What Non-New Films Have You Seen? (2021 Edition)

[Small Man Big Horse]

The Quatermass Xperiment (1955) - The first of Nigel Kneale's surly scientist's cinematic adventures, with Brian Donlevy playing the lead character, though for my money he's no way near as good as Quatermass And The Pit's Andrew Keir. The plot isn't as intriguing either as after a rocket returns from space only one of the astronauts is still aboard, and he's all but a zombie and not saying a word as to what happened, the mystery takes a fair old while to unravel but when it does it's not that thrilling, and the cast in general are only average so I didn't really care who lived or died. There's the odd amusing scene,

Spoiler alert

like one where a young girl invites the surviving astronaut to a tea party, and when Thora Hird's homeless woman Rosie reports what she saw to the police and is quite surprised when they take her seriously, uttering "You mean this time it's not a gin goblin?",

[close]

but most of the time I found it fairly dull. 5.0/10

[Famous Mortimer]

Syngenor

Synthesized Genetic Organism! The film itself is a horribly synthesized version of "Aliens", "Predator" and "Robocop", with a whiff of "Terminator" to tie everything together. I don't think it is a Roger Corman effort, but you could totally buy him asking people for scripts based on just one of those, and one of the writers not understanding the assignment.

There's a corporation who's built the aforementioned super-soldier, a plucky reporter, the determined relative of a murdered scientist, and a whole lot of evil corporate types (oh, and the world's least curious security guard). Gets a bit too bogged down in corporate intrigue, and there's too little fighting, but it's not bad.

You may recognise and enjoy Star Andreeff (Ghoulies 2, Scanner Cop, Vampire Journals), David Gale (the baddie from "Re-Animator") and Charles Lucia (the baddie from "Society"). You may also wonder why David Gale borrowed the green liquid from Re-Animator and is injecting himself with it at regular intervals (it's never explained).

EDIT: Just learned it's a "sequel" to Scared To Death from 1980, but I'm guessing it's a sequel the way Troll 2 and XTRO 2 are, in other words not at all.

[sevendaughters]

Quo vadis, Aida - Bosnian film (funded by half of Europe though) about a translator in the midst of the evacuation of Srebrenica. Heavy going stuff, not without some levity, and all actual violence off-screen. It didn't really do any moral complication and absolutely bashes the hell out of NATO, but honestly, sometimes you just want to tell it straight with a side order of total horror.

[Inspector Norse]

Quo vadis, Aida - Bosnian film (funded by half of Europe though) about a translator in the midst of the evacuation of Srebrenica. Heavy going stuff, not without some levity, and all actual violence off-screen. It didn't really do any moral complication and absolutely bashes the hell out of NATO, but honestly, sometimes you just want to tell it straight with a side order of total horror.

Yeah watched that a few months ago and really liked it. Like you say it wasn't exactly subtle and didn't go for many grand gestures or artistic flourishes, but sometimes it's most effective just to show things pretty much as they were and let the audience see.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Funuke: Show Some Love, You Losers! (2007) - This Japanese film was described as a black comedy but I'd say it's more of a very dark drama with only occasionally funny moments, where after her parents are killed trying to stop a cat from being run over, Kiyomi's wannabe actress sister Sumika returns home and boy is she a selfish, controlling, manipulative and all round shitty individual. Brother Shinji is kind to the quiet, withdrawn Kiyomi at least, but he's horrible to his wife, and the family as a whole become increasingly dysfunctional due to Sumika's presence. I liked this a fair amount, and the ending is very satisfying, I've some minor issues with the pacing and it could have explored Sumika's mental health issues a little more in depth, but it's definitely quite an unusual and captivating movie. 7.5/10

[Pink Gregory]

Watched the Baz Luhrmann version of The Great Gatsby.

Seems to be very divisive at least, probably in some part because of the release in 3D, but I really liked it.

