Support CaB

Subscribers don't see this.

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

July 07, 2022, 08:32:46 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Top most hideous objects of decoration (LIST THREAD)

Started by pancreas, May 21, 2022, 01:06:17 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

kalowski


audiocreator

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on May 21, 2022, 02:24:56 PMAmple opportunity to post a couple of pics of my cactus that just bloomed.  It's incredible, the flowers only last 24hrs and it is a rare thing for them to bloom out of their natural habitat.

Look at it.




Oh yeah, thats the good sh*t.

I have an aloe vera barbadensis starting to flower, so screw bob flowerdew, who said they dont flower in the uk.

Sebastian Cobb

What large to medium size plant would cab recommend for a negligent idiot? I wouldn't mind one that can sit in a corner by my French window, north facing if that makes a difference. Doesn't need to flower.

Dex Sawash


Brundle-Fly


Fr.Bigley

We need to bring back those fly curtain things everyone's nan had that went clickety clack when passing through, tasteful and practical and I would often re-enact this scene....


Brundle-Fly


Sebastian Cobb

One road I lived on had a house with a bay window that had a HUGE picture of their baby grandchild on the back opposite wall, we're talking 70-inch plus. It was creepy and overbearing as fuck passing it from outside if they hadn't closed their curtains, your eyes were drawn to it from some latent animal instinct spotting a pair of eyes.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 22, 2022, 08:23:50 PMFramed prints of classic paintings.



I've thought about getting an Edward Hopper canvas, is this gauche?

Fr.Bigley


Sebastian Cobb


kalowski

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 22, 2022, 08:22:23 PMWe need to bring back those fly curtain things everyone's nan had that went clickety clack when passing through, tasteful and practical and I would often re-enact this scene....


Yes, they had a genuine use: could allow you to get air into the house on a hot day but keep the flies out.


Sebastian Cobb

You don't see those thin ribbon screens hiding the doorways of restaurant and takeaway kitchens these days do you? Days are gone.

Fr.Bigley


poo


shoulders

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 22, 2022, 09:07:28 PMYou don't see those thin ribbon screens hiding the doorways of restaurant and takeaway kitchens these days do you? Days are gone.

Occasionally you get these at the entrance of toilets in Southern Europe, conjuring unwanted images of the hundreds of people whose pissy and/or poo particle ridden hands have pushed through the beads.

One time in Trieste I saw a woman in real time appreciating that and her face turning to a picture of horror and dismay.

Trapped in the purgatory of piss bead screen.

king_tubby

No mention of those diecast metal wizards/dragons/fairies with a crystal somewhere that the British Heart Foundation hawk out? Who has ever bought one of those?

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: king_tubby on May 22, 2022, 09:34:57 PMNo mention of those diecast metal wizards/dragons/fairies with a crystal somewhere that the British Heart Foundation hawk out? Who has ever bought one of those?

I had a really horrible pewter dragon for a few years. Found it in the shared hallway of our flat when pissed and liberated it, we beefed it up with even more garish gold chains. Dunno what happened to it but looking on ebay, some sap probably paid the best part of a ton for the hideous piece of shit at some point.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: shoulders on May 22, 2022, 09:30:48 PMOccasionally you get these at the entrance of toilets in Southern Europe, conjuring unwanted images of the hundreds of people whose pissy and/or poo particle ridden hands have pushed through the beads.

One time in Trieste I saw a woman in real time appreciating that and her face turning to a picture of horror and dismay.

Trapped in the purgatory of piss bead screen.

When on holiday in Malta I saw a bin very similar to the ones you get next to Greek bogs, only found out later that they have normal plumbing, I only did it once but got suspicious looks from a cafe owner when I went the next day.

Clownbaby

#110
Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 22, 2022, 08:26:54 PMOne road I lived on had a house with a bay window that had a HUGE picture of their baby grandchild on the back opposite wall, we're talking 70-inch plus. It was creepy and overbearing as fuck passing it from outside if they hadn't closed their curtains, your eyes were drawn to it from some latent animal instinct spotting a pair of eyes.

Just made me remember the actual chills I get whenever I see those staged family photo shoots where they're in front of a white background somehow looking like actors pretending to be a family in the photo, all cutely dressed in the same outfit and posing self-consciously and bonus points if it's a fucking massive print of course

I don't know how your average family can just turn themselves into a stock photo, put it on their wall and not feel uncomfortable seeing it every day

Red Macadam

I have a plastic replica statuette of a Cretan snake godess, the one with a cat on her head. It has light up eyes and is really quite awful. It...she? stands on the toilet cistern and is only turned on at Christmas. Which is more than some of us can say.
For 2 euros, though, I found it impossible to resist.

I do have quite a lot of hideous stuff. I bought a battery powered miniature grandfather clock, complete with swinging pendulum, from a charity shop during lockdown. It was in the 20p bin and I felt sorry for it. It's gold plastic and if I had a pair of them they'd make great ear rings for a pantomime dame. The thought of there being two of the monstrosities doesn't bear thinking about, but they were probably made in their thousands. Why? Why are these things made? For twats like me, probably.

The most tasteless decorative items I've ever seen were in Poland. Figurines of stereotypical caricature Jewish men, with real zlotys in their hands. I'm not sure they could really be regarded as decorative, but people were buying them.

Dex Sawash


Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 22, 2022, 08:26:54 PMOne road I lived on had a house with a bay window that had a HUGE picture of their baby grandchild on the back opposite wall, we're talking 70-inch plus. It was creepy and overbearing as fuck passing it from outside if they hadn't closed their curtains, your eyes were drawn to it from some latent animal instinct spotting a pair of eyes.

Some friends of mine used to live opposite a house where someone had stuck a big photo of one of their kid's faces on the wall facing the window, and when you walked past the house at night it looked like a hovering ghost child staring out at you.

pigamus

Quote from: Dex Sawash on May 23, 2022, 02:18:45 AMBlue dog sniffing boy's ringpiece

Water in the milk
From a hole in the roof
Where the rain came through

pigamus

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 22, 2022, 04:54:42 PMI've long wondered if that flat is actually where they live or a stage flat for the purposes of taking pictures by the papers. There's some hints (like the bunch of keys in the door) that make me wonder if it's a set-up but it's all too insubstantial for me to say one way or another. In fact a lot it is little more than a fleeting hunch.

Yeah... would a couple that age have Bart Simpson on their shelves?

idunnosomename

They couldve been watching it on Sky in their 50s. You know Ron had it so he could watch the adult channel previews at midnight