Chris Morris - Suicide Bomber Project News

[Huzzie]

I don't give a fuck whether or not I see the money again, you'd need your head checking if you thought you were guaranteed to get any sort of return on the "investment".  I'm sure most other people who would be chucking money in would be the same.

fake edit - oh, you were being funny.

I emailed them last night too.

I didn't think there was any suggestion that we would be getting our money back, was there? I thought we were simply donating.

Look. This is crazy. This man, who is supposed to be our comedy idol, the whole reason for this website being in existence, is struggling to on a project and has publicly asked for financial help.

Surely that is what we are here for?! Shouldn't this be on the front page and every one of us putting our hands in our pockets?

I will get in touch with Neil and ask if he can sort out something on behalf of Cookd and Bombd with all our help.

It is absurd that Morris is in this situation but it is also absurd that we are not getting angry about this and doing everything we can!

[Kazuo Kiriyama]

It does seem insane that this isn't on the front page of the site.

[Neil]

Surely that is what we are here for?! Shouldn't this be on the front page and every one of us putting our hands in our pockets?

I'm ill at the moment (to the point of being bed-ridden), I'll get it up there as soon as I can.

It is absurd that Morris is in this situation but it is also absurd that we are not getting angry about this and doing everything we can!

I'm still trying to decide what I think about the whole thing, and work out what is true.  Certainly, my initial response is to feel it's a bit weird and unseemly to see Morris going cap-in-hand to the internet's version of the News Of The World. 

Also, asking people to chuck in money for what could well be yet another desperately under-achieving Morris project... Hmm. 

[Huzzie]

We will not know how beneath him the show is until it gets made but I have every faith that it will be better than anything else out there.

Do we not have any members who know him, who can ask him if money (if money is lacking) really is going to help this project and then take it from there?

I'm sure many will not agree with me here but I honestly believe we owe him. Or at least, I owe him. Yes, we have bought his DVD's, his OTH tape, etc but I firmly believe we owe him more than that and I reckon the ideal way to repay him would be to help him with his next project.


Have you had that flu Neil? It's fucking horrible! Get well soon anyway, our kid.

EDIT: By the way, my post saying that it's absurd that this isn't on the front page was not in any way a dig at you but us all. I think it's absurd that we are not all, as a group, as a fucking Chris Morris Fan club, not making a big deal out of this.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

I didn't think there was any suggestion that we would be getting our money back, was there? I thought we were simply donating.

I posted that in response to the post above mine.

I'm ill at the moment (to the point of being bed-ridden), I'll get it up there as soon as I can.

I remember your sister saying you were ill when I met her  at the meet, hope you get well soon.

I'm still trying to decide what I think about the whole thing, and work out what is true.  Certainly, my initial response is to feel it's a bit weird and unseemly to see Morris going cap-in-hand to the internet's version of the News Of The World. 

Also, asking people to chuck in money for what could well be yet another desperately under-achieving Morris project... Hmm. 

If Morris released a DVD which just featured him farting throughout I'd probably still buy it so my opinion probably won't count for a lot, but yeah, would definitely chuck money at this, I'm sure a fairly high percentage of people on here would be the same.  Not a big fan of popbitch by any stretch, but I guess it's a good thing that the profile of this proposed project has been raised a bit further.

As for whether how genuine it might be, well, I've posted up what I've received so far so there's not an awful lot to go on at the moment, hopefully that situation will change in a couple of weeks.

[Neil]

Have you had that flu Neil? It's fucking horrible! Get well soon anyway, our kid.

I've certainly got something akin to a bad flu, but am also finding my balance severely affected.  Blood test results tomorrow.


I dunno, I just feel it's somewhat unpleasant of Morris to treat his fan-base like a piggy bank.  On the other hand, I kind of like the brazeness of it, given that he'd skewered a lot of them with Nathan Barley - and they're doubtless the first ones who'll be running around waving their 25 quid in the air, feeling involved.

