LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Glebe]

Gary gets increasing agitated overhearing two middle-class people talking about an arthouse film in the pub.

"Fucking weirdos," he whispers to Daz. "If they say 'ambience' again I'll kick off!"

[Paul Calf]

"Oi! Cunt! That's IT! You'd better call a fuckin' ambience".

Daz thinks it's quite a good joke under the circs, as it were.

[Glebe]

"Oi! Cunt! That's IT! You'd better call a fuckin' ambience".

Daz thinks it's quite a good joke under the circs, as it were.

Hector looks for in astonishment as his friend Julian is beaten to a pulp by Gary.

"Such an astonishingly dynamic scene, like Tarantino  doing social realism - and succeededing! Oh yeah better call that 'ambience', nice one young Gareth ho ho!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary stands outside his local secondary school shouting "It's alright kids, I went to the University of Life and I turned out fine."

[Glebe]

Legend Gary stands outside his local secondary school shouting "It's alright kids, I went to the University of Life and I turned out fine."

"You risked looking like a paedo there Gary."

Daz spends the next six months in plastercasts.

[Glebe]

Gary is sitting in the front porch looking pensive.

"You alright, Gary?"

"Yes thank you, Daz. I'm just in a kind of autumnal mood, if you will."

[Paul Calf]

Gary is sitting in the front porch looking pensive.

"You alright, Gary?"

"Yes thank you, Daz. I'm just in a kind of autumnal mood, if you will."

Daz walks away.

"Soft cunt," he murmurs as soon as he's out of Gary's earshot.

[Glebe]

Gary is planning to burn as much fossil fuel as he can during the winter.

"Global warming 'goes away' during the winter season Daz. The Earth cools down! That's science!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

"Liz Truss is right about calling for people in Britain to show more graft Daz! I work hard, lots of people don't"

"Gary we've spent most of this morning playing Duelling Forklifts"

[Glebe]

"Liz Truss is right about calling for people in Britain to show more graft Daz! I work hard, lots of people don't"

"Gary we've spent most of this morning playing Duelling Forklifts"

"Remember what Norman Tebbit said Daz, he said, 'On your bike and up the Alamo'!"

[Glebe]

Gary spents the weekend in Swansea wanking.

[Glebe]

Gary starts a campaign to propel 'Mambo No. 5' back to the top of the charts.

[Paul Calf]

Gary spents the weekend in Swansea wanking.

"How was it," asks Daz.

"When you wank into the void, the void wanks back".

[Glebe]

"How was it," asks Daz.

"When you wank into the void, the void wanks back. In Swansea".

[Glebe]

A criminal psychologist erroneously describes Gary as "harmless".

[Glebe]

Gary claims to have beaten up every member of the Luton F.C. squad.

[Blue Jam]

Legend Gary plans to survive the energy crisis by spending the entire winter in Steak Terry's hot tub.

[Glebe]

Gary gives this 'nerd' thing a shot and binges the entire series of Star Trek: TNG in one weekend, just sitting there with his arms folded and not reacting.

"Didn't like it, Daz."

[Glebe]

"Sigh. Back to school soon Daz."

"Gary you're 39 years old."

"Oh yeah I'm thinking of prison. Back to prison soon."

[Paul Calf]

Gary plans to be wing daddy on day 2 but is instead squatting in the corner of his cell trying not to cry for his mum.

[Blue Jam]

Legend Gary gets an emotional support pitbull.

[Paul Calf]

Um...Gary, mate.

That's not a pitbull.

[Blue Jam]

For Legend Gary every day is a Notting Hill Carnival:

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary downs an eight pack of Fosters on the Waterloo and City Line.

[Glebe]

Gary goes for a pint with his new mates Cement Mickzer and Cancelled Gavin.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Legend Gary downs an eight pack of Fosters on the Waterloo and City Line.

Legend Gary chunders into Daz's hoodie on the escalator at Bank.

[Fambo Number Mive]

While Daz is away at Reading Festival, Legend Gary watches University Challenge and gets 11 questions right.

[Glebe]

While Daz is away at Reading Festival, Legend Gary watches University Challenge and gets 11 questions right.

He rings Daz to inform him of this impressive personal record. "I'd been 'boning' up!" he adds.

[Glebe]

Gary dumps all his recyclables in the ordinary bin but makes up for it by planting a twig every time he does so.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary posts on Facebook that he knows how to use a rotary phone and work out pre decimal coinage.