Sure, it's fucking ludicrous and exhausting to look at, but as I haven't read the book I wasn't really looking for subtleties of interpretation or anything like that.  Maybe it was just the right film at the right time, ultimately it's quite a simple film with emotionally resonant performances, underneath all the knowing artifice.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Make Mine Music (1946) - Another Disney musical anthology, a complete version of this was hard to track down at first as they've cut out a fair bit and I ended up watching a fan made reconstruction. Missing from the one Disney air is all of "The Martins and the Coys", a vaguely amusing violence filled effort where two groups of "Mountain Men" murder each other and the punchline is essentially "Haha Domestic Violence", plus there's some extremely brief side-boob and a hint of arse cut from Benny Goodman's "All The Cats Join In" which Disney feared would corrupt young minds. I liked the sequel to this, Melody Time, but thought this was much weaker, All The Cats Join In, Johnny Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet (a bizarre love story between two hats) and The Whale Who Wanted To Sing At The Met (also very strange) are all great, but there are four which are actively tedious animation wise (Blue Bayou, Without You, Two Silhouettes and After You've Gone), while Casey At The Bat is only okay and Peter And The Wolf has decent animation and music but an incredibly annoying voice over from the normally reliable Disney regular Sterling Holloway. 5.4/10

[Famous Mortimer]

Blood Ties
The 1991 version, out of the 10 or so which share the same title. Kind of a soap opera about the "Carpathian-American" culture (under-powered vampires), and seems like a failed pilot for a show, which I'd definitely have watched. Not terrible, but should you pop it on on Youtube, you'll forget everything about it within an hour.

[SteveDave]

"Serpico"

I was dismayed that it didn't end with Serpico dressed as a priest with a nun on look-out duty as happens in "Rushmore"

It was OK. It didn't feel as tense as it should've felt with all the bent cops knowing he wasn't taking the money and every policeman who saw him being a potential threat.

"Dog Day Afternoon" felt tenser but had lower stakes (as far as I can remember).

[Small Man Big Horse]

Fahrenheit 451 (1966) - Now that's what I call a dystopian future 23, Truffaut's adaptation of the Ray Bradbury novel sees firemen starting fires by burning books, the absolute rotters, while they'll shave the hair off any hippy-ish types they come across as well. One of the firemen, Montag (Oskar Werner) is married to the drug addled Linda (Julie Christie) and seems relatively happy, but when he meets Clarisse (also Julie Christie) all it takes is a tiny bit of flirting and suddenly Montag is reading books himself, the fucking idiot. Montag also trains others in the art of finding hidden books but then leaves his in places that a blind, deaf, armless and legless man could find within seconds, the stupid twat that he is, and it's one of the most predictable films I've ever seen. Werner and Christie are fairly mediocre and not particularly likeable, but the biggest problem for me is that the likes of The Handmaid's Tale and 1984 portray far bleaker and distressing potential futures, and so this seems quite lightweight in comparison. 5.4/10

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

At least Equilibrium had gun fu fighting.

[Egyptian Feast]

Another case of great book, shit film. Werner was miscast and rubbish. It looks decent, but that's about all it has going for it.

[Famous Mortimer]

Hawkeye (1988)

Fans of "Low Blow", starring Leo Fong, should love this, as Fong co-directed it and it's every bit as bonkers as the movies that he starred in. There are so many weird choices made, like how star George Chung breaks the fourth wall twice, once by looking straight into camera and announcing his nickname, and the other by wiggling his ass along with the music playing in the scene; and how the two main cops lose their jobs not for beating up suspects or endangering multiple lives in a hostage situation, but for arresting a drug dealer who's friends with the Mayor. Oh, and how the coroner is introduced!

Ludicrously entertaining, even if it's so murky several scenes take place in complete darkness. It's just not quite right. I'm glad Leo Fong and George Chung never listened when people tried to give them advice on how to make movies, because we'd have got something boring and average and not this gem. It's even on Youtube for you to enjoy.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Another case of great book, shit film. Werner was miscast and rubbish. It looks decent, but that's about all it has going for it.

I'm glad to hear that as I remember liking Bradbury when younger but had never read Fahrenheit 451. I had high expectations for this too as it was also Truffaut and Christie but it's oddly bland and the society seems irritating but nothing more than that, while the characters are incredibly thinly drawn, and you're absolutely right about Werner.

[colacentral]

Ponette (1996)

Not my idea of a Friday night film but it's been on my Mubi watch list for a while and it was leaving at midnight. Glad I forced myself because it was stunning.