[eluc55]

I dunno, I just feel it's somewhat unpleasant of Morris to treat his fan-base like a piggy bank.  On the other hand, I kind of like the brazeness of it, given that he'd skewered a lot of them with Nathan Barley - and they're doubtless the first ones who'll be running around waving their 25 quid in the air, feeling involved.

I don't know. I have big doubts (based on his last 8 years) about how good this project is going to be, and I find it impossible to get excited about. But.... i guess if he has no other way of funding it (and we have to assume he doesn't), then I can't really blame him for trying one last thing to get it made. It must matter to him and I guess that's a good sign, really.

In any case, I don't believe he'd be doing it unless he really had to.

[weekender]

In any case, I don't believe he'd be doing it unless he really had to.

Unless it was part of the overall satire, somehow.

[Deadman97]

Look. This is crazy. This man, who is supposed to be our comedy idol, the whole reason for this website being in existence, is struggling to on a project and has publicly asked for financial help.

Surely that is what we are here for?! Shouldn't this be on the front page and every one of us putting our hands in our pockets?

You've warmed my fucking heart there Huzz, seriously. He's not been exactly prolific for about a decade, but I'm not exaggerating when I say that this man's writing and the performances he's got from his collaborators changed my life- I wouldn't be who I am now had I not seen and heard his work in my formative years. I don't believe he'd be doing this unless the project meant a shitload to him and that the situation was was really that dire, so I'll contribute, and be glad of the chance to do so.

[Huzzie]

I've certainly got something akin to a bad flu, but am also finding my balance severely affected.  Blood test results tomorrow.

Hmmm. I don't like armchair diagnosis but that sounds quite like Vertigo. Which is frustrating but nothing to worry too much about, my pop has it (speaking about that man, I got him to making a rough version of the site at weekend, so I will get to you soon, I promise, sorry for fucking you about).

Good luck with your test. Let us know how you get on.

[13 schoolyards]

It's a project that certainly sounds worthy of our support - my only question is, why this funding model?  He'd need to get thousands of people involved if he was going to raise all the money this way (not that I'm saying that's what he's trying to do, mind), and you'd have to think "Chris Morris" would have enough of a profile even now to be able to raise film funding far more easily from more traditional sources.

I'm guessing that if he did raise the cash from traditional sources, he wouldn't have complete creative control - the money men would want to stick their fingers in and have some say in what he was up to.  If he can show some level of funding that doesn't have those strings, that might provide him with some leverage to tell the people with real deep pockets to let him do things his way.

[The Masked Unit]

I think Morris has squandered a lot of goodwill over the years with sub-standard output. If he was asking us to fund a BE special on terrorism I think I'd be more inclined to put my hand in my pocket because I don't see how the format could fail.

CM must surely be aware of this site and I refuse to believe he never comes here for a look. If this was indeed on the front page and people were donating then I would hope that he would have the common decency to pop in and say hello!

[Mob Bunkhaus]

Yeah, for 25 quid, I expect him to dance. No touching, though.

[ThickAndCreamy]

Well I sent an email and I'm willing to offer some money for sure, as long as it goes ahead that is.

[ziggy starbucks]

my problem here is that Morris is (as usual) quite secretive and isn't giving too much away about the nature of the project. If he wants my money, then he's going to have to tell me what exactly it is that he's doing, why he's doing it, what his ambitions are for it and where might I be able to see it.

[The Masked Unit]

Yeah, for 25 quid, I expect him to dance. No touching, though.

I once drunkenly gave a lapdancer's tit a cheeky lick when she came in close. Either she didn't feel it or was too kind to tell the bouncers not to kick my head in.

[Vitalstatistix]

my problem here is that Morris is (as usual) quite secretive and isn't giving too much away about the nature of the project. If he wants my money, then he's going to have to tell me what exactly it is that he's doing, why he's doing it, what his ambitions are for it and where might I be able to see it.

This.

[23 Daves]

my problem here is that Morris is (as usual) quite secretive and isn't giving too much away about the nature of the project. If he wants my money, then he's going to have to tell me what exactly it is that he's doing, why he's doing it, what his ambitions are for it and where might I be able to see it.

