Dark Souls Remastered

[Old Nehamkin]

I'm a big fan of the voice acting. Something uniformly uncanny about the delivery and the text, as if it's been translated through some unknown intermediary language.

The idea of Dark Souls being a dated throwback is pretty baffling to me, to be honest. Six years later it still feels like a lot of other RPGs and action games are trying to catch up with it in terms of level design and mechanical depth. For me the whole thing just has an elegance and strength of identity that I've very, very rarely encountered in other games. I also don't think I've played another single player game that integrates online play in such a fluid, varied, comprehensive fashion. I'd certainly say it was ahead of its time in that regard.

Well done on killing the gargoyles, anyway. That took me fucking ages.

[The Boston Crab]

That Onion Knight quest is heartbreaking, you'll just probably never see what happens. He seems to be there to provide a bit of levity and comic relief but the game knows what it's doing and how you feel about him already. You're exactly where the game wants you to be, from your impression. Again, you can't possibly know or understand what's going on at the moment besides a few fights.

[falafel]

Increasingly fucked off that this isn't on Switch yet.

[The Boston Crab]

I reckon it'll be their big August game. Toad and Octopath in July. Smash will launch with the online in September. It says Summer 2018. October isn't summer.

Aye siwmae, it'll be August.

[biggytitbo]

That Onion Knight quest is heartbreaking...

Onions do make me cry.

[The Boston Crab]

Redeemed yourself double.

[biggytitbo]

Do you need to kill the big lad next door to the blacksmith as I'm wasting lots of time on him when I can just run past.

[The Boston Crab]

Not at all, no. You can come back later and do him for some special upgrade material but just leg it is fine. You can do that for pretty much anything, by the way.

Also, if you end up hitting a wall of difficulty or literally in that direction, come back and ask for some advice.

I hope you're upgrading your weapon at the blacksmith, too. Much more significant than levelling up until late game.

[biggytitbo]

HOW DO I GET PAST THE SHITTY GAPE DRAGON.

[The Boston Crab]

You're doing well. Good stuff. Depths does not fuck about as an area. Well done on getting past the Capra Demon (with the dogs). A lot of people hit a wall there. Gapes is doable. Some tips:

- He's weak to lightning.

- There's an NPC you can summon for the fight nearby, when you're out overlooking the boss area, he's round some corner somewhere near a flight of steps. You need to be in human form to summon, I don't know if you've done any of that so far. It'll boost the boss's HP but will distract him, too. On balance, it tends to help.

- Did you kill that guy who's shooting magic at you from the balcony? He doesn't reappear once you kill him, which helps.

- If you're playing on PS4, as I say, I will happily jump on and help you with any boss or area, without doing it for you and ruining the satisfaction.

- Stay to the back or sides and watch out for the tail swipe. Always give yourself loads of space to run away from his little march and the spew. It's a tough boss, no doubt. If you can do Capra, you can take this bitch.

[brat-sampson]

Also, you can hack off his tail if you wale on it enough, which stops him doing that BS swipe.

[biggytitbo]

Not only am I not human, I'm cursed so half HP. He just kills me instantly first touch.

[The Boston Crab]

Or, cutely enough, he still tries to do it but he just waggles the stump.

[ziggy starbucks]

you can buy some moss or something from the mad moss woman behind the bars in the tunnel to uncurse yourself. Costs 4000 souls I think. Stay away from the frogs.

with the big vagina monster you're fighting, I crossbowed the fucker to death. Takes a while but it works

[The Boston Crab]

Not only am I not human, I'm cursed so half HP. He just kills me instantly first touch.

Haha, I didn't dare mention. Bad luck, fella. If you head back up the Depths and out, near where you fought Capra, do you remember that merchant in the tunnel back to Firelink, behind the bars? She sells Purging Stones which will reverse the curse. It's truly awful, I know, but we've all been there. Presumably you've unlocked the door down the stairs from the bonfire so it's a fast run back to Gapes once you've reversed the curse.

