Genius of Bread

[Lemming]

From January 16th, 1917. How is it that nobody has built on her theories in the last 107 years?

I'm trying to visualise what Mrs X envisioned but I can only sort of get vague glimpses of it, which fade into darkness as my mind outright refuses to confront a discovery of such magnitude. Seems like one way to make this happen would be to have some form of heated metal rod which the dough is then wrapped around, causing the inside to become more cooked than the outside, but that's fraught (inside burned to a crisp, outside all doughy).

Anyone got any ideas on how to build on Mrs X's pioneering work?

[touchingcloth]

Can they selectively breed one of those chickens that lays long cylinders of egg for gala pies? Or two chickens assuming you need more than one to breed. Maybe make a chicken fuck a wheat?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Tina Weymouth's first drafts

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Maybe if you put a layer of exothermic material (nuclear or C4 possibly) just under the top layer of dough before you baked it, then you'd have to find some way of starting the reaction during the process. There would also have to be some layer of deflecting material directly under the exothermic one in order to concentrate the blast outwards instead of inwards.

[Inspector Norse]

Bake bread
Put more dough around it
Bake again
Cut off outer crust

You'd want the outer layer to be something that bakes quickly to stop the middle getting burnt, but shouldn't be too complicated.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I'm surprised she has the time to make bread while also roaming the corridors of the Raccoon City Police Station.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

She's dead now isn't she, Mrs X. They're all dead. So sad. All those hopes, all those dreams of innovative bread.

[Shaxberd]

Bake a large, flat loaf. Cut it in half across its width, resulting in two even flatter pieces with the soft parts exposed. Roll up each piece like a Swiss roll, soft bit facing outwards.

If you want all the crust inside you could just do it as a tube and then put something in the middle. Maybe cheese and pickle, you could sell it from a van as an 'English burrito'.

[Norton Canes]

Luckily her son would go on to create a race of superhero mutants

[Dex Sawash]

#whitepeopleproblems

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

#whitebreadproblems

[The Culture Bunker]

David Gates leaves thread frustrated at his talent once again being unrecognised.

[Lemming]

Tina Weymouth's first drafts

What you gonna do when you get outta jail?
I'm gonna bake some bread
What do you consider bread?
Bread, inverse bread

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I'm going to have a go at baking a bagel with the hole on the outside.

[Cuellar]

Mrs X dreams of the possibilities of bread:

[dontpaintyourteeth]

She's dead now isn't she, Mrs X. They're all dead. So sad. All those hopes, all those dreams of innovative bread.

breaks your heart don't it

[Solid Jim]

The crazy thing is that sliced bread hadn't been invented yet. So at that point, everyone was still trying to cram the entire loaf into their mouth. The point being, it seems to us like the more obvious innovation but that's the benefit of a century's hindsight.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

bake it in an upside down bunt cake tin

[imitationleather]

The best thing since inside out bread

[Video Game Fan 2000]

her husband sat there with the boys at the coal face, with his inside out U shaped sarnies

dying of shame

[Video Game Fan 2000]

sitting down to dinner "what the fucks this, love?"

"i know how much you like yorkshire pudding with your boiled beef and cabbage, so i invented boiled yorkshire pudding and cabbage"

joachim phoenix in Andy Capp: Origins

[NoSleep]

David Gates leaves thread frustrated at his talent once again being unrecognised.

There's breadmaking machines nowadays.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Jean Boht receives Nobel Prize

[Vodkafone]

Carla Lane's hopes dashed.


And rightly so.

[Terence Bowl]

Could be she right into her soup and dreamed of having a loaf that was all outsiders.


 

[Oosp]

1. Mix the ingredients in a bowl
2. Invert the entire universe
3. ?????
4. PROFIT

[thenoise]

Why not just turn the loaf tin inside out?

Might have to turn the oven inside out too, not sure. Or would they cancel each other out? More research required.

[Senior Baiano]

Tom Tom Club and Peter Kropotkin both consider rewrite

Edit- damn two people already got there with TTC. Never mind, "It don't matter to me" lol

[dissolute ocelot]

If you get a really big naan bread that coats the entire inside of your tandoor and cook it too long, presumably that's your answer.

Any explanation what this is for? Only benefit I can think of is to stop the rest of the bread getting wet in your sandwich. Or was she planning to dunk it in a gigantic pot of soup and pick the soft soupy bits off the outside?