Ill Oddie

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I once took calls for a TV channel and a caller called to complain that during a programme Bill Oddie got his knob out and wiped it on the camera.

I'm deadly serious.

I remember that Goodies episode - but I thought it was Tim who did that.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

It is most easily identified by its large bill.

He charges for it? Not many takers I'd imagine.

[The Dog]

He charges for it? Not many takers I'd imagine.

You aren't imagining enough IMAGINE HARDER.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Ooh yes, it's quite tumescent! Might be worth a few quid. (Needs a rinse though).

[Twonty Gostelow]

Good news. He posted on Twitter yesterday that he had suddenly improved for no apparent reason.

For nearly a year I have been nigh on comatose. Knocking on heavens door with Lithium Poisoning. Saved by consultant at Royal Free Hospital. Then months mostly avoiding life and people. Depressed or asleep. Scaring my family and myself. No joy and no hope.
Then 10 days ago everything changed . Energy returned. No longer intimidated by tech, politics ,or the world as it is. Loving the Euros, thrilled by "Lady Parts" on Ch4, revelling in my garden, friends, family and Sandy the dog. How?! Why? Meds, magic , or miracle?

https://twitter.com/BillOddie?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Just occurred to me that his sudden 'inexplicable' recovery came just a few days after Freddy Marks from Rod, Jane & Freddy died. Coincidence?
Freddy famously saved Bill from drowning years ago, and made him look a bit silly in this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igYcBhT2N40

I can definitely see Freddy ringing him up every week since then to remind Bill he's only alive because of him, say thank you again. I'm not saying it happened, but it definitely did. Would certainly get you down after a while.

[kalowski]

It is most easily identified by its large bill.

And it's distinctive jizz.

(This is a brilliant birder/sex pun)

[mobias]

As I've reported on here before, my sister in law used to work in Oban studying the marine mammal life there, and one year she consulted for Springwatch.  Kate Humble was a right horrible sort apparently, which I know upset quite a few CaBbers at the time.

An old school friend of mine studied marine zoology and worked for a while at the sea mammal research place up in Cromarty. Many years ago when he was doing those vets shows Rolf Harris came up with a film crew to spend a weekend there filming. They all loved Rolf. My mate said he was absolutely charming and took them all out for drinks. So there you go, he might be a nonce but at least he gets the drinks in. Unlike Kate bloody Humble I'm sure.

[kalowski]

Sometimes Kate Humble, she looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about Kate Humble, she's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until she bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh...

[the science eel]

Any updates? I can't be arsed to try and find it now but I saw a recent tweet where he said he wasn't doing so well. It made me sad. I hope he's coping somehow.

[Kankurette]

Just to remind everyone how high the bar is, Johnny Morris once told Buelligan to fuck off.

Apparently he was a total cunt to children. As was Roy Castle.

[wrec]

Any updates? I can't be arsed to try and find it now but I saw a recent tweet where he said he wasn't doing so well. It made me sad. I hope he's coping somehow.

In case you're wondering. Or if you're not. The past few years have been a bit grim. For me, I mean. Illnesses, Couldn't work. Not wanted anyway!? Tech blind.Lost enthusiasm."But I am still here." Turning into Ethel Merman?  Still, so many people are a lot worse.

https://twitter.com/BillOddie/status/1531347706500767744

[Flatulent Fox]

Lovely thread title.

I saw him once in Hampstead. Would have liked to have told him how much I loved 'Bill Oddie's Little Black Bird Book' as a kid, but I've heard he can be a bit 'spiky' so I didn't.

I got one of those for my brother.He hates it but I keep hiding it under his pillow when I get the chance.Drives him mad.Lovely illustrations in it.

[Flatulent Fox]

I got one of those for my brother.He hates it but I keep hiding it under his pillow when I get the chance.Drives him mad.Lovely illustrations in it.

He got me A ronnie Corbert book about golf.Pretty dire reading.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

In case you're wondering. Or if you're not. The past few years have been a bit grim. For me, I mean. Illnesses, Couldn't work. Not wanted anyway!? Tech blind.Lost enthusiasm."But I am still here." Turning into Ethel Merman?  Still, so many people are a lot worse.

Never mind his mental health, this man needs professional help with his punctuation.