Writing a stupid fucking book

[tookish]

Anyone else written a book?

Absolutely fucking horrid, isn't it. But also very exhilarating.

I wrote a shite excuse for a novel during lockdown, but this one might be better, I think.

Anyway, I want to read YOUR books. Tell me about them please.

[madhair60]

no its easy, i'm on my third.

[tookish]

no its easy, i'm on my third.

I don't doubt it. You should do audiobooks with that sonorous voice.

[Jack Shaftoe]

I did write a book, ground out 500 words a day over lockdown, got an agent, woo! Agent was rubbish, still hadn't got back to me with his notes after a year, so I sacked him, got another agent, woo! Spent nine months getting rejections, then just as we were about to give up, one editor from a new, tiny publisher went nuts for it. Advance was itichy, but they seem genuinely excited about it, going to give it their all with publicity, it sounds like, and it's going to be published in exactly one year (20th Feb '25), so that's nice. Fully expect it to vanish into the ether and no-one involved to get anywhere near the money and time they invested in it back, but fuck it, it's an actual book, it'll be on shelves (briefly).

It's also going to have a map in the front and a glossary, all I've ever wanted.

[Zero Gravitas]

no its easy, i'm on my third.

I can see madhair60 being uniquely untroubled by the writing process.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

refining a lot of research work for publication. taken over half a decade so far. sick of it now. yet already excited to start the second one on the exact same topic

the real joy is if the first is successful having to do the general audience version which as far as i understand it is just writing Care About My Opinions Pls for 240 pages then dying with a pop culture analogy between your teeth

[bgmnts]

Actually writing stuff down is fun and fulfilling, but trying to figure out what to write about, and form those ideas into successful sentences seems a real pain in the arse.

Good luck to every future published novel writer.

[dead-ced-dead]

I wrote a manuscript a few years ago that I was proud of but quite un-commercial, so it got knocked back by agents. Some of them were complimentary, but it's like that bit in Sideways when Miles' book gets its final rejection - a good book with no home.

I'm in the planning stages of a book I'm writing with my bro. It's a supernatural/detective thingy, because I'd figure I'd overload on it being "sellable". Problem is without a plan I tend to lose track. I have loads of books I've got 5-6 chapters in before stopping. So this time we're writing a mega document with each chapters' plot points, characters etc all mapped out. Once that's finished, we'll properly start.

[lauraxsynthesis]

I wrote a fanfic that was meant to be shortish but ended up 50k words. I enjoyed writing it, particularly because of the particular music I played while writing. I reread it once a year and am constantly tweaking it - changing words etc, so not sure if I should count it as complete.

[dead-ced-dead]

I wrote a fanfic that was meant to be shortish but ended up 50k words. I enjoyed writing it, particularly because of the particular music I played while writing. I reread it once a year and am constantly tweaking it - changing words etc, so not sure if I should count it as complete.

50 Shades of Grey began as fanfiction, so one can dream. One. Can. Dream.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I spent almost ten years writing a book, though the first seven were very haphazard and it'd sit on my laptop undisturbed for many a month. I can't even remember when I completed the initial first draft now but I think it was around 2016/7, and from then to 2022 I think I went through about 10 drafts.

Finally I sent it off and was rejected by every agent I approached, and then rejected by every small publisher that accepted submissions, before I got ripped off by a proof reader on Fiverr for a couple of hundred quid, and when I finally uploaded it to Amazon it sold 18 copies. I knew it was always going to do badly, but I thought just through friends and family it would sell a few more copies than that, and to be honest it broke me for far longer than I'd like to admit.

Since then via Amazon promotions 44 people have downloaded the e-book for free (though I didn't realise I'd clicked the button to sign up for the promotion side of things and thought the sales were real initially, so that was another kick in the teeth when I discovered that they weren't), and the only reviews on the site are from people I know.

The only real positives were that QDRPHNC was kind enough to design an amazing cover for it, and a few friends (including some people on here) have said kind things about it, but some of the feedback from people I know in real life was downright cruel, with one relative explaining why they didn't enjoy it in horrible detail.

Now when I think about the book, or notice the one copy I have of it on my bookshelf, I don't get any pleasure from having completed it at all, and in all honesty I wish I hadn't bothered, even typing this up has moved me to tears.