To become human, use a humanity and reverse hollowing at a bonfire. You can then summon other players to help you, and any available NPC summons. It's a big part of the game and really fun. You can also get a load of souls and humanity from helping other people with bosses, etc. Which is a great way to learn a new boss, too.

Knowing you, you probably fucking killed Solaire before he gave you the White Soapstone, though.

[colacentral]

I'm greatly enjoying Biggy being handheld through this; it's like an episode of Knightmare.

[Kelvin]

Yeah, Biggy's Quest is good stuff. A cantankerous old man being helped across the road by snotty kids. 

[biggytitbo]

Knowing you, you probably fucking killed Solaire before he gave you the White Soapstone, though.

None of that means anything to me at all, but I did get that git in the tower to uncurse me so that's sorted out now. So to become human you just use a humanity at the bonfire? I thought I tried that and it said I didn't have enough even though I have loads of the bloody things. I don't even know how to use magic either, I have no idea what I'm doing and it's just raw skill getting me through at the moment.

[brat-sampson]

First you use 1 humanity to kindle a bonfire of your choosing, means it restocks you at 10 Estus and you can become human at it.

So overall go to bonfire you think you'll be hanging out at, spend a Humanity to kindle it, then another to become human if you want to be able to use the summoning business.

[The Boston Crab]

When you use a humanity, the number in the top left will increase. You also sometimes gain humanity from working through the area before you kill the boss.

When you have at least one, you can reverse hollowing at the bonfire. The number will turn white and your appearance will change to human, rather than a Peperami. You can also use humanity to kindle a bonfire so it'll give you ten Estus refills instead of five.

As for Solaire, remember that guy early on next to the dragon Bridge, the guy staring at the sun? One of the greatest characters in all games ever? If you talk to him he'll give you an item you can use to be summoned into others' games to help them. Likewise, when you're human you'll see loads of summon signs near the bonfires and in front of the boss fog gates.

You can also be invaded when you're in human form so there's a risk reward element to it. Can't wait for you to get invaded.

When you die in human form, you go hollow and would need to pump another humanity and reverse at the bonfire again. Or, get summoned and help the host beat a boss. That will also make you human again.

[The Boston Crab]

First you use 1 humanity to kindle a bonfire of your choosing, means it restocks you at 10 Estus and you can become human at it.

So overall go to bonfire you think you'll be hanging out at, spend a Humanity to kindle it, then another to become human if you want to be able to use the summoning business.

You don't need to kindle first to become human, in case that's how this reads.

[brat-sampson]

You don't need to kindle first to become human, in case that's how this reads.

Oh yeah, fuck, sorry, it's the other way around. Detroit: Become Human, then kindle.

[biggytitbo]

I reckon you're all just making it up now, it all sounds like nonsense.

[biggytitbo]

Apparently you don't even have to kill the gaping cunt so I've given up on him and am taking the shortcut to Valley of Drakes via Darkroot basin. Wise move?

[The Boston Crab]

Did you start with the Master Key?

If you're struggling with him and you can find your way down to Blighttown, sack it. You can always come back later and mash him when you're a bit harder.

You'll probably get battered at Drakes but if you just leg it, you might be OK and get through. The whole first half of the game is ripe for sequence breaking, that's why it's so replayable. You can do suicide runs to get various early gear and meet NPCs and access areas you shouldn't really be ready for if you know what you're doing. You could be extremely overpowered within an hour which would see you coast through the early game.

Good game like

[falafel]

gaping cunt

My nickname for it was Vagina Cuntata.

[FredNurke]

What a wonderful phrase.

[biggytitbo]

I've spent a bit of time trying to level up a bit, now I've got to blight town what's the best way to wrap this nightmare up as quickly as possible from here?

[The Boston Crab]

You mean the area or the whole game?

You're probably a quarter of the way through and you've got (or rather, we've got) some absolute glory days ahead.

As for Blighttown, just take it nice and slow. Are you coming through the Depths or the back door?

[bgmnts]

Hard not to take Blighttown nice and slow when the framerate shits itself to death.