Favourite football tropes

[kalowski]

Really talented, ball skills, tiki taka team being undone by an ugly route one boot up field.
They've had 78% possession but now they're 1-0 down.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Really talented, ball skills, tiki taka team being undone by an ugly route one boot up field.
They've had 78% possession but now they're 1-0 down.

Football Manager tropes

[kalowski]

One I hate: fairly talented striker hits the ball well from about 35 yards but the shot flies a few feet wide.
Whole stand of fat talentless opposite team fans spread their arms wide and shout "Waaaaaah"

[Inspector Norse]

Classic one in the game just now as a player chased unsuccessfully after a ball near the touchline, resulting in him crashing into the linesman and sending hum tumbling into the hoardings.

[bgmnts]

A player crossing themselves as they on as a sub.

Unsure why but every single football player is Catholic.

[Psybro]

When the referee warns a defender for holding at a set piece, and actually immediately awards a penalty when he just carries on doing it anyway

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Small boys

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

Delirium.

...hearts are broken.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

The orange ball (and particularly the moment the orange ball needs to be introduced).

Sadly becoming a rarity with climate change.

[curiousoranges]

Attractive women in the crowd, during TV coverage of a world cup game. They may have painted faces.

[shoulders]

When the team start undressing and stroking each others torsos and sucking each other off

[Quote]

Barry Fry wanking furiously in the dug out.

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

Attractive women in the crowd, during TV coverage of a world cup game. They may have painted faces.

They may also be Holland supporters.

[Theoretical Dentist]

When they focus on someone in the crowd – attractive woman or not, but it usually is – as soon as they notice they're on the big screen the camera cuts away as soon as possible. But sometimes you catch a glimpse of them trying to wave at the camera but inevitably doing it in the wrong direction.

[Psybro]

Somebody looking absolutely gutted they're team has conceded and then beaming when they see they're on camera is a fantastic international tournament feature.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

When they focus on someone in the crowd – attractive woman or not, but it usually is – as soon as they notice they're on the big screen the camera cuts away as soon as possible. But sometimes you catch a glimpse of them trying to wave at the camera but inevitably doing it in the wrong direction.

They always wave at the screen instead of looking for the camera.

[Brian Freeze]

Somebody looking absolutely gutted they're team has conceded and then beaming when they see they're on camera is a fantastic international tournament feature.

Why is no-one ever caught snarling "FUCK OFF!" in this situation? Is it down to the live delay and nifty hands on editing?

[Kankurette]

Obnoxious ball boys.

[Theoretical Dentist]

Player scoring against their old team and then performatively refusing to celebrate

Another form of performative respect, a recent trend I think, is when players do a little swerve or jump to avoid treading on a team's crest painted on the floor, usually next to the pitch or in the tunnel. The players who do this often do it for any team, but maybe there are cases where they've done it particularly ostentatiously for a former team. I'd like to see a player deliberately stamp on the crest of a team they hate.

[Kankurette]

I'm surprised this hasn't happened in a Merseyside derby. Or some Everton gremlin flipping off the This Is Anfield sign.

[The Lurker]

It used to be when the timer reached 100 minutes but with all the added time now, that's no longer a novelty.

Goalies coming up for corners. Outfielders in goal. Penalty shootouts were you don't support one of the teams playing. A goalmouth scramble - phwoaaaar

[Inspector Norse]

Long-range shot goes out for a throw-in

Also: ball is rolling out but hits the corner flag and stays in play, and it takes a moment for players to realise and chase it down.

[imitationleather]

A load of burly men with thick chest hair naked and having a great time in a massive communal bath. One probably has the lid of the FA Cup on his head. And it's black and white.

[jobotic]

The camera shows some sweet kids in the crowd - what football is all about - and quickly stops when one of them gives the wanker sign to the opposition fans.

Fans singing about their rivals when playing a different team, who don't give a shit.

[Kankurette]

The camera shows some sweet kids in the crowd - what football is all about - and quickly stops when one of them gives the wanker sign to the opposition fans.

Fans singing about their rivals when playing a different team, who don't give a shit.

Man United fans singing anti-Liverpool songs when the opposition were that famous Scouse team, Bournemouth.

[Captain Z]

A wolf-whistle from the crowd after a wayward shot.

[Kankurette]

An inflatable being thrown around the crowd. Such as Sunderland's inflatable penis.

[ersatz99]

Forfar  5-4  Fife

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

A chant echoes around the stadium:

Ludicrous display
Ludicrous display

[Gulftastic]

Forfar  5-4  Fife

The inflections in the voice of whoever reads out the full classified results reflecting the result more than the actual score.

I remember Danny Baker having a cellist on his radio show playing certain results. It worked a treat