It's about a four year old French girl dealing with the death of her mother. The whole cast of children is amazing, but particularly the little girl who plays Ponette (four year old Victoire Thivisol won a Best Actress award at the Venice Film Festival). I don't think think I've seen anything else that so accurately captures the way children really talk and think about things. Would strongly recommend.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Tequila Sunrise, had potential but was kind of dull shit really.

[Dex Sawash]

^ Only remember Raul Julia's line "you fuck like a world champion" which I hope to use someday

[Small Man Big Horse]

Dean Spanley (2008) - I watched this after it was mentioned in the "Movie Stars That Never Were" thread and would definitely recommend others do so too if you're in the mood for something heart-warming. In it Fisk Jr (Jeremy Northam) and his father Fisk Sr (Peter O'Toole) have a rather frosty relationship, but when Fisk Jr meets the slightly odd Dean Spanley (Sam Neill) he discovers that when sharing a rare bottle of wine with him he talks about his past life, and becomes fascinated by it. A shaggy dog tale and then some, I wasn't quite sure where this was going initially but it won me over and is a very sweet natured and charming little piece. 7.6/10

[Sebastian Cobb]

^ Only remember Raul Julia's line "you fuck like a world champion" which I hope to use someday

Him and Michelle Michelle Pfeiffer were the best things about it but there's a limit to how interesting a film about a love triangle over a maitre d' can be really.

[Famous Mortimer]

You Might Be The Killer

Fran Kranz and Alyson Hannigan star, which indicates one of the producers really wanted that Joss Whedon pixie dust for it. But they're filmed entirely separately, and I'm not certain that Kranz makes any reference to her gender, which might mean they filmed his stuff before they'd even cast her.

 Sam (Kranz), covered in blood, barricades himself in a cabin and calls his friend Chuck (Hannigan). People are dead at the summer camp he runs, and he wants...to talk it out with her? They handwave away the lack of any police in this universe. As he recaps the story, out of order, to her, they try and figure out who the killer is.

I'm not sure if the story is overcooked or undercooked, but it feels like a couple of moderately decent writers saw "Cabin In The Woods", "The Final Girls", Scream" and "Tucker And Dale vs. Evil" a few too many times and decided they could get on that bandwagon. It's one of those things where clever poster placement and characters being named after other famous characters stands in for plot development - like there are four characters called Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice, a reference for the Dads watching along with their teenage kids, just one that nothing is done with.

I just discovered, after watching it, that its genesis was a Twitter thread, which makes me like it less - presumably, a riff on that Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck" thing. 

I didn't hate it, but it ran out of ideas really quickly, and wasn't as clever as it thought it was. Or perhaps the concept was just fundamentally not that interesting.

[rjd2]

Point Break  4/5

Keanu Reeves learns to surf and chase villains and get a girlfriend, not the most groundbreaking of films to say the least but very entertaining. The lowish ratings by some critics is unfair.

The Nun 4/5

A lass with few options in life has to become a nun, it's not ideal as not only is she not a true believer she then has to deal with all sorts of cruelty. She encounters three superiors/bosses, one is normal enough but in poor health, an other is incredibly cruel while the third despite her initial cheeriness is somehow even more problematic to deal with.

There isn't much humor or hope to be found as our protagonist yearns for freedom from such overwhelming oppression. The cast is great and aesthetics all add to the intensity of the film.

There is no evil 4/5

Iranian banger. 4 tales where our protagonists deal with the death penalty in their own way. First part we encounter a standard enough family worrying about the usual e.g daughter eating to much fast food, but the mundanity lures you in it and it quickly becomes a really intense thriller.