[Sarnie Rudeboy]

Why do people write more books if the first one they write is bad? Why not just make that one good? Just add in a few murders or a talking dog or something and then move on.

[dissolute ocelot]

I wrote a zine last weekend. Took 3 hours. Frankly, anything that takes longer is probably over-edited.

[non capisco]

Been writing short stories over the past couple of years, enough thematically for a book now but no idea what I'm going to attempt to do with them. Pretty much just been writing for pleasure rather than an eye to anyone reading them but that's been rewarding enough in itself. Very much doubt they're any kind of magic ladder out of the drudgery trap but y'know, I enjoy the process. They didn't exist and then they did and that's just dandy.

[lauraxsynthesis]

even typing this up has moved me to tears.

Noooo. A salutary tale for sure.

I've noticed that even folks who get multiple novels published by proper publishers, their books on display in museums and galleries and great recommendations from other writers still can't make anything like a livable income off just reader purchases. Bestselling writers with high profiles still have to work as academics. It's clear to me that the only reason to write fiction or poetry is to get out a plotbunny/satisfy inspiration etc. It's not a full-time job and probably wouldn't be an enjoyable one anyway. If I wanted to find an audience for original fiction, I'm not sure what I'd do or if I would be arsed. The great thing about fanfic is the audience is there and will give enthusiastic feedback if it's half decent.

[tookish]

Now when I think about the book, or notice the one copy I have of it on my bookshelf, I don't get any pleasure from having completed it at all, and in all honesty I wish I hadn't bothered, even typing this up has moved me to tears.

How many books has your relative ever written? Bet it's none. I hate when people say 'everyone's got a novel in them' because it takes real graft to eke one out of yourself and not everyone has the inclination. But a whole lot of cunts think they could write a novel if they got around to it, so dismiss the work of those who actually do it.

Sorry this has brought up painful stuff for you. I think it's really cool that you've written a book, and you should be proud of yourself.

Why do people write more books if the first one they write is bad? Why not just make that one good? Just add in a few murders or a talking dog or something and then move on.

In my case, it was because I was a much better writer when I started the second. The writing was shaky and the plotting awful in book one, probably because I was climbing the fucking walls in lockdown, but also because I was inexperienced and thought it would sort of write itself. This one seems to be going better, because I'm more disciplined and less mental.

[tookish]

I did write a book, ground out 500 words a day over lockdown, got an agent, woo! Agent was rubbish, still hadn't got back to me with his notes after a year, so I sacked him, got another agent, woo! Spent nine months getting rejections, then just as we were about to give up, one editor from a new, tiny publisher went nuts for it. Advance was itichy, but they seem genuinely excited about it, going to give it their all with publicity, it sounds like, and it's going to be published in exactly one year (20th Feb '25), so that's nice. Fully expect it to vanish into the ether and no-one involved to get anywhere near the money and time they invested in it back, but fuck it, it's an actual book, it'll be on shelves (briefly).

It's also going to have a map in the front and a glossary, all I've ever wanted.

Hey! That's so cool.

[Buelligan]

Why do people write more books if the first one they write is bad? Why not just make that one good? Just add in a few murders or a talking dog or something and then move on.

I wrote a book that was OK.  People said it was good.  Then I had a life-experience which changed my thoughts on the subject of the book (one of the subjects).  A book is not like a potato. 

Rather, a good book is like a bad potato, you can't just cut out the bad bits and change them into something else.  A bad book can be the mother of some good books.  That's like a potato too.

[QDRPHNC]

Sorry to hear that, @Small Man Big Horse. If it's any consolation, I think if you're wanting to do something, it's infinitely better to do that thing than not do that thing, because if you don't it will fester and if you do it creates a whole bunch of possibilities in life and in art that you could never have anticipated had it simply remained in your head. Maybe not the short term outcome you hoped for (very, very, very few artists get the short term outcome they hope for), but you never know what it could lead to in the future. And if nothing else, you wrote and published a novel, and it's done, and you can move on. I understand the disappointment, but try to take some pride in the accomplishment, which is significant.

[Jack Shaftoe]

Now when I think about the book, or notice the one copy I have of it on my bookshelf, I don't get any pleasure from having completed it at all, and in all honesty I wish I hadn't bothered, even typing this up has moved me to tears.

Ah man, that's tough - but there's a book in the world that wasn't there before and that's pretty cool. Even if no fucker got it, you made a thing.

