The Queen has a dose [split topic]

[Blue Jam]

Charles must be licking a lot of toilet seats.

I bet Chas is going to Wetherspoons non-stop. Licking all the toilet seats and door handles and shaking Tim Martin's hand before ordering one of their blatant Nando's rip-offs:



Oh yeah, you'd love a bit of Peri-Peri swan wouldn't you Chas, get the gouty hands flaring up nicely

[Captain Z]

Who's going to play the piano at her funeral and what song will they bastardise the lyrics for?

One Queen on a stamp
St Edward's Crown still gleaming

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

what on earth was that picture taken for?

[bgmnts]

Ebay listing.


Washed up blue tick for sale, used - acceptable.

[idunnosomename]

Baddiel can sight-read pop songs for piano can't he? why he's solemnly tilting a Joni Mitchell songbook over a hardback vol of Beethoven piano sonatas, bit odd though

[Hugl]

[Fambo Number Mive]

The Queen'll be fine, and then they can push the line 'If a 190-year-old* woman can shrug it off, we obviously need no restrictions whatsoever, treating it as a serious threat is akin to wanting Her Majesty dead, you traitors!'

* Two birthdays, remember.

Mail front page (which BBC News is sharing with everyone in their free ad for the tabloids) has "Queen's covid example to us all" for carrying on working with covid. No doubt the mainly retired and middle class Mail readers will expect everyone who has covid who cant work from home to stagger into work and infect everyone.

[SpiderChrist]

When the CoD dies I'm going to have a massive fucking wank in my royalist neighbour's garden. Weather permitting.

[idunnosomename]

They're going to be dosing her up with so many potions to try and get her corpse shambling out for the jubilee.

Hopefully it'll work for a bit then she'll burst spectacularly at the worst possible time like the pony at the end of that Stressed Eric episode

[idunnosomename]

weirdly enough, because of a box of ivermectin included in an Australian news report, the anti-vaxxers are convinced the Queen is on horse paste.

They're probably right tbh. That or Charles is breaking out his homeopathy kit

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Finally, I can be confident to say I could destroy the queen in a fistfight.

[Replies From View]

Q) what will QVIN say as her last words

A) O MI CROWN


^ because it will have slipped off of her sagging dying head

[BlodwynPig]

ITV North-East news wishing her majesty a speedy recovery.

Like she'll be tuned in to that.

Fawning.

If they'd wished Prince Philip a speedy recovery then I would have been ebullient.

[Ferris]

Surely the Queen gets access to the best medical care in the UK and will be in much better health than most people?

Well - better health than most 95 year olds, which doesn't exactly say much.

[Fambo Number Mive]

She is pretty sprightly, remember when she had a fight with John Major?

[Bleeding Kansas]

Yes. It was in all the History books.

[Enzo]

I say put her on a plane to Barbados

[Replies From View]

I say put her on a plane to Barbados

Not that kind of dose!!

[Kankurette]

Mail front page (which BBC News is sharing with everyone in their free ad for the tabloids) has "Queen's covid example to us all" for carrying on working with covid. No doubt the mainly retired and middle class Mail readers will expect everyone who has covid who cant work from home to stagger into work and infect everyone.

What 'work' does Liz do, exactly?

[Blue Jam]

I bet the Mail aren't reporting Lizzie's skiving today, are they?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60477065

[idunnosomename]

THE QUEEN IS DYING!!! SHES DYING!!!!

[Kankurette]

Morrissey considers rewrite.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

What are people here going to say when she does die?  Is it all going to be 'ha-ha, dead Queen,' 'ha-ha, dead Queen'?

[Blumf]

I bet the Mail aren't reporting Lizzie's skiving today, are they?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60477065

Bloody Cancel Culture!

[Blumf]

What are people here going to say when she does die?  Is it all going to be 'ha-ha, dead Queen,' 'ha-ha, dead Queen'?

"Oh god, there's nothing on TV but dead Queen!"

[superthunderstingcar]

"Oh god, there's nothing on TV but dead Queen!"

I for one will be too busy watching the wall-to-wall coverage on the BBC to post here. I won't want to miss a second of it.

[Bleeding Kansas]

What are people here going to say when she does die?  Is it all going to be 'ha-ha, dead Queen,' 'ha-ha, dead Queen'?

A Ma'am has died.

[Ferris]

I bet the Mail aren't reporting Lizzie's skiving today, are they?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60477065

The announcement that the Queen had caught Covid had been accompanied by a reassurance that she was well enough to carry on working from Windsor Castle.

It had been seen as a business as usual message, to avoid any alarm about her health.
On Sunday she signed off a message of congratulations to the GB Winter Olympics curling teams and on Monday sent a message of condolence to Brazil after fatal flooding.

But this latest update says that the Queen has decided not carry out any engagements...

Love the suggestion that signing off on a message of congratulations is her normal, reassuring workload, but she now intends to do some level of work even lighter than that.

Genuinely can't think of something less intensive than saying "yes that'll do" to a giant thank you card.

[JamesTC]

What are people here going to say when she does die?  Is it all going to be 'ha-ha, dead Queen,' 'ha-ha, dead Queen'?

"Hope she pulls through"

[Butchers Blind]

What are people here going to say when she does die?  Is it all going to be 'ha-ha, dead Queen,' 'ha-ha, dead Queen'?

Twos up while she's still warm.