oh look:  Fambo Number Mive has put together a funny little dogshit "sandwich", with two tiles as the "bread" - haha!!


Those tiles won't separate now btw and are as good as permanently wasted.

[Glebe]

These seem like pretty shitty premises - I mean literally, ahaahaahaahaaha!!!!

[shoulders]

"Hey, I'm trying to run a tile merchants here, keep the dog shit smell down"

"Hey, FUCK YOU CUNT! You knew what you were getting from this arrangement."

[Replies From View]

There is nothing in any legal documentation stating that a dogshit smell is somehow antisocial

absolutely nothing whatsoever.


so shut up

[shoulders]

Look, can you just keep the smell from an entire war crime of dogshit down while I try and shift these knock off ceramics

Cheers and thank you kindly

[Jittlebags]

Dog-dirt Direct

[Replies From View]

I have been asked by the dogshit guys for you "burnt clay wankers" to pipe down while they aggregate all their substantial volumes of dogshit 

[pancreas]

I wield the inventory and offer advice based on the quantity of items retained within this shared warehouse.

Are you qualified please? Do you have any identification? It's just I've never seen you here before and the advice you are offering seems rather capricious.

[Replies From View]

Are you qualified please? Do you have any identification? It's just I've never seen you here before and the advice you are offering seems rather capricious.

Hi so no, I am not qualified, but I have been given this job as per the authorities doing their own jobs and so on.

Here is my identification:  *holding it at you*

[Huxleys Babkins]

Took the wife down earlier as we're redoing the bathroom. Hard to tell what's dogshit and what's tiles now. Kind of them to provide a bucket to vomit into once the stench gets too much, but as I said to the chap, no, they don't give you a bucket at Tile Giant, but their premises aren't stacked to the ceiling with dogshit, so we had no cause to need one. He looked so sad in between retching.

[Replies From View]

A few folk from the dogshit side of the warehouse have begun hiding flat squares of hair-drier crisped dogshit amongst the tiles, just so you know.  Be careful what you post to customers, tile side of the warehouse.

[pancreas]

Hi so no, I am not qualified, but I have been given this job as per the authorities doing their own jobs and so on.

Here is my identification:  *holding it at you*

Here is you mate:

* mimes holding fake identification at me *

Get a grip

[Fambo Number Mive]

Oh look:  Fambo Number Mive has put together a funny little dogshit "sandwich", with two tiles as the "bread" - haha!!


Those tiles won't separate now btw and are as good as permanently wasted.

Worth it though. Got a few chuckles from browsing customers.

[Replies From View]

Here is you mate:

* mimes holding fake identification at me *

Get a grip

Do that mime again.  It looks like you're holding up the real identification towards yourself, which isn't what I did.

[shoulders]

Hard to tell what's dogshit and what's tiles

Would ordinarily be spooked by this information but this has always been a genetic defect of yours.

[cptspalding]

Pterodactyls going in and out of there all hours of the day.

[pancreas]

Do that mime again.  It looks like you're holding up the real identification towards yourself, which isn't what I did.

* mimes holding fake identification at me *

[Replies From View]

I didn't bend my arm towards my own face though.  You're not doing it very well