We also meet a chap who  tries to find a way out of been the executioner the night before he has to do the deed and and then another guard who has snagged a few days of to see his beloved. The final tale and unfortunately it's the weakest as its the most melodramatic a young girl meets her uncle for a brief holiday . Its 150 minutes long and the weakish final plot does slightly ruin it, but nonetheless highly recommended. The director under house arrest when it was made which makes it all the more remarkable.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Sest Medvedu S Cibulkou (aka Six Bears And A Clown, 1972) - Animal lovers should probably look away here as this 1972 children's movie from Lemonade Joe director Oldřich Lipský sees a circus owner tricked in to swapping his bears for pigs, and they end up running away and tracking down a recently fired clown and his pet chimpanzee in the school where it's his first day working as a cook, but he's having to pretend to be a woman as like nearly all the men in the film the headmaster's a sexist pig. To add to the farcical nature of it all soon the clown is having to pretend to be the cleaning woman and the janitor as well as they saw the bears and fainted, and of course today of all day's the school inspector is coming to visit. It's extremely silly stuff, occasionally it feels like the bears are just left in a room to fuck about, but it has a fast pace and I can't deny that it made me laugh a good deal. 7.5/10

[A Hat Like That]

Twins of Evil. Peter Cushing vs identical twin Playmates. Enjoyed, T'n'A'n'Blood'n'Gore but there's some very dated bits. Joachim the servant signing that the mob is coming with "two syllables ... does axes have two syllables?".

[Artie Fufkin]

Dean Spanley (2008) - I watched this after it was mentioned in the "Movie Stars That Never Were" thread and would definitely recommend others do so too if you're in the mood for something heart-warming. In it Fisk Jr (Jeremy Northam) and his father Fisk Sr (Peter O'Toole) have a rather frosty relationship, but when Fisk Jr meets the slightly odd Dean Spanley (Sam Neill) he discovers that when sharing a rare bottle of wine with him he talks about his past life, and becomes fascinated by it. A shaggy dog tale and then some, I wasn't quite sure where this was going initially but it won me over and is a very sweet natured and charming little piece. 7.6/10

A re-make, yes?
No, actually.
I watched about the first 20 minutes of this last year, but just couldn't get into it.

[Small Man Big Horse]

A re-make, yes?
No, actually.
I watched about the first 20 minutes of this last year, but just couldn't get into it.

I can completely understand that, the opening twenty minutes aren't representative of the film as a whole and for me it only becomes entertaining when Sam Neill

Spoiler alert

starts to talk about how he used to be a dog.

[close]

[sevendaughters]

watched Playtime the other day.  One of those to file under 'respect the effort but': an incredible undertaking with a lot of excellent visual moments. Tati constructed a massive set and he wants you to look at things happening all over it, all of the time. He wants to give near equality to the thing happening far-right corner to the thing in the foreground, and he wants to fix the sound so no one bit of dialogue has especial esteem over the rest. Truly a democratic and brilliant vision.

Problem is - it is hard to watch and enjoy as a comedy, especially when much of the comedy is a stilted physical ur-Mr Bean type. The gaggle of American tourists are as annoying as their real equivalent, and the film has this grey-green-blue wash that is meant to represent consumerist future Paris, but does slightly wear you down. Seen before and used to love it but times change: this time I liked bits and wished I still loved it, but I didn't.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Metal Heart (2018) - Irish coming of age comedy drama written by Paul Murray, the author of the novels Skippy Dies, An Evening of Long Goodbyes and The Mark And The Void. Left alone for six weeks by their parents (which means Dylan Moran gets to make a brief cameo) non-identical twins Emma (Jordanne Jones) and Chantal (Leah McNamara) have the house to themselves, Emma's planning on forming a band with best friend Gary while Chantal's a youtube influencer, but in to their lives comes next door neighbour Dan (Moe Dunford) who's returned home to look after his dying mother, and he's another of Murray's very skeezy men who are aimlessly sliding through life and taking advantage of the people they encounter. I'm a big fan of Murray's and so expectations were high, but it's only okay, fine, amusing enough, with some decent dialogue, but it's predictable as hell

Spoiler alert

and by the end everything's wrapped up in a ridiculously neat and quite bland manner

[close]

. 6.0/10

[Smeraldina Rima]

watched Playtime the other day.  One of those to file under 'respect the effort but': an incredible undertaking with a lot of excellent visual moments. Tati constructed a massive set and he wants you to look at things happening all over it, all of the time. He wants to give near equality to the thing happening far-right corner to the thing in the foreground, and he wants to fix the sound so no one bit of dialogue has especial esteem over the rest. Truly a democratic and brilliant vision.