This is a fair point.  The people behind Alasdair Gray's "Poor Things" film (which doesn't look as if it will ever be finished) went around to numerous people with their caps in hand trying to drum up cash from monied wellwishers for the project, and for that you got plenty of background information.  (And if I'm being honest and had to choose, I'd give Gray the hundred pounds over Morris, although admittedly that would be an odd proposition, and one I wouldn't enjoy having to make my mind up about).

Morris on form deserves to have money thrown at him, but the premise of this project sounds dodgily close to the Brasseye Special to me - and if I gave a hundred pounds to a very heavyhanded, self-consciously controversial satire about Islamic terrorists which failed to make a coherent point, I'd end up kicking myself.  No, scrub that, I wouldn't need to - my wife would kick my arse around the block for me.  As would my Muslim neighbours. 

In short, I'm undecided.  I might buy Simon Munnery a very expensive present instead. 

[Bean Is A Carrot]

It's a project that certainly sounds worthy of our support - my only question is, why this funding model?  He'd need to get thousands of people involved if he was going to raise all the money this way (not that I'm saying that's what he's trying to do, mind), and you'd have to think "Chris Morris" would have enough of a profile even now to be able to raise film funding far more easily from more traditional sources.

I'm guessing that if he did raise the cash from traditional sources, he wouldn't have complete creative control - the money men would want to stick their fingers in and have some say in what he was up to.  If he can show some level of funding that doesn't have those strings, that might provide him with some leverage to tell the people with real deep pockets to let him do things his way.

I have some experience of raising funds (for arts projects, not feature film, admitedly) and often you find yourself in the position where one funding body will give you half of what you need as long as you can get the other half from somewhere else. He could be in that position. Or it could be the control thing. I sent him an e-mail anyway and got the replies everyone else has got back. I'm intrigued about the "appearing in the film" thing. Maybe he wants all the people who chucked in £25 to be in a crowd scene or something?

[Lee]

Look. This is crazy. This man, who is supposed to be our comedy idol, the whole reason for this website being in existence, is struggling to on a project and has publicly asked for financial help.

Surely that is what we are here for?! Shouldn't this be on the front page and every one of us putting our hands in our pockets?

Wouldn't that be against the buying and selling rule?

[13 schoolyards]

I have some experience of raising funds (for arts projects, not feature film, admitedly) and often you find yourself in the position where one funding body will give you half of what you need as long as you can get the other half from somewhere else. He could be in that position. Or it could be the control thing. I sent him an e-mail anyway and got the replies everyone else has got back. I'm intrigued about the "appearing in the film" thing. Maybe he wants all the people who chucked in £25 to be in a crowd scene or something?

That was exactly what I was thinking - from talking to Aussie film-makers it's almost always the case that you have to piece together finance from a bunch of sources, and gov. funding bodies often won't kick in unless you already have some funding / distribution locked in.  If this gets up, I'm guessing it'll be one of those films with eleven different production / funding companies logos up the front.

As for needing more info, it seems that at this stage it's all very vague (and he hasn't actually said "send your cash here" yet, has he?).  I would assume that once he gets around to actually giving out bank account details he would reveal a bit more.  Or maybe not - 25 pounds isn't really enough to get you a seat at the producers table.

[Ignatius_S]

Would we get joint executive producer credits? Seriously though....

The makers of Outlaw (a not very good vigilante film starring Sean Bean) did a very similar way of financing – a small contribution  would get you working as an extra and I think they allowed you to watch some of the creative process.

A while back, this type of financing was rather popular – but the deal tended to be £1,000 (for example) would buy you one share in the project... being able to appear as an extra would always be a given.

As for needing more info, it seems that at this stage it's all very vague (and he hasn't actually said "send your cash here" yet, has he?).  I would assume that once he gets around to actually giving out bank account details he would reveal a bit more.  Or maybe not - 25 pounds isn't really enough to get you a seat at the producers table.

