"Slim Fit" or "Clothes for kids" or "Your clothing woes"

[Lee Van Cleef]

You'll have to forgive this rant.  I'm rather pissed off at this moment.

I tend to buy my clothing from Next and Topman. Now, I'm a fairly unfashionable chap and usually very picky about what I'll wear, so it takes me a good couple of hours before I decide on anything to purchase.  On trips to both of these stores over the last year I've noticed that there is a proliferation of clothing with the label "slim fit," this particularly relates to t-shirts, shirts and knitted garments.  On my last trip into Next It seemed that about 80% of these items were "slim fit" and the "regular fit" was generally the crappy old man clothing that looks like it's worn by men in their mid-life crises.  So why not get the "slim fit" gubbins you don't ask?  Well mainly because I'm not a 10 year old girl.  If find it really bizarre to put a shirt on in the changing rooms and see how oversized it is for my stomach/waist, but make me feel like the incredible hulk because my shoulders and chest are about to burst through the seams in tandem with my rage escaping in a blood-curdling shout of "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Why rant now?  Because I (perhaps ill-advisedly) ordered a shirt from play.com.  Being unsure of whether it was slim fit (as all clothes seem to be these days) I though I'd do the smart thing and order a size up, so I plumped for XXL.  It arrived this morning and when I took it out of the packet it looked perfect, so I slipped it on to see how it would look, excited with the prospect of a rather nifty looking garment that may actually fit me.   "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I cried as it felt like any movement of my arms would cause the shirt to burst in dramatic fashion.

Now I don't know if my chest/shoulders are inordinately large (I do lift weights) but I'm not built to the extent that I could be considered "muscular." I just don't understand why shops can't provide, y'know... REGULAR FIT items.  It seem they are catering to that niche market of men that thinks having a haircut like this:



is cool.  We all know these people are fuckwits.   I saw three young men walking through Norwich, all with matching haircuts just like that; twatting along in skin-tight jeans and shirts looking like the 80's rejected them because they were too fey, it reminded me that they are the perpetual arses that continue this anorexic squirrel shirt fashion.

So now my rant is over, tell me of your woes so that I may feel better about being some kind of bulbous freak.

[koeman]

I made a very rare excursion to a clothes shop before my recent holiday, and I too noticed that everything now seems to be slim fit. Rather than taking it as a sign to do something about my rapidly expanding waistline, I instead stormed out in a fit of portly disgust.

[purlieu]

I might roll out my 'I wear skinny jeans and slim fit clothes and am not some pretentious moron, neither are any of my friends who wear similar clothes, stop being such a judgemental twat' argument again sometime soon.

More direct, and possibly more useful answer: H&M should be good for regular fit clothes, try there?

[Johnny Townmouse]

I made the dreadful mistake of going to Top Man on Oxford St a couple of weeks ago. Absolutely dreadful knocked off rubbish, badly made and most importantly, the sizes do not make sense. I'm hardly slim so I appreciate that I don't fit into a medium anymore, but it was the first time in my life that I have ever seen the buttons straining on an XL. Also, the fucking changing rooms don't help - tiny and with ridiculously bright lights. I never do anything under bright lights, ever.

Feeling dismayed I went to Gap where I got four t-shirts and a long-sleeved top - all sized Large!

God bless America!

[Lee Van Cleef]

I might roll out my 'I wear skinny jeans and slim fit clothes and am not some pretentious moron, neither are any of my friends who wear similar clothes, stop being such a judgemental twat' argument again sometime soon.

I didn't call them pretentious morons, I called them fey, 80's rejects, arses and fuckwits.  At least 50% of that is accurate.

[Zero Gravitas]

It's disappointing that most retailers understate the size of their clothes to make their patrons feel slimmer but your reaction to discovering this is a little extreme.

[Lee Van Cleef]

It's disappointing that most retailers understate the size of their clothes to make their patrons feel slimmer but your reaction to discovering this is a little extreme.

I think it's okay to get inordinately pissed off at life's little sanity draining moments every now and then.  Charlie Brooker makes a career out of it.  I suppose I'll have to put on hold my thread about the perils of finding facial cleanser that doesn't irritate dry skin.

I'd do something about it if I was overweight and I'd understand if I was a hulking muscle-bound juicer (though probably not because the 'roid rage would result in more significantly adverse behaviour).  I'm neither, I'm an average kinda guy.  Though apparently not, one can only assume the average guy is now actually a girl.

[Wiggy]

I made a very rare excursion to a clothes shop before my recent holiday, and I too noticed that everything now seems to be slim fit. Rather than taking it as a sign to do something about my rapidly expanding waistline, I instead stormed out in a fit of portly disgust.

I also had to doa pre-holidaty clothes shop this week and was shocked to find that short sleeved shirts in Topman and River Island seemed to cost about £30!!!! And yes, these were all slim-fit which presumably use less material and are quicker to make than normal size shirts, and yet thirty pounds!!!

The selection is H&M was better and under £15 but the ones I tried on were too long. I spent 2 hours in Westfield and left with nothing.