Problem is - it is hard to watch and enjoy as a comedy, especially when much of the comedy is a stilted physical ur-Mr Bean type. The gaggle of American tourists are as annoying as their real equivalent, and the film has this grey-green-blue wash that is meant to represent consumerist future Paris, but does slightly wear you down. Seen before and used to love it but times change: this time I liked bits and wished I still loved it, but I didn't.

I recently watched The Party after the discussion of it in SMBH's thread and assumed Playtime was a big influence. Then I looked it up and found this article, which suggests that it couldn't have been and says something loosely connected but interesting in its own right about Tati's heroes.

The connection to Blake Edwards brings up an interesting point. Some have claimed that Edwards based the title event in The Party (1968) on the restaurant scene in Playtime. I asked a Blake Edwards expert about this and it seems unlikely — even though both Edwards and Peter Sellers were upfront about The Party drawing its inspiration from Tati. The thing is Playtime — which opened in France on Christmas in 1967 — didn't appear in the U.S. till 1973. The Party opened in early April of 1968. It really doesn't add up — though there's no denying that two scenes share a similar vibe. However, the Peter Sellers' Hrundi V. Bakshi character is more like the Hulot character of earlier Tati films — a good-natured fellow with a knack for accidentally creating disasters of which he's often unaware. The Hulot of Playtime is different in that he mostly just wanders through disasters that he had nothing to do with. It's a pretty distinct difference.

https://mountainx.com/movies/reviews/playtime/

Perhaps Edwards could have gone to France to see it? Anyway, is the distinction between the accident causing and untroublesome heroes something that should stand out to most people who watch Tati films carefully? I've only seen Mon Oncle and Playtime and it makes me want to watch the films in order, assuming it's an accurate enough observation. Not sure if it implies that all the films before and after should fall into the two types or if Playtime is an anomaly.

[Herbert Ashe]

Anyway, is the distinction between the accident causing and untroublesome heroes something that should stand out to most people who watch Tati films carefully? I've only seen Mon Oncle and Playtime and it makes me want to watch the films in order, assuming it's an accurate enough observation. Not sure if it implies that all the films before and after should fall into the two types or if Playtime is an anomaly.

Not having seen it in ages, I want to say that in Traffic Hulot is closer to the Playtime Hulot but maybe I'm just remembering a couple of scenes badly (like the hippies), don't take my word for it.

I think Playtime is an anomaly, but maybe only because of circumstances: Tati wanted* to de-emphasise himself/Hulot as the star of the film (like sevendaughters mentioned above, to democratise his films - c.f. all the 'fake' Hulots throughout the film) but because of the financial failure, had to retreat from this position, so Traffic was a more commercial prospect, with Hulot back to being the focus. (Parade returns to the democratisation but as a semi-documentary)


* as per various Jonathan Rosenbaum writings on Tati

[Blumf]

XXX: Return of Xander Cage (2017)
Turned up on TV. I've not seen the previous films, so I was lost in the subtle miniature of character details, but from what I can make out, the Vin Diesel character is supposed to be a try hard loser whom everyone hates.

Eh, it's fiiiine. 12 y.o. boys will enjoy it. Samuel L. Jackson does Samuel L. Jackson, Vin Diesel is 50 years old, and Donnie Yen kicks people. The too kool 4 skool hip rebel stuff doesn't grate too much, and there are some nice set pieces.

It is, however basically the same plot as Furious 7 (2015), from the far superior Fast & Furious franchise. So, watch them instead, the thinking 12 y.o. boy's film series.


Alien from L.A. (1988)
Really felt like there was a whole story here, with good world building, dropped in favour of following Kathy Ireland about. A real shame, as what little meat we did see just reminded you of how hollow the resulting film was. In better hands this could easily have been up there with other great 80s neon fantasy films (the Bill & Ted films, Weird Science, Earth Girls are Easy, Highway to Hell, etc.). Doesn't even make for an interestingly weird failure like Meet the Hollowheads (1989).

Albert Pyun would go on to find his real calling with his 90s output, stuff like Cyborg (1989), Nemesis (1992). Maybe if Kathy Ireland's character was a robot.