As this stage, I'm sure that he's just trying to ascertain numbers of people who are interested in helping this way

I very much doubt that a huge amount of info will be given – if someone putting in £250K would be one thing, but £25 another...

[Bean Is A Carrot]

The more I think about this, the more I think it's probably an easier way of raising the cash than going round the production companies or trying to get funding from film finance bodies. Britain has almost no film industry at the moment anyway and funding applications involve a huge amount of work and often fail for seemingly inexplicable reasons (EU funding applications particularly). So, if you want to make a film and you have a fanbase, why not hit your fanbase up for a small amount and given them the opportunity to be extras. Then you can save money on extras, too. Win-win!

[Glebe]

Maybe Morris is planning to actually become a suicide bomber. Maybe that's what the project is all about.

[rudi]

The makers of Outlaw (a not very good vigilante film starring Sean Bean)

I'd go so far as to call it the least pleasant film I've seen in the past two years. Everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves[/Kermode]

[Neil]

Some good posts on this issue in 'ere.

That was exactly what I was thinking - from talking to Aussie film-makers it's almost always the case that you have to piece together finance from a bunch of sources, and gov. funding bodies often won't kick in unless you already have some funding / distribution locked in.  If this gets up, I'm guessing it'll be one of those films with eleven different production / funding companies logos up the front.

As for needing more info, it seems that at this stage it's all very vague (and he hasn't actually said "send your cash here" yet, has he?).  I would assume that once he gets around to actually giving out bank account details he would reveal a bit more.  Or maybe not - 25 pounds isn't really enough to get you a seat at the producers table.

...this one in particular, the vagueness confounded me too!  It just seemed to be kind of an afterthought after the Popbitch article - 'fuck it, get some of your nosey bastard readers to send 25 quid in an SAE, and I'll get the movie knocked up somewhere.'  Aha, well it's up on the WarpFilms site now too, so that confirms it.   Actually, I'll paste the info in and get cracking on an update:

£25 to fund and appear in Chris Morris' jihadi comedy....

CHRIS MORRIS JIHADI COMEDY TO BE A WARPFILMS CINEMA FEATURE

Following rumours in the press and online Warp Films can confirm that Chris Morris' comedy about british jihadis is being made by Warp Films as an independently funded cinema feature. The script has been written by Chris in collaboration with Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain and is now ready to shoot. Production will begin as soon as we are fully funded. To that end we are running a number of investment schemes including donations which give you the chance to be in the film.

mail enquiries to: fundingmentalism@warpfilms.com
Please pass this on to ten people

[Santa's Boyfriend]

I was thinking of writing to Channel 4 and suggesting that the next series of Big Brother be set in Guantanamo Bay.  If Morris pulls this off, maybe they'll take me seriously.

[Sovereign]

To be fair, I downloaded Blue Jam off this website free of charge, so I reckon that I (and anyone else who downloaded Blue Jam for that matter) should find it in their hearts to chip in a bit of money. It's not a matter of owing anyone anything, it's just mutual common decency. He's never kicked up any sort of a fuss about Blue Jam or the other stuff hosted here, and we should do something to recipricate and show our gratitude for that.

Once my student loan gets in i'll throw £20 his way. Dont think it'll do much good tho.   

[Little Hoover]

It's not as if there's complete copies of blue jam available in the shops though is it. I do feel a bit guilty about the amount of stuff I've downloaded for free sometimes, but not when it's stuff I can only find on the net.

[Mob Bunkhaus]

No, I dont feel like I owe him anything just because he's previously made me laugh. And I don't think if I give then he owes me in the Champagne Room. I'd just like a new Morris film about the greatest popular madness since the Cold War, please: the tragedy of 'Power of Nightmares' replayed as farce would do me.

I subscribe to Private Eye for about 25 quid a year. It's mostly shit, now, but some of it's good and it's a small price to pay to keep it around until it's really needed.

So, I'm going to give to this. I don't think a Morris, Bain and Armstrong thing would be turned down by the Beeb and C4 because it was too bland. At worse, this will be a glorious, over-reaching, failure. Which is a very good thing indeed.