Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 12:27:44 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Oreos are dogshit

Started by touchingcloth, April 28, 2022, 10:09:25 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Replies From View

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 28, 2022, 11:52:57 AMbourbons and custard creams have their names on but they're both alright

Weirdly, NICE biscuits have the word NICE on them when they aren't.  Blandest adjective and they can't even manage.

Replies From View

I know we're all heavily aware of why the Americans are medically required to add vomit compounds to all their cocoa butter, but it never ceases to amaze me.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Replies From View on April 28, 2022, 12:02:35 PMWeirdly, NICE biscuits have the word NICE on them when they aren't.  Blandest adjective and they can't even manage.

Those are shit, I'll give you that.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Custard creams are terrible, why anyone under the age of 80 would willingly eat one is beyond me. I'd take the worst American biscuit over them any day.

Blumf

It's a corporate encroachment on our biscuit commons. Anyone can make a bourbon, but Oreo is a trademark. This is why they're being pushed everywhere, there's brand money behind it, unlike our plucky bourbons.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Bourbons are absolutely fuck all like oreos, what the fuck are you lot all on about? Oh it's brown and it's got soft stuff in the middle? Well then I guess two hard dog shits with a soft dog shit in the middle is like a bourbon then? Or an oreo if it's a white shit

The Ombudsman

As mentioned in the latest Adam Buxton podcast, Choco Leibniz are the king/queen of biscuits.

dissolute ocelot

Choco Leibniz are just a big slab of mediocre chocolate with a tiny, unpleasant biscuit impressed into it. Just buy a bar of Dairy Milk, the biscuit doesn't make it a health food.

Psybro

Gonna go back to the diner in the picturesque, remote railroad town of Shoshone, Idaho and refuse to leave until they bring me a ginger nut.

the science eel

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on April 28, 2022, 12:53:30 PMChoco Leibniz are just a big slab of mediocre chocolate with a tiny, unpleasant biscuit impressed into it. Just buy a bar of Dairy Milk, the biscuit doesn't make it a health food.

Exactly.

And custard creams RULE


Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Joe Qunt on April 28, 2022, 11:50:28 AMI'm indifferent to them. Pretty sure they contain dairy so I can't have them anyway.
As was said a few posts above yours, they're vegan.

Gurke and Hare

Surely bourbons are French. They sound French. Bet they fucking stink of garlic.

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on April 28, 2022, 12:53:30 PMChoco Leibniz are just a big slab of mediocre chocolate with a tiny, unpleasant biscuit impressed into it. Just buy a bar of Dairy Milk, the biscuit doesn't make it a health food.

Have you tried the orange ones. Big question here, does any biscuit ever stand up to a tunnocks bar?

JesusAndYourBush

They're ok, but because I'd heard of them in American tv shows for so many years, when I finally discovered what one was it was a massive disappointment because it wasn't anything we didn't already have.

Gurke and Hare

Everything stands up to a Tunnock's wafer bar, they're the most overrated confection known to man. They always taste stale.

the science eel


buzby

As @Captain Z says, it's the sale of Cadburys to Mondolez which has led to the plague of the Oreo infesting our shores (see also the jhorrific 'cross branding' attempts at mixing Dairy Milk with Oreo/Lu/Ritz). As is the case with their chocolate, any US attempt at biscuits is doomed to be a failure. Oreos in particular can fuck off also due to their ad campaign soundtracked by the simpering autotuned Postal Service ripoff merchant Owl City bloke.

Bourbons are indeed far superior, but only the traditional 'obelisk'-shaped ones, as originally created by Peek Freans. Cheap Bourbons that are OEMed for some low-end supermarket own brands (by Burtons, I suspect, and easily identified as they are made using the same mould as Custard Creams) are usually horrible (soft, powdery biscuit with little or no cocoa powder, gritty filling).

Twinkies are just industrially-refined fat and sugar. Like Pringles, any of their ingredients are a few times removed from anything that naturally existed. The Hostess Co.'s financial impropriety caused them to go bankrupt at the end of 2012 and they did actually cease to exist for a while, but the company was bought out of bankruptcy by a private equity firm and production restarted the following March.

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on April 28, 2022, 02:51:42 PMEverything stands up to a Tunnock's wafer bar, they're the most overrated confection known to man. They always taste stale.
Indeed. Tunnock's wafers are completely underwhelming. Soft, over-sweetened (which may be a Scottish thing) and stick to your teeth. I do have a bit of a grudge against Boyd Tunnock though for a) ripping off the Moors Head/Chocolate Kiss from mainland Europe, calling it a teacake and claiming he had invented it, and b) being a Tory wanker.

touchingcloth


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

You're eating them wrong. You dip them in a cup of piping hot tea, and suck away the softening biscuit and filling. You fool. You utter, utter fool.

buzby

Quote from: touchingcloth on April 28, 2022, 04:00:51 PMThe cracker? wut

Salted crackers and Dairy Milk. Just what nobody ever asked for. Presumably they saw salted caramel was becoming a thing (despite it also being rancid) and thought this would work too.

Joe Qunt

Quote from: buzby on April 28, 2022, 04:24:39 PMPresumably they saw salted caramel was becoming a thing (despite it also being rancid)

Salted caramel is fucking divine you bollox

tourism

it's alright. 'divine' is bit much

touchingcloth

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on April 28, 2022, 04:21:40 PMYou're eating them wrong. You dip them in a cup of piping hot tea, and suck away the softening biscuit and filling. You fool. You utter, utter fool.

You're wrong. I don't do that.

Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: buzby on April 28, 2022, 04:24:39 PM
Salted crackers and Dairy Milk. Just what nobody ever asked for. Presumably they saw salted caramel was becoming a thing (despite it also being rancid) and thought this would work too.


The Tuc/Milka version of this is very good.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I remember a bit in Band of Brothers where an American soldier gave some chocolate to a Dutch boy to remind him of the sweet, sweet, slightly vomity taste of freedom, and I wanted the boy to take a bite, spit it out in the soldier's face in disgust, and then call him something rude in Dutch.

touchingcloth

Quote from: tourism on April 28, 2022, 04:27:48 PMit's alright. 'divine' is bit much

Salted caramel is often really salt-y caramel. Most sweet things benefit from a bit of salt in the background cos that's how flavour works, but salty caramel is about as nice as a sugary quiche would be.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on April 28, 2022, 02:51:42 PMEverything stands up to a Tunnock's wafer bar, they're the most overrated confection known to man. They always taste stale.

NOT HAVING THIS

the teacakes are a better product though, basically manna from heaven

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: buzby on April 28, 2022, 03:51:43 PMBourbons are indeed far superior, but only the traditional 'obelisk'-shaped ones, as originally created by Peek Freans. Cheap Bourbons that are OEMed for some low-end supermarket own brands (by Burtons, I suspect, and easily identified as they are made using the same mould as Custard Creams) are usually horrible (soft, powdery biscuit with little or no cocoa powder, gritty filling).

Yeah the custard-cream shaped bourbons are shit but I'd still take one over an orange cream, which can catch you off guard if everything's been piled into a biscuit tin.

Sherman Krank

The only time I've had Oreos was a few years back when the local Sainsburys was selling them for 20p a packet. I'm assuming that it was one of those drug dealer style promotions where they basically give them away in the hope you get addicted and keep buying them when the price goes back up.
Didn't work on me as I wouldn't pay more than 20p for a packet as they have that artificial food adjacent but not actually food thing that a lot of American 'food' seems to have.