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Crewe

Started by Porky, May 26, 2022, 09:05:33 AM

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Porky

Crewe's bid for city status failed .. Crewe has got so much going for it .. they even demolished the "iconic" "Big Bill" clock tower and have left much of the town centre looking like a bomb site, not to mention the crumbling 1959 built bus station .. so why was Crewe not granted city status?

sevendaughters

once the Limelight went it was all downhill.

Wonder what By Jovi are doing with their time now they can't play there every two months.

holyzombiejesus

A poundshop Nantwich. Nonce stronghold. There's still a road there named after a man banned from working with children.


holyzombiejesus

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on May 26, 2022, 09:38:19 AMWonder what By Jovi are doing with their time now they can't play there every two months.

Touring with Pete Loaf ('He's a dead ringer for Meat!')

pigamus

I knew a Mötley Crüe tribute band that came from there. They were called The Mötley Crüe Tribute Band.

Porky

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on May 26, 2022, 09:40:25 AMA poundshop Nantwich. Nonce stronghold. There's still a road there named after a man banned from working with children.


Dabbers ..  miserable cunts.

touchingcloth

I can't put my finger on why, but the most deso place on earth is Crewe train station. The town itself is fine, but the station is a sore, a pustule, a gaping hole of an anus.

Maybe it's just that it strikes when you least expect it. Your train from Kinross to Sheffield goes via Crewe? Unexpected the first time it happens, but soon you realise that all trains somehow go via Crewe. Crossrail probably does.

Porky

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 26, 2022, 10:29:14 AMI can't put my finger on why, but the most deso place on earth is Crewe train station. The town itself is fine, but the station is a sore, a pustule, a gaping hole of an anus.

Maybe it's just that it strikes when you least expect it. Your train from Kinross to Sheffield goes via Crewe? Unexpected the first time it happens, but soon you realise that all trains somehow go via Crewe. Crossrail probably does.
Do you think that the town is along the road that passes over the station bridge (Nantwich Road)?

shiftwork2

I had a moment on Crewe station when it hit me that I was alive, but this information seemed so overwhelmingly unlikely I wasn't sure whether to believe it or not.  There was a cafe with 'lemon' in its name.  Then a train went past and a draft went up my trouser leg.

Alright cheers

studpuppet

Because the name most associated with Crewe is Barry Bennell?

pigamus

I used to feel that way about Bristol Parkway. It's the fact that you aren't really anywhere. You're not in a place that really exists, not really.

Porky

Quote from: pigamus on May 26, 2022, 10:41:01 AMI used to feel that way about Bristol Parkway. It's the fact that you aren't really anywhere. You're not in a place that really exists, not really.
Crewe does exist but the town is about a mile from the station .. it also has two other minor shopping centres (streets) ..  The Shopping Mile and West Street. Bristol Parkway is actually at a village called Stoke Gifford.

Jittlebags

Crewe, the home of Robbo, the Chode King.

KennyMonster

Quote from: Porky on May 26, 2022, 10:43:57 AMCrewe does exist but the town is about a mile from the station .. it also has two other minor shopping centres (streets) ..  The Shopping Mile and West Street. Bristol Parkway is actually at a village called Stoke Gifford.

People often moan about the station being a mile from the town centre or anywhere else interesting without having the knowledge of the simplest parts of geography/town planning.

It could have been put a lot closer to the action but in the end they decided it was better to be near the railway line. 

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: KennyMonster on May 26, 2022, 10:51:29 AMPeople often moan about the station being a mile from the town centre or anywhere else interesting without having the knowledge of the simplest parts of geography/town planning.

It could have been put a lot closer to the action but in the end they decided it was better to be near the railway line.

I would simply have built the town nearer to the railway line.

shoulders

My only experience of Crewe is that bus station and from fleeting glimpses it looked like an utterly hideous place that should be replaced with a rolling meadow of pastoral goodness and ambrosia.

shoulders

I'm informed by my own Guide that The Borough Arms may be a bolthole of topering that makes life in Crewe fleetingly tolerable.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Porky on May 26, 2022, 10:34:45 AMDo you think that the town is along the road that passes over the station bridge (Nantwich Road)?

Pass. I think that Crewe is Crewe, but now that I think of it I don't think I've ever gone into the town from the station or vice versa. I don't think I've ever left the station except to board a train, or entered it apart from by alighting one.

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 26, 2022, 10:29:14 AMThe town itself is fine

It's not. I've worked and dated around Crewe and both have contributed to some of the most harrowing and desolate experiences of my life - and I've lived most of it in Stoke.

Do miss Limelights though.

touchingcloth

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on May 26, 2022, 12:30:33 PMIt's not. I've worked and dated around Crewe and both have contributed to some of the most harrowing and desolate experiences of my life - and I've lived most of it in Stoke.

Do miss Limelights though.

I've lived and worked and dated in Northwich, so don't talk to me about deso. Crewe is absolutely no worse than Northwich.

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 26, 2022, 12:41:00 PMI've lived and worked and dated in Northwich, so don't talk to me about deso. Crewe is absolutely no worse than Northwich.

Alright, let's roll up our sleeves and have a deso-off.

What's the number of brothels per capita in Northwich? Or are you going to conveniently claim the ONS don't have that when it suits you???????

touchingcloth

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on May 26, 2022, 12:54:48 PMAlright, let's roll up our sleeves and have a deso-off.

What's the number of brothels per capita in Northwich? Or are you going to conveniently claim the ONS don't have that when it suits you???????

I left when I was about 15, so I only got a chance to visit maybe ten, fifteen of the town's brothels. And obviously I was only able to attend those ones within the means of my pocket money and paper round income, so I probably only saw the most deso of them and didn't see the classier ones.

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 26, 2022, 12:41:00 PMCrewe is absolutely no worse than Northwich.


Crewe Tourist Board's latest slogan reported to "need work".

touchingcloth

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 26, 2022, 02:25:56 PMCrewe Tourist Board's latest slogan reported to "need work".


Juan K Perros

Quote from: studpuppet on May 26, 2022, 10:39:28 AMBecause the name most associated with Crewe is Barry Bennell?

The one whose mates called him 'the fattest winger in England'?

He had shite mates.

Magnum Valentino

Crewe used to have a deadly wee comic shop (Time Tunnel, anyone remember it?) but by the time I left it had moved from an actual shop to a kiosk in the local market which sold and stank of fish. Felt really sorry for the nice fella that ran it.

Remember the bus station well but no memory of the train station being particularly unpleasant.

They sent a new manager to the Game store I worked in a month before it announced it was closing. Nicest retail manager I ever worked for, like he was from another dimension where retail managers aren't either stressed to the point of prickliness or the EXACT kind of cunt (you know the kind). I lived in a flat where the previous tenant, I gleaned through letters that came for him long after he moved, had apparently witnessed a murder in the street outside. Our downstairs neighbour Adam was forever smoking skunk and was the nicest lad about.

I never got a sense of the people in Crewe. Didn't feel like a town with much of an identity but I was happy enough for the year I lived there. My life took quite a sharp decline for about a decade after I came back to NI so it at least outranks THIS ENTIRE COUNTRY.

That's me Crewe stories.

holyzombiejesus

I had an extremely messy, mainly platonic relationship with a girl from Cuddington. Can any readers beat that?

canadagoose

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 26, 2022, 10:29:14 AMI can't put my finger on why, but the most deso place on earth is Crewe train station. The town itself is fine, but the station is a sore, a pustule, a gaping hole of an anus.

Maybe it's just that it strikes when you least expect it. Your train from Kinross to Sheffield goes via Crewe? Unexpected the first time it happens, but soon you realise that all trains somehow go via Crewe. Crossrail probably does.
That's a bit Twilight Zone, because Kinross doesn't have a railway station. It's got a bloke on a swing though.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: canadagoose on May 26, 2022, 04:25:16 PMThat's a bit Twilight Zone, because Kinross doesn't have a railway station. It's got a bloke on a swing though.
Not since the 60s anyway. They built the M90 motorway up part of the line so there's no chance of re-opening it. Crook of Devon* is near Kinross, which might be where your confusion lies. I'm sure from Devon to anywhere you have to go to Crewe.

*twinned with Thief of Baghdad famously.