I wrote a kids' fantasy book about fifteen years ago, threw everything into it, got an agent on the first three chapters, some interest from publishers, finished it six months later and... no one gave a shit. Just a complete lack of interest, all the people who'd said nice things initially had just moved on to something else. The agent persuaded me to do a load of rewrites to trim it down and tidy it up, but it was clear she'd completely missed the point of the thing and it all became quite sour, unfortunately and in the end I just abandoned it, really put me off the whole idea of writing a book for over a decade.

Hey! That's so cool.

Thank you! The proof copies are being printed soon, so I'll have an actual physical copy in my hands in a few weeks and honestly, that'll be enough to make up for all the effort I put in, I think. And the cover they came up with cool as hell.

[imitationleather]

Stupid books need the most writing!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Wrote a novel and self published it in 2011. It wasnt very good.

Fuck the haters SMBH, keep writing stories. I know its not the same but your posts on here are really well written, Im sure your book was as well. I reckon your book was a lot better than mine, given I cant even write posts properly. It could be that many of the people who gave harsh feedback were jealous of someone who had written a book. You should be proud of your achievement.

[Rolf Lundgren]

I've written one novel about 10 years which I self-published because I couldn't deal with the hassle of all the major publishing houses fighting over me nobody liked it.

I've sold 41 copies. Of the 3 people in real-life I know who've read it, none of them were especially complimentary about it but it was nice of them to read it at least. It was mortifying whenever it was brought up actually. It felt like this very personal thing even though the subject matter wasn't t autobiographical in the slightest. Not consciously anyway but it must have also been saying something about me that I didn't feel comfortable talking about.

It's not something I'm particularly proud of and I don't bring it up in conversation but I'm glad I did it as proof that I could do it. From start to finish it took one year which isn't bad going and I've never had a story pour out of me as easily as this one did.

The second book I wrote sits in Amazon waiting to be published because it really is so awful I can't bear myself to unleash it. Occasionally it pops into my head that I should edit but it's unsalvageable so it just sits there doing nothing.

[shoulders]

Currently writing a book that's a guide, so not a novel. It's still hard work but probably not relevant to this.

Nearest I have come to a major work is a 90 minute TV screenplay. I built it in a structure and method that was unfamiliar to me but really fucking helped. The subject was like a composite of the hacking scandal and the McCann story, effectively a satire/farce about media character assassination.

I learnt that I am not outstandingly naturally talented at writing but good enough that if I plugged away at it I could get somewhere.

There's the problem though, can't deal with the rejection and wasted hours, I just want everything to be a silver bullet.

I would like to write a novel and have tried but always reach a point where the exciting premise and electric opening chapters are confronted by the reality of the research and depth needed to make it halfway interesting.

Up to a point, anyone who has completed a major project should be applauded. I won't say where the point is, but you get the drift.

[checkoutgirl]

Stupid books need the most writing!

Be better off writing a clever book in my humble opinion. Although DaVinci Code sold a billion copies so what do I know.

[Midas]

Finally I sent it off and was rejected by every agent I approached, and then rejected by every small publisher that accepted submissions, before I got ripped off by a proof reader on Fiverr for a couple of hundred quid, and when I finally uploaded it to Amazon it sold 18 copies. I knew it was always going to do badly, but I thought just through friends and family it would sell a few more copies than that, and to be honest it broke me for far longer than I'd like to admit.

If it's any consolation, William Blake sold only 18 copies of Songs of Innocence, and went to the grave having only managed to secure one solo exhibition of his work, which received a single review in a newspaper that labelled him "an unfortunate lunatic".

[Deskbound Cunt]

I coauthored a book which was published a few years ago. It was a collection of my old fanzines with a bunch of new stuff. It did okay (number one in the Amazon music book charts briefly- in your face Stubbs!)

I was a long and sometimes frustrating process. Worth it? Hell yes!

[Anagram of a Shit Name]

I can't even read

[badaids]

Why are you writing a fucking stupid book, just right a good one instead.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I really appreciate the support and kind words, and I wish I could change the way I feel about it, but I fail each and every time and I do regret spending so much of my life on it.

Anyway, I'm going to bow out of this thread now, but I really am glad that many had a far better experience than I did, and I hope everyone who is currently writing a book has a much better one too.