(Also all the jeans left in the Next sale were really shit. No I don't want cuffed hems, dropped crotch or carrot tops. I don't want twisted seams or a chinese dragon embroidered on my left thigh and I don't want to pay for rippped faded denim).

[Lee Van Cleef]

More direct, and possibly more useful answer: H&M should be good for regular fit clothes, try there?

I'll see if I can find a local one.

[Lee Van Cleef]

(Also all the jeans left in the Next sale were really shit. No I don't want cuffed hems, dropped crotch or carrot tops. I don't want twisted seams or a chinese dragon embroidered on my left thigh and I don't want to pay for rippped faded denim).

Well said!

[SetToStun]

Seconded, although I have no idea what "carrot tops" are in relation to jeans. Anyone care to enlighten me?

[CaledonianGonzo]

More direct, and possibly more useful answer: H&M should be good for regular fit clothes, try there?

Lordy - I'm trim enough to fit a Next 'Slim Fit' shirt, but even I struggle to squeeze myself into anything made by H&M.  Clothes fit only for Scandinavian ectomorphs who regard skinny jeans as 'a bit on the baggy side'.

As Johnny T has intimated, GAP is the answer for realistically-sized clothes (sadly, not for 'nicely-designed' ones, though).

[Lee Van Cleef]

As Johnny T has intimated, GAP is the answer for realistically-sized clothes (sadly, not for 'nicely-designed' ones, though).

I picked up a couple of Gap shirts a year or so ago from an outlet store just off the M1 by Sutton-in-Ashfield. Yeah, they're rather bland... shame really cause they do fit.

[CaledonianGonzo]

One day I might not mind looking 'preppy' - but it ain't today!

Until then, I remain Man at Next (and occasionally TK Maxx!)

[Lee Van Cleef]

One day I might not mind looking 'preppy' - but it ain't today!

Until then, I remain Man at Next (and occasionally TK Maxx!)

I went to TK Maxx the other day and found one T-shirt that would fit and wasn't totally offensive.  To me that's quite a major score these days.  Next... I still buy the jeans from there, but only the regular ones, none of this flash nonsense.

[Johnny Townmouse]

I was always a big fan of Men at Monsoon until they stopped doing clothes for the section of the population that only buy clothes twice a year, and wear them until they fall apart. Beyond that, Muji clothes can sometimes be alright, and John Rocha in Debenhams is ok when it doesn't have 'JR' written all over it like some almost 80s t-shirt.

Yes, I know I am talking about rather bland and overpriced high-street clothes for men who get out of breath walking down escalators, but if you hate clothes shopping as much as I do, anything helps. I am pretty much like Brundle - if I find something that fits me well and I like it, I will buy three of the same thing (often on ebay). I have six pairs of the same M&S cords (three black, three brown) which I am sure make my colleagues assume I do not wash my clothes.

[mobias]

Seems I'm one of the few here that actually really likes clothes and clothes shopping. If you've got the right clothes on and they look good on you then you do feel good about yourself and a bit more positive about life in general I find, they give you confidence.

However having said all that it can be a total nightmare shopping for clothes, especially if you're on a tight budget like most of us are these days. There are two things I hate about guys clothes that are available from the likes of Next and Topman. Firstly a lot of them are aimed at guys in their late teens or early twenties or older guys that wished they were still in their late teens or early twenties. Its all so generic and in your face by the numbers fashion. I hate all the t shirts you get, especially in Topman, that have 'clever' or 'witty' or 'ironic' slogans on the front or back. There's looking cool and then there's looking Loaded or FHM 'cool'

If you want to look cool in a genuinely cool and reasonably sophisticated kind of way you really have to look beyond the high street stores. Unfortunately in doing that you inevitably get away from high street cheap and cheerful prices. However that's where Ebay becomes your best friend. I pretty much do all my clothes buying through Ebay now. Just last week I went into Solo menswear here in Edinburgh and fell in love with a pair of Cibo and Baxx designer jeans at £175. I don't have that sort of money to spend on jeans so its straight home to Ebay and do a search under Cibo and Baxx jeans and lo and behold the same pair are selling out of Hong Kong for £50 including postage. I have them on as we speak and they're a perfect fit and look cool as fuck. They may well be fake but you'd never know it.

Repeat that exercise for any item of clothing, chances are you will either find the exact item of clothing you are looking for brand new or second hand if you don't chances are you'll find something similar or perhaps even better.

[Subtle Mocking]

I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't suit T-shirts. They make me look malnourished even when they fit right, so I have to stick to long/roll sleeve shirts. Short sleeved shirts make my arms look like twigs.
Anyway, I agree about Topman fitting rooms, the only fitting rooms that make you feel like you're being interrogated.

[Lee Van Cleef]

I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't suit T-shirts. They make me look malnourished even when they fit right, so I have to stick to long/roll sleeve shirts. Short sleeved shirts make my arms look like twigs.
Anyway, I agree about Topman fitting rooms, the only fitting rooms that make you feel like you're being interrogated.

The TK Maxx ones aren't that great.  The doors are truly trifling little affairs.  I was standing there trying to change my t-shirt whilst not showing off the naked top-half of my torso to the female member of staff stood outside.

[petula dusty]

Seconded, although I have no idea what "carrot tops" are in relation to jeans. Anyone care to enlighten me?

Tapered jeans looser round the hips and thigh. Or you could try a fruit inspired trend instead

Banana jeans are the hottest new cut in men's jeans; with slim hips, tapered ankles and cut wider around the knee. Whether they're distressed or light wash, banana fit jeans are a style revolution.

If they're too trendy you could always try the more traditional sausage jeans



Straight up and down with a stylish 'inflated' effect. Up to a 50" waist! Two pairs for £20.

[23 Daves]

Top Man on Oxford Street used to be really good, actually - large enough that they stocked enough of a variety of clothing that you'd always be bound to see something you wanted.  In recent months, however, they seem to have got new stock in that looks like early nineties grunge-wear and a shitload of Bryan Adams denim cast-offs.  It was like some depressing trip back in time wandering around there.

Otherwise - I quite like clothes shopping, me.  I never have the money to do it these days, though.

My wife always used to ask me why I went in "Top Man" as somebody who is old enough to be considering other options, and the truth is that their clothes fit me really well.  An acquaintance of mine who is a Saville Row tailor even advised me that it was probably the best place to shop for things off-the-peg given my build.  So, er... tough, basically. 

[purlieu]

I didn't call them pretentious morons, I called them fey, 80's rejects, arses and fuckwits.  At least 50% of that is accurate.

Potentially 25% of that is accurate, the rest is ignorant judging of people because of their fashion choices.

Lordy - I'm trim enough to fit a Next 'Slim Fit' shirt, but even I struggle to squeeze myself into anything made by H&M.  Clothes fit only for Scandinavian ectomorphs who regard skinny jeans as 'a bit on the baggy side'.

Surely not?  I don't think H&M even sell men's skinny jeans.  I stopped shopping there because, being on the skinny side, everything seemed to engulf me in a tent-like manner whenever I put it on.

[Guy]

sausage jeans

Just about managing to keep the hernia in place there.

[Johnny Townmouse]

Top Man on Oxford Street used to be really good, actually - large enough that they stocked enough of a variety of clothing that you'd always be bound to see something you wanted.  In recent months, however, they seem to have got new stock in that looks like early nineties grunge-wear and a shitload of Bryan Adams denim cast-offs.  It was like some depressing trip back in time wandering around there.

Apart from the pathetic All Saints rip-off thin white cotton shirts with skulls on, and the tedious amusing t-shirts, I found the masses of what look cheap Albion Market plaid shirts of the type that grungers in the early 90s would wear because they couldn't proper ones, to be the most depressing part of my trip there.

And the music. The fucking music....

[mobias]

Apart from the pathetic All Saints rip-off ..

Don't ever buy anything from All Saints. I've twice treated myself to two really cool looking tops from there both of which basically started dissolving as soon as they hit fresh air. Over priced and very badly made.

[Ginyard]

Now I don't know if my chest/shoulders are inordinately large (I do lift weights) but I'm not built to the extent that I could be considered "muscular." I just don't understand why shops can't provide, y'know... REGULAR FIT items. 

I hear you. I've got quite a broad upper torso but otherwise am neither skinny nor big, tall nor small; just as average as can be. Medium is usually ok, but tends to be tight on the shoulders, whereas large just hangs a bit too loose round my abdomen. Problem is one manufacturer's definition differs vastly from another.

All this said, I spend a sum total of about 20 mins a year buying clothes so I'm not raging. I look like a slob whatever I stick on.

What astonishes me is the cost of kids clothes. On those occasions when a kind friend hasn't passed on a dress or two, we've gone out and bought stuff and the cost for the size of these weeny items is unbelievable. They last about 6 months in these things until its on to the next size up.

[Johnny Townmouse]

Don't ever buy anything from All Saints. I've twice treated myself to two really cool looking tops from there both of which basically started dissolving as soon as they hit fresh air. Over priced and very badly made.

That is not advice that I need. I bought two All Saints items on ebay for my wife, for very specific reasons (a specific motif they are using, rather than the label itself). Obviously very thin, very badly made, and will last for about five or six washes. I also noticed that they do faux band shirts - album covers that don't exist on shirts for people who want to look cool without any of the financial or mental investment. On the one hand I rather admire the mind-boggling post-modernism of it all, and on the other it makes me want to confront the wearers in the street. I suppose they are sick of being asked to name Blondie, ACDC amd Ramones albums.

[rudi]

Being an actual man, I only shop at Gieves & Hawkes so have absolutely no idea what you're all whining about.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

My clothes are all baggy. Because I am cool.

[Serge]

I shop at Matalan because I like to imagine it was started by a gay couple called Mat and Alan. And they are my gay icons.