Chris Morris- Most Interesting Facts

[Geraint]

Chris Morris was bored of Chuck Norris jokes when they were still Vin Diesel jokes

[Howj Begg]

i just had a dream in which chris morris wrote a song for eurovision.

[Saucer51]

Chris Morris was born Chaim Reuben Lewkovitch, the eldest son of Russian Jewish immigrants to the East End of London.

He did not follow his father into the tailor profession and instead studied mime with 80's pop star Roachford at Inverness University.

Chris Morris' first foray into the public eye was as a puppet act with a know-it-all blue pterodactyl.

In 2002 Chris Morris won "undisclosed damages" from the High Court after a tabloid ran a story insinuating a torrid love affair between him and the actor who played jester Timothy Claypole of Rentaghost.

Chris Morris' father, Chaim Snr, is the proud inventor of the Toss-o-sock, a garment that enables male masturbation to be completed without the need for wasting lots of tissues. Titanium lined but very fluffy, Toss-O-Sock can be used 6000 times before being flushed harmlessly down the toilet.

Toss-O-sock was very nearly called Mastomitten, but Chris Morris' grandmother, Esther Lewkovitch, was given the task of patenting the product. Unfortunately when she reached the patent office she forgot the name and had to hastily come up with a new one!

Chris Morris was banned from entering any BBC studios or buildings in 1999 after being caught allegedly stealing artefacts from the vintage tv show Rentaghost. Security personnel discovered Mr Morris in possession of a jesters hat and jingly shoes. Rumours on the internet persist that during that incident, Morris was seen to be caressing the jesters hat with a wistful look on his face.

Despite the BBC ban, Chris Morris was approached to be the subject of the popular genaelogical programme Who Do You Think You Are. Historians were able to uncover the fascinating tapestry of his heritage. Through his mother, Chris Morris is related to the Mitfords, Rudolf Hess, and controversially, Danny Baker. Interestingly, Chris Morris is a direct descendant of Mary Queen of Scots - twice!

Chris Morris is very fond of Shepherds Pie and there is hell to pay if he doesn't get his favourite dish at least 3 times a week.

Profits of Toss-O-Sock enabled Chris Morris to be sent to Harrow. But he was very cautious about revealing the source of his family income, lest his more snobby classmates deem him nouveau riche.

Chris Morris was paid a staggering £6 million to front a phone company's advertising campaign. The series of adverts saw him portraying Bert, the dependable whistling plumber with an uncanny knowledge of telecommunication and it's oh-so-wonderful virtues. However, several foolish members of the public were soon to confuse Chris Morris with Bert in real life! And to this day people cheekily call out things such as "C*nt", "Enjoy your loot, you sell-out whore" and "Plumb this you twat"

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

If one dreams of Chris Morris, it means he's just Satirised you.

Chris Morris's father, Maurice 'Cigarettes' Morris, was a Satyr.

At dinner parties, Chris Morris always insists on an elevated dinner table position, meaning he is sat 'igher than the other guests.

[TC Raymond]

Chris Morris has a port stain birthmark on his lower back in the exact shape of Jodie Foster undoing Robert DeNiro's flies in Taxi Driver.

[monkhouse terror